A Wish to Grab Happiness - Book 12: Chapter 300

Chapter 300: Perfect Happiness

“I could feel a lump of ice crawling under my skin. It wriggled freely inside my limbs, and gradually began to rise through my body.”

“Like dancing and singing that felt organic and free. Still, the ice never stopped walking through my spine.”

“It was clear what it was aiming for. If I ran as if I were climbing a mountain, my destination would be already decided.”

“The skull. A clogged brain.”

“My brain itself was frozen, and my nerves were transformed into something hard.”

“My stomach became cold and heavy like iron, and my body became stiff.”

“It was as if my very limbs and my whole body had turned to ice. And it wouldn’t be too far in the future for this cold to take control of my brain cells.” This strange conviction filled Filaret’s thoughts.

It was cold, painful, and scary.

Filaret wanted heat, even if it was just a fragment. She hated being cold. She couldn’t help but remember those warm days.

Those days when she had nothing. “I tried my best, but I couldn’t reach my talent, and I couldn’t even reach mediocracy.”

“I tried so hard, but everyone else got things easily without much effort. I clenched my teeth so hard that I thought my teeth would break, but I could only see someone else’s back.”

“It was miserable. It was humiliating. How come I have nothing? Why am I the only one who must walk with such a miserable face? Why do I have to keep my head down?”

How many times had Filaret had those thoughts? She remembered the coldness from those days. She had nothing to offer and no one to help her. She grabbed a stone and forced herself to stand up but was kicked down each time.

It was cold, so cold. Filaret couldn’t cling to anything. At this rate, she felt as if she were going to crawl on her knees and freeze to death.

「You should be relieved. I will give you salvation. It will satisfy you. 」

Filaret heard something. A sweet and gentle sound echoed in her heart and ears.

Filaret felt the sensation that her soul was about to melt away. Her fingertips, which had been reduced to cold stone, conveyed a slight warmth.

Happiness was out there. The concept of salvation had materialized. In other words, it was light itself.

Filaret’s slender fingers stretched towards the light with a relaxed gesture.

As soon as possible, yes, as soon as possible. Filaret just wanted happiness and salvation.

It was no longer something as simple as a suggestion. It was a form of worship and faith. All she had to do was believe and be saved.

There was no way she could resist. Its existence directly swallowed the brain and invaded the human mind. She had no idea if that was good or bad. However, she had the overwhelming individuality to do that much.

The God of Salvation, Altius.

Overwhelming prestige was in front of Filaret. She saw that the scene reflected in her field of vision was white and blurry.

But fear not. There was only peace, “something tells me that it’s fine. Because it’s the road I used to go through anyway.”

Filaret was almost reaching that happiness. In the middle, she could see something black at the edge of her vision. It was something dark, which wriggled like a shadow.

At the same time, Filaret’s ears caught a single sound. A nostalgic voice that seemed to have been transported from somewhere far away. Filaret’s black eyes opened upon hearing the voice that felt aloof yet had a weight to it.

「I’ve licked my bitterness and uttered contempt many times over. Ah, it can’t be helped. After all, I’m a person who doesn’t have anything.」

“Where am I hearing that voice? When did I hear those words?”

The light around her decreased slightly, and the shadow wriggled comically. It was as if a fragment of night had come to shatter the light.

“Yes, night. That night at Garoua Maria.”

「Then, there is only one way to go. 」

Lugis said those words. The darkness ate the light and jumped.

「Those who have nothing have no choice but to walk barefoot on the path covered with thorns. Therefore, I will gladly wash my hands and feet with my own blood.」

“Yes, yes. That night, Lugis said those words and reached out to me…”

Before she knew it, the shadow trampled on the light as if it were laughing. Right next to Filaret. The outline of the shadow was slightly reminiscent of him.

Filaret noticed that her own cheeks were surprisingly warm. The euphoria that had been stuffed into her chest disappeared like a mist. But all that was left was the glowing heat.

There was no more cold under her skin.

“Why do I have to live a life where I just watch over the back of the person who has it all? How can I be satisfied with happiness given to me by chance?”

Filaret heard her fingers creaking. The nails pierced so deep that they gouged the flesh out of her palms. “I have something I want. The existence that I seek, even if I must throw everything else away.”

…Could Filaret La Volgograd hold the one thing she wished for with her hands?

“I’ll grab it even if it’s far away. That’s my perfect happiness.”

—

Filaret slowly opened her overly heavy eyelids. If she hadn’t strained herself, she would have fallen into a deep sleep in no time.

Filaret finally realized that she had lost consciousness when she saw the stone floor of the Great Temple.

Her hands and feet were tied up with a magical equipment, and it didn’t seem like she could free herself from it. “That’s right, I’m lying down.”

“Why?”

When her eyes flickered, Caria’s silver hair fluttered in front of her, and a figure that looked like Eldith was visible behind her back. Filaret couldn’t comprehend the situation with her still-to-be-awakened mind, but listening to the words they exchanged, it seemed that they were talking about how to escape from this place.

“What was happening?” Filaret’s skull creaked and clouded her thoughts. What happened and what led to the current situation? Her thoughts were vague.

Filaret’s blurry thoughts followed the memory she had with a leisurely step.

Certainly, she faced the saint when she tried to protect Lugis.

…I am the Divine Spirit Altius, I will grant you absolute happiness.

“I met Altius.” Filaret’s teeth rang strongly.

She met that threat, yes, and she was entangled by that menacing force.

The moment she finally regained her composure, Filaret felt her cheeks naturally blushing with embarrassment. Her eyes were moist, and her clenched teeth made a strange noise.

“In other words, the enemy caught me, and I even lost my consciousness.”

“It’s ugly. What an oddity! In order not to interfere with Lugis’ determination, I stood proudly in front of the enemy. Instead of defeating the enemy, I lost my mind and got trapped with magical equipment”.

Looking at her current state, she was probably rescued by either Caria or Eldith.

However, that fact made Filaret’s skin blush even more than it made her feel gratitude.

Not only was she unable to help Lugis, but she even dragged her comrades to their feet. Filaret’s black eyes narrowed due to the unbearable shame.

“Pathetic. I’d rather shut myself in the darkness if I could.” The fact that the magical equipment was still entwined around her hands and feet drove even further Filaret’s spirit into shame.

As if to turn her gaze away from Caria and Eldith, Filaret stared into the depths of the Great Temple. She could see the altar behind it. “If I remember correctly, it was the place where Lugis fought against Helot.”

Something black was now enshrined there. Could one call it a black sphere? The sphere was large enough to swallow an entire person.

That black thing looked familiar. It was Eldith’s cursed mist. Even so, what Filaret saw was much smaller.

It had now taken a definite shape and it was there. Was there an opponent who held a tangible curse to press it down?

It was a brief moment. Then, as soon as Filaret realized its existence, a piercing chill attacked her whole body.

Even from a distance, she could see the black sphere slightly unraveling. Maybe she even saw a flash of light in between.

Filaret already knew what was lurking inside and what was being held back. It resembled intuition.

Within a few moments, that being would crawl out of it. Filaret’s skin was so tense because she felt an extreme pressure.

Now was the time for her to act one more time.

That’s why Filaret must do something now. There was no time. After all, she was nearby. Her stigma must be renounced.

She raised her upper body slightly and pushed forward with her hands tied to the magical equipment.

Her hands felt no power at all, and she didn’t feel like swinging a single twig. If a tiny force were to be called magic, it would soon dissipate.

“However, I have an idea.” The manual for that was already engraved in Filaret’s brain. After all, she had worked on that idea in the past.

For those who were restrained by a magical equipment, even if they emitted magic, the magical power would be imbibed by the equipment.

…However, if a spike of the magical power surpassed the restraints of the magical equipment, wouldn’t it be possible to emit a spell?

Of course, it was something whom nobody would be serious to try. It was truly lawless. It was not even a reasonable methodology.

The magical equipment was forcibly inserting a needle into the channel that carried the magical power of the caster and imbibed that power.

Injecting mana into it was the same as opening the wound yourself. A sharp pain ran through Filaret’s hands and feet, and her organs writhed in agony from the backflow of magic.

Nonetheless. That’s why Filaret did it without the slightest hesitation. After all, the words that came from that time were still ringing in her ears.

Those who have nothing have no choice but to walk barefoot on the path covered with thorns. Therefore, I will gladly wash my hands and feet with my own blood.

“If I can do it, then let’s do it.” Filaret’s hands could feel magical power running through her entire body. The veins in her limbs writhed with screams.

“Enchantment Casting…Battlefield Magic.”

The splurge of magical power ran toward the black sphere.