A Date With Faet - Extras #11 (pt.3)

“Not even a peak?” I asked. “Just a brief glimpse?”

Keira shook her head, “She said to stay out until she was done. I don’t know what she’s up to, but she made it clear she wasn’t to be interrupted.”

I sighed and resumed my pacing. I was worried there was something wrong with my girl and I had no idea what. Kelly seemed to know or suspect something, but she’d disappeared to go deal with it and left both Keira and I in the dark.

It didn’t make any sense to me, we all knew who Elise was. She started life as a human man, born in nineteen-sixty-two. She was my adoptive father, until she came out as trans. Then she was my cousin Elise, but that was just her dropping the masc act when she came out. She leaned hard into her new life, she made it easy to forget she’d ever been the quiet stoic accountant who was my adoptive human dad, but we all still knew the truth.

And for the past seven years she’d been my daughter. But she was the same person she always was, it was just another act. Just her way of expressing herself and enjoying her new life. I was certain of that.

Mostly.

As I paced there was a cold heavy feeling in my gut that maybe I screwed something up again. Maybe my magic did more than I thought. Was it possible my spell that made her a young fae teen did something to her mind? Except that didn’t make sense, she still knew and remembered her human life. She had me take her to see her daughters and grandchildren that one time. And I knew she had a couple photo-frames of her human family, I knew she still looked at those pictures now and then. Except now I realized I hadn’t actually seen her looking at them for a few years.

My pacing sped up as I grew more anxious, more nervous that maybe I’d made some mistake and now my little girl was paying the price.

At long last Kelly returned. I immediately asked “How is she? What’s wrong with her? Is this my fault?”

Kelly shook her head and pointed to the chair, “Sit down babe. We have to talk.”

Her serious tone only made that cold heavy feeling worse, but I sat down then repeated my questions.

“She’s going to be fine Tegan,” Kelly stated reassuringly. “And it’s not your fault, so please don’t start blaming yourself.”

Before she continued, Kelly glanced around and asked “Did Willow come in here?”

I blinked my sight on and glanced around, “I don’t see her.”

Keira added, “She didn’t knock or anything, if she came in she was sneaky about it.”

“Damnit,” Kelly sighed. “She probably snuck back into Elise’s room while we were talking.”

Keira sat down at the table with Kelly and I, she looked almost as worried as I felt as she asked “Sis what’s wrong with Elise? I thought she was just acting or something, but I’m getting the feeling it’s more than that?”

Kelly took a deep breath then stated “She is not acting, and I’m going to ask the two of you to banish that word from your vocabularies because in this context it will only hurt her.”

I gulped “Please just tell me what’s wrong with my little girl?”

“There’s nothing wrong per se,” she explained. “I realize now Elise has always been like this, but the signs were subtle and none of us were looking for it. It wasn’t till this afternoon that it hit me.”

She continued, “Your child Elise Brádaigh is not the same person as your cousin, or your dad. All three of them are together but separate. They’re all individual facets of the same complete person.”

Kelly looked at me and stated, “When she told you she’d never been with anyone and she wasn’t into guys, she meant it and she wasn’t wrong. You know we’ve been wondering for years how she adapted so quickly to this life, we thought she was making an extra effort to come across as the young fae teen? I’ll say it once more, that’s not an act. She really is exactly who she seems to be.”

I shook my head, “Kelly I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

Keira answered, “Elise is plural. That’s what you’re getting at, right sis? That’s why it’s not an act. There’s three of them, right? The dad, the cousin, and the young teen?”

“At least three,” Kelly confirmed. “There could well be more.”

She focused on me again and stated “Tegan, don’t refer to her as your cousin or your dad, even in private. Not unless she gives you reason to believe that’s who she is at the time. She’s your little girl and as far as she’s concerned she’s never been anything else.”

My head was spinning as I tried to comprehend it. I thought back over the years, all the times I marvelled at how she seemed to adapt to the role of a young teen. She never once reminded me of my cousin, or my human dad. Except those rare occasions when she did, and when that happened it was like night and day. Like her whole personality changed.

I hadn’t seen that happen in years, the last time was when she wanted to say goodbye to her human daughters. I remembered how she shifted into cousin/mom mode, how her personality and demeanour switched to that sad lonely old woman for a few minutes.

And decades before that, way back when she was the wild party-girl college student, there were a couple times she shifted into dad-mode. For those brief occasions she was my quiet reserved accountant dad.

Suddenly I understood, those shifts weren’t Elise just changing her act. If Kelly was right then she was actually shifting from one personality to another. She was literally three different people. My little girl’s body was also home to my human dad and my human cousin.

I finally sighed, “So what do we do? Is there something we can do to help her?”

Kelly replied, “Right now the best thing you can do is don’t treat her any differently. She’s your little girl and she needs you to be her mom. Now more than ever because as shocked as you are, it’s hitting her so much worse. She didn’t know this Tegan, she’s only just starting to understand it now herself. And like I said earlier, do not treat her as if she’s your cousin, because she isn’t. Listen to her when she tells you who and what she is.”

“And Tegan?” Kelly added with a warning tone in her voice. “Forget about setting her up with Colin. That’s not going to happen. Right now I’m not even sure it’s a good idea to take her to the queen’s ball.”

“Understood,” I said with a quick nodd as I got to my feet. “I need to see her.”

“Good,” Kelly said. “Maybe don’t bring any of this up with her Tegan? It’s ok to talk about it if she wants to, if she brings it up, but don’t push her. Just be there for her.”

I nodded again, “Of course. Thanks Kelly.”

=::= Elise’s PoV =::=

I was laying on my bed again, just staring at the ceiling. I was alone now, Willow left after I said I wasn’t ready to talk with her yet. Now it was just me, alone with the strange thoughts in my head.

Something felt really wrong about laying there talking to myself. That’s what troubled people did, they talked to themselves. And despite Kelly’s assurances that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was. That I was flawed or broken or worse.

And it scared me. I was scared what Willow thought of me, and I worried what Saoirse would think when she found out. Maybe they’d both stay away, they wouldn’t want to be friends with a strange troubled girl who talked to herself.

And I was scared what grams would do or what she’d say. She was nice and all, but she was really old-fashioned about a lot of stuff. I was scared how she’d react when she found out I was broken like this. Like maybe she’d want me hidden away, locked in a tower or something. Or maybe she’d banish me to Earth so I couldn’t be an embarrassment to her or the clann.

And part of me knew that wouldn’t happen. I knew grams wouldn’t do that, and more to the point I knew my mom wouldn’t let that happen. But I couldn’t shake the fear. What if mom freaked out too? What if she didn’t want to be my mom anymore? I wasn’t sure if adoptions could be reversed but I was scared she might try and do that.

“Why is this happening to me?” I asked in a frightened whisper.

/I don’t know./

It was her again, the human woman who talked and thought in English.

/I only know it’s always been this way./

I shook my head slowly, I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew she was right. Those memories that felt strange and wrong, the random facts I knew but couldn’t explain how I knew them, it all fit. And worse, I knew why it fit. I knew the human lady was right. And I knew Kelly was right. I remembered that stuff, even if they weren’t my memories.

“Why do you answer in English, when I’m talking in Fae?” I asked, even though I already knew that answer too.

/I’m human,/ she replied. /I never learned to speak Fae, you did./

“Well that doesn’t make any sense,” I stated. “If you can’t speak Fae how do you understand my questions?”

/We’re in the same head, we can hear each other’s thoughts even before they’re put into words. It doesn’t matter what language either of us use, we’ll always know what the other is saying./

I sighed, “Mom’s going to think we’re troubled. Grams is going to want to get rid of us.”

A moment later I blushed when I realized what I just said, and quickly corrected myself. “They’ll think I’m troubled. They’ll want to get rid of me.”

/No they won’t. Tegan would never do that, she’d never let anyone hurt you./

I still worried about it anyways as I lay there staring at the ceiling until there was a knock at my door. Mom called through the door, “Elise? Can I come in?”

There was another wave of fear through me, but I knew I had to see her. If she was going to be mad at me, I wanted to get it over with. I replied nervously, “Ok.”

Mom slipped in and closed the door behind her. She moved to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.

I saw the worry in her expression, but along with that was the love. And I knew right away she’d never send me away or abandon me.

Mom took a deep breath then said softly, “Elise honey, I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I’m really sorry for what I asked you to do. I never wanted that in the first place but my mother was… Well, let’s just say she has some archaic ideas now and then, and I let her convince me to go along with one of them. Anyways, that’s not important.”

She leaned closer and pulled me into a hug, “I love you and I’m sorry I upset you earlier. I’m sorry I said those other things.”

I hugged her back and whispered, “Thanks mom.”

After a few moments she straightened up again. She still looked worried, but she acted like she didn’t know what to do or say.

I gulped and asked, “I guess Kelly told you all the stuff me and her talked about?”

Mom shook her head, “Kelly told me a few things but I’m sure she didn’t tell me everything.”

Tears were starting to burn in my eyes as I asked, “She told you I’m broken…troubled…flawed…”

Mom pulled me into another hug and this time she didn’t let go. “Kelly would never say anything like that hon, and even if she did I’d never believe it. She told me you’re going through a lot right now, and that maybe there’s some stuff that’s been going on with you for a long time that we never knew about. Whatever it is, I’m here for you and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

“Thanks mom,” I said as I hugged her back, and the tears that were threatening started to flow down my face again.

We held each other like that for a few moments, then without letting go mom asked quietly “Is there anything I can do for you right now?”

That lady’s voice spoke up in my head again, thinking English like always.

/Would you please ask her to fix my picture frames? The power cells are drained./

I bit my lip as I shuddered slightly, and Mom held me a little tighter.

It took me a few seconds to work up the courage to say something, but I finally whispered to mom “I… She wants me to ask you to fix her pictures? She says the power cells are dead.”

Mom was quiet for a few moments, and I started to worry she was upset or she was going to start freaking out or something. She kept holding me though, and after another minute she finally asked “Where are they?”

I didn’t actually know where they were but as soon as I thought that I saw an image of them in the drawer of my bedside table.

After a few more seconds I forced myself to let go of mom. I leaned over the side of the bed and pulled open the drawer then started digging around under the books and random junk we’d accumulated in there. I felt a shock go through me and my eyes filled with tears again as I realized I didn’t recognize half the stuff in there.

This drawer was next to my bed, I slept beside it every night for years, but it was full of other people’s stuff and I never even noticed before.

There were books I didn’t know, sheets of parchment with writing that wasn’t mine, random knickknacks, and a couple things that scared me even more. I was too old to play with dolls, I didn’t even own one, there was no way I’d have one in my bedside table. And there was literally no possible way for me to get a gun on Earth, let alone here on Otherworld. I had to be imagining that stuff, and I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my mind before they could upset me any more than I already was.

I found the three flat plastic rectangles down at the bottom and I focused on those as I carefully pulled them out. I quickly slid the drawer closed again, then turned and set the frames on the bed beside me. I spread them out so they were all side-by-side on the blankets.

Mom looked at them and sighed, “I should have thought to get you a solar charging panel or something. I can recharge them directly with magic, but next time I’m on Earth I’ll pick up a charger for you.”

I watched as she spread her hands out over the three panels. Her eyes flared briefly, and all three picture frames flickered back to life. I only vaguely recognized the faces that appeared on the panels but somewhere inside me I felt a surge of joy and gratitude, mixed with some bittersweet sadness.

/Please tell her thank you,/ the human Elise said to me. /And thank you for asking her to do this for me./

I found myself wiping away a few more tears as I whispered, “You’re welcome.”

Then I put the frames back in the drawer for now, and finally told mom “Um… She said to say thank you.”

Mom gave me a warm smile and pulled me into another hug. “You’re both welcome hon. I mean that. I love you, all of you.”

There was another wave of tears but I smiled and sniffed as I replied, “Thanks mom. We love you too.”

PurpleCatGirl

Tegan, Kelly, Keira are the sort of loving supportive family we wish everyone could have. And like we said last time, Elise’s journey of self-discovery & acceptance is something that can take weeks, months, even years in real life. She’s way ahead of the game getting as far as she did in a single afternoon, and with the kind of love & support she has she’s going to be ok.

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