Aizawa-kun Can’t Love - Volume 1

Common Honorifics:

-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.

-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.

-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.

-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

-sensei: A suffix and noun that literally means teacher.

The three of us were called after school to apologize to the affected families in that throwing incident, and then we were lectured by the teachers.

“…And? If you have something to say, I’m all ears.”

“…”

Ms. Hiiragi said that while lowering her tone at the three bowing morons.

“Haah, jeez… Aizawa alone is enough trouble, but now there are two others like him…”

“…You’re trouble too, teach.”

“Don’t talk about it like it’s someone else’s problem, Hoshimiya-sensei. For the next year, you’re going to be watching over these three idiots in gym class, okay?”

“Ugh… For some reason, I’m starting to get worried.”

The two teachers talked about whatever they wanted, taking advantage of our silence… Rather, Ms. Hiiragi, why are you patting me on the head alone?

Phew…

I’m not so mild-mannered that I can maintain my composure after such a lecture. Wondering about the other two, I glance to the side. I can’t read their expressions because he’s downcast, but his body is quivering as if holding something back, I’m sure he feels the same way I do.

“…Hmm? What’s the matter with you guys? You’ve got something to say?” Noticing our fidgeting, she asked.

As if agreeing to her words, we finally looked up and, almost simultaneously, pointed at the others besides ourselves, and shouted, “Don’t bunch me up with these two!”

What a mess… We couldn’t stand being treated like troublemakers like the other two.

“Tatsu! You think you can just put yourself on the shelf and treat us like we’re the problem, you piece of—!”

“Tetsu, look back at what you’ve done and said! You’ve been jerking us around all today!”

“And I was just cheering you on, wasn’t I?! Being called a troublemaker is just too much!”

Ms. Hoshimiya facepalmed while looking at this repeat of the scene just a few minutes ago. Meanwhile, Ms. Hiiragi…

“…”

Silently, she stood up and slowly walked away to her locker. The teachers around looked with concern, but she paid no mind to any of them. Then, she opened the locker and pulled out something huge from inside…

It was the largest harisen I’ve ever seen. (TL: Harisen roughly means slapping fan. It’s made of paper and is used culturally to play the straight man/funny man comedy thing. Also to slap. I mean, it’s in the name.)

She carried that thing as tall as herself and stared at us like some ogre ready to kill. Looking closely, we could read the words written on that Harisen, with very neat handwriting mind you.

The Dickens.

…I don’t understand its meaning. Huh, I guess it’s a euphemism for something? Huh, regardless it’s the worst name I’ve ever seen in my life, and that didn’t help the teach’s bloodlust in the slightest.

But that size isn’t fashionable in the slightest!

But disregarding style, if one was hit by that thing, they’d be in serious trouble. The best way to escape is to use the thirty-sixth plan.

Still, we were frightened by that figure. She let out a low voice that seemed to rumble from the depths, rocking our bodies, to us who were trying to escape.

“…You’re pretty good if you made me pull out The Dickens… Any last words?” She shot us a sharp glare, her eyes those of a hunter looking at its prey.

“Oh, sh*t. You two! Let’s get outta here!”

“I know. Those aren’t the eyes of a human being anymore!”

With that, we started bolting. Towa was a little behind us.

“Ah, wait, you two, I… Huh?!”

Sha-blam!

“Guh—!”

“—?! Towa!” Tetsu and I screamed after we heard that nuke sound. Looking back, I see Towa’s failed attempt to escape resulting in him being thrown to the side with the sheer force of The Dickens.

When we saw his motionless figure sprawled on the floor, the two of us—

“Whoa! Let’s get the hell outta here while we still can!”

“Well done, Towa! Your sacrifice won’t be in vain!”

The two of us didn’t care and kept running. No way I’m going back, if I stop, I’m gonna pass on with him.

We were about to leave the staff room, abandoning Towa’s corpse behind us as the door seemed ever so close.

“You won’t get away!” She shouted while throwing The Dickens at me. I managed to duck just in time, but it hit Tetsu in the back of his head.

“Guhhf—!”

Sha-blam! Tetsu dove face-first into the floor. His head was pierced by a sniper shot directly to the brain.

Guh, even Tetsu! …But this should mean she’s unarmed!

Since she had no weapon in hand anymore, I could run away safely. If I can manage to do so before she grabs another one…

But in the next moment, when I was so sure of my victory—

Zip!

“What the?!”

The harisen that stuck itself in Tetsu’s head began floating in the air. Looking closely, I noticed a string attached to the handle of The Dickens, which extended itself all the way to the teacher’s hand.

She pulled the string until she was armed once again, Dickens in hand. Just as I thought she’d grab it, it spun around like some sort of puppet boomerang.

“What the—Guh—?!”

Unable to cope with the unexpected attack, I was hit squarely in the face with The Dickens and fell down on the floor. In my fading consciousness, I muttered in my mind that I needed to change the principal’s image of me, as she said on my first day of school.

Actually, the most dangerous person in this school is… Ms… Hiiragi… Guh…

T/N: The Dickens was intentional.