A Certain Space Incarnate - Chapter 1 Re
Darkness.
I can’t see anything.
I can’t feel anything.
Is this death? Probably yes, there is just no way that I could survive that direct impact. On a slim chance I really did survive, maybe I am currently in a state of coma. Maybe I am currently on expensive life support! Oh, the horror of expenses. I could feel my nonexistent heart pounding so hard, fearing the day that I might wake up to a life-threatening hospital bill.
I guess if I am really running on life support, I guess euthanasia is the best course of action. I certainly would not be angry. The increased pension bill has turned into a law at the start of this year, I guess my parents would be fine without me supporting them in their latter days. I feel sorry for leaving them so early though.
No use to think about it! People come and go, it is a natural law of the world!
I feel like my back is resting on a comfortable plane. Maybe I am in a hospital bed?
Wait, what is this?
A rock?
Why did I suddenly know I am resting on a rock?
A plane rocky surface, huh? I guessed I am still lying down on the concrete road, yet to be rescued. However that guess was proved to be null by the sudden influx of information my mind.
It seemed strange, but I just suddenly perceived everything around me. Well, not really everything everything, it was just everything in a certain radius. Also, I could perceive a strange floating ball of light in the middle of my field of perception.
No way, this—this can’t be my embodiment, right?
I—became a ball of light!?
Wait, I am not sure of it yet. I am yet to test it. I guess I should do some Scientific Method here. Luckily I still recall the steps.
First, observation: there’s this glowing round thing.
Second, identification of the problem, the problem is: I am unsure if this round thing is my body.
Third, make a hypothesis, though it pains me to say this but: My body is that glowing round thing.
Fourth, do some experiment. I imagined myself taking a deep breath, but in reality I just mentally prepared myself. Alright, let’s do this.
I willed to move myself forward.
The floating ball of light was still the center of my perception but I could tell from the change in the things I perceived, that the ball of light moved forward.
I certainly can not accept this. I tried moving towards different directions and even at different speeds, yet the results were all the same.
Grim conclusion: I am this ball of light
Well, it can’t be all that bad, right? I mean, it is quite adorable and also handy. However, I slightly worry if a human sees me like this.
I just remembered something. There is this local myth about a soul of a person turning into a monster that takes form of a floating ball of fire. Could it be that I am now a Santelmo(1)? Am I now going to haunt people forever?
Those slightly stupid questions were again answered to be null as my I began to pay attention to the surface of the rock. Now that I think about it, it felt like I was resting on the rock surface but I was actually hovering above it. I could still sense its texture though.
This is just a feeling but, am I not on Earth?
Before that question can be answered by the same mind that asked it, a sudden presense was felt. I mean, I suddenly felt a presence. It was not so close to me since I can not really ‘see’ it, yet I could just sense its presence. Also, for some reason, that presence is somehow kindred to my own presence.
I must totally check it out! That is what I thought as I started moving towards it. Maybe I could talk to it? Maybe it was another person? Maybe I could ask that thing what is going on!
I kept on thinking of things that might happen once I meet that other presence. Before I knew it, that presence was already within my sphere of perception. As expected, it was another glowing ball of light.
‘Hello?’
I willed to say, yet sadly no voice came out. I was fool to expect that some voice would just magically appear out of nowhere. A talking ball of light is just too silly to be real, right?
Then I started to do some movements back and forth. I remember this is another way of communication. If dolphins do this, so can glowing ball of lights! After a short while of doing all sorts of movements, I am yet to get a response from the other ball of light.
Maybe I should just approach it?
I actually aproached it but still I got no response. I moved a little closer to the point of touching it. Upon making contact, I felt a strange feeling. Looking back at my memories, I think I felt this way before. This is what I am feeling when I know I am doing something wrong. There’s a pang of guilt.
Yes, touching this other ball of light feels taboo. There is this certain invinsible pshychological barrier programmed into me that prevents me from going closer to this ball of light.
Even so, I want to make contact with it more. I want to learn what it is. I want to know what will happen if I do make contact for so long. I ignored growing pshycological pain caused by the psychological barrier and started moving towards the ball of light.
After a short while of pushing, I suddenly felt the sensation akin to two bubbles combining into one. Not just that, there is also this feeling akin to conquering your fears and defying your instincts followed by exhiliration. This exhiliration seem to be caused by gaining something more power.
It’s weird right? I felt kinda weird too and I felt a little dizzy. For a few seconds, I became ‘blind’, yet when I started to perceive again, I noticed that my sphere of perception doubled, same goes for my size.
I had only one thought that time after that discovery.
Isn’t this familliar to a game I have played before?
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