Akuyaku Reijou Ni Nanka Narimasen. Watashi Wa『Futsuu』no Koushaku Reijou Desu! - CH 253

Gods, ritual, and dance.

“…… (Brighten).”

“Oi.”

“Slength-san, what kind of weapon is that?”

“……… (Present it.)”

“I thought so before too, but it’s huge~ this sword. Uwah, heavy!?”

I was able to lift Slength-san’s greatsword, but I don’t think I can swing it.

“Hey.”

“Kanata-san, can you lift this up?”

“Impossible.”

“… If you hive up, that’s the end of the game.”

“Yes, Sensei… I wanna play basketball… At any rate, I’m not going to even try because all I can think of is how my back is going to buckle. You are strange for being able to lift it, Rin-chan.”

“What!? You are rude, Kanata-san!”

“”Listen to people trying to talk!!””

“”Don’t wanna.””

“…… (Nervous.)”

The disappointing man and woman shouted at us, but I had no obligation to deal with them. Slength-san, on the other hand, is a good guy. He was super nervous from the dangerous atmosphere around him.

“… Slength-san is a good fella, huh.”

“Ou. Sometimes, he catches the annoying Gods who disturb my sleep night after night at suitable time, and takes them somewhere away.”

“What a good guy…”

He bent down when I tried to pet him. He’s a giant, like two meters tall, but he’s so cute! He’s as cute as my Totoro. Oh, his hair is so fluffy.

“…… (Embarrassed).”

“Why is Slength the only one the Beneficiaries get along with! Get along with this Lady, too!”

“That’s right! It’s unfair that it’s always Slength!”

“I don’t want to be friends with someone who is a nuisance to me most of the time.”

“I don’t want to be friends with rude people who don’t even identify themselves.”

“”…………””

The disappointing man and woman curled up in a ball at our righteous argument. You are way too mentally weak, oi.

“You guys shine when you pick on other people…”

Shiva said in a dumbfounded tone. I didn’t deny it, but it irritated me, so I threatened him a little.

“You don’t seem to have any remorse, would you like another round of Kabaddi?”

“I truly apologize for my mistakes.”

Shiva got down on his knees impressively.

“What a splendid dogeza.”

“Yeah. The Saintess of Salvation… the former hero also praised me for my skillful showk of remorse.”

That’s not praise, that’s mockery. That’s what I thought, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“By the way, the people disturbing your sleep, including Shiva are…”

“Those guys.”

Kanata-san looked tired. All right, let’s put them down. These two are definitely annoying and have a hint of selfishness, so let’s scare them off carefully.

“New move! Formation K! Come one! Darkness-sama, Sui!”

We formed a circle, holding hands and chanted while spinning in a relaxed manner. Then we started singing the famous nursery rhyme, “Kagome, Kagome.”

“Hi, hiii!?”

“W, what!?”

To be honest, it looks like a weird ritual. This movement makes no sense to non-Japanese people. Sui seems to be enjoying it. He’s a very sadistic person. Darkness-sama thinks it’s a game, right? You’re right.

The Gods were frightened by the mysterious ritual that started out of nowhere. Slength-san, was really freaked out. He’s a really nice guy. Shiva was smirking. Maybe I’ll make him cry later.

“”Hiii…””

Silently, the circle stopped spinning. The disappointing man and woman huddled together, terrified.

“C’mon! Gora-chan!”

“Fuuu~!”

“”Gyaaaaaah!?””

The pervert Gora-chan, who had read my intentions, danced gorgeously in his leafy outfit. The two annoying Gods were panicking at the intense, perverted dance after being subjected to a mysterious ritual that went on and on.

“Kanata-san, here.”

I handed him a magic tool that looked a lot like a pen.

“Eh?”

Then a dazzling light enveloped the surroundings.

“Heaven call, earth call, people call! People are calling for me to defeat the evil blokes! Tsukkomi Warrior☆Kanattaman!! ………… Why the hell!”

Kanata-san… no, Kanattaman was dressed in a bright red Power Ranger-like reinforced suit and was doing his self-tsukkomi. He is the quintessential Tsukkomi Warrior. Incidentally, this is the male version of the Dark History Stick of the Saintess of Salvation. There are also some cool wizard-like outfits available at random, but 90% of the outfits are just joke equipment (but strong).

“Kanattaman! Now is the time to take revenge on the bad guys!”

“…!!”

Kanata-san… no, Kanattaman, who read my intentions, performed a wonderfully perverted combination dance with Gora-chan. What a wonderfully sharp waist movements, Kanattaman! And to top it all off, I threw in two magical girl uncles! Of course, this was an illusion that I created. The strawberry pants were also realistically reproduced. You never know what will come in handy in life, do you?

“Noooo! Get away from meeee!!”

“Waaaaaaah!?”

“”Fuu~!!””

Surrounded by too many weird perverts, the Gods started to cry hard.

“””Ahahahahahaha!””

Sui (sadist) and Shiva (loves seeing other people in trouble) burst out laugh while pointing their fingers.

“What a weird dance.”

Darkness-sama (natural airhead) tilted his head puzzledly.

“………… (Nervous, timid).”

And the greatly perplexed Slength-san (Angel?).

The situation was too chaotic. No, it was me who did it, though, wasn’t it? The perverted collaboration came to an end when Kanattaman ran out of energy.

Gora-chan returned first with a nice smile after the dance. I’m glad you were able to relieve your perverted stress. Kanattaman had a great smile when he took off his disguise. The two magical girl uncles also disappeared to thin air.

“I feel so refreshed!”

You’ve been under a lot of stress, haven’t you? He was making a refreshed expression. It’s the kind of smile that could appear in a soda commercial.

“U, ugh… why are you harrasing us so…”

“Kuh… what a way to treat us.”

“Listen up, alright? Sleep is an important time for us, humans. Anyone who interferes with our sleep, God or not, will experience misfortune caused by me.”

“””We are truly sorryyyy!!”””

Not only the disappointing man and woman, but Shiva also joined in and got down on his knees. He knew exactly what I meant.

“… I might enjoy the lack of sleep when you come around too, Rin-chan.”

“Are you for realz, bro.”

“All real, for sure.”

At any rate, I made him promise to come över once a week or so, since they get annoying every night.