Astrid The Hybrid Princess - Chapter 294 Guilt and Regre

“What do you mean by that? Are you taking his side?” Owen questioned Cullen. He was already feeling betrayed by his friend.

“I am not taking sides but looking at this matter from both points of view and judging fairly.”

“How is this judging fairly?”

“Up until now you still have not realized that your destiny is in your hands? You decide what you want to be and how you want to live your life. Yes, I know the way you lived your life up until this moment my prince was based on the things happening in your family and environment but still, it was not a yardstick to mark your life that way.”

Cullen paused for some seconds to let his words sink in before he continued.

“What I am saying is that when you decided to pick yourself up, did you need someone to make the decision for you? No. It was your choice. In this life everything we do is governed by choice and if you had chosen to make the late queen proud and become a better man than your father, then you could have and no one could say otherwise. Even though people did and tried to tamper with your fate, it won’t work because where there is hope, there is life.”

Owen’s eyes began to lighten up as Cullen’s words were making sense and touching him deeply.

It was true, he too had a hand to play in how he lived his life.

All through his life he found it easier to just blame his father and live anyhow when he could have picked himself up, one thing his mother and father never did and be the better man than his parents.

Yes, there were people who have had it worse than he did, at least for him he still had the royal life but some have nothing in this life and they never repented.

They pushed on. Kept on trying till they pushed their life in the direction they desired.

What did he do in his time? He simply wasted the golden opportunity that he had and that was it. Cullen’s words really were getting to him and he did not know how to act or what to do.

He equally was as guilty as his father, if not more guilty. He owed it to himself to try and give himself all he wanted and even open his heart to love again but he chose not to.

He needed to first forgive himself for the errors in his life before he could forgive his father and they can both move on and gear towards a brighter and better future.

“I hope you see now that it goes two ways. What are the factors that make up a man? His family, environment, his peers, those he chose to surround himself with. Owen, it is not still too late. Things can change and you both can make it right and right the wrongs you made before more wrongs are made.”

Who knew Cullen had it on him to bridge the rift between the father and son for years just from his speech?

King Bayard could not be more thankful that Cullen was present today or he may never be able to mend his ties with his son.

“My son, Owen. I am sorry. So sorry for the heartache I caused and left you to bear it all alone.”

Bayard pleaded with him and soon, a stream of tears flowed down his face as he begged for his son’s forgiveness.

“I know this is not easy for you, Owen but please reconsider. Help his majesty make amends and make things right,” Cullen pleaded.

“I want to but I do not know how to. The pain has been too much and I know ii tried to hide it but it still hurts. All those wasted years. I do not really blame him but I blame myself. It was easier to blame him than face the inner guilt that killed me each day.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“I have never stopped blaming myself for my mother’s death. If I had tried, if I had been stronger, if I had talked to my father about how much she was hurting, maybe, just maybe he would have noticed her suffering and stop and she would not have died.”

“Owen,” Cullen muttered to himself. His eyes dimmed further in their sockets as realization dawned on him.

It was much easier to blame someone and forgive the person. What was harder was forgiving oneself when there were self-guilt and regret.

And that was what the prince had found himself in. He did not know how to love anyone when he had not loved himself.

In order to draw the attention away from the truth, he placed the blame on his father and tried to live on, hating the king when in actual fact he hated himself for his inadequacies.

The next thing that happened shocked everyone as Bayard stood up and rushed to hug open in his arms.

Both Cullen and Owen had least expected for such an outcome.

“I am so sorry to have left you with such a burden and heartache. It was never your fault, any of this, none of it was yours or your burden to bear.” Bayard closed his eyes, hugging him tighter.

“No, it was.”

“Owen, it never was. Not yours or your mother’s. It was mine, mine and mine alone. I placed the burden I should bear as a husband upon your young shoulders. I am so sorry. No child should have to go through what you did. Please let me make this right. Forgive yourself, son, there was nothing you could do when two of us were like that.”

“But father, there was something I could do. I could have used my influence as a child to make you and mother talk to each other about the pains and hurt.”

“No, my son. We failed to see it. I failed to see it and only realized after it was too late and she was gone. Our marriage’s failure was never your fault. I just want you to understand and forgive yourself, please.”

This was all Bayard could do now for his son. Show him how to forgive himself and let it go.