A Book Dedicated to Our Youth - Chapter 66: Fanwai 1: Fleeting Year (1)
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Zhang Jun was dumped by his girlfriend recently.
This girlfriend is very beautiful, but has a bad problem and likes to ask his love history. She made a clear investigation of his love history. A total of six ex-girlfriends, each of them carefully questioned, except for one, the reason is very simple, because the other five are all proposing to break up with Zhang Jun, only this one , Is a breakup proposed by Zhang Jun. According to the girlfriend’s logic, since it is the person you actively dumped, naturally there is no emotion, but the other five are different. Who knows if you are still in love, is it possible to resurrect? It’s been a long time ago, especially the previous one and the second one are very suspicious.
So the following dialogue is often staged
“Which girlfriend is your best?”
“Which girlfriend do you like best?”
Zhang Jun doesn’t like answering these questions, but when the woman is chattering, God will cry, instead of being restless by her chatter, it is better to answer the past honestly.
“The most beautiful girlfriend … I think … it seems to be sitting opposite me.”
“Favorite? There is no favorite, the only one you like is you.”
He coaxed her like a child. The girlfriend has not experienced the unforgettable feelings, and does not understand that the most unwilling page in life must be hidden deepest.
He has always been kind to her, and his life is very stable.
However, one day, the girlfriend did not know where to hear that the girl he dumped was Tsinghua, and immediately became interested, repeatedly asking what the girl looked like.
He wanted to persevere as soon as possible, but his girlfriend did n’t know why, and suddenly he was anxious, asking him to say a bad word about the girl, to tell the shortcomings of the girl that he hated, or break up with him.
He lowered his head and thought for a long time, exhausted his heart, raised his head and said to his girlfriend: “For me, her only shortcoming is that she does not love me.”
The girlfriend looked at him froze for a while, and said calmly, “Let’s break up!”
He said, “Okay!”
They broke up, but Zhang Jun still paid to help his girlfriend solve the work.
He also helped to find a house and move house. After everything was arranged properly, he retired.
The girlfriend was very emotional, “No wonder your ex-girlfriends praised you as if there was nothing in the sky, but they refused to be your girlfriend.”
Zhang Jun said with a smile: “I am not blessed.”
After seeing a little bit of dust on his shirt, his girlfriend wanted to reach out to help him wipe it off, but Zhang Jun took a step back immediately, and his girlfriend was nothing. do not like you?”
Zhang Jun played with the car keys, making them clang and smiled, “Who? Who doesn’t like me? I thought everyone likes me!”
The girlfriend stopped talking and sent him downstairs, waving goodbye to him.
Zhang Jun got into the car and hummed Zhang Xueyou’s song unconsciously. With one hand playing the steering wheel, he opened the CD in the car. When he heard Jolin Tsai’s song, he was too lazy to change the disc.
The host broadcast the traffic and traffic conditions. While driving, he tuned the channel. There were male voices and female voices on the stereo for a while, joy and sorrow circulated in an instant, like a life full of holes.
Finally tuned to the channel with the song, and it happened to be the prelude, he stopped.
Very melodic and nice mezzo-soprano, the music is also soothing and sweet, and slowly confided in the small space of the car, the first sentence of the lyrics attracted Zhang Jun’s attention.
I want to ask if you still remember my name
When the tide rises and falls again several times
Those crazy and romantic days in those years and things
Ah as if
You have been here for a while
I miss my life
What’s wrong with this?
Only happy for a while
Why do I insist that it must be
The most memorable thing
Joy and sorrow across the mountains and ocean
Not alone
Fortunately, there was your warm atrium
Still light you left
You shine
I’m dazed all my life
I’m really embarrassed
But I was at the time
I really thought you embraced me
Is a hint of promise
After people come and go, expect and disappoint
I’m still lonely
Fortunately, the eyes that weeped for you
Still shining the light of love
All these things for a lifetime
What kind of days did you spend
Please promise one thing
If I can see you again
Please let me see
Your brilliant look
In the singing, the smile on Zhang Jun’s face slowly faded away, his eyes staring intently at the front, with a vague sorrow in his eyes.
When he was young, he had loved a girl wholeheartedly, but that girl did not love him, or could not say that he did not love at all, it should be said that he was not very loving.
At that time, both of them were young, and from time to time there would be disputes, a little bit, Qi Qi would ignore him. He loved it very humblely, and kept her with compromises again and again, hoping that she could be moved one day, and when he looked down, he could see his hands holding her heart in front of her.
But no!
Her front is too gorgeous, she does not care to bow her head, just want to fly forward.
That time, before the final exam, they had the biggest dispute, no one talked to anyone, a cold war. Actually, he did n’t want to fight her coldly. He just naively hoped that this time she would come and say “I ’m wrong, let ’s reconcile” with him. He wanted to see her hard to catch in this way. Heart, want to see her care about him.
In the anxious waiting, all he waited for was disappointment. Qi Qi lived his life as usual and was indifferent to his departure, but he kept her in her mind all the time.
After the test results came out, his results were messed up, and she not only took the lead, but also left the second place farther and farther. All the buddies around him persuaded him to break up, and the girl didn’t care about him at all.
However, he was reluctant, even if she knew she didn’t care about him, he still refused to score.
The school invited previous outstanding graduates to give lectures, Qi Qi was sitting not far in front of him. He didn’t listen to anything on the stage and kept watching her.
Her eyes are bright, staring at the Tsinghua University students on the stage, sometimes contemplative, sometimes smiling, he is a little sad, he is not those excellent boys, can attract her gaze.
Ever since the winter vacation of the second year of high school, when Gao asked Qiqi if he wanted to go to Tsinghua University or Peking University, he felt the pressure was coming, and he began to wonder where the way out of this relationship was.
At that time, he told himself that as long as two people love each other, he is willing to work hard to make sure he can overcome all difficulties together.
Today, he stared at Qi Qi, clearly near, but felt that she was getting farther and farther away from him, and there seemed to be a gap between them that he could not bridge anyway.
The deep sorrow pervaded his heart. He did a very naive thing and said to himself: If she looked at me at this time, then it proves that our fate is still there. I will be later. Go to her, apologize to her, and tell her that no matter where she plans to fly, I will do my best to follow.
But no!
For nearly two hours at the meeting, Qi Qi did not glance in his direction, as if she had never existed in his life.
He smiled at himself in his heart and said, look, God said you have no fate! Tell you not to be overstretched! give up!
After the meeting ended, she disappeared into the crowd quickly as before, and she seemed unable to remember that she had a boyfriend.
His heart had sunk to the bottom, but pride made him smile.
Talking to Huang Wei and Guan He, laughing and walking out of the auditorium casually, but still thinking about her.
In a corner, she suddenly appeared in front of him, but next to her stood a young man with a brilliant and magnificent spirit—the former provincial champion, now the top student of Tsinghua University, Chen Jin.
The two whispered and laughed, with the same confidence and firmness between their eyebrows.
At that moment, he suddenly thought of a proper word to describe them: flying together.
Qiqi needs such a boy, who can accompany her to fight the sky.
He tried to pretend not to care and pretend to be indifferent, but deep in his heart he knew how hesitant he was. He didn’t even have the courage to face Qi Qi and had to flee in a hurry.
Just when he was hesitant, Qi Qi and he proposed to break up.
He told himself that this is the best result, you really do n’t fit, but every night, he always thinks of her, from small to large, her figure is filled with his memories of every page, thinking of these memories Tearing off is like tearing away his entire youth. The devastating pain makes it hard for him to accept the loss of her.
Reason tells himself over and over again that Qi Qi is not happy with him. She is always hesitating, struggling, angry, and suffering with two of them rather than one alone.
But without analyzing how much Zhi Zhi analyzes, his feelings are always painful, and he is reluctant to let go!
After a painful struggle, he decided to give himself one last chance. He worked hard. If the mid-term exam scores entered the top ten of the grade, and he still hoped to accompany Qi Qi into the future life, then he would never let go. After all the effort, still falling behind her, let it go!
Can not have her, at least can give her blessings, let her fly without care.
After giving himself his last chance, he stood in front of her and humbly begged her to come back to him.
The first sentence she said turned out to be a secret condemnation of his poor final exam results and lack of self-control to control herself.
At that moment he was very disappointed with her rational lucidity, but at the same time admired her rational lucidity, this girl made him love and hate intertwined.
Qiqi returned to him. He tried his best to improve the future of him and Qiqi for the exam.
Every time he saw her, his heart was filled with joy and sorrow at the same time. Maybe after the midterm exam, he would let her go completely. Maybe this is the last time he has her in this life.
Because every day is the last day, he strives to make himself happy, and strives to make her happy, taking care of them carefully every day.
Qi Qi looked at his eyes but still harbored a lot of sorrow, maybe she was thinking about the future and the choice of love in her heart.
He knew that she did not want to give up anything for love, Guan He said Qi Qi looked down on “Anna?” In the love of Anna in Karenina, a woman must never put love first. Because of this sentence, he turned this book three times in a row.
After trying his best, the mid-term exam did not even make the top 20.
On the day when the test scores came down, he sat alone by the lotus pond at school for a night. Maybe Qi Qi is all his youthful years. Losing her means losing all the happy memories of the past, but he must give up.
At Xiaoqiao, he wanted to break up with her, but he couldn’t control himself and kissed her.
He wanted to ask Qiqi, will you remember me forever?
Qi Qi said, ten years later, you come to ask me.
How he wanted to have the opportunity to ask her ten years later, but another man would be by her side ten years later.
He didn’t have the courage to propose a breakup in person, he could only break up in the letter.
That night, he had nowhere to vent his pain. He wanted to drink and fight, but he knew Qiqi would despise him like this.
He can only control it rationally.
They sneaked into the fourth elementary school, slipped into the empty classroom, sat on the seats they had sat in, and let themselves be submerged in sorrow in the dark.
That silly little Qiqi, that bad little Zhang Jun …
She used to hold her cold hat in a stubborn manner, shielding him from the sun, and did not change her posture for several hours.
She stammered as soon as she looked at him.
She came to school in a new skirt, but hid behind everyone and walked along the wall. He said, “Your skirt is pretty.” She was not happy, but she seemed to have done something shameful, and her face was flushed. He walked away without saying a word, ignoring him for several days, scaring him to dare to talk in front of her again.
After watching the gangster film, he told her that we created a secret code that only belongs to us. She squeezed the corner of her mouth, and probably thought he was bored. He happily split his surname into “Long Bow” and her name into “Xi Si”, and told her that in the future we will say “Xi Si calls Longbow, Xi Si calls Longbow “, I said” longbow is there, longbow is there “. He asked her to call him a “long bow.” She smiled, but her lips were silent.
She brought a large bag of dried beef made by her mother from home, and he asked her, “Are you eating a solitary meal? Is there any portion for me?” She glanced at him quickly, did not speak, took out two pieces of white paper, and dried the beef Carefully divided into two piles, he wanted to get it, but she took his hand violently, forbid him to take it, and before he responded, she immediately withdrew her hand and lowered her head as if to put it on the table , Two little hands are busy, quickly took out a white paper, and divided a pile of more beef jerky from the two piles, “This is for Teacher Gao, I just forgot.” Her voice was so small and small Mosquitoes hummed, he posted and asked, “What did you say, I didn’t hear anything, I heard a mosquito humming, humming, what is she humming?” She twisted her head and looked Look out the window and stop talking. Throughout a class, no matter what he did or said, she did not aim at him, but when he finished eating his own beef jerky, she pushed her beef jerky over, staring at the subject, humming and said: “Here I am, my tooth hurts a bit and I can’t chew it.”
Although he was not in a class after junior high school, he often met her. Every time she saw her, it was like looking in the mirror, so he couldn’t help but look at himself.
When she saw her academic performance improve, she felt that she could not be too bad. After all, she was a disciple of Teacher Gao, a classmate who won the competition, so she kept her grade while mixing.
Seeing that although she went in and out of the ballroom cabaret, she did not indulge or follow the trend, always holding a book and doing her own work unattended, he felt that even if everyone was cool about taking drugs, he could not be contaminated.
Qiqi has the courage to do her own thing. No matter how enchanting and tempting the girls around her are, she can walk through the most earthy and ugliest clothes without any regard for the people around her. Every time she sees her like this , Like a pot of cold water in his head, all the messy ideas in his head were poured out.
In the three years of junior high school, if there was no Qiqi reminding him at all times, maybe his grades would not be able to keep up with him, or maybe he had been impulsively mixing up with the people around him.
After attending high school, he found that Qiqi was in the next class, he felt that God helped him too.
During the military training, Qi Qi sunburned her face. He asked Tong Yunzhu what to do, and then gave her sunscreen, but she shot the thing back to Song Peng stupidly, so angry that he could only smile bitterly.
When he is ill, Qi Qi will sneak out of the house to accompany him. At that time, I was so happy that I could hold her hand, talk to her all the time, and kiss her. He knew she was timid and wary, so she was careful not to exceed her bottom line, only daring to kiss her hands and cheeks, not even touching her mouth, but those secret desires tortured him so hard to sleep late at night, he It’s okay to comfort yourself, anyway, for a lifetime!
lifetime? Not even tomorrow!
Zhang Jun lay on the table, tears fell silently.
In the dark classroom, he was the only one. He did n’t have to pretend to be strong, and he did n’t have to mind that men should n’t cry.
He stayed in the classroom until late at night before returning home.
Still in the mind is the lingering past, Qi Qi appeared to him like a miracle.
He was in a trance, as if time had not passed, he was still Zhang Jun who could sit by Qi Qi and do his homework. He wanted to get in front of her and laugh at her, “I’m kidding with you, let’s go pick up stones in the river!”
However, Qi Qi’s eyebrows were filled with rational restraint, her expression was very calm, the tone of the words was clear, the logic was strict, and it was not like a male and female lover who broke up.
He knew that Qi Qi would want to understand when he slept and accepted the breakup rationally.
He sent her home, thinking that this was the last time, he was so heartbroken that he could only tell himself over and over again that if he loved her, he would not drag her.
In just a short while, he almost exhausted all his intellect. As soon as he got downstairs, he turned around and walked away. He dared not stay for a moment, and he was afraid of regret.
“Zhang Jun!”
He heard Qiqi’s cry, but he couldn’t look back, not to mention turning back!
Breaking up became a watershed in his feelings.
Before this, although he complained that Qi Qi didn’t love him enough, but he knew that this was something that could not be forced, he didn’t hate her.
After this, he slowly began to hate her.
After they broke up, he was still trying to restrain his thoughts about her. Every time she saw her, she would feel bored in the chest, and she would do nothing immediately. She would fight with her classmates every day. Is not affected at all.
He started to go to school with Huang Wei together, after school, he knew the rumors, but childishly hoped that the rumors spread to Qi Qi’s ears, he even used Huang Wei despicably, and met with Qi Qi unintentionally again and again, let She saw him and Huang Wei together, he just wanted to find a trace in her eyes that cared about him, but no! Qi Qi will always be elated and energetic.
He used to think that after working so hard, she would be a little bit sad for his departure anyway. Even if it was not for their love, there was still a memory between them, she never cherished them. Feelings? Doesn’t she feel sorry for losing him at all?
But she didn’t!
She and Shen Yuanzhe went to and from school together, talking and laughing. Every time they saw them, he didn’t seem to care, but his heart was so uncomfortable that he was about to burst. He couldn’t help but doubt, did Qi Qi really like him? Perhaps, for Luo Qiqi, in addition to his learning and future, it doesn’t matter who the boy walking around is.
Qiqi’s life is as usual, still taking the first place in the exams, she smiled and said to others: “Zhang Jun and I broke up, but we are still friends.”
She was so sensible and generous, but he was extremely disappointed. It turned out that she was much lighter than he thought in her heart.