An Obsessive Man Raised Impurely - Chapter 2

“If you tell me where that person lives, I’ll bring them here right away.”

1STKISSNOVEL. DO NOT STEAL MY TRANSLATION!

The maid was polite.

However, the gaze aimed at me made me feel uneasy.

This was because I had been trying to sneak out the entire time.

“No, I’ll go myself.”

“You’ve just awoken from a coma that lasted a month. It will strain your body if you go out right away.”

“I’m aware of my limitations. Get out of my way, I’m fine.”

“But, His Grace is on his way back. If you go out alone . . .”

“I’ll take an escort with me and I’ll be right back, okay?”

‘It’s unpleasant.’

Despite the fact that they sounded worried, their tone was sarcastic.

They won’t let me go if I say I’m about to jump to my own death.

They’d go berserk if they knew I was going to look for the person who’d kill me.

‘I’m sure they’ll call my brother at the academy.’

After having been left alone in despair and neglected for a long time, the soul that was there was completely gone now.

When a person feels trapped in this state, cruel words repeated over and over again become weapons capable of pushing them over the edge.

I knew exactly how that felt.

The thorns in my heart had grown out of control and were still trying to try to eat me alive.

However, it was impossible to stop.

Contrary to the dark thoughts in my mind, my lips spoke freely.

It was the best defense I could muster to protect myself, the instinct of sharper words to retaliate against my opponents. It was a result of my personal experiences.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

The maid’s dark brown eyes trembled.

I didn’t want to be bothered by her anymore, so I took a step back and glanced at the window.

“I’ll be back before nightfall,” I replied, my gaze fixed on the pouring rain.

Jeya paused for a moment before agreeing, sighing as she left the room with May, saying she’d prepare the carriage.

I thought it was lucky that the maid yielded to my demands.

Then, I was struck by the idea that it was amusing how I felt this was a ‘lucky’ thing.

Just a few moments ago, I was cursing the unfairness of my current situation in this world.

Instead of dwelling on that, I focused my attention on the beauty outside the window.

It was the vast territory of the Grey Grand Duchy.

Heavy rain poured everywhere, creating a stunning, yet muddy sight.

Thick raindrops filled in those countless gaps.

Perhaps because of my victim mindset, it all seemed like an illusion.

Maybe it was all real?

I lowered my gaze.

The distinctive insignia of the Grey family was engraved on the button on my wrist.

Grand Ducal Princess Lillian Grey, who was adored by her family.

Loved. She was loved. It was entirely different from my life.

My chapped lips gradually curved upward.

‘I had to work hard to become a good sister. All I wanted was a compliment.’

But for Lillian, love came to her naturally from the day she was born.

As natural as a fish swimming in water or a tree taking root in the ground.

Whatever it was that I couldn’t get in my previous life, I couldn’t believe I had gotten it so easily now.

I was free. But at the same time, I could still feel shackles pinning me down.

Even if I struggled behind the transparent bars created by the raindrops, I couldn’t shake off the feeling.

I felt suffocated. Maybe the humidity was too much for this body.

“Milady, it’s ready.”

Guards remained alert in the pouring rain, keeping an eye on my safety.

I exhaled in relief as I followed the maid out of the estate, realizing that Lillian’s father, Grand Duke Grey, wasn’t here.

“Which carriage would you like to use?”

Hundreds of carriages were lined up and ready to depart. I chuckled.

‘They really care about Lillian.’

I shuddered slightly because I didn’t want to savor the affection meant for another person.

“Whatever works best.”

“His Grace gave the order for you to be constantly alert and never wander far from your guards.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

It made no difference what carriage I picked or how I presented myself outside. A person who is going to die should not be concerned about the coffin they will be placed in.

So, in the end, I went with the carriage that had the most unique and colorful design.

Nobody said anything. It was ridiculous, even to me.

Until that point, I believed I could confidently ask you to murder me.

Now that I think about it, it was a very arrogant and cowardly act.

After all, my fate was predicated by your demise.

* * *

The world outside the carriage’s window was tiny. Raindrops fell when I reached out to touch that cramped world. Even though it was midsummer rain, the weather was rather chilly.

Droplets could be seen forming over the buttons on my wrist.

“They’ll go insane once they learn that Lillian, who awoke after a month, has suddenly disappeared.”

I remembered them even though I hadn’t seen their faces.

It wasn’t hard to imagine since they were portrayed well in the novel.

The father of this body, the Grand Duke of Grey, was well-known as a fool when it came to his daughter.

Of course, he cared for his firstborn son as well, since he would succeed him, but he was especially fond of Lillian.

It was because the Duchess died unexpectedly.

‘To be exact, she disappeared.’

The news of the Duchess’s abduction shook the Empire twenty years ago.

Some even said, “Is God playing a joke?”

Even so, the puzzle pieces didn’t fit together, and the evidence left behind was too insufficient.

Twenty years later, Grand Duke Grey was still on the hunt for his bride.

‘She might be as good as dead already.’

Ever since that incident, Duke Grey gave Lillian more attention as she grew older.

Her fragile condition drew his attention, but the other factors were more important.

‘Maybe it was because Lillian was like a mirror image of the Duchess.’

The darkness that had crept in through the carriage window quivered as if it were being drenched by rain.

As I drew my hand away from the window, I folded it neatly across my lap, my fingers leaving a trace on the dress.

When I was touching the stained cloth, the carriage stopped.

“Milady, we’ve arrived at Dr. Pepper’s house.”

TL/N: …it’s really doctor pepper, the soda, yep. …why am I getting 707 vibes

I got off the carriage with an escort, who also played the role of a horseman.

It was still pouring heavily.

I took the umbrella from him and looked around.

There was a fountain in front of a statue of a newborn angel and a white dragon, with various-sized buildings behind it.

The world was gray, like the gloomy sky above.

“I apologize, Milady. We should have gone deeper down  the alley, but the carriage won’t be able to continue due to the muddy ground.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll escort you carefully so you won’t feel uncomfortable.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll go alone from here on.”

“His Grace would never forgive me if I sent you alone, Milady.”

The escort stood firm in front of me.

Without an umbrella, his body was vulnerable under the overcast sky.

The raindrops sliding down his armor caught my eye.

Again, I felt suffocated by the generosity that wasn’t meant for me.

It made me so uncomfortable that I had no choice but to sharpen my words again.

“Sir.”

The escort was surprised by my change in demeanor.

‘Because I’m not the lady he knows.’

Lillian was originally gentle and loving as if she were sunlight personified.

She wasn’t likely capable of speaking such harsh words.

But what else could I possibly do? I’m not her. I could only rely on these words.

Sharp words poured out like raindrops.

“You have no right to control me.”

The escort was unable to react.

Even after spitting out everything I was feeling inside, I didn’t feel any better.

“Well then, I’ll just stay here and wait for your return. Please yell if something happens…”

Flustered, I quickly walked away from the escort.

After strolling down three blocks along the side of the center fountain in the square, the scene from the novel finally came to life in front of me.

Like the house with a purple roof in the alley.

The rain didn’t stop as I headed to my destination.

“Sir Grand Mage.”

It was too early for him to appear.

No first name, no last name. Just ‘Mage’.

It was more of a title than a name at first, but it ultimately became a name for him since everyone called him that.

Wasn’t there a saying that people live their lives according to their name?

He grew up to be an unloved person, just as he was left without a name.

To be honest, we had a lot in common.

‘No one will ever love us wholeheartedly.’

Just as my parents loved my sister more than me, his parents sold him off to the Imperial Family because he had great potential.

It was inevitable.

Why was there such a gap between rich and poor, especially when it came to love?

The resentment I could feel boiling within me had no recipient.

I hurried my steps as I felt a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow down or spit out.

I didn’t even realize that the dirt was ruining the borders of my dress.

When I finally arrived in front of Dr. Pepper’s house, I recognized him right away, despite the fact that I’d never met him before.

I approached a five- or six-year-old boy who was crouching beneath the eaves to avoid the rain.

“. . . I found you.”

Whether the gentle whisper reached him through the hammering rain or not, the blue sea within his gaze wavered.

As soon as he made eye contact with me, he hurriedly avoided my gaze.

Rain had soaked his disheveled light cream blond hair.

I could see his pale lips munching on something.

He seemed to want to say something, but he remained silent, so I spoke first.

“Hey. Come with me.”

It was a pretty impulsive statement.

He finally met my gaze again.

“I’m here to pick you up.”

I reached out my hand.

But as expected, he didn’t take it.

Instead of the warmth of his touch, icy raindrops landed on the palm of my hand, as if mocking me.

Embarrassed, I retracted my hand.

I kept my gaze fixed on him, waiting for him to look back at me again.

I could feel something twisting inside me; the idea that, he too, had no idea what warmth from another person felt like.

It was stirring within me.

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“. . .”

I quietly bridged the gap between us.

Unconsciously trying to step back, he was clearly frustrated when he realized that there was a wall behind him.

His thoughts were clear as day on his face.

Perhaps it was because his body turned into a child’s, but it was easy to read how he felt.

His eye level was lower than Lillian’s, even though she was smaller than most women, so I bent down to meet his gaze.

He was obviously a five-year-old child, but the face I had seen on the cover of the novel was clear in my mind.

He had the same mole under his right eye.

He was originally twenty-five years old, but I knew why he looked like this now.

‘Because of a spell.’

Mana deprivation felt like a ‘cold’ to a wizard.

When a mage uses too much mana, he’ll be exhausted.

In his case, though he had a vast mana pool compared to others, his symptoms were different.

When he runs out of mana, he turns into a child.

It was a unique case.

Because he had a lot of mana, the rate of recovery was on a higher scale, thus he takes on the look of a child.

It was his body’s method of coping, allowing him to recover as quickly as possible by reducing the amount of energy he needed to use.

This was a temporary side effect. Mana exhaustion was quite common amongst the wizards of the Oberdouz Empire.

Although in his case, it was almost like a chronic illness due to the Emperor’s periodic abuse of his mana.

‘I hope he recovers as soon as possible.’

That way, I can ask you to kill me with that mana of yours.

‘No matter how much longer I live, I won’t be loved anyway.’

I just want to die as soon as possible.

I spat out the lie as if it were a filthy wish.

“I’m worried about you.”

I said as I leaned down to meet his eyes.

Even though I knew it would get my shoulders wet, I moved the umbrella towards him.

With a gentle smile on my lips, I muttered.

“I’ll protect you.”

All of my actions were carefully planned.