A Slackers Guide To Immortality - Chapter 4

More than 2 days had passed since Joe was cold ċȯċked by Young Three. They traveled by train and by car until they reached the foothills of mountains in the north. When Joe awoke he was being carried piggybacked by Young Three. Joe was very cold and frightened. So he spoke out to his captors.

“My d*ck is about frozen off. I have no idea why you guys took me but there’s no point in taking me any further. I have no money I’m terrible in bed and I prefer women anyways.”

Young Three threw Joe to the ground then blushed “I am a woman you as$hole.” Then she hit him in the face again.

“Why is your answer to every problem to bash it in the face Young Three? Have you ever thought to try diplomacy? Maybe combat others ignorance with logic and discourse?”

“The stupid can talk to my fist Scholar. I have neither time nor words for dummies.”

“Well now you have no choice but to carry him the full distance to the sect. If he was awake he could have walked part of the way himself. Also why are you still carrying that bag of sausages and that can of poison he had in the bag.?”

“I figured the condemned deserves one last meal before his sentencing hehehe.” the malevolent glow in her eyes was enough scare the devil himself.

“I wish we had a flying sword it would go so much faster for us to get up this hill.”

“Young Three you may as well wish for a Mirror of Deflection our sect is so poor we are already considered lucky to have these Shawls of Concealment to move freely among the normals.”

“Looks like im stuck humping this fat lump over hill and dell hehehe I can’t wait to dress him up all pretty and have him on his hands and knees haha.”

“I hope I never end up on your bad side Young Three…”

She then reached down to scoop up Joe from the dirt. With almost tender care she placed him on her right shoulder and began her ascent up the mountain again.

The Scholar hummed an ancient song.

“Oh I know that one the wheels on the bus go round and round.” Joe said groggily from atop his trusty steed.

“The baby on the bus goes wah wah wah.”

“Shut up you fool before I smack you again. Are you capable of walking on your own?” Young Three said sarcastically.

At this point Joe chose the path of least resistance. He shut his mouth and his eyes again.

“See what happens if you beat your slaves Scholar they learn hehehe.”

For three days and three nights they walked a narrow path through a dense alpine Forrest until they reached a green stone wall about shoulder height for a tall man. A set of teak wood double doors were before them.

Scholar White Tides rapped his knuckles twice on the wood and whispered “Elder we are here. We have brought one of the wicked to redeem his body and spirit from the clutches of decadence and indulgence. Please venerable one allow your servants to enter and begin at once.”

“Knock off the flowery speech Scholar ain’t nobody got time for that.” boomed Young Three before she barrel kicked one of the doors open.