An Obsessive Man Raised Impurely - Chapter 1

The blazing sun poured in through the transparent greenhouse window.

1STKISSNOVEL. DO NOT STEAL MY TRANSLATION!

With a watering can in hand, I watered the plants that were brimming with fresh energy.

 

“Noona, why don’t you hug me anymore?”

My throat tightened as I heard a voice from behind me.

Without fail, that voice would always have an effect on me.

My efforts to avoid him throughout the day were futile, but I tried not to show my disappointment.

“What?”

I turned around slowly and asked calmly.

He came forward, carrying the wistful scent of flowers with him.

‘He’s too close.’

I discreetly averted my eyes.

Because he took another step forward.

 

The sun’s rays fell on the dazzling blond hair fluttering in front of me.

 

Looking at it, I almost said “pretty.” Startled, I covered my mouth with my hands.

 

I couldn’t show any gaps in my defense in front of this dangerous man.

 

You, the villain who’s about to bring about this novel to ruin.

 

I was someone in this novel who could vanish at any time because I had no presence; you could have left me whenever you wanted.

 

But how did you make your way into my heart?

 

“Why don’t you hug me, sleep with me, bathe with me . . .”

 

He trailed off and stared directly at me.

 

I could feel myself slowly burning up as if his eyes were deep pools from a midsummer sea.

 

‘It’s still awkward… now that he’s an adult.’

 

So as usual, I couldn’t maintain eye contact.

 

Noticing my hesitation, he spoke again.

 

“Are we not going to do it together anymore?”

 

“That . . . That was when you were a kid—!”

 

“Why can’t we do it now? Is it because you’re thinking about doing something naughty?”

 

He grinned.

 

With my defenses down, I could feel my entire body heating up.

 

My heart was pounding loudly in my chest, threatening to leap out. I tried to hold on as tightly as I could so that this unruly heart didn’t get caught.

 

‘I don’t think you’ll be able to hear it. I hope you can’t hear it.’

 

I didn’t want to get caught, so I exhaled and pretended nothing had happened.

 

‘After all, you’ll abandon me too.’

 

I didn’t want to give in, so I repeatedly pushed him away.

 

If his arm hadn’t slid around my waist, with his hot breath blowing down my neck, I’d have been able to get away long ago.

 

“You shouldn’t think like that. Whatever your heart desires, go ahead and do it.”

 

The watering can in my hand fell to the ground.

 

The dull thud sounded unusually loud, perhaps because it wasn’t just the watering can that fell down at that moment.

 

By the time I came to my senses, his hot lips were already on the nape of my neck.

 

Aah, how did such a shy little boy turn into such an obsessive man?

 

And how did I end up becoming so defenseless in front of him?

 

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes tightly.

 

* * *

 

When I first met him, it was the middle of the month, and the monsoon season was in full swing.

 

At the beginning of summer, it was so humid that it was hard to breathe.

 

An uninvited guest arrived beneath the vast sky.

 

It was a cloud-less, star-less sky, similar to my life before I met him.

 

On that day, I woke up to find myself in a novel where he was still alive.

 

All supporting characters must be sacrificed in order for the main characters to be happy. That was the case for the tragedy, < I shall walk down the flower path >.

 

The memories of this body flooded into my mind as soon as I opened my eyes.

 

So, I assimilated into this world without much struggle.

 

The memories that came to me told me that I was Lillian Grey, Grand Duke Grey’s youngest daughter.

 

Lillian was a supporting character who died in the middle of the novel.

 

As I took a deep breath for the first time in this body, I felt the urge to laugh bitterly.

 

‘I lived like a beggar my entire life, so I wanted you to kill me. Did I ask you to give me another life?’

 

Even if I cursed God, there was no hope for a miracle. I wouldn’t be going back to my original life.

 

I didn’t want that in the first place, but this wasn’t exactly a blessing in disguise either.

 

I’d wanted to flee since I was a child.

 

A rift, like any other, starts with a tiny crack.

 

‘You’re the older sister here, so you should yield.’

 

‘I don’t want to.’

 

‘Can’t you act like a good older sister and just yield to your younger sibling, child?.’

 

[Sister.]

 

It was a very burdensome title for me.

 

I never asked for it.

 

‘Why am I the one that needs to keep sacrificing?’

 

‘Your younger sister’s sick.’

 

I was born a twin.

 

I was given the title ‘older sister’ simply because I arrived three minutes earlier than she did.

 

‘Can’t you give it to your sister?’

 

My younger sister had been weak ever since she was born.

 

My parents forced me to give up my life for such a sister.

 

The reason was simple.

 

Because I was born first, I must yield.

Even so, it was difficult for a child to understand.

—

‘Since you were born healthy after sucking all the nutrients while in my womb, you should make a small sacrifice for your weak younger sister.’

 

PR/N: Dude, what the hell, how can you say that to a child.

 

‘But . . .’

 

‘Why are you so selfish? You must have taken after your father.’

 

QC/N: Not wanting to give your life is selfish…?

 

I accepted the constant admonishments.

 

Because I was born first.

 

My parents would portray me as a selfish sister because I was born after stealing my sister’s health.

 

My sister was frail.

 

Because I was repeatedly told that I was a selfish sister who made her that way, I eventually thought it was natural to give way to my sister all the time. I lived every single day of my life feeling like a sinner.

 

And because nobody ever told me that this discrimination was wrong, I thought it was normal. That’s how I grew up.

 

—

 

‘You’re starting to look more like a real older sister now. You should keep it up, hm? You should get along well because when your dad isn’t around, you should look after your younger sister.’

 

‘. . .’

 

‘Why aren’t you answering?’

 

‘. . . Yes.’

 

‘How kind, my daughter. I believe in you.’

 

—

 

Because my dad praised me, I worked hard to be a good older sister.

 

I couldn’t remember when it started, but my life became completely devoted to my sister at some point..

 

A good older sister who always yielded; one who cared about her siblings more than anyone else.

 

That became my sole purpose.

 

—

 

‘Did you forget our promise, Mom? You said we could watch a movie together today.’

 

‘Oh my, I completely forgot. Can we put it off until another time?’

 

‘Mom, did something happen?’

 

‘Today, Ji-young wants to go to an amusement park with me.’

 

‘. . . But you promised to come with me one month ago.’

 

‘We can go see it some other time.’

 

‘It has to be today.’

 

‘Why are you so stubborn? Can’t you give way for your sister?’

 

When everyone finally called me a ‘good older sister’. . . I was already broken beyond repair.

 

‘. . . I’m your daughter, too, Mom.’

 

‘Who said you weren’t? Consider it a birthday present for your sister. You’re a good sister, aren’t you?’

 

It was also my birthday.

 

QC/N: Good lord this family

 

It was as if I wasn’t allowed to exist for myself.

 

My parents didn’t seem to need me either.

 

All they wanted was someone to act as a good older sister, just for their daughter.

 

‘I never wanted to be born as an older sister.’

 

‘What exactly are you saying? Do you despise looking after your sister that much? Why are you being so self-centered?’

 

I just wanted my mother and father to love me, to be as happy as my sister, even if only for a split second. Did that really make me selfish?

 

‘Her head must have grown bigger after being spoiled so much . . . I don’t know what’s coming out of her mouth.’

 

—

 

As the number of small cracks increased, all that was left was an empty chest with a large hole in the middle.

 

Darkness eventually swallowed me.

 

Would that emptiness be filled if it was difficult to tell the difference between the darkness around me and the darkness within me?

 

If not, then I’d rather sleep like this forever.

 

While thinking about this, I wandered aimlessly through the vastness of my dream.

 

I had hoped that the darkness would never end, but I was thrown back into the light.

 

When I opened my eyes again, I was given a new name.

 

I became the youngest daughter of the Grey Grand Duchy, the household that protects the Oberdouz Empire. A set up I had read about in a novel.

 

It was a new beginning for me.

 

‘Since I despised being an older sister, I was now the youngest?’

 

It wasn’t even funny.

 

But it didn’t matter.

 

I reincarnated as a supporting character who could be sacrificed for the sake of the main characters.

 

When I opened my eyes, I knew I was going to die in this world anyway, so there was nothing to be excited about.

 

‘There are plenty of ways to die.’

 

I got out of bed.

 

I was surrounded by arched ceilings full of western murals which could only be seen at the Louvre, and I noticed several maids cleaning.

 

“It’s already been a month since the lady collapsed, Jeya.”

 

“What if she doesn’t ever wake up…?” said a maid with freckles as she moved around with her dustpan.

 

“May, watch your language! Don’t even utter that nonsense out loud. You’re going to get into a lot of trouble.”

 

They didn’t seem to notice that I was awake.

 

“Yeah, people don’t die that easily,” a maid with a cotton cloth wrapped tightly around her neck said, stoking the fire.

 

“Gasp!”

 

Startled, the dustpan fell out of the freckled maid’s hands.

 

“What’s wrong, May?”

 

“. . . A-awake.”

 

“What?”

 

“The Young Lady is finally awake!”

 

The girl named May pointed a finger at me, and both maids’ eyes widened.

 

Jeya, who regained her senses, bowed deeply.

 

“I’ll call the doctor.”

 

“There’s no need.”

 

I raised a hand to stop her.

 

“But Milady . . .”

 

“I said I don’t need it.”

 

I only raised my voice a little, but I was already dizzy.

 

‘Of course, there’s a catch.’

 

As I lowered my head to relieve a throbbing headache, light pink hair came into view, a color which resembled dye made from crushed cherry blossom petals.

 

Furthermore, my fingers were white and pale, and my wrists were too thin.

 

I was dressed in a frilly handmade gown with a gold lining.

 

‘It seems that I will die if I let it be and do nothing.’

 

But I didn’t want to wait until then.

 

This new life that had become mine, I wanted to end it on my own terms.

 

“Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.”

 

The maid’s worried voice broke the silence.

 

“If I do, can you get me anything I ask for?”

 

“Of course, Milady. No matter what it is, we’ll get it for you.”

 

Her brown eyes shone with devotion to the master who had returned from the brink of death.

 

Hilarious.

 

These maids didn’t even know that the person in front of them was someone else.

 

“Then let me ask you a favor.”

 

“Please leave it to me, Milady.”

 

The silhouette of one person came to mind.

 

The man who would fulfill my wishes.

 

The world’s greatest villain, who would drive this novel to ruin.

 

I wanted to see him.

 

I was only a supporting character.

 

My role here was to be killed.

 

I knew how and when I would die by his hands.

 

The memory of this novel’s plot hadn’t faded yet, even though I’d read it a long time ago.

 

Others might want to avoid him as much as possible, but my intentions were different.

 

Rather, that’s exactly what I wanted, so it didn’t matter.

 

“I want to find someone.”

 

I intended to meet him sooner than the original timeline dictated.