Author's Reincarnation in a Fantasy Setting - Chapter 361: Trust [1]
“Nine hundred ninety-seven”
“Nine hundred ninety-eight”
“Nine hundred ninety-nine”
“One thousand!”
As those last two words left my mouth I let myself fall on the ground beneath. Turning around on my back I looked at the ceiling while breathing heavily from my mouth.
This was my first time doing a thousand pushups in a single set and to be honest, it was a little more harder than I expected.
There were a lot of things going on and I needed to become as strong as possible in order to deal with them, that’s why I was doing everything I could in order to push myself to my very limits.
The physical workout consisting of a thousand pushups, five thousand sit-ups, and a two-hour-long plank was a part of it.
After resting for a bit I picked myself up on my feet. I wiped my sweat off and then wore my uniform back as I was training shirtless.
Once I was done with it I left the training room and headed toward the dorm buildings. I had gone for training after I was done with evening and by the time I came out it was night.
The sun had gone down behind the clouds and the shining bright moon was up in the sky. I changed my plan a bit and went to the cafeteria before going to my room since I was getting a bit hungry and when I was done with that I headed for the dorms.
I got up to my floor and stood before the door of my apartment. I entered the key and unlocked it, opening the door and stepping aside.
As I went inside I was more or less tired and had no plans but to go to sleep, however, what I saw inside changed that.
In front of the large window in my room, bathing in the bright moonlight was the figure of a girl. Her ocean-blue colored hair was matching well with the rest of the night sky behind her and her deep red eyes contrasted beautifully with the luminous moon.
“Req,” the words left my mouth on their own.
Noticing my presence she turned toward me. However, before she could say anything I walked to her with an increased pace and pulled her in my arms.
“I’m so glad you are back,” I said while hugging her tightly.
“Yeah, it’s as a thought…” she said, though her voice was low as if she was just talking to herself.
“You know Zero you don’t need to do this,” she appealed, looking at me.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I was a little confused by those words.
“Ah, I guess you won’t understand. Well, listen then,” she said.
“You see, when you leave your physical body and become a spiritual lifeform there are many benefits that come along with that. Like you won’t age, you won’t easily die, you won’t get hungry, you won’t have to sleep, you won’t feel pain, you can levitate freely in the air, and many things like that.
“However, there are many cons to that as well. You stop feeling anything. You can’t taste any food, you can’t smell any fragrance, you can’t feel touch, you can’t feel the warmth of another person…You are alive, but yet for some reason, it seems like you died long ago.”
As she finished her words the color from my face had almost drained. I instantly knew what she was hinting at by telling me all this.
The fact that she can’t feel touch meant that no matter what I did to her she won’t feel it. If I touch her it would mean nothing, if I pat her head it would mean nothing, if I hug her it would mean nothing, even if I go ahead and kiss her she won’t feel a thing.
That means all this time when I thought I had been successful in manipulating her feelings, I had in reality done nothing at all.
The plan I carried out in the cave was to kiss her and engage in romantic physical activity with her so that I could stimulate her senses which would release tons of dopamine in her brain and in that state, she would have clouded judgment.
It would be easier to break through her when she’s like that and make her agree to my words. That’s what I did, or well, thought that I was doing.
However, if she does not feel anything means that back then was the same. She was not stimulated, and there was no dopamine release in her brain. All the time she was completely sane and had a hold of her judgment.
I let go of her and took a step back. “If you were aware of everything then why did you agree to my words? You must have noticed that I was just trying to manipulate your feelings so that I could use you,” I asked.
“Because I don’t mind being used by you, Zero,” she replied. “Do you remember the time when you freed me by releasing the seal in the labyrinth? From that point on you were my master, I am here so that I can be of use to you. Why don’t you understand that?”
“I don’t understand that because I don’t trust you. I will give it to you straight since there’s no point in hiding that now. I don’t trust you, I don’t trust anyone. Heck I don’t even trust myself completely—that’s why I always have backup plans,” I stated.
“You are lying…to yourself,” she said.
“Huh?! What do you mean?”
“If you really didn’t trust me then back when we were fighting the demons you wouldn’t have left yourself vulnerable in front of me. You were badly injured that time and if I wanted to, I could have killed you easily. The fact that you let me take care of you proves that you do in fact trust me,” she explained.
“That’s nonsense! I simply did not have another choice at that time!”
“You just said that you always have backups, didn’t you? If that is true then why you didn’t have a plan for a situation like that? Maybe that was because somewhere in your mind you knew that I didn’t pose a threat to you and that you could rely on me.”