Bastian - Chapter 108 - I Hate You

Odette did not recall how she had managed to make it back to the hallway leading to the master bedroom. The sensation of her legs moving on their own accord left her a little disorientated. She walked with her hands clasped in front of her, like she was praying and as she felt her dulled consciousness resurface, here she was.

Bastian returned home a lot sooner than she thought he would, only for him to depart again minutes later. He headed for the palace, where he was to negotiate the final dissolution of their marriage.

Odette turned the doorknob, mulling over the news the butler had shared with her. It was the expected future to come, she knew this day was drawing close, but now that it was actually here, the pain of it was a lot deeper than she thought.

What would be the reason he choose for their divorce? She wondered.

Odette entered the bedroom, trying to anticipate what scandal Bastian and the Emperor would come up with. They were all despairing, but she was strangely at peace. She would be content as long as it ended.

For now, all she needed to worry about was changing out of these clothes and meeting Bastian.

Odette acted according to the priorities she set in her mind, forcing out that which did not matter right now and concentrated on removing the hat, gloves and jewellery she had worn to the tea party. She even took off her wedding ring absently, which was now loose on her finger thanks to her illness. As she started dragging a brush through her hair, something clicked.

“Meg?”

Realising that Margrethe was not there, Odette rose from her vanity table and looked about the room like the dog was hiding behind the lamp or something. She dropped her comb when she noticed the man standing by the window.

“Bastian,” she said with a start.

When she finally noticed him, he approached her. His stride was leisurely, as if savouring a pleasant Sunday walk. He halted mere steps from away and greeted her with a courteous bow. The glimmer of his badges and medals twinkled in her eyes.

Barely able to hold herself together, Odette attempted a greeting of equal courtesy. She felt a wash of embarrassment come over her, but she held up all the more calmly because of it.

“I thought you were heading to the palace, for an audience with the Emperor.” Odette forced a kind smile to her lips. “I’m glad that the deal went smoothly for you, Bastian.”

The two figures faced each other in the golden glow of the sun, their eyes locked onto one another. Odette was poised, not wanting to end the marriage in a miserable and pitiful way. She wanted to be remembered as the brazen woman who had stood her ground until the last.

“Thank you for everything, Bastian and… I’m sorry.”

After everything, the whirlwind of thoughts boiled down to one simple, cliched little statement.

With her self-blame wiped away, Odette looked at Bastian

“Now, please tell me your decision. I will follow it.”

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Bastian looked up at the clock as the faint sound of its chime drew his attention. Four o’clock. The time had come to wrap up the settlement. Though his eyes cast over the warm and aromatic roses, they returned to Odette standing before him.

She may have bowed to him politely and showed reverence in the face of her judgement, but he knew that it was all just an act. She was nothing shy of extremely arrogant.

She had prepared everything to send away Tira Byller.

The actions reported by his private detective far exceeded his expectations. He was far more expecting to hear that she had been frolicking with that vagabond Xanders.

She had sacrificed herself for the sake of her family, betraying her family for her family. For her, family was life, even at the cost of her own, she would do anything to secure their well-being. As admirable as it was, Bastian could not forget about her vicious backstabbing.

“Bastian?” Odette said in surprise. Bastian hadn’t realised it, but the thought of her betrayal made him sneer menacingly.

Bastian looked past her faux innocence and caught sight of a picture hanging just behind her. It was nothing more than propaganda from the naval festival, capturing a moment of sweet deception. Now he understood. She had changed, seeming like the woman in the photo, but with a softer touch and slimmer figure.

When he realised that all traces of the young girl had faded, he could see how immature past Odette had really been. He recognised his own foolishness for being deceived by the young girl.

His gaze grew deeper and calmer, drifting to the silk blue dress and the woman’s pale, prayer-like hands. Memories of her fingers playing a melodic tune flooded his mind. The moonlight, the piano, and his naive hope that the moment would last forever.

I hate you.

Bastian wanted to admit the truth hidden in his heart. He had tried so many times to erase it, but it was like a name engraved on a tombstone and he knew it.

He wanted it to end.

He wanted to trample this woman,

He wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him.

He wanted to break her, wanted her to fall at his feet and cry out for mercy.

Facing that dark desire, Bastian felt like he understood. He wanted to inflict terrible pain on this woman, a price that needs to be paid for the pain given to him. The fact that he had only just come to terms with such desire was easy.

“It’s better to save the heartbreaking goodbyes for later, after all, you are going to need some time to come to terms with my decision.” Bastian smiled as he took one final step closer.

Odette could feel the primal threat in the words and instinctively faltered back, but Bastian only moved in closer.

One step, then another.

Their slow and relentless chase was coming to its inevitable end.

Odette screamed as she tumbled to the floor, tripping on the hem of her dress.

“Be careful, it wouldn’t be very good if you were to get hurt before you were able to repay your debt.” Bastian held out a hand.

That woman struggled like a trapped bird in a snare, pulling herself up off the floor. Bastian got a whiff of her sweet scent and was reminded of the time she stood alone under the shower.

“Ah…!”

Odette let out a soft moan as she pushed Bastian out of the way and got herself up off the floor. It was only after they locked eyes again, when she stood before him, did she realise what was happening.

She tried to escape, but his large, firm hands were clasped around her face and he looked at her like a ravenous beast. All Odette could do was stand there, subdued, with only enough strength to fight back the tears.

“Bear my child.”

Finally, his decision was passed, echoing in what seemed like an eternally silent space. The room fell into a deep silence as Odette looked into Bastian’s smiling eyes.

“W-what…?”

“What more could I ask of you? You are a woman of impeccable bloodline, so, use that too repay your debt, a child with royal blood should be satisfactory payment.”

“No, I would rather go to jail!” Odette shouted.

“I don’t want to do that.”

“Why, why this? You could fabricate any lie to send me to prison without ever producing any evidence.”

“That is true, but what do I have to gain from that? I have thought long and hard about it and this is my decision.”

With a polite smile, Bastian lifted Odette’s chin so that they were staring at each other again. He could see fear and tears in her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips tremble. He found her current demeanour much more appealing than when she pretended to be a saint.

“Don’t worry, though, you wont be the mother of my child,” Bastian said, letting her face bow once more. “You will be divorced just as soon as the child is born and you will never see them for your whole life. The child will grow up as mine and Sandrine’s.” His hand, sliding down her stiff neck, had reached the front of her dress.

“You…you can’t do this to me,” Odette tried to shout, but her voice was a cracked whisper.

“Oh sure, it might be a bit bothersome at first, but you have left me with no choice. Your father is dead and you’ve sent your dear sister away, abandoned. Now you have no family left, so, we have to create a new one.”

Bear my child. And leave that child behind.

Everything passed in a blur of motion and noise to Odette. She struggled to come to terms with what Bastian was saying. She felt like she had lost her mind. It felt like she was living a nightmare and she would will herself awake, if she didn’t already know she was awake.

“You ruined what was most precious to me, so it’s only fair I return the favour, don’t you think?”

Suddenly, Odette felt her dress strap being pulled, accompanied by the sound of her shirt button being torn off. The sensation was too real to be dismissed as a mere dream.