Absolute Choice - Chapter 500

Chapter 500: Girls do not know about pounding the meat

Translator: CKtalon Editor:

Xiao Xiao constantly scrolled down as all she saw was scolding passages filled with the ‘charm of literature’.

“Actually, I resisted against stroking the OP’s dog head the first time! Because I feel that…Hey… You can’t make me stroke it at your beck and call. First of all, I want to try it out, but I don’t want to say it out either…After stroking the dog head, many special effects will be added. That dog head is…very black! Very shiny! Very soft! But the audience would come out and scold me because there’s no such dog head! This proves that the dog head above is fake… Later I learned that it was all organic with no addition of chemicals. So…I stroked it for a month…After a month…it was quite comfortable stroking it. As for now…,I’m stroking it every day! I’m still stroking it every day…I even gave it to the poster below me to stroke it together! Come! Come! Come! Everyone, try stroking it! Then I told the director, “I’ll stroke it when it’s time to stroke it! After stroking it, this dog head is still OP’s dog head. So don’t add any effects. If you keep adding special effects, it wouldn’t look like a dog head! I want to let everyone see what it looks like after I stroke dog heads—that after you finish stroking it, you will also look like that.”*

“OP, here you are trying to sully others. You made me check several communities and scour through hundreds of threads before I finally found you. The construction foreman got me to tell you to wake up early tomorrow for work. There are three cement carts and two carts of bricks that need moving. If you don’t finish moving them, you won’t even be paid for yesterday. Also, Widower Wang from the eastern end of the village asks you: When would you have saved enough money to marry her? If you do not return by the end of the year, she will marry the hunchback living in the western end.”

These somewhat satirical responses were without a single invective, but each would ‘ruthlessly’ curse the OP. It made them convulse with laughter in a greatly satisfactory manner.

Xiao Xiao was relishing the passages and came to a realization that scolding could be that interesting.

Bunny’s eyes lit up too as she did not even blink. It was as though she had ‘learned’ a lot.

There were a lot of interesting replies that left the two girls completely clueless.

For example:

“OP has no thoughts of a perished kingdom, only to pound the meat from day to night.

I raise my head to view the bright moon, then I lower my head and pound the meat.

If my family and friends in Luoyang ask about my situation, you could say that OP is pounding the meat.

If one does not exert oneself in youth, OP pounds the meat.

Sitting up in fright on one’s deathbed, OP is still pounding the meat.

Striving to be outstanding in life, pounding the meat even in death.

Since the beginning of time, who has not died, OP’s continues pounding the meat.

For hundreds and thousands of times, for him I search in the chaos, OP is pounding the meat.”

This comment left questions sprouting in Xiao Xiao and Bunny’s minds. They could not understand why there was a constant repeat of the words ‘OP pounding the meat’.

Was pounding the meat a form of scolding?

However, the duo did not delve deeply into those details as they continued scrolling down.

Suddenly, a reply in a different taste made Xiao Xiao draw a gasp.

“Why were the underwear of a retirement home destroyed? Why did hundreds of sows in the village scream out at midnight? Who is the serial rapist of sows? Was it a human or ghost who knocked on an old nun’s door every night? What is the hidden secret behind the accidental pregnancy of hundreds of mummies? Is the distortion of human nature or moral decay behind all this? Is it the explosive outbreak of hormones or out of helpless thirst? Please stay tuned to tonight’s Hero Law Channel’s masterpiece this year, ‘OP’s Path of No Return’ at eight. Let us accompany the camera and walk into the perverted OP’s inner world!”

Xiao Xiao only saw a few of the first few words before her face blushed; hence, she hurriedly scrolled down.

However, what she saw next was…

“Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to push her down onto a table, and while grabbing onto her ear, hear her choke and press down on her, violating her.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to trap her in a clothing square, and while others are buying and selling outside, violate her in the lift and hear her crying, dirtying her exercise attire.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to hide in a closet at the exit after work, and while looking at her yearning but not dare to shout, violating her while she wants to resist but lacks strength.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to hide her clothes in the gym room, and violating her as she is prevented from leaving and giving medicine to those who want to enter.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to capture her during luggage festival and push her down in a corner under a curtain, violating her as she becomes afraid of being discovered.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to caress her on the public bus and letting her tremble with mercy in her orgasmic excitement before violating her.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to strip her off her underwear and skirt on the balcony she lives in and pressing down on a blanket that is being sunned, violating her as she remains apprehensive of being discovered.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping to suck at her sensitive spots while she makes a phone call and violating her after she pretends to sound calm.

Yearning to violate the OP, hoping for her to give a morning blow job, hearing her muffled sounds as she chases her parents away before violating her under her urge to be ‘faster’…”

Xiao Xiao saw the first line and immediately exclaimed. Her cheeks flushed red as she hurriedly switched off her cell phone screen. She felt that her eyes had been ‘tainted’.

At that moment, Bunny suddenly asked in confusion, “What does violation mean? Why did that person keep talking about violating OP?”

Xiao Xiao’s face blushed when she heard that. She muttered inaudibly but she was unsure how to reply. She noticed that Bunny’s eyes were extremely pure like a baby who wanted to know the answer.

Heavens, does Bunny Cao really not know the meaning to ‘violate’?

Boohoo, how can there be such a pure girl?

Xiao Xiao secretly decided that she was definitely not telling Bunny the meaning of such an impure passage. She hurriedly switched topics and said, “Nothing. Just something meaningless. Oh, let’s scold the OP also?”

Bunny’s attention was immediately diverted as she joyfully nodded and said, “Alright! I want to scold OP! Let me do it first!”

Xiao Xiao smiled slightly as she handed her cell phone over.

Bunny took it over and began typing out words at an extremely slow speed. Furthermore, she had made several typos. It was obvious that she very rarely typed with her cell phone. It was even possible that she had never used one before.

After a few minutes of typing, Bunny displayed the results of her ‘studies’.

“OP is speaking nonsense! Shi Xiaobai will definitely last more than five hours! Hmph! Signing off, Bunny Cao!”

Xiao Xiao could not help but laugh when she looked at it.

Was scolding someone in such a ‘cute’ manner appropriate? Also, why did she say ‘Signing off, Bunny Cao”? Wasn’t she afraid that others would criticize her?

Xiao Xiao held back her laughter and said encouragingly, “Nicely done!”

Bunny beamed with pride. It was as though she felt that she had done a good job scolding. She chuckled and handed the cell phone back to Xiao Xiao.

Xiao Xiao took the cell phone over and realized that Bunny was looking at her with a look of anticipation.

Xiao Xiao gave a helpless smile and began typing on the screen. She began producing the first ‘bitch’ reply of her Internet life.

“Stroking OP’s dog head while smiling. Waiting for five hours before Shi Xiaobai smacks OP’s face into a pig head!”

Bunny’s eyes lit up as she gave her a big thumbs up.

Xiao Xiao also smiled happily.

…

…

As the Xiao family car was cruising down the highway, a middle-aged man was running in mid-air while following the car closely from behind.

This scene made passers-by who happened to see it gape. That was because not only was the middle-aged man running in mid-air more than hundred meters in the sky, he was running very leisurely. It looked like he was walking on flat ground but he was able to follow the car closely behind. He was never left in the dust.

And most crazy of all was that as the middle-aged man ran, he suddenly took out a cell phone and made a call!

However, as there was a constant layer of clouds lingering around the middle-aged man, there was no way of discerning his appearance or knowing what he was saying.

And in fact, the conversation was also very strange.

“Hello, Wifey…Bunny, Bunny has learned to curse. What do we do?”

The middle-aged man looked nervous as he carefully asked.

“Ah!? Why would Bunny learn how to curse!?”

A woman’s roar came from the cell phone like a lion’s. “I told you to watch Bunny, but you thought nothing of it? You can’t even take care of our darling daughter! Do you want to kneel on a washboard?”

The middle-aged man hurriedly said, “Wifey, I know my mistakes. Listen to my explanation…”

The woman said angrily, “Don’t explain. Any explanation is just a form of concealment. Concealment means fabricating a story! Speak, what else are you keeping from me?”

The middle-aged man’s face turned pale as he stuttered, “Bunny…Bunny even…even asked what violation means…”

The moment the middle-aged man said those words, he closed his eyes as though he was waiting for his death.

“Groundless Cao!”

“Don’t you dare step into my room tonight!”

The woman’s roar came blaring out from the cell phone as though she was about to flip the sky upside down.

The middle-aged man immediately said in a manner too deep for tears, “Wifey, I think it’s better if you make me kneel on a washboard!”

…

…

News of Shi Xiaobai reaching the eighth level proliferated throughout China quickly. Every citizen was discussing fervently the amount of time Shi Xiaobai would spend on the eighth level.

As for Shi Xiaobai, he was experiencing an ‘inward interrogation’.

He had stood silently at the beginning point of the eighth level’s world, motionless and expressionless. His eyes were slightly glazed over until the Infernal Queen suddenly appeared as she slowly walked over from a distance.

The Infernal Queen smiled coquettishly as she walked with a seductive gait. Every step she took left an ice lotus blooming at her feet.

She produced lotuses with every step, but they withered nearly instantly.

Shi Xiaobai jolted awake and locked eyes with the Infernal Queen before opening his mouth slightly and he mouthed two words…

From a distance, the Infernal Queen suddenly made out the two words that Shi Xiaobai was about to say from the shape of his mouth. Immediately, her expression changed slightly.

The two words were…

Open Sesame.

Also, it was the exit command!

Translator’s Note: This is a passage said by Jackie Chan in an interview on a hair shampoo commercial he did when he was interviewed. It was discovered that it could be taken out of context by changing washing hair to something else, in this case, stroking the dog head (stroke: wash, dog head: hair).