A Serenade for the Innocent - 130 Tell The White People That Your Friends Are Sh*

“You know what I really, really love the most, Timmy, my love?” The man named Lucas said as he stuck himself closer towards the man who’s wearing the Tulle dress. Meanwhile, it seems like they’re already raising the third lion for the next batch of tasing at the back.

“Ooooh! Other than killing bitches, Sir?” The man named Timmy said as he snuggled tightly to the man wearing a white suit. Silence then took over the stage while all of the people around them just stared at each in disbelief. Meanwhile, the jester continued hanging his head on the noose with his tongue out of his lips. Timmy then cleared his throat, and the drummer who had been sleeping the entire time had suddenly woken up while shaking his head and played that very familiar ‘ba-dum-tss~’ tune thingie. Afterward, the hooker who had been licking furry T. S. Elliot suddenly gave out a loud and obviously forced peal of laughter that sounded more like the agonizing scream of a kitten getting mutilated.

“Friends betraying each other!” Lucas said before gazing at all of the people who are looking earnestly at him in the glass hall. When he did so, we saw the three gymnast girls fall on the ground at the same time, resounding such a loud thud. One of them even hit one of the male Cabaret dancers behind. When the now dead gymnast girls fell on the Cabaret dancer’s face, the male performer suddenly screamed in pure ecstasy as I realized that he had suddenly started peeing on the stage.

“Mmm! I always love your style, Master Lucas!” Timmy said as he moved his head to look at us with such a stupid smile on his face. He was smiling while opening his mouth so damn wide that he started to look like a cuckold who had just received a Nintendo Switch from his wife’s boyfriend.

“THAT’S WHY TODAY WE WILL BE PLAYIIIIING…! Lucas yelled on the mic again, which produced this awful high pitched noise on the loudspeakers somewhere around the dark corner.

Then, Timmy and Lucas suddenly positioned themselves in what seemed like the posture of two people who would be dancing a waltz routine before they both sang in unison. “TEEEELL THE WHITE PEOPLE~” The way they sang that lyric sounded a whole lot like the recurring violin part in Britney Spears’ Toxic. “TELL THE WHITE PEOPLE~” They repeated in the same melody, but this time they weren’t in sync. It seems like the band who’s hanging upside down on the ceiling doesn’t want to play their instruments, though. They were just looking blankly at an empty space around them with their mouths open wide. Meanwhile, the hooker, who’s wearing a very tacky and short polyester skirt, then started wiping his vagina on T. S. Elliot’s fursuit. “TEEEELL THE WHITE PEOPLE~” The two people continued to sing on that same melody while they began to waltz at the front of the stage. It seems like they weren’t particularly well-practiced though because they’re both looking at their feet awkwardly, and their failure is further exemplified when Lucas stomped on Timmy’s bare feet. “OW! FUCK!” Timmy screamed loud before hissing loudly, but he didn’t stop dancing. Meanwhile, the jester suddenly opened his reddened eyes and just sang Pink Floyd’s The Great Gig in the Sky perfectly with a fantastic soprano-like voice that one could only find in Broadway. Lucas then suddenly stopped dancing with his hands outstretched while Timmy followed his lead and began to pose with his upper body leaned forward while his hands are on his waist. “THAT YOUR FRIENDS ARE SHIT!” They both suddenly just screamed those words without even uttering them with a melody as they panted heavily with sweat-filled faces. The band on the ceiling then started to play a piece of happy and upbeat music while T. S. Elliot accompanied them by reciting Rhapsody on a Windy Night with his eyes crossed in the middle and his tongue out. The jester is dead again.

“So what’s today’s game supposed to be, Master Lucas?” Timmy said on the microphone while still being in that same pose. Out of nowhere, a naked fat man suddenly walked from backstage and started eating beans with a lapel placed on his neck. He then walked towards the two Caucasian hosts and stood a few inches behind them while we could hear the loud sound of him eating beans.

“Today’s game is all about friendship, Timmy!” Lucas said without breaking a character even when the old, ugly, fat, naked man suddenly wiped bean juice on his face. “Today, our wonderful and beautiful and talented and cute and… uh… and talented Stromlets will tell our friends who’re watching at home what all of them had done so far in our very exciting dungeon moment!” As Lucas said those words, the LED signage at the back suddenly fell directly into one of the male Cabaret dancer’s faces, obviously killing him and spilling his blood all over the wooden floor. This, in turn, made the lion on the center of stage roar weakly while the twins continuously tase it.

“That’s right, dear viewers! And today, we have three survivors left to play our game!” Timmy said with a somehow genuine-looking smile while the fat naked man behind him suddenly started doing a Whip Nae Nae dance thing with bean juices all over his hands.

“No, there’s…” The man named Lucas said while looking awkwardly at us with a defeated chuckle. “There’s four.” He said, forgetting that he’s still talking to the mic.

Timmy then looked at him with a sad expression, unmoving and mute for precisely 17 seconds before he started uttering again, “The guy on the floor is alive?”

“Yeah. He got seeded.” Lucas replied with an awkward chuckle as he looked at his partner with eyes filled with fury. Meanwhile, the pianist at the ceiling started cracking uncooked eggs and spreading it on his hairy chest. It then started dripping into his head until it all dropped slightly on Lucas’ unfazed expression.

“THERE’S FOUR SURVIVORS!” Timmy replied with a laugh while looking at the people in the glass hall. When he said so, the hippie guitarist suddenly started playing the intro to Sweet Child of Mine perfectly over and over again while the two hosts looked in front of them with blank expressions.

“THAT’S RIGHT!” Lucas screamed out of nowhere, which made the guitarist stop playing and just started whiffing some kind of cigarette instead. Is that what those Antichrist children call mahrihwanaah? Lucas then continued, “Today, our Stromlets will pick which one of their ‘friends’ should DIE right here right now! Every round, we would give information about their friends, and each Stromlet will provide a point to their fellow competitors! The first person that will get TEN, TEN, TEN, TEEEEEEEEEEEN POINTS will DIIIIIIIIIE!”

“YEEEEEEEESSSSS!” The fat and bald man who’s standing behind Lucas suddenly screamed, making his flabby stomach vibrate. However, none of the hosts still acknowledged his existence.

“That’s right, Master Lucas!” Timmy replied as he started to pull his dress up with a groan. “Our contestant for today is the beautiful and charming, NUUUUUUURSE! The cunning and stern, SALESMAAAAAAAAAN! The jumpy and outgoing, SILVER MAAAAAAAN, and last but definitely not the least, the person who exists, PRIEEESSST! Since the policeman is currently out of service right now, he won’t be a part of today’s contest…”

The fat and ugly old man then suddenly pulled Timmy’s hands and yelled on the mic, “WHAAKKKWHAKK WEEEEEWWWW!” Nonetheless, the hosts still ignored him, and they just continued with the program. Meanwhile, the cabaret dancers suddenly started kicking each other’s ball sack as they all positioned themselves in a big circle.

Hmph. Well, this part is relatively easy. I’ll just put all of my points into the salesman until he’s out of the game. Then, I’ll continue to protect the silver man’s background somehow, even if I found out that he’s literally the reincarnated soul of Adolf Hitler! I will defend this damn silver man until he started to be dumb enough and say that he would die for me!

“Now, I’ll have to ask our Stromlets; have you all decided who will be the sacrifice for the Seventh Area!?” Lucas said while tap-dancing the beat of Clean Bandit’s Rather Be while he’s flapping his hands like chicken wings.

I then suddenly screamed and raised my hands to proclaim, “ME! I AM THE SACRIFICE!”

“IT’S THE PRIEST!” Timmy and Lucas screamed in unison, making the band above them suddenly play a joyful song that sounded a whole lot like a mixture of ragtime and pop-jazz. The hooker then suddenly started screaming at the top of her lungs while the music played, and T. S. Elliot peed her pants so hard that it reached his chin in no time.

“AMENOOOOO, DORIMEEEEEE!” The jester sang in a beautiful and deep voice out of nowhere while still hanging on the noose.

“SKAPBADIBIDIBADADADAPDAPDABOBOBOBO DAMDIDIBOOOBOO! I’M A SCATMAN!” The bald fat old man suddenly started singing while flapping his genitals all over the place.

“Great choice, as always, from our wonderful Stromlets!” Timmy said with a sneer as his eyes suddenly turned into the shape of a crescent moon. “However, ladies and gentlemen, who’re watching this show in our Livestream at www dot maelstrom dot com, we would like to tell you all that we’re officially changing the rules of today’s Maelstroooooooooom! Come on in, MAELSTROM HOT MOMMAS!”

Then, two ladies started to walk into the glass hall from the door we had just entered earlier. They had with them what seemed like a long trolley with three leather belts strapped on it.

“TIE THE PRIEST UP!” Lucas ordered in a booming voice.

“WHAT!?” I said as I stepped as far away from the two skinny ladies as I can. However, when I tried to get out, the ladies who were wearing some kind of revealing pairs of bikini that only hid their nipples and vaginas from public view started to screech like banshees straight out of hell itself. Their fingers then started to get longer while their nails became sharper than a knife. Their faces suddenly gradually transformed into what seemed like the heads of dogs as their teeth began to turn into sharp fangs. “OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! I’LL COME WITH YOU. I’LL COME WITH YOU!” The two ladies then returned to their beautiful natural state while smiling beautifully at me. They then pulled me towards the trolley-thing they’re holding and strapped the leather belts all around my stiffened body. The two ladies, who looked way stronger than they looked like, started to put a green metal face mask on the lower half of my face, making it hard for me to open my mouth. From the looks of it, it almost made me look a whole lot like Hannibal Lecter, but worst and definitely not as charming.

“Ladies, you know the drill! If the priest spears, bite his dick off! When his dick is already gone, you can go free for all!” Lucas said with a broad smile before he somersaulted twice. He then continued while panting and holding his head tightly, “If you don’t bite his dick off, you know what will happen to the small bombs in your head!”

Then, out of nowhere, the chorus of the song Bang Bang sang by those three pop singers that I can’t even remember anymore blasted so damn loud on the speakers around us, which made the people in the glass hall wince with their hands on their ears. However, the people on the stage didn’t look fazed by it.

Fuck. Now, this got even harder than I expected.