A Devil May Cry Fanfic - Chapter 162 filler ark

Patty ended up leaving before Nero showed up he looked terrified like he’d just seen a ghost

“You ok?”

My little Cerberus hopped off my lap to check on Nero

“Why the fuck are you asking me that?! Idiot your the one I’m panicked about you were no where to be found and my place looks like something out of an insane asylum horror flick! What happened?!”

Cerberus made a little yip and then a little grrr at Nero

“Shit sorry lil buddy…”

*Nero handed him a treat out of his pocket*

“To be honest Nero I can’t remember anything but the call and then Vergil caught me before I tripped over the guard rail”

(I ain’t bringing up the fact his dad kissed me…it isn’t a lie but I just wanna ignore the whole thing)

“you almost died and you can’t remember shit ok how should I attach a go pro to you since your a walking target who can’t remember her attacker?”

“Idk ask nico but I’d rather get gps then a go pro what if I gotta pee”

“Lily everyone pees but yeah invasion of privacy but still I can’t have anyone else leaving me alright? Where’s ver- I mean Dad”

“Don’t know I’ve just been chilling with my buddy and watching anime cuz shit hit the fan”

“…v’s gone to I swear to god if they’re fighting again”

“Not gonna lie if they do all the time there won’t be much of red grave left”

“Yeah true I’m having nico install a shit ton of servalince camera…what happened to your arms?”

“Don’t know when I came to my nails were missing and covered in blood plush my arms are brushed to heck and there’s a few cuts”

“…I swear if I still trusted priests I’d call one right now”

“Was he a pedo?”

“…i get what your guessing but no demon shit”

“Ooo demon priest cult”

“Yes”

(I have no idea what she’s imagining but that’s three solid points)

Just then v came back

“I found the strip club”

*lily stares at v while Nero goes full Dante and doesn’t seem as panicked as before*

“Aw shit which way do u swing?”

“I’m straight as a knife but that’s not a finding from the strip club”

*nero winks*

Griffin flaps in and lands on v’s arm

“I messed with a crime scene hahaaa”

“Son don’t be proud of setting a dead body on fire”

“He set a dead stripper on fire?”

“An electrical fire”

“He’s proud of bad things I don’t approve of it. I think he’s the physical embodiment of your fathers late madness with the mundus incident. I still don’t know what the good boys are…”

“…was my dad a fun guy when he went off his rocker?”

“Nope but his head sure was~”

*Shadow has joined in on the snuggle session with lily and Cerberus*

lily looks like she’s in heaven

“Therapy pets are great I can feel the bad stuff going faaaar away”

“Griffin look at your brother see be a good b-…did u just shit on me?”

*nero breaks out laughing*

“Don’t encourage him!”

*griffon steals v’s cane and starts flying around taunting v*

During this chaos lady and trish came in

“Hey babe should we help him?”

Lady shrugs she thought lily got herself in some deep shit a few seconds after finding out Dantes stuck in hell but to her it looks like nothing major has happened. But seeing Neros place a few minutes ago she knows that’s not the cash.

“Leave em be I think we should just set up some wards and be on our way”

“…That’s fine and dandy but to be fair I only know the basic hexes and good luck charms”

“…then we got a problem I thought you knew witch craft”

“I do but I don’t know a lot…”

“You know how your kinda actrected to souls not the whole thing when picking a lover…”

“…where you going with this?”

“…you don’t think vergils never mind”

“…oh ooo dam Nero get the chastity belt Lily’s ass is in danger”

*Lady steps on Trish’s foot*

“…can’t you be suddle?”

“I legit don’t get what that is”

“Don’t worry sweetie”

*ominous aura eminenting from lady*

*Nero just picked lily up and dragged her to another room*

“Bro I’m a adult”

“Don’t matter still kinda got kyire brain”

“I’m not ginger”

“I mean that literally”

“…what’s that mean?”

“Your still sweet and I don’t wanna mess you up cuz he’d kill me”

“…:3awww thank chu”

*nero gives her head pets*

“I hope Griffin doesn’t shit on the floor trying to piss off v I don’t wanna clean it up”

“Noted”

(I don’t wanna but I’ll do it if it comes to that)

*They both here gunshots from the other room and followed by all the dam pets freakin out*

“Nero the furr baby’s!”

“Easy you got real ones”

*holding her back*

*lily gasps*

“Furr baby’s are real baby’s to!”

“Kay but stil-”

“Mary don’t make out with my mom and mother how dare you cheat on dad he’s missing!”

*lily and Nero look at each other*

“That’s wher-”

“Nero I’ll stab you if you finish that sentence let me at least pretend that the in laws are better then my fam”

“….Kay but with what though your unarmed and can’t use your powers”

“I’ll bite chu!”

“…you angry little chipmunk aww”

*small grr’s at Nero*

Meanwhile

“Please refren from guns in the vacinity of the demon baby’s my sons are walking death traps”

“I can’t die not sure bout mom and Mary lot could have happened to them since I left”

“I ain’t no ones mama!!!”

“Stop calling me Mary!!!!”

“I thought she was the designated group mom….”

“I am but I hate it when they mistake me for Eva”

“So you are mama”

“Yes but no but also grand baby’s”

*V exe stopped working.*

V stares into the void while the three bickered which they are all unaware they just accidentally gave him an existential crisis.

*thud*

“I want what he’s having”

“Daughter of arkham did you fornicate with my mother”

“Bitch she ain’t your mommy! Wait wait did you trap your brother in hell to steal his life?”

“…no but that’s an amazing plan Mary”

“Shit forget what I said you evil baby!”

“Did the frilly kid tell you about the playground incident?”

“Yes”

“Fuck”

“That just proves you are and will always be a evil baby get away from our adoptive brats and my tiny sister in law right now I have a grande!”

“Babe what?!”

“I have no fear for the only thing that can kill me is my brother and maybe my spawn….and that thing on the ground”

*V laying on the ground having a existential crisis he raised his arm up with the finger then let’s his arm fall back to the floor*

“..I’ll set all the books on fire”

“You bitch you wouldn’t”

“Babe get the fire”

*trish opens a lighter*

“I have fire now what also babe nico made me a lighter outta a perfume roll on”

“Oooo I want one”

“After we torment this one cuz I’m no Eva”

“….-.- you petty demon whore”

“Da fuck you call my wife?”

“Your married to my mothers clone?! Oh no lesbians everywhere jk I don’t care I only care that she looks exactly like my mother”

“He learned a acronym in proud”

“Trish hon this is feeding his confusion”

“I can’t not group mom that’s my thing! Just no Eva”

“…Kay so burn books or and here’s where we try to talk shit out…how about you give him a three month period before you start making out with your kids best friend”

“….two months”

“Three you tried to kill me and Dante and the mortal realm”

“Fine…-.-”

“Babe can I burn something it’s already on”

“….go set some news paper on fire no one likes that shit”

“No set the recycling on fire”

*both*

“You read that shit?”

Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click www.novelhall.com for visiting.

“Yes-.- actually no the spawn likes the comics”

“He’s dading! I’ll go burn trash like a sexy hobo”

“I’ll get marshmallows”

*Vergil kicks floor V*

“Burnt mellow there’s mini you’s to consume”

“….that burn or joke was terrible let me have my mental breakdown in peace I blame you for this!”

“…I don’t miss those”

*shadow licks v’s face*

Meanwhile

“Nero I smell hobo fire are there hobos on the sidewalk?”

“How we’re inside?”

“I don’t know honestly I’m not using any powers but sometimes my sensitive gets outta wack”

“Neat Ima be a man and scare some homeless people off your property”

“Thanks bro give them food maybe they’ll be nice and leave!”

“I was gonna threaten em with violence but that’s much nicer…weres the never mind I’ll grab leftovers from the fridge”