Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga - Chapter 33: Ceril Tusin Orgatorph

Those kinds of words shouldn’t be coming out of the mouth of a felon that eyed a brat’s butt.

This world had fallen real far, huh.

“What. What you fucker? What about what I said, you piece of shit? You thought you won’t get cursed if you throw people around?”

But shockingly, that bastard was getting angry at me for real. As if I had actually thrown him to the ground just out of spite and didn’t see what he was trying to do, and as if he couldn’t touch the butt he luckily could’ve touched because of that, he was fuming twice as much from it and raging about at a level of foaming at his mouth.

“In what world is there an idiot that thinks he’ll get cursed for dropping a fucker that tries to sneakily touch a girl’s butt? Did I break your cranium?”

“Wawawawa, what in bullshit you saying, you fuck!”

The sounds around us slowly quietened at his shout. Ceril, who had her shoulder held in my hands, tilted her head and looked back and forth between him and me, and then soon upgraded her questioning bold-fonts to raging bold-fonts and understood the situation.

“You got a fucking proof?! A fucking proof!!”

“I’m only letting you off easy ‘cause this is inside the guild, but you and your hand would’ve been flying separately if this was somewhere else. Go get an Orb of Truth from the library if you’re pissed.”

Even if I tried recalling my memories however much I could as I spoke, he was a face I hadn’t seen in the last 1 year. Because the capital’s Adventurers’ Guild was a system akin to a low-level hunting-range, it was the norm for experienced adventurers to head somewhere else and for only newbies to come in anew.

Since he couldn’t be a newbie with that look, he must be a non-newbie adventurer that came in here from somewhere else, but… among the bastards that crawled in all the way to the capital like that with nobody’s worth of skills, there was almost no case where they were normal.

“What the? Dantell? What’s going on?”

“That fucking bastard is slandering me!”

But I couldn’t understand why it was this common for those sorts of bastards to roam around in herds. Because from between the adventurers watching the noisily shouting bastard with amusement, four hairy lumps carefreely appeared and then stood next to the bastard and began glaring at me.

“You fucking piece of shit! You think you’ll get off easy after insulting me like that?!”

Nine out of ten, those sorts of idiots who fucked around themselves and then twitched like they’d pull out their swords at any second were retards. And the other one was a monster.

Thanks to that, slowly my head was also leaning to one side.

“And what’re you going to do, you fucking child sex offender.”

“Ch, ch, se, what?! Fucking what?!”

Ceril abruptly pinched my side and I nearly let out a shriek, but I clenched my teeth and endured through it. Just why were my acquaintances so obsessed with ruining someone else’s side?

“Oi kid. I’m not sure what, but it looks like there was a misunderstanding, so why don’t you stop there and apologize?”

“I see you wanna take a pose with a pretty girlfriend next to you, but the world isn’t that clean and easy place like the capital is, you know?”

The moment the bold-fonts finally turned enraged and attempted to jump out from my arm at the bastards’ acts that not only maintained brazen-faced attitudes but now even subtly tried to threaten us, I noticed the situation and hurriedly blocked Ceril’s mouth.

“I’m… upp! Upp!”

“Oi! No! Not you!”

My annoyance that had shot up from the shitty situation instantly switched to panic. Even if people didn’t know nobles’ faces at all, a grand chaos was certain the moment she shouted her name, so I had to prevent that from happening. But Ceril, whose irritation and rage had already soared, wildly flailed to free herself.

“Ack! Don’t bite, and please!”

That moment. An abrupt hand of salvation appeared.

“Is it a fight? Who’s… i, it’s the Mad Dog?!”

“I, it’s Eldmia Egga!”

“A gang that picks a fight with Mad Dog Eldmia has appeared!”

Although it wasn’t in a welcome form, salvation was salvation. With their shouts as a start, the adventurers who were rather close around us all slid back. But even then, they circled all around us as if they’d no plan to miss this piece of entertainment and went into a spectator mode.

At the reaction of the nearby adventurers who abruptly heated up and slowly distanced themselves from us, not only Dantell and his friends but even Ceril began looking up at me with weird eyes.

No, but, I really couldn’t help it. How could I just walk past when there were so many bastards picking a fight?

It was absolutely not my fault that incidents happened at a rate of one creed installation per one completed commission.

But it was a big help either way right now, so I laboriously maintained my calm and announced to them.

“The capital isn’t that clean and easy place as whatever you bastards think of, you know? Unless you wanna croak while trusting only your head count, take that sex offender bastard and scram.”

“… your fucking face. We remembered it. Watch your back.”

Dantell, who was slowly backing away as he threatened, was so comical that I unconsciously laughed out.

“Yeah, remember it well. ‘Cause you’ll croak the moment you forget.”

I’d let him off since it stopped at a simple attempt. Looking around our surroundings where the bastards had left like that and had entered a calmed state before we knew it, I couldn’t help but say a word or two.

“Mad Dog?”

The countless gathered eyes instantly scattered as if rehearsed. Fucking really.

“Child?”

At Ceril’s cold voice, I quickly dodged away and ran to the commission board to snatch the bandit extermination commission form.

🔷

“Just what have you been doing?”

“I’ve been protecting my creed.”

Even when I spoke only the truth, Ceril only looked at me with a face full of suspicion.

After accepting our original goal of bandit extermination commission at the end of the short ruckus and while traveling to the gathering point, Ceril relentlessly threw questions at me saying she’d find out what kind of weird acts I’d done. Even so, let alone weird acts, I’d only repeated proper acts for my honor and creed, so I had nothing to feel guilty of.

“Come to think of it, you apparently had that sort of personality in Ogwen, too.”

“Hm? How do you know about that?”

“Lagnis told me.”

Ah. Right, two were supposedly really old friends. Although a status difference had occurred a bit from the tragedy at Lagnis’s house, it seemed that their friendship hadn’t changed.

“Come to think of it, you did say you guys knew each other from the start. Speaking of which, it doesn’t feel like you went to see her very much after I became your personal butler.”

“‘Cause Lagnis is busy, too. You yourself don’t see her very often, either, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah.”

She’s just incredibly busy. To the point that I could really only describe her like that, Lagnis had been incredibly busy for the last 1 year. Before, I’d occasionally gone to see her face even then, but now, it was difficult to see her even once a week.

“Lagnis is short on time, after all. Many people with Master Radnellvandes at the lead have stuck to her side and are educating and planning for her, so… it is an obvious outcome.”

Unlike me, who was investing most of my time staying at the mansion or doing guild commissions, it seemed Ceril, who frequented the academy, heard some stories at least. However, she stopped right at the line of hearing the stories.

“Either way, it isn’t something we should worry about. Because Marquis Levien will successfully accomplish her work.”

Because she, even though they had an age difference and even a status difference, recognized her as a friend and an equal and trusted in her. Ceril didn’t pity Lagnis nor tried to help first. For she herself would have taken such an act as an insult if she was in that situation. Of course, Lagnis herself might want her to help first even if she didn’t particularly ask. But unless Ceril could tell her such precise thoughts, she merely showed the greatest respect she could and prepared.

So that she, simultaneously at her request for help, could jump out and cut her opponents’ necks.

“Oho. Well said. There’s no reason nor time to pointlessly worry when she hasn’t even asked for help. Preparing so that we could help when she actually does ask for help later is the best.”

“Arrogant, but I’ll let it slide this time.”

“Don’t steal my words.”

Our thoughts being fantastically similar definitely had its pros and cons. Putting aside finding each other arrogant when we talked, we connected with each other amazingly well.

Thanks to that, we were able to arrive at the gathering point, the western gateway, while talking to each other all the way without falling bored despite the long travel. In sort of a work and off-work divide, Ceril tended to lower her overbearing attitude a step and a half down when acting as an adventurer, and I thought this to be a result that was possible thanks to it.

“Are we fighting not just a bandit gang but a bandit army? We’re gathering a bit a lot, no?”

Different from the 20 or so people that I’d expected at the gathering point, what looked to be more than 50 people were scattered around individually and waiting to leave. Seeing how there were three carriages that resembled military transport trucks, it looked like the commissioners had gathered people with up to 60 people in mind.

Even when I considered the distance, it was difficult to believe that bandits had taken roost on a big enough scale to gather people like this in what at the very least counted as a bordering region of the capital.

“There’s a talk that a knight order will be deployed if it fails this time too.”

‘This time too?’ Before I even let out my voice, Ceril predicted my question and continued her words.

“They say they attempted it as a simple commission to adventurers on the 1st attempt. And this is the 2nd attempt.”

“Now I understand.”

Commissions about bandits were usually categorized as emerald and azure rank difficulties.

This was because most bandits in the end were merely on a level where they were poor and struggling and had to pillage someone else. If one had an awesome skill, then one could live well and good doing anything anywhere. It was a simple matter of fact. But the bandits this time must definitely be an exception that had slightly deviated from that simple fact.

There was some strong bastard.

“Even so, it’s bandits, so it must be the chief that’s skilled, right?”

“If a subordinate is more skilled than the chief, then I’m willing to even reveal my name and give them a standing applause.”

“That I agree with you. If it turns out like that, then I’ll also stand next to you and clap together.”

If mere bandits weren’t being controlled through strength but moving with loyalty, they were qualified enough to receive two of us’ applause. Even so, I showed my teeth and smiled feeling that things wouldn’t have come this far by just one or two being exceptional, and Ceril smiled similarly, too.

The reason Ceril showed interest in this commission must also be because of that. Because unlike her pretty looks, blood of the house of knights clearly flowed in her, and she took learning from a real fight with powerful opponents as absolutely given.

(3/3) of releases today. 3 more chapters in line for this week, and additional (0/4) chapters for month of May scheduled near end of the month.

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