A Beautiful Catastrophe - Chapter 176

[Music Recommendation: “Scenery” by Kim Taehyung (BTS – V) available in Youtube or Spotify] ~ Please listen to it in a loop while you read this part to experience the utmost beauty of this chapter ~

Appreciating Marie’s own act of kindness, I smiled at her and did my best to not overthink. For a moment, I rid myself of the negative thoughts I had. I’ll just contemplate it when I’m alone or maybe later once I get back home. Being lost in thought while at school wasn’t really nice. I should be listening to the lesson. Now, I got one great lesson I didn’t get to understand and learn. Haaah… Why am I such an over-thinker?

Anyway, thanks to that, I somehow managed to actually listen to the next classes. Not long after, class ended and we all met at the parking lot to say goodbye to each other—or not. As we walked towards the car, Kaiden and Callan kept on discussing things about the game they were building, probably their project. I was with them so I overheard.

“I’m hiding from my mother right now, boss,” Callan complained. “Can we do it in your place instead? I can do the tedious tasks.”

“When is the deadline for this again?” Kaiden asked, checking on his phone’s calendar.

“A-ack! Well… next week,” Callan answered awkwardly.

“Yes. It’s already next week and you’re still not done on your part.”

“Please have mercy.”

Kaiden smirked, “Too busy trying to woo my sister?”

“W-what? That’s not true. Crystal is NEVER a distraction for me. She’s my inspiration. Hey, you’re one to talk! You live with Senara!”

“Ha-ha-ha! I got lucky, that’s why. But I still finish my tasks on time,” Kaiden teased.

“Fine. I’ll make sure to finish everything tonight! So please, let’s just do it in your place.”

“But I won’t be able to spend time with Senara.”

“You can leave me in your office. I promise not to try and hack your secret files,” Callan teased back. “You know, those—”

“I don’t have secret files. And you’re not using my desktop. Use the free one in the library.”

“Ahm, Kaiden,” I joined in the conversation, “actually, it’s okay. I have something to do tonight so you can spend time with Callan.”

Yes. I did have some writing to do, plus the contemplating part. And in case I’m joining the contest, then maybe that, too.

Kaiden was surprised with what I said, or rather, disappointed. I’m really sorry. My mind was just jumbled up today and I’m not so sure if I’m in the mood for flirting or being lovey-dovey.

“Oh… in that case, I’ll leave you alone then,” Kaiden pouted.

We finally reached the car and Callan got inside his car and started it. Hora, Crystal and Verrill were not yet there so Kaiden and I went inside the car to sit down while we waited. We opened up the window so they’ll know we’re there. Kaiden’s car windows were tinted so it would be hard to know if anyone was inside unless we rolled the windows down.

Inside the car, I noticed Kaiden kept on staring at me who was somehow staring at the scenery outside the car. I could feel his gaze at me even if I didn’t look at him.

“What? Why are you staring at me?” I chuckled and asked him.

“Senara, are you okay?” he asked, much to my surprise. Was I too obvious? Where’s my poker face when I need it?

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good. I’m just… thinking.” Trying to think of an excuse, I remembered the writing contest Marie mentioned. “I-I’m thinking of a story to use for the Writing Contest. It starts next week and I just thought of joining right now when I should have prepared weeks ago.”

Then, I took out the flyer from my bag and showed it to him. Hopefully, that was convincing enough. Even if it’s Kaiden, I couldn’t get myself to confide with him on this matter. Besides, “I” am the problem—and the way I think. I’m so… confused and at a loss about everything.

Kaiden took the flyer and read it. After reading, he looked back at me, still with an observing eye. Was he not convinced with that? He stared at me again for a couple more seconds and sighed. Then, he leaned over and hugged me.

“Senara,” he whispered to my ears as he patted my back. “I love you.”

“!!!”

…

…

…

I… was shocked. In a good way, of course. Before I knew it, tears clouded my eyes. With trembling hands, I hugged him back and clenched on his shirt.

“Kaiden…” I whispered his name despite my weakened tone.

‘I don’t get it. I never understood how is it that he can always read me—how he can always say things I need to hear when I need them? Or how he can do things I want him to do, or help me in ways I want to be helped? How can he be so perfect? And because of that… I just feel more and more unworthy of him.’

“Can I keep on loving you?”

Alas, the words I wanted to ask him the most.

“A-Am I even worthy of—”

Not letting me finish my words, Kaiden shut me up with a deep kiss. At the same time, he closed down the car window and held me closer. His soft lips wet mine and devoured me hungrily. My heart thumped hard in my chest as he kissed me passionately. And when our lips finally parted, my whole body felt hot and my face, feverish. My body felt weak and drained with energy… along with my stupid thoughts.

“Did you say something?” Kaiden smirked, obviously teasing me because of what I said. “For a moment I thought you were saying something… not nice.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You better be because if you’re saying you’re not worthy of me then we have some problem on your definition of worth.”

“Well… ahm…”

“Senara,” he called my name firmly. “You’re the only one worthy of me because you’re the only ‘you’ in the world.”

Awwww… that was so sweet of him. I felt so touched and my insecurities slowly melted away. Kaiden was not the type to lie and if he meant what he said then that means… he loved me because I’m “me”, right? Even if someone better than me comes along, if it wasn’t me then he won’t fall for her, right? Even if it’s someone ordained by destiny… right?