Back When My Wife Was a Teenager - Chapter 48
Beihuai has rarely seen his father since he can remember.
Mom always ignored her and didn’t like her being close to her.
The house is so big that she will always be a little lonely alone.
Later, my father came back suddenly one day with a very beautiful and weak aunt.
She ran to her father happily, and that was the first time that a serious father smiled at her.
“Good, call Aunt Ye.”
Before she could shout, she was dragged aside by her mother abruptly.
Mother is so strong, her arm hurts so much.
But she didn’t dare to scream, so she could only endure grievingly.
Because this was the first time she saw her mother arguing in front of her father, her mother who was so elegant and ladylike in front of her father suddenly became hysterical.
Later, she only remembered that her father and aunt left together and never came back.
Since that day, my mother looked like a different person.
I ignored her in the past, but now I put all my attention on her.
Xiao Beihuai was a little happy at first.
But gradually, this extreme control made her breathless.
At first, her mother gently coaxed her to take a cold bath.
She couldn’t stand the cold, shivering, crying and begging.
Mom just said softly and coldly: “Good, bear with me.”
In the middle of the night, she really had a high fever. When she was half-conscious, she saw that her mother was not sending her to the hospital the first time, but calling her father to cry.
After hanging up the phone, the helpless expression on his mother’s face disappeared instantly.
She was sobbing uncomfortably.
Mother patted her head, even with a little smile: “It’s a good job, your father will be here soon.”
She didn’t feel happy, but was very wronged and uncomfortable.
It’s a pity to do this trick several times, and it will bore Bei Rong.
Therefore, after Bei Qi was born, Yun Manzhu switched to another model and demanded little Beihuai everywhere.
As long as Xiao Beihuai didn’t do a good job, he would fight or scold.
But sometimes she became very gentle again, and when she saw the scars on Xiao Beihuai’s body, she would cry bitterly and confess.
At that time, Xiao Beihuai was still behaved. She thought she was not good enough, so her mother was angry. She worked desperately, she was studying when others were playing, and she was still studying when others were sleeping.
She is like a spinning top, turning non-stop, but only longing for a smile from her mother.
Later, she met Cen Jin. Perhaps her familiar family background made her pay special attention to this girl.
Under Cen Jin’s enlightenment, she went home and tried to tell her mother: “When I grow up, I can protect you by myself, I don’t need my father anymore.”
However, the result of this sentence was Yun Manzhu’s furious curse.
All kinds of ruthless remarks, all kinds of sharp and piercing insults.
Bei Huai let her mother use a long ruler to draw her without saying a word.
She even thought blankly, is she really bad?
But when she saw the indifferent and mean mother facing Bei Rong, even the unrelated Bei Qi, the genuine tenderness between her brows and eyes, she suddenly realized.
It turns out that her existence is the original sin.
In this deformed and distorted home, her existence is superfluous.
Yun Manzhu only loves Bei Rong, and Bei Rong only loves his Bai Yueguang and his son.
Where is Beihuai?
No one loves Beihuai.
She was just a tool Yun Manzhu used to please Bei Rong. Even her hard work and her excellence were only because Yun Manzhu wanted to make Bei Rong happy.
As for Yun Manzhu, she actually didn’t care at all.
At the moment of thorough understanding, Beihuai changed.
She became misogynistic and stubborn. She got tattoos on the scars on her arms. She began to dress up indecently, skipping classes, fighting, and fighting. From a well-behaved top student to a bad girl who hates dogs.
No one can appreciate the pain and loneliness in her heart, she lacks security, she lacks love, she lacks everything, but disguise herself as invulnerable.
The girl’s rebellious period is always aggressive, and she brazenly confronts her mother. Yun Manzhu asked her to please Bei Rong and make Bei Rong happy, but she wanted to do the opposite.
So Bei Rong hated this unbelievable and embarrassing daughter, and his mother would hate Beihuai more and beat her harder. After the fight, he would hold her and cry, crying that it was not easy for him. In the past, Beihuai would Softhearted, she would forgive her mother, but later, she just let her mother hold her with no expression on her face, her eyes were like stagnant water, without the slightest anger.
Bei Huai had been suppressed by her mother for too long, so she also released her crazy and unscrupulous outside. She used her arrogant behavior to cover up the desolation and desolation in her heart.
Later, she went to a university in W city. It was not a good school, but she could stay far away from Yun Manzhu and the Bei family.
In the new place, she tried to get out of the haze and plan for her future.
Bei Qi contacted her when she was in her sophomore year. This kid was in her sophomore year, and when he was nervous about studying, she begged her to take him to the FA e-sports competition.
The e-sports competition is located in W city, and no one knows Beiqi except Beihuai. The journey is far away, he is unfamiliar with the place of life, and his parents think that he is ignorant, and his family will not allow him to go.
He really has no other way, only to ask Beihuai.
The half-brother called her sister softly. Bei Huai felt a little softened, and as a result, he was suddenly killed in a car accident on the way there. Bei Qi was killed on the spot and Bei Huai was seriously injured. He lost his life.
It was raining heavily and the road was slippery in darkness.
There was always a traffic jam on the road, and Bei Qi was afraid of missing it. Hearing a driver’s eldest brother’s words, he urged Beihuai to detour from the small road.
Unexpectedly, the mountain on the side of the road was washed down by heavy rain, and the car was directly overwhelmed.
Bei Qi’s mother was domestically assaulted by her ex-husband in the early years, and her body was bad. Hearing this bad news, she suddenly died of a heart attack.
Bei Rong had lost his wife and children and hated Bei Huai so badly that he even wanted to kill her in the ward.
At that time, Bei Huai had just returned from the Guimen Pass, and he was lying on the hospital bed, and his whole body was extremely weak.
She was squeezed by the manic man’s neck, almost in the will to survive, and she touched her hand on the table beside her, no matter what she touched, she pierced towards the man.
When the hand on the neck was loosened, Bei Huai subconsciously pushed him away.
But he never thought that the man was unstable and fell straight back, knocking his head on the corner of the iron table, unconscious.
Hearing the movement, Yun Manzhu broke in, saw the scene in front of him, and screamed.
It was also at this time that Beihuai realized that what he had touched indiscriminately was a fruit knife, and the tip of the knife was still stained with blood at this moment.
Bei Rong was hurriedly sent for rescue.
Rescue to no avail.
Yun Manzhu cried bitterly, kicked and bitten at Bei Huai, and even called the police that Bei Huai deliberately killed Bei Rong.
There was no surveillance in the ward. The blood on the knife belonged to Bei Rong, and the fingerprints on the hilt of the knife and the fingerprints on Bei Rong’s clothes were definitely from Bei Rong. Bei Rong had a certain motive for committing the crime, and Yun Manzhu, the biological mother of Bei Rong, identified it. .
All the evidence shows that Beihuai is the murderer.
Beihuai didn’t make any excuses, but listened to the judge’s final verdict in a dull manner with hollow eyes.
She did not hire a lawyer, and stood alone in the dock, as if abandoned by the whole world.
Bei Qi is dead, Aunt Ye is dead, Bei Rong is also dead.
Are dead.
She couldn’t figure out why it was like this, and she didn’t want to think about it.
So be it.
After a while, Yun Manzhu regretted it again, and ran to the prison crying to see Beihuai and wanted to reverse her case.
Bei Huai refused and didn’t see her either.
What does it feel like to feel like a dead heart, probably so.
***
As a psychological counseling intern, Beihuai was the first prisoner Jiang Wan met in the prison with his instructor.
I heard from prison guards that this man’s will to survive is very weak. He has committed suicide several times in prison, and self-harm is commonplace.
This is the first time Jiang Wan has seen Beihuai.
One is a psychological counseling intern, and the other is a prisoner.
She stood aside, silently watching the tutor ask patiently.
The woman’s eyelashes were drooping, and her skin became paler under the light.
She is beautiful, not in the traditional sense, but with a strong offensive beauty. The thin face adds a bit of sharpness to it.
She was indifferent to the mentor’s question.
It is not the provocation of other prisoners, but a state of wantlessness.
More hollow and numb like a walking dead.
Jiang Wan didn’t say a word to Bei Huai during this session, but she deeply remembered this lifeless woman.
This is the first time she has such a strong interest in a person after bidding farewell to her dancing career.
It’s hard to describe this feeling.
By writing a monograph, she began to go in and out of the prison frequently, and slowly, she learned the story behind Beihuai.
Very absurd and very sad.
I feel more distressed in my interest in her.
As long as there is a chance, she will give Beihuai psychological counseling.
Unlike her mentor, she did not ask specific questions, but shared her daily life and troubles.
At this time, Beihuai is a qualified listener.
Gradually, Jiang Wan became accustomed to releasing his true self in front of Beihuai.
Since her spine injury, her temperament has changed drastically, but in order not to worry her parents and friends, she can only suppress herself, pretending to be the gentle and optimistic Jiang Wan before.
But in front of Bei Huai, she didn’t have to worry so much.
And Beihuai also didn’t respond from the beginning to occasionally answering a few words later, and then when he saw Jiang Wan later, a faint light would rise in his eyes.
When she saw an dishonest prisoner teasing Jiang Wan, she even beat the prisoner, even if she was reprimanded by the prison guards, she would never admit her mistake.
Later, Jiang Wanhui brought a lot of books to Beihuai, trying to divert her attention and find something to do for her.
Unexpectedly, Beihuai was gifted in physics, and even pointed out a mistake in a professor’s paper in the latest issue of Physics. Others may have just laughed off, did not take Beihuai’s words to heart at all, only Jiang Wan believed her, and even ran around, just to prove that Beihuai’s words were correct.
The professor was not a self-proclaimed person, and admitted his mistake after repeated verifications.
He even went to the prison to discuss some academic issues with Beihuai, and then applied to Beihuai for the opportunity to participate in scientific research.
After the release of the latest research results, Beihuai was also able to commute his sentence.
On the day Beihuai was released from prison, only Cen Jin and Jiang Wan came.
Yun Manzhu seems to be missing, and Bei Huai has never looked for her either.
On the recommendation of the professor, Bei Huai worked as an assistant in a scientific research institute, but perhaps it was because of the jail time that some people in the institute always excluded her intentionally or unintentionally. Her achievements are always signed by others.
These Beihuai didn’t actually care. She did this only because she could feel that she was alive only when she was doing the experiment.
Jiang Wan was worried about Beihuai’s condition and always went to see her on the grounds of counseling. Jiang Wan was like a little sun, enthusiastic, cheerful, and bright as a flower. All the praises could not be too much to add to her. The two of them seemed to be two extremes. Bei Huai was afraid of being burned by the light but desperately yearned for the light.
The two get along more and more harmoniously.
During this period, Jiang Wan confessed no less than five times.
Without exception, Beihuai gently and euphemistically refused.
Jiang Wan was not discouraged, let alone give up.
Fearing that Beihuai would be sick alone, Jiang Wan forced her to enroll in a tourist group. Unexpectedly, there was an earthquake in the place. The two were buried in the rubble. Jiang Wan felt guilty and fearful. Beihuai But he kept holding her hand, encouraging her with a gentle voice, and told her not to sleep.
When the rescue team dug them out, Jiang Wan saw that Beihuai was stuck in the back by two steel bars, dripping with blood. He was almost unable to hold on, but he still insisted on talking to her to prevent her from being afraid. .
Beihuai has been lying in the hospital for several months. Jiang Wan ran in and out, and it didn’t last a day. From that moment, Jiang Wan had already decided that no matter how her parents objected, no matter how Beihuai refused, she must talk to Beihuai. Together, no one can stop.
Under Jiang Wan’s insistence day after day, Beihuai finally let go. After marriage, there is no difference between before marriage. Jiang Wan is becoming more and more famous in the psychological industry, but no matter how good she is, she can’t help her wife.
In fact, if it hadn’t been for career and Jiang Wan, Beihuai would have long been unable to survive, and now the career can’t bring her vitality, only Jiang Wan can make her leave a trace of memorabilia to the world, but her illness is still getting worse and worse.
Severe depression, bipolar disorder, insomnia, headache, tinnitus, madness.
When she was ill, she dared not let Jiang Wan see her, so she could only hide in the bathroom, biting her back. Jiang Wan guarded outside the bathroom door, desperately suppressing his crying.
She was still too late, and she couldn’t save her lover.
Beihuai was getting thinner and thinner. She couldn’t eat or sleep. Every day she was alive was a torment for her. Jiang Wan found it no less than five times just by self-harm.
Jiang Wan was helpless and frightened. She was a psychologist, but she could not save her lover. This was an unpleasant torture for her.
“If you didn’t meet me, my evening would be very happy.” Bei Huai always said to her.
But only Jiang Wan knew that she would feel happy with Beihuai by her side.
Beihuai loves her, she knows.
Her Xiaobei will tie her hair tenderly, help her tidy up things carefully, remember her menstrual period, boil brown sugar water for her, prepare surprises for her on her birthday, and take care of her carefully. She will help her analyze the problems at work.
It’s just that Beihuai’s love is too silent, always giving silently, silently forbearing, and silently dying. Perhaps it was a past experience that made Beihuai not know how to love someone, but Jiang Wan was willing to teach her, she was willing.
But Beihuai was too tired, she was really too tired, she had worked very hard to live for the night, but alive was too tired, she had a knot in her heart, too deep, so deep that no one could untie it.
One day, Jiang Wan got news that it was a newly developed drug that could effectively relieve depression. She happily kissed Beihuai several times, so that she obediently waited for her to come back, and let the nanny watch carefully.
Beihuai smiled and watched her go out. She was standing in front of the window, watching her late step by step out of her sight.
Her smile slowly disappeared, and the nanny watched her nervously, all the controlled knives in the house were put away. Seeing her aunt’s nervousness, Bei Huai couldn’t help but smile. She wouldn’t commit suicide, and let her wait for her in the evening. How could she bear the heart to make her wait.
She said that she wanted to go for a walk, and the nanny was happy and worried. She shouldn’t have been bored at home like a depressed patient.
Beihuai walked to the park and sat in the park, watching a few children playing and fighting not far away. She took it very seriously, perhaps because she lacked this kind of happiness in her childhood, which made her especially envious.
Suddenly she noticed that the flowerpot of a family in the high-rise building of the community fell down, and a little girl happened to be standing below, smiling ignorantly.
Without hesitation, Bei Huai shouted “Get out”, and at the same time rushed forward to push the little girl away, but after all, there was a distance between the two. It was too late when she went up, so she could only use her body. Protect the girl.
The flowerpot hit the back of her head so hard that she was convulsed with pain.
The babysitter ran forward in horror, shaking his hands and took out his cell phone to dial 120.
Beihuai fell to the ground, everything around it seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, and the world in front of her became blurred.
It hurts.
When will you come back late? I miss you.
She whispered softly, her consciousness gradually plunged into darkness.
***
Beihuai’s death was an accident. Although she committed suicide many times, it was at the time of the illness. Jiang Wan asked her to wait for her to come back. She couldn’t speak but count.
Jiang was happy when he left late, but when he came back he was blank, his eyes full of helplessness and despair.
Only then did she know that people couldn’t cry when they were sad to the extreme.
The eye sockets were very dry and astringent, and the eyes were so red that they dripped blood, but they couldn’t shed a single tear.
She didn’t even know how she went to the hospital, how to deal with the funeral, and how she returned home.
She sat on the sofa stupidly, as if she had lost her soul. I didn’t know how long she had passed. She dragged her steps to the refrigerator, opened the refrigerator, and took out a can of beer, but her eyes suddenly solidified on the can of the beer can.
A note was pasted on it.
——Hey, put it back and drink less
This is written by Bei Huai, and she always likes to make small marks for her.
She put the beer back indifferently and turned to take a bath. She went to find her pajamas, but she couldn’t find the one she wanted to wear. After looking for it several times, she subconsciously shouted: “Xiao Bei, where is the blue striped pajamas you bought for me.”
After shouting, she froze for a second, and then continued to look for it. She walked around in the bedroom several times and couldn’t find it. Suddenly, she must have walked to the balcony, and there was a storage basket next to her. Her pajamas were in it.
It must have just been collected by the aunt, Xiaobei had not had time to put them in the closet. Xiaobei had always put these things in himself. All of her clothes are taken care of by Xiaobei himself, and he can’t find where it is. Asking Xiaobei is right.
She didn’t cry when she heard that Beihuai died. She didn’t cry when she saw Beihuai’s body covered with white cloth. She didn’t cry when the family members of the rescued kneeled to thank her, nor did she cry after returning.
She is an adult, and she is already able to deal with emotions.
But at this moment, Jiang Wan grabbed the pajamas and squatted on the ground, crying loudly.
She cried desperately.
Because she knows.
The one who would hug her and kiss her teary eyelashes so that she would stop crying would never show up again.
Since Beihuai’s death, Jiang’s father and Jiang’s mother have been particularly worried about Jiang Wan, fearing that she would do something stupid.
Even the customs abroad made a special trip back home.
Jiang Wan smiled and assured them that she was not that vulnerable yet.
But only she knew that the black hole in her heart expanded little by little until she swallowed her whole person.
She didn’t resist, or rather, she didn’t even have the idea of resisting at all.
Even dealing with her parents and friends took her last bit of effort.
So when a car accident happened, her first thought was not fear, but relief.
She thought, it would be great if she could return to Xiaobei’s youth.
I really want to see Xiaobei’s shining eyes at that time, and she wants to save her.
I really want to.
The author has something to say: put the knife in the middle of the night
Jie Jie Jie Jie
It’s too long. Fix it tomorrow.
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Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!