A Knight Who Eternally Regresses - Chapter 135

“Here.”

Rem started, not caring who was watching.

Right in front of the barracks, not in a corner or out of sight, but in the middle of everything.

Grabbing Encrid’s wrist, Rem placed it over his own heart and twisted his lips.

What should he say?

Even the smile had a playful mischief to it.

Then, he began to whisper to Encrid.

It was quiet enough that only someone trained by Jaxon in keen hearing could catch it.

Speaking softly like this, conveying what he wanted to say, was a skill in itself.

 

Ignoring the stares around them, it seemed like he was determined to do this.

 

“What you need is faith, and then you explode the heart. If the Heart of the Beast is ripe, try bursting the heart just enough so it doesn’t shatter.”

Rem spoke only the necessary words, saying nothing about the ritualistic effect that was taking place.

Encrid followed his instructions.

If he hadn’t trusted Rem in the first place, he wouldn’t have attached the Heart of the Beast to his body.

Rem found that quite satisfactory.

There was sincerity in Encrid’s attitude, responses, and actions.

He always put in his best effort.

However, doing it the same way this time would ruin everything.

“Take it slow.”

Rem’s warning was like a sharp blade. There was an unprecedented seriousness in his tone.

A seriousness that was entirely different from his playful mischief.

It made a strong impression on Encrid.

It seemed to imply just how dangerous this was.

So, he slowed his heartbeat.

But could he really control his heart at will?

At that moment, he began to feel Rem’s heartbeat through his palm.

Thump, thump! It was explosive. The energy within the heart seemed to transfer clearly to Encrid’s hand.

“Do the same. Only about half of that.”

So, this was it. Encrid waited for that sensation—the sensation of making his heart beat.

It couldn’t be explained with words. It couldn’t be expressed through actions.

It was simply something Rem demonstrated and passed on with his body.

It was purely in the realm of intuition.

And so…

“This might just be my needless worry.”

Rem muttered.

Should he consider this obvious?

“Just one more time.”

Encrid said.

Then, Encrid and Rem stood still, their palms over each other’s hearts.

Until the sun passed its zenith and began to dip.

“I’m really curious, do you sometimes do this on purpose, or is it just my imagination?”

“Hmm.”

Encrid let out a short groan.

“I agree with that.”

Ragna nodded in agreement.

“I can’t deny that either, crazy brother.”

“Agreed.”

Audin and Jaxon also nodded.

It felt a bit unfair to say it was intentional.

“Is it that you can do it but aren’t doing it, or is it that you can’t?”

Rem asked seriously, and Encrid responded with the same seriousness.

“Yeah.”

“Well, then, let’s do it. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

It was already evening.

Thanks to the Battalion Commander’s and surrounding soldiers’ consideration, they weren’t even assigned meal duty. They were excused from their usual tasks.

So they could continue focusing on training and practice.

However, Encrid hadn’t made any real progress. Not even a small step forward. At least, that’s what Rem thought.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing now? Are you teasing me?”

“Come on, do it. Now, go ahead.”

Encrid kept hearing similar words from Rem.

He couldn’t grasp the concept at all. Was that a problem?

No, it wasn’t.

It wasn’t like he had ever mastered a technique in one go before.

There was a time when he felt something like talent while training his left hand day after day.

As if some talent had descended upon him.

In that moment, he could feel something with his body.

The moment when his skill with his left hand became instinctive, that brief time when exhilaration filled him.

Does he miss that moment?

Not at all, genuinely, not at all.

He just kept repeating and pondering over and over.

He was busy thinking.

“The Battalion Commander is calling for you.”

It was another day spent in constant contemplation, struggling to ripen the Heart of the Beast and make it burst, but to no avail.

It was the third day after establishing the camp.

Finally, the Battalion Commander called for Encrid.

When it came to commendations on the battlefield, it seemed like he would call immediately.

Now, it seemed things had settled down.

According to Krais, this was to be expected.

He said that Marcus was probably very anxious while moving the camp and establishing a new base.

When asked why, Krais gave a lengthy explanation.

To summarize, it was simple.

“If they know you’re just standing there, they’ll eventually ignore you, so you have to at least pretend to move so they can’t ignore you. If it were me… never mind.”

Krais seemed to have a thought but held back from speaking further.

Encrid didn’t push for more and continued on. If Krais wanted to share more, he would do so in his own time.

It was also time to respond to the highest commander’s summons.

The adjutant came personally to fetch him, and on the way to the barracks, the Fairy Company Commander joined them.

With silent, light steps, the Company Commander approached and spoke.

“When was our engagement again?”

Here we go again. Encrid found it hard to understand Fairy jokes.

“Let’s plan it for ten years from now.”

“Hmm, not bad. But I prefer younger humans to old ones.”

The meeting would only happen if Encrid had a preference for Fairies.

Although possessing an otherworldly beauty, she had a face that didn’t seem human enough to stir affection.

Between her thin, long eyelashes, her eyes sparkled like green gems, and her golden hair reflected the sunlight, giving her skin an almost radiant glow.

That’s what made her otherworldly beautiful.

“Shall we go?”

Encrid acknowledged his defeat. It could go on endlessly if they kept up this banter.

He felt it was a bit wasteful.

The Fairy Company Commander seemed to enjoy teasing him just this much.

Honestly, he didn’t find it particularly uncomfortable.

It was just who she was.

More sane than Rem, but still, perhaps even among Fairies, there were some who were a bit half-crazy.

“Let’s go.”

With the adjutant leading, the Fairy Company Commander on his left, Encrid entered the barracks.

“You’re here.”

Battalion Commander Marcus was there.

Having been through the battlefield, his beard had grown scruffy.

Seeing this, Encrid realized his own chin had become quite rough.

He thought to himself that he should shave when he got back and saluted.

He showed respect by pressing on his sword hilt and bowing his head.

“Alright.”

Marcus nodded slightly.

The three of them stood together.

“Bring some tea.”

At his command, three cups of tea were soon placed before them.

It wasn’t high-quality tea by any means, but being on the battlefield, having tea at all was a luxury.

“When I go into battle and can’t have good tea, I usually get annoyed, but this time, even this is satisfactory.”

Battalion Commander Marcus was the first to speak.

There was no place to sit, so they stood around the table used for strategizing and discussing tactics.

“What do you think about working properly under my command?”

He made the suggestion just as Encrid was taking a sip of his tea. The Fairy Company Commander remained silent.

Encrid looked at the Battalion Commander, contemplating how to respond, then decided against overthinking it.

Since when had he tried to flatter his superiors?

“I’ll decline.”

“Why? I think I’m a pretty solid leader.”

It wasn’t incorrect. When Encrid was told he was meeting the Battalion Commander, Krais had vaguely outlined the situation.

From why the meeting was delayed to what Marcus might say.

It almost seemed prophetic.

How could everything Krais predicted be so accurate?

“He’ll probably propose that you join his command. He might even call our Company Commander as well. Why? To formally acknowledge and nurture your potential. And why aim for command? Do you even need to ask?”

Krais had said this with a look that suggested he couldn’t believe Encrid didn’t understand.

Finally, when Encrid kept staring at him blankly, Krais had spoken in a bemused tone.

“What did you do with the Cross Guard?”

“I fought. Did some infiltration, set some fires, and gathered intelligence on the way back.”

“Even if you don’t know about Frog, what did you do behind the lines?”

“I fought. Killed the commander of a detachment that attacked the rear.”

“And at the front?”

“I fought, you were there, why are you asking?”

Krais had witnessed these events while following him around.

“The Battalion Commander knows.”

“Knows what?”

“He knows about all the fights you’ve been in. So, knowing that, how could he not want you?”

While it seemed he should have ambitions for Rem or others, Encrid quickly understood Krais’ point.

Rem and other platoon members were uncontrollable.

But he was a stable person.

The reason he hadn’t noticed earlier was obvious.

He had been preoccupied with trying to get the Heart of the Beast to beat anew.

He had poured all his energy into training and practice.

Thanks to Krais’ timely comments, he wasn’t caught off guard.

“It seems as I predicted.”

The Battalion Commander spoke, and Encrid, clearing his brief thoughts, replied.

“To some extent, yes.”

“Can I ask why you’re declining?”

If he explained his reason right away, would they make him leave without finishing his tea?

The warm tea was somewhat improving his mood.

He felt as if he had been solely focused on his heart for days and was now finally relaxing.

‘Now that I think about it, I’ve only just started to relax my shoulders.’

He wondered if he had tensed up again.

Has the pressure to learn become a chain binding him? A shackle preventing him from moving forward?

Clink.

He felt a sensation as if chains inside his mind were breaking and scattering.

It only lasted a few seconds, but Encrid felt he could speak with a much lighter heart than before.

He took another sip of tea.

Then, he looked up straight.

Even though he felt lighter, the words he was about to say were not light.

Marcus’s proposal was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed if one had ambitions in the military.

Especially for someone like Encrid, who started with nothing but a lowly soldier’s position.

Despite that, he prepared to decline.

“I have a dream.”

Something he held in his heart, no matter if others mocked him for it.

A dream he never forgot after picking up the sword.

A dream that had sprouted into reality, nourished by his burning desire.

He had spoken of it many times, but it never carried as much weight as it did now.

It had been stained by ridicule, torn by disdain, faded by sarcasm, and ultimately left in tatters. But now, the remnants clearly defined him.

Every day, they walked alongside him, showing that they were part of him.

“I want to become a Knight.”

So Encrid spoke.

At that moment, Marcus saw a vision.

A chill ran down his spine, and he saw a different scene behind Encrid.

A battlefield, a sword, something shining.

‘What is this?’

It was a sincere, wholehearted statement.

Not just a refusal, but the words of someone moving forward.

Marcus felt a similar emotion in his own chest, something he had given up on long ago.

What had his life been like?

He had once aspired to be a sword for the royal family.

What was his life like now?

Crunch.

Marcus ground his molars unconsciously. The muscles in his jaw tensed, and a headache throbbed in his head.

Seeing such a pure, radiant dream made him feel as if he was being questioned.

‘Do I really have the right to lead this man?’

Was his offer merely a sordid attempt to climb higher, to gain more power?

He lacked true loyalty.

He had no dream of higher aspirations.

It didn’t make sense to take in such a person if he was content with the status quo.

This brief realization caused Marcus to speak without thinking.

“Hah.”

A sigh escaped, laden with emotion.

The Fairy, known for her keen sensitivity, understood the meaning behind Marcus’s sigh.

‘From just a single word?’

The mind of a human was like waves stirred by a storm.

Unlike Fairies, who were consistent, humans were fickle, prone to change their decisions on a whim.

The mind of the man now called the Battalion Commander seemed to be in turmoil.

Like a small boat in a storm, tossed by waves and unable to find its direction.

And then…

“I will follow the path to becoming a Knight.”

With these words, Encrid saluted.

Marcus nodded reflexively.

Encrid stepped outside.

The Fairy Company Commander worried that Marcus might act out of jealousy or envy.

Humans could be unpredictable like that.

“Phew.”

Marcus let out a deep sigh, standing with his brow furrowed for a long time.

As the tea in his hand cooled, he seemed unaware of the Fairy Company Commander standing beside him. He let out another sigh and then smiled.

“This is something.”

The Fairy Company Commander sensed a certain relief in Marcus’s laugh.

Indeed, he was smiling in a refreshed manner.

Then, Marcus abruptly asked.

“What do you think? Will he become a Knight?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to him.”

“They say Fairies always speak straightforwardly.”

Rather than hiding the truth, Fairies are known to use the truth as a weapon in their words.

“It’s been a long time since I felt my blood boil.”

Marcus muttered.

What happens when his blood boils?

Marcus was undoubtedly aligned with the nobility.

Naurillia, despite being a centralized state, was said to have lost some power to the nobility.

This scattering of national strength had made their struggle with the Duchy of Aspen challenging.

“Aren’t you leaving?”

“I’m going.”

After the Fairy Company Commander left, Marcus walked to a place with a chair and sat down.

A few words had left him sweating.

He felt strangely good, yet also troubled.

And he made a decision.

‘Becoming a Knight?’

He couldn’t laugh it off. How could he mock someone’s dream spoken with such sincerity?

He was merely stirred by it.

‘Alright, then I will…’

Instead of following the damn noble faction, he would move towards something truly new.

It was something he had pondered for a long time.

The fork in the road before him.

A crossroads where he had yet to make a choice.

Marcus’s hand went into his pocket and came out holding a letter.

A letter he had received a long time ago but had ignored.

A relic of the past he hadn’t been able to discard.

“Very well.”

Marcus’s eyes gleamed as he held the letter.

It was the look he had in his younger days, eyes burning with passion.

At the corner of the open letter, the royal seal was faintly visible.

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