A Beautiful Catastrophe - Chapter 178

[Music Recommendation: “Blue & Grey” by BTS (instrumental only)-available in Youtube or Spotify] ~ Please listen to it in a loop while you read this part to experience the utmost beauty of this chapter ~

I definitely couldn’t tell her about the time traveling part but about Sarah… maybe I could open up a bit?

“So it is about Sarah,” Hora said, stressing the word “is”.

“Not entirely, but that’s one,” I confessed. “I know, I’m just being silly and all that but—”

“Yes, you are,” she agreed without even hearing my story.

“I haven’t said anything yet,” I complained. It was pretty easy to guess though.

Hora chuckled and raised her eyebrows. “I bet you’re comparing yourself to her saying she’s more beautiful and this and that. And that she looks great with Kaiden, and they’re perfect for each other, right?”

“Woah! You nailed it! H-how? Can you read minds?”

“Tsk tsk tsk. I know you like the back of my hand, Sena,” she smirked.

“Ha-ha-ha! Of course. And sorry for not telling you sooner. You’re right. I needed some time to think.”

Hora nodded. “And where has your thinking got you?”

“About that… honestly, nowhere. I’m just going round and round in circles.”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Aigooooo this girl,” she clicked her tongue again. “You really will be stuck in a circle if you keep degrading yourself. This is just like what happened with me and Crystal. It’s really simple what you need to do.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say, you are me, Crystal is Sarah, and Verrill is Kaiden,” Hora explained. “You and Kaiden have mutual feelings, and Sarah is the other party—we’re not even sure if she likes Kaiden. She doesn’t seem to be the type to like other girl’s boyfriends but for the sake of comparison, let’s just say she does.”

I got confused about what she meant but—okay?

“You see, even if Sarah ends up liking Kaiden too, what matters is that Kaiden loves you and you love him—just like me and Verrill. Did Verrill’s heart change despite knowing Crystal’s feelings? Did my feelings change? No, they didn’t. And is Crystal lacking on anything? Not at all! In fact, she’s way more gorgeous than I am, smarter than I am, so much more perfect and better than I am. But did that matter in Verrill’s feelings? Not at all, right?”

My eyes widened, finally understanding what she meant.

“Oh my goodness! I—yeah, I get what you mean.”

“Really?”

“Yes. What matters is that he loves you.”

“That and the fact that, even if I seem to be lacking lots of things, I really am not. I’m just exactly what Verrill prefers. I am what I need to be. Crystal and I are different. You and Sarah are different, too. But that doesn’t mean any of you is lacking anything. It just happened that Kaiden prefers you, and loves you because you’re ‘you’. You get that?”

Right. It was the same with what Kaiden said. He loves me because I’m me. I believed that… but other than that, there was a greater concern that I badly wanted to ask her as well but—I don’t know, maybe it’s taboo. Like something bad would happen if I spilled the beans with anyone.

“Yes, you’re right. That’s why I said I’m being silly. He-he.”

“Exactly. And stop looking down on yourself, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

We ended up laughing at each other after that. Until, I suddenly thought of an idea.

“Hora… there’s something else I want to ask you as well.”

“Hm? Sure! What is it?”

“It’s… regarding a story I just thought of.”

“You just thought of? Like, right now while we were talking?”

“Ha-ha-ha! Yes! It’s just an idea though. I want to get your opinion if that’s okay. Mind you, it’s gonna be a spoiler.”

“Oh no. That’s okay. Spoilers are good. Tell me.”

I breathed deeply and stared intently at Hora while trying to gather courage within me. I had decided. I’m gonna confess everything but in the form of a story. That way, she wouldn’t think I’m a lunatic or risk anything taboo, right? Yeah. Let’s just say everything was just a story.

“Well, regarding what just happened,” I started to explain. “Let’s say, I’ll put the same scenario into the story I’m planning to write. But then there’s a twist.”

“Hm? What twist?”

Badump! Badump! Badump!

“Ahmm… I somehow want it to be a fantasy romance so I’m thinking…”

I kept on pausing, feeling so nervous about everything. Phew! Relax, Sena.

Hora waited eagerly for me to finish my words. Then, blurting it all in a shout, I continued—

“What if the female lead is actually a time traveller and she’s destroying two destined lovers by entering the picture and taking her spot?”

I said all that in one go, even closing my eyes. By the moment I opened them again, I saw Hora’s face turn horrid. Her face went pale and her lips dried up. But… why? I said it was all a story. She wouldn’t happen to think that it was real, right? Even if it really was real. I mean, who in their right mind would think time travelling was possible and not a made-up story?

“Hora?” I called her, trying to get her attention. “Is there a problem?”

Hora’s eyes trembled a bit. Then, she sighed and looked me straight in the eyes.

“… Sena, I—it’s nothing.”

“Hm? It’s not nothing. What is it? Your face is pale.”

“I—uuh, remembered something I needed to do. That’s all. But it’s okay, I can do it later.”

She was lying. What in the world would she do in the middle of the night when she already finished her homework? Haaah… I’ll let it slide for now.

“Okaaaay,” I agreed, sounding skeptical.

“Anyway, regarding your story idea, it sounds interesting. Tell me more about it.”

And so, I told Hora everything that my mind kept on worrying about—me stealing other people’s destinies and all that—but in the form of a story. She carefully listened to everything I said. I didn’t give a background story for the female lead since she could easily guess I’m referring to myself but I explained the doubts she had about herself. Hopefully, that was enough to explain the whole situation.

After I finished talking, Hora asked me a single question as she smiled warmly, looking at me.

“Sena…”

“Yes?”

“Is it wrong to want to be happy?”

Hearing those words, I wanted to cry so bad.