A False Confession - Chapter 18

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the familiar ceiling of the barracks. For some reason, my subconscious expected to see a sterile white ceiling, but instead I came across something that was familiar to my eyes, so I felt a bit taken aback.

…..Wait. I’m sure I saw the barracks burn down?

I sat up in a flash. Since I just woke up, I hadn’t yet shaken off a dreamy haze, but I quickly looked around and tried to take in my surroundings.

The ceiling itself is familiar because everyone uses the same canopies, but the inside structure of the barracks felt strange. It’s more narrow than the previous tent, it’s… it’s like a barracks built for only two people?

I could see another bed on the other side of mine, but they’re the only two beds inside. There’s also a small furnace, crackling in the middle of the barracks. I stared at the hearth that was filling the tent with warmth and slowly tried to grasp the situation.

However, I was really only blinking in a daze since I couldn’t understand anything in my groggy state, when the flap at the entrance was lifted and Lily entered. She was looking at the ground as she walked in, so she cried out in surprise when our eyes met.

“Re—Renée!”

Lily reached my bed in no time and grabbed my arm. She ran so fast that a light breeze blew over me.

“Are you okay? Doesn’t your head hurt? And your insides as well? Do you need to vomit, by any chance?” Not able to answer her rushing questions, I just blinked my eyes vacantly and called out to her.

“….. Lily.”

My voice cracked, coming out low. Lily stuttered, fumbling at the table behind her.

“Oh. Water, I’ll get you some water.”

She moved around without hesitation, so it was only then that I realized that this must be a barracks given only to me and Lily. Feeling dazed, I tilted my head slightly as I accepted the cup she offered me.

“Lily. That is, about the Vice General…?”

“Is that the first thing you’re asking about as soon as you wake up? He’s fine. Oh, of course, he needs to be careful for a few more days, but all his fatal injuries are healed.”

“Ah…what a relief.”

“It’s more than a relief, it’s a ‘miracle.’”

The word “miracle” was so embarrassing and unexpected that my eyes widened in surprise, so Lily sat down on the edge of my bed and reiterated.

“Yes, it was a miracle.” Lily looked away with a distant gaze, as if she had lost her sense of reality. She patted the back of my hand and opened her mouth.

Her story that followed was a bit unrealistic. She said that when the whole camp was in turmoil from the surprise attack, a white light spread throughout the camp, so blinding that it was as if everyone had been blindfolded. And when it faded away….. all the wounded had been healed.

Blood stopped pouring, wounds were closed up, and broken bones had reattached. The cold rain shower stopped and all the dark clouds disappeared.

They could only conclude that it was a miracle since there was no believable way to explain it.

The priests had fallen down on their knees in prayer, and the paladins likewise were left in awe and knelt in admiration before me. In such a situation, Cabel was caught in the middle since he had supported me when I fell, so he watched Tirak and the people around him with a stony face. In the end, he held me tightly and carried me to his barracks, which was the strongest and safest.

After that, everyone quickly cleared up the situation. They were all left in a bit of a trance after seeing something so unreal. Many had goosebumps, believing it all to be a dream, and some of the priests even shed tears.

After the cleanup was over, we moved a bit and set up camp in a new place. The barracks were also newly assembled, and only Lily and I were given separate barracks. Since I had lost my mind after exhausting all of my energy, Lily has been taking care of me for the past two days….

“…..What? Two days?”

While listening to Lily quietly, I was shocked upon hearing that two days have passed. I was so bewildered that I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking, but Lily responded that it was more strange that it had taken only two days, even though she had exerted a lot of energy to heal all of my wounds.

I nodded slowly as the memories gradually came back to me, recalling what a truly incredible moment it was.

And….. really, it’s what I want to believe to be true more than anything else.

Even though it feels like it had all been a dream, the feeling of my body reaching its limitations and being demolished by them was all too clear to me. But, it still wasn’t realistic enough for me to call it a “miracle.”

Even Lily couldn’t hide her surprise and excitement, but seeing her like that, I just felt blank.

I remember seeing Tirak’s wounds heal instantaneously, but I wasn’t confident that I hadn’t imagined the whole thing, because the treatments I’ve done so far never had that kind of potency…

But it was all real.

Lily then got up, saying that this isn’t the time to discuss what had happened since I’ve just woken up, and that she’d go to inform the commander first.

She finally left the barracks after repeating several times that I should lie still and rest since we couldn’t be sure of my body’s true condition.

I watched Lily’s back as she walked away, and after making sure that her footsteps had receded completely, I got up carefully. She had insisted that I need to stay still, but it felt so stuffy inside the barracks, so I wanted to get some air.

No, if I was being honest… I really wanted to make sure that what Lily said is true.

Walking through the entrance of the tent, the view that greeted me was a bit strange. I was told that the camp had been relocated, so I was expecting the change in surroundings, but what I didn’t expect was the familiar sight of several clean barracks that unfolded before me as I walked.

I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes, so I bit my lip hard and walked forward.

I paused to give my legs a break since they had been static for two days, but fortunately I was able to walk without difficulty. Come to think of it, my leg had also been wounded by an arrow, but it was perfectly fine now.

There wasn’t even a scar left behind. Had I healed myself inadvertently or did Lily heal my leg afterwards?

I suddenly recalled that Lily had healed me the last time I was injured as well. I was then reminded of a time way before that, when we were young and would practice our healing powers on each other for minor injuries.

Then one day, I became worried that in our mischievous play we might begin to intentionally hurt ourselves.*

{tl/n*: This part is a little unclear since pronoun usage is often dropped in Korean. I’m unsure if she means whether Lily or herself might intentionally hurt each other or themselves, so I just made it vague.}

When I recalled my childhood memories of the temple, I was overwhelmed by a feeling I couldn’t name. But it didn’t become tears, it just spread thin and blanketed over me, calming my mood like a kind of sadness….. I want to go back.

I was brought back to the present when I ran into a priest of Abnel. I wasn’t sure whether or not the barracks in front of me was newly assigned to the priests, but the one coming out now was none other than Priest Varsi, who became abashed as soon as he saw me.

In the past, he kept taking my bread and I gave him the ridiculous nickname of Babaljang*, but now any feeling of inferiority from that time has been erased, and he approached me with a feeling that could only be described as awe.

{tl/n*: I could find no translation for Babaljang and my Korean friends didn’t know either. So if any of you happen to know feel free to correct me lol. Lit: 바발장}

His lips opened and closed a couple of times. I couldn’t handle the awkwardness so I said hello first just to try and brush past his discomfort.

His hands shook as if my greeting shocked him, then he suddenly bowed low to me. This time I was the one discomforted by his expression of deep respect as he placed one hand over his heart.

“…..Thank you.”

In fact, it’s already been three weeks since the bread incident, and ever since then we chose to cooperate rather than be openly discordant, but…I really can’t say anything when he thanks me this way.

Rather than standing still and staring at him in confusion, I found myself backing away and denying any need for thanks. But that wasn’t the end of the embarrassing situations in store for me today.

Everyone I passed by greeted me with similar expressions of gratitude. Not only that, but even those who were too far away still found me and bowed their heads deeply to me.

The awe and wonderment that showed on their faces made me so uncomfortable that my legs started backpedaling on their own accord.

“Priestess.”

As I tried to escape between the barracks and return to my tent, I suddenly heard a familiar voice, quickly followed by Lily’s cry calling out my name. She appeared to be looking for me with him.

As I turned around, I saw Elviniraz taking large strides toward me. He looked down at me for a moment with a stiff face, and asked in a serious voice if I had come out because I was looking for Tirak.

“Sir Tirak is resting in the barracks, so you don’t need to worry. The Priestess’s condition is more important than that.”

Elvin’s ensuing string of concerns felt foreign to me. He said that my body was in a precarious state because I had expended all of my energy that day. He stressed that I had to rest more since I had suffered from a high fever for two days.

I had been standing still as a statue during all this time, only blinking my eyes. Elvin finally fell into silence for a while and looked back at me with a strange expression… when he made an unexpected offer.

“Wait, would you like to take a walk together?”

“Excuse me? Commander, didn’t you just say that Renée should rest?”

Lily, who always maintained a calm facade externally, had been caught off guard and let some anger slip into her voice. Elvin just gave her an awkward smile and assured her again that it would be for only a minute. He even added that I seemed to be feeling stuffy, so some fresh air would be the best remedy.

Eventually, Lily gave in and entered the barracks first, and I suddenly found myself walking behind the base camp with Elvin.

To my surprise, Elvin seemed to have picked up on my state of confusion and genially started to explain what had happened with a light smile on his face. As always, the smile that appeared on his handsome face was nice to look at, but even this usual remedy had minimal effect this time.

“Ever since that day, whenever the paladins gather they talk about you, Priestess. They say they feel like we were truly blessed by God, and that the miracle will never be forgotten.”

“Ah…..like that, it’s so embarrassing to hear.”

“It’s not an exaggeration. They’re really just stating the facts. What can we call a ‘miracle,’ if not that moment?”

He kept pouring out compliments as if he was trying to make me feel better. He said that he will never forget the glorious light that burst forth in the midst of that hopeless situation…

He told me that some of the knights even added the title of “Saintess” to my name. I reflexively winced at that word, making Elviniraz burst into light laughter.

When we reached the end of the camp, Elvin invited me to sit next to him. I hesitated for a moment as I watched him sit down on a large fallen log, even laying his handkerchief for me. Not being able to refuse, I sat next to him and looked around for a moment.

There was no one nearby, only a forest of grass lay before us. Remembering how Vios’s soldiers had emerged from the tall grass during the surprise attack that day, a new wave of relief washed over me, feeling grateful for the present peace.

Meanwhile, Elviniraz was still talking about that “miracle.” He said that when the war ends and we return to the empire, the incident must be fully addressed.

In fact, I’d already known about the title. Lily had mentioned it after I woke up, and when I was walking around the campground, I heard some soldiers address me as “Saintess,” as they bowed deeply to me.

Since Abnel is the state religion, a priest usually must belong to it in order to be officially recognized as a “Saint.” But surprisingly, the priests of Abnel weren’t objecting to the fact that they were addressing me, who belonged to the comparatively tiny temple of El Nur, with such a holy title.

…..And I, I hated it so much.

“…..I’m nothing like a saint.”