A False Confession - Chapter 25

I had a nightmare.

A very terrifying nightmare where the improbable happened and I decided to confess, but to the wrong person, after just one drink.

Impossible. With how much alcohol I’ve consumed in this body so far, I can’t get drunk with just one glass. And even if I did get drunk, how could I mistake those two people like that?

So it was a dream. It had to be a dream.

“……”

But then, why is the image of that time stuck in my mind so clearly? Tragically, every moment is so vivid in my memory. In my head, the scene keeps replaying with Beethoven’s Symphony of Fate in the background.

At the first light of dawn, my eyes snapped open. Startled, I jumped out of bed and looked around, and I could see Lily sleeping on the other side of me.

So, in actuality, I haven’t gone hiking yet, that dinner never happened, and those memories must be a very horrible nightmare.

And yet, I have a terrible headache, and the aroma of alcohol is lingering around the tip of my nose. The aftereffects of that single drink can still be felt somehow.

I staggered out of bed, my body shaky and uneven. As I gripped my aching head, I downed several glasses of the lukewarm water in the barracks.

Still, I couldn’t come to my senses. Or rather, I didn’t want to accept the reality of it all. I really felt fine now beyond the hangover aches and pains. I fumbled my way out of the barracks, muttering to myself that the cold wind would really sober me up.

The early autumn mornings were really cold, and it could be felt even more so now that there was a waterfall nearby. However, without a single thought of putting on a coat, I continued walking a bit further.

To the very place where I made the wrong confession.

Naturally, there was no one around the camp this morning. Even the sentries went inside after the sun came out, so only the occasional sound of the waterfall could be heard in the quiet stillness.

Yesterday, everything had been hidden in the shade and nothing could be seen, but now that sunlight is gradually settling into the space, visibility has become clearer.

“Ha.”

…It’s crazy. No way. As I sighed, a curse was about to slip out, so I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. Damn it. I can’t speak without swearing.

I pounded the tree next to me with my fist, crying out in pain as my hand began to throb. It sounds absurd, but now I have to admit the fact that I confessed to the wrong person.

But, but why?

Why Cabel, of all people?

After leaving for the campaign, I suppose we did become closer in our own way. But Cabel is first and foremost a very intimidating person to me.

Of course, it’s true that he’s a “demon of the battlefield,” as the rumors that are spread throughout the empire say. He literally wipes out the enemy through sheer power, and he constantly exudes a devastation that makes him difficult to approach, but I know that he’s not really as monstrous as the rumors portray him to be.

Sometimes he frowns a little at light jokes or banter that he doesn’t seem to get, but he never gets angry at anyone, and I know from personal experience that he secretly takes care of the people around him, like he did for me on that dreary day.

However, regardless, he’s just so… he’s such an extraordinary person.

He is a man who will soon become a duke.

Can I just say to such a person, ‘Ahaha, I confessed by mistake only because I was drunk!’ No, isn’t he probably offended by my confession in the first place?

My shoulders trembled, either because of the cold or because of fear. Oh, no. Still, I think it’s best for me to confess that it was a misunderstanding sooner rather than later.

Because when I stuttered out that confession, he answered that he didn’t understand, and then I even collapsed on him with the smell of alcohol all over me, so surely he must know that I wasn’t thinking straight.

So, if I quickly admit to my mistake, he’ll respond that he already knew from the beginning. If everything goes well, we can move on as if nothing happened. If something goes wrong, it may become a bit awkward until we get back…maybe he won’t come to the temple anymore after that, either…

It’d be a shame to lose the temple’s cash cow in such a way, but I’ll earn 300 gold from this expedition, and a special reward may even be coming my way as Elvin said, so that should soften the blow.

So, I mean, I was planning to go find Cabel a little later and apologize, but… why do I see him in front of me right now?

Hu-uk, I sucked in my breath and immediately hid myself behind the tree. What the hell, why is he wandering around outside at the break of dawn?!

Thinking up to this point, I was startled that the answer came to me almost immediately: his insomnia must be keeping him up again. Goddamn it, there’s an urgent need for a cure for insomnia right away.

I was resting my back against the tree, trying to calm my startled heart, but I could no longer hear the footsteps behind me.

Did he go somewhere else? He didn’t see me, did he? With a glimmer of hope, I leaned my head out to see where he was, but that hope was instantly dashed.

Immediately our eyes met. Cabel was right next to the tree, watching my antics. Hik, hik. I’d completely overlooked the fact that he has risen to the level of a master and is basically a human-body sensor.

As he looked down at me, his dark shadow completely enveloped me. Most nights it appears as though he sleeps only briefly for an hour or two, but today he looks even more exhausted, as if he couldn’t sleep at all.

And as tired as he appeared, his face was twice as pale and cold to match it. And I was twice as terrified.

So I smiled very awkwardly and took a step back, his gaze following along. Cabel stood by the tree and continued to watch me, so I had to muster up the courage to take another step back, but his voice interrupted me and came out frighteningly low.

“……yesterday.”

Oh, no. This can’t be happening! I’m not ready yet!* My shoulders tightened in suspense, but Cabel continued without changing his tone.

(*tl/n: literally: “I haven’t prepared my heart yet!” lol)

“Do you remember what you said yesterday?”

For a moment, I wanted to deny remembering anything, but then my eyes fell on the sword that hung at his side. Even though I knew he wasn’t the kind of person from the rumors, I panicked and nodded in concession.

Dammit, what good is the light of dawn if it’s only drawing attention to his sword?

“I-I remember!”

“……Then why did you hide just now?”

It seemed like you were avoiding something.* For some reason, his tone seemed offended, so I was speechless for a moment. Why is this conversation happening right now, when he’s clearly cranky from not sleeping?

[tl/n*: Cabel must have said this line aloud. Occasionally the author excludes quotation marks on what must be dialogue, so your guess is as good as mine.]

Somehow, I got the feeling that the moment I say the wrong thing, everything will be over. Starting with my life.

“That is……I-I was ashamed… .”

I was going to say that I was embarrassed, but as I stuttered, ‘shame’ came out instead. Oh no. It’s too disgraceful. I became shy in my embarrassment and just wanted to hide anywhere but here. I couldn’t bear to look him in the face, so I lowered my head.

The silence deepened. I could occasionally hear birds chirping in the early morning, and as time stretched on and I continued staring at the ground, I thought about what an ideal place this would be to tunnel into and disappear.

Since we were near the waterfall, the morning mist was thick, and the air was so cold that I got goosebumps.

At least, I was hoping it was the cold and not the sense of a mortal life reaching its end… At that moment, I heard his voice.

“Do you really remember what you said yesterday?”

“……I confessed in front of the Du—I mean, Sir Knight….”

His voice was so low that I was convinced it could only be conveying his displeasure towards my confession. So I quickly scripted out an apology to him in my head.

‘Actually, I was so out-of-my-mind drunk that I was spewing nonsense.’ When I was contemplating whether or not to reveal that it was a confession meant for someone else, he said:

“Cabel.”

…at such an out-of-the-blue remark, I widened my eyes and looked up at him. Why is he suddenly saying his own name?

“……What?”

“From now on, don’t attach strange titles to me. Call me by my name.”

His perpetually-hardened lips slowly rose, finally drawing into a smile. It was a very sweet smile.

……Oh? No, wa-wait a minute. I don’t understand this sudden change of situation, his sweet voice lingering in my ears, a rare smile flickering before my eyes. Right now…is Cabel really smiling in front of me?

And, so softly?

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a smile from Cabel. Until now, I’ve only received short sneers or harsh gazes. This is the first time that those cold eyes have softened.

No, I suppose his expression has relaxed every now and then when he’s just waking up, but, but now….. that is, he’s so handso—aak, no, that’s not it!

A mess ensued in my mind. I bowed my head again, ashamed that despite the current circumstances, I still could only think about how handsome he is. I can’t even imagine how I look now.

And as I stood there shaking, Cabel, thinking that I was crying, grabbed my shoulder. Even his touch was warm.

“Renée.”

I couldn’t believe that gentle voice was his.

He brought his hand closer, attempting to lift my face. Screaming internally, I shook my head slightly. It was a small movement, but he flinched and withdrew his hand.

Then, just as I thought it was going to be okay, I heard his voice next to me. Cabel leaned his upper body forward, bringing his face closer to mine. Th-this is crazy.

“For how long do you plan on hiding your face from me?”

His voice was so soothingly sweet, he must have really thought I was crying. Exactly how sweet? So sweet that he would kill me right away if he finds out the confession was false.

Ah.

[tl/n*: don’t mind me, I’m just popping in like I haven’t been MIA for 2 years, hah. Life and ADHD got the better of me for a while, but for now this novel has my attention again. I do apologize to those of you who’ve enjoyed this story as well, but inconsistency is unfortunately in my nature. I won’t make any false promises beyond I’ll do my best for now, and I’ll keep posting whatever I do translate, if anyone’s still interested in this story lol. Sorry and thanks again~ ]

[P.S: I *am* still awaiting the day that I’ll be contacted to cease and desist lol. So there may or may not be changes to my publishing method]