Bad X Bad: My Dear Hana - Chapter 85

He thinks about all the words that she said to him. How she loved him last night? Every ċȧrėss had a meaning. She loved him with everything inside her. Then, why? He can’t understand why was he betrayed. If she wanted to do this, she could have done it before coming back to him. Why did she destroy? For the first time, he realizes that he doesn’t understand his Hana.

He glances at their house before going in. There aren’t any cop. She didn’t call anyone here. He walks into the house. There is a warm scent of food in the air. She’s wearing a dress from the wardrobe that he prepared for her.

“You are back already?” She glances at him and smiles lovingly. “I have made some food. Take a seat, Yi Hwan Oppa.”

He takes the seat and keeps his eyes on her while she sets up the table. She leans forward toward him. “Yi Hwan Oppa, it might not be as good as your wife’s cooking. I have put all the love in it.”

He closes his eyes. “Why?”

She picks up the chopsticks. “Let’s eat first. We will talk later.”

Is this their last meal? He quietly let her feed him. He won’t let her leave him again. Even if she has betrayed, she will belong to him until her last breath.

She cleans his mouth with a cloth. “Come with me, Oppa.”

He follows her to the bedroom. There’s a knife in the center of the bed. She hands it to him. “I didn’t lie. I love you. Only you. There’s no one else.”

“Then, why?” He clutches the handle of the knife hard. His heart is pained.

“When I was away, I always wanted to feel the warm blood in my hands. When I came back, I often thought about whether it’s Do Sejin’s blood that I wanted to feel in my hand.” She sits down on the bed. “When you held my hand in the hospital and squeezed it with the love that you had to hide it from me, I just knew that it was you. You might change your voice, your personality, way of walking, or your name. But you can’t change your touch. I could never forget how it felt when you loved me for the first time on the night you changed me for the first time.”

The night when they slept for the first time…The night he changed her into the blinding sun that people could only look with awe…

“You did this because you chose me.” Hong Yi Hwan climbs over her and presses the tip of the knife on her throat. “You still betrayed me. There’s no way that we can live… Why did you do this?”

He knows what awaits him in the future. He also knows that he can’t go back to his life. But the most painful part is that he has to be parted from her.

“I was afraid that you would love Ha-Neul more than me. Same way, you would have been afraid that Ha-Neul would take place in my heart someday. We wouldn’t accept anyone else in each other’s heart. That was our promise.” She looks at him fearlessly. “I love you. So, I chose this. Let’s become one, Oppa. There’s only one way.”

Let’s become one.

He understands the meaning of those words.

Ha-Neul might be their daughter, but they won’t accept the other person to love her. Ahn Hana won’t accept if he has both Ha-Neul and her in his heart. Likewise, he might not have accepted that Ahn Hana having someone else in her heart in the future. He could have tried, but it would have ended the way Ahn Hana had said.

She understands him the most.

“My dear Hana.” He places the knife away. “Let’s become one.”

He wants to make love to her. The woman has completely surrendered to him. He has also only hers. There is no one there to stop them. Not even their daughter. They kiss each other, fingers entangled, never wanting to let go of each other. He kisses her each scar that he gave her. She touches him everywhere as it will be the last time. When their bodies join and move in synchronicity, he finds her crying softly.

She smiles at him. There is only love in her sad eyes. She’s the only one who has loved him despite knowing his true nature. She’s the only woman that kept his heart since he met her. “I am not afraid, Hong Yi Hwan. Until my last breath, I will only love you.”

That’s a promise that she will fulfill this time.

Hong Yi Hwan takes her hand and curls her fingers around the handle of the knife. She looks at him, bewildered. “What are you doing, Hong Yi Hwan?”

“Unlike me, you can still stay with Ha-Neul,” He tells her softly. “Our heart will be together. I will always live inside you as a part of you for the rest of your life even if my body dies.”

Before she could refuse, he kisses her for one last time. As he releases his seed and his last breath into her, he shoves the knife into his throat. His warm blood rains on her skin. She stays still, crying and tasting the blood until his body becomes cold.