Be Indulged - Chapter 3 – Part 1

The Butler County, to which Amelia had once been betrothed, was a Margrave family. Adjacent to the northern Kshamil, a land where large and small wars never ceased. But there had been no war in three decades. County Butler wanted to spread their influence to the capital, and in doing so, they made the mistake of reducing the military funds. Reducing military funds meant that the frontier’s defenses were weakened.

The northern prairie was a beautiful place. Amelia followed her fiance there. She thought nothing would happen. However, on that day, when Count Butler headed for the capital, the barbarians of Kshamil invaded Count Butler’s castle. And Amelia, who was at the estate, fell into their hands.

The barbarians of Kshamil were sadistic and perverse. They wildly took the woman in the castle. The most perverted of them was Durante, the general of Kshamil. He even took Amelia, the only lady remaining in the castle. People say that Amelia herself went to his room and moved her body. It wasn’t wrong.

So Amelia thought she herself was guilty too. At the hands of the enemy general, she suffered many perverted acts, sometimes screaming in pain, sometimes screaming in pleasure. She suffered under the man for several days. The general liked Amelia. Even after all the work was done, he tried to take her away.

It would have been better if she had been dragged by the man’s hand. Amelia thought so. After that, her fiance Elliott committed suicide. And according to the testimony of the people in the castle, she became a lewd woman. All the people criticized her. Every night, there were shouts towards her echoing through the castle.

In the shock of it all, her father died, leaving only her six-year-old younger brother. And her uncle invaded their house and almost took control of her family.

She had been loved by everyone, but within a single moment, she was reduced to being despised and ridiculed. The emotions she felt at that time were so terrible that it was hard to imagine.

At her fiance’s funeral, she was humiliated and kicked out, and when she went to a tea party invited by her friend, she was openly insulted by those she thought were her friends. How was she at her father’s funeral?

“…”

It wasn’t that Amelia was cut off from the world. Amelia was forced to hide from the world.

So with that said, Amelia could not believe the kindness of the Emperor.

Amelia lay next to the man, staring at the sleeping Emperor. The morning she woke up after having a nightmare of ‘that time’ was chilly. After the dream, this cold reality was not so different as it kept pressing down on her. But right now, the Emperor was sleeping next to her.

She raised her body and looked down at the Emperor. She has been sleeping, and not sleeping, for several days. The Emperor came in and slept by her side while she was unconscious. The Emperor tried to hold her when they first met. He looked at her and she did not know that he was raving at her. But the Emperor didn’t even motion to start anything after holding her the first day.

When she thought about it, the question ‘why?’ came to mind. All the people seemed to think that she was being embraced by the Emperor. If so, was it done on purpose?

‘By the way, this man…’

He said this wasn’t the first time either. So who did he have a relationship with? Since this person was not a candidate for Emperor, he would have been relatively free. So, did he have a lover? Or a prostitute? He didn’t even have to think about prostitutes. With a smile on his beautiful face, everyone would have wanted him to hold them.

He was different from her.

She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head in shock. What matters was who the Emperor had a relationship with. Then she opened her mouth to a sudden realization. Maybe the Emperor had a hidden lover. For example, there were many people who got married to hide their lover from a poor background. It could be that he was keeping Amelia here to hide his lover. Thinking like that made her depressed. But then she sighed and thought.

No. It happened by chance, but it was also an opportunity. Maybe it was the best chance she could get.

‘I have Colin.’

The only reason Colin had been able to survive from her greedy aunt and uncle was because they didn’t have any sons. Just in case, just in case, if a son was born between them, there would be another person who could inherit the title. If that’s the case, what might happen to Colin in this precarious situation?

To protect him, she sacrificed her body. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to give her life away.

‘I’m going to be the Empress.’

Amelia turned her back and looked at the Emperor. The Emperor, like a beautiful statue, was asleep. Who wouldn’t be fascinated by that face?

“Why?”

Then the Emperor suddenly opened his eyes and asked. When Amelia was startled, the Emperor smiled. His sleepy expression surprised her.

“Last time you pushed me away, this time you’re just staring at my face…”

“…”

“Why? Does anyone remind you of me…”

“No, never!”

At Amelia’s words, the Emperor grinned. The Emperor stretched out his hand and Amelia lay down again. The Emperor smiled softly and stroked Amelia’s cheek.

“Are you unable to sleep?”

“It’s nothing.”

“I don’t think so.”

“…I had a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?”

“Yes, a nightmare.”

“What was it about?”

“That’s…”

Amelia couldn’t speak. Instead, she just averted her gaze.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

The Emperor looked at her and said,

“Amelia.”

“Yes?”

“I have nightmares too.”

“…”

“A nightmare you can’t tell, Amelia.”

“…”

The Emperor said so and looked up at the ceiling. For some reason, she felt sympathy for the Emperor. Does that person also have a painful past?

“It’s easy to forget, but it always appears in a dream.”

“…Me too.”

At Amelia’s blunt remark, the Emperor smiled and took her hand.

“But even if it was a nightmare, there was something I didn’t want to forget as a dream.”

“Yes?”

“Amelia, you may want to forget, but there is something I don’t want to forget.”

“…”

“That’s why I’ve been having nightmares, because I don’t want to let those memories go.”

Amelia carefully opened her mouth.

“So, do you still have nightmares?”

At that, the Emperor gave a blank expression.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t dreamt since Amelia’s next to me.”

“Yes?”

“I guess I don’t have nightmares because you’re by my side.”

“…”

The Emperor smiled softly. Amelia saw it and somehow felt a pain in one side of her chest. The Emperor said with an apologetic expression.

“What do I do about this? I don’t usually have nightmares, but Amelia has nightmares like this.”

“…No, I’m not.”

“Come here. I will make you sleep soundly.”

The Emperor hugged Amelia tightly. She could feel her body mellowed in his grasp. Amelia was locked in his arms and her eyes were open.

“Nothing can harm us anymore.”

“…”

“Amelia, it’s okay. I’ll protect you.”

Will there ever come a day when she won’t have nightmares? It would be really nice if that day would come. The Emperor said he wanted to remember even a nightmare, but to Amelia, that “nightmare” was all about pain.

“I will protect you.”

“…….”

At those friendly words, Amelia looked up at him softly. Is it sympathy, a courageous word, or a word with a plan? His warm eyes were telling her to trust him.

Looking at his face, Amelia realized that the most difficult thing was not giving her heart to that person.

* * * 

“Oh…”

Amelia stood at the fountain with her eyes wide open. The other person also stood with a firm expression. Amelia greeted with a bitter smile at the embarrassment in the man’s eyes.

“Long time no see, Sir Reinkel.”

“Long time no see, Miss Laszlo.”

Reinkel smiled reluctantly at her greeting.

The knight Julius Reinkel was a close friend of her former fiance. She remembered him coming to the castle briefly with his brother when it happened. And his younger brother was also killed in the attack that occurred at that time.

Amelia closed her eyes in pain.

“I’m glad you look healthy.”

She smiled at Reinkel’s words.

“Yes, I am healthy. Even after losing that person.”

“…… I didn’t mean to say it that way.”

Reinkel approached Amelia with a shy expression on his face. Sir Reinkel still had a handsome appearance. When young Amelia was so immature, she wondered how good it would be if that man was her fiance.

“I am glad to have met you like this. I’m sorry for not being of any help all the time.”

Reinkel looked genuinely distressed. Amelia looked at him with her eyes wide open.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sir, I was the one who drove Elliot to his death. What help…”

Reinkel looked at her blankly and shook his head.

“Miss Amelia, Elliot died because he couldn’t stand the shame. Because he was cowardly.”

“…”

At that, Amelia bit her mouth. This person is Elliot’s friend. He knew Elliot well.

“Miss Laszlo, if he knew that Miss Laszlo thinks that way, he would have…”

“What do you mean ‘he’?”

Amelia was about to ask, but someone was standing behind Reinkel.

“Your Majesty.”

“…”

Amelia bowed to her knees to greet him. The Emperor looked at her and Reinkel alternately, with an expression of outright disapproval. Reinkel hurriedly looked behind him and greeted.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.”

“Why is a knight who’s supposed to be in the training grounds here?”

Amelia was startled. Because the Emperor was glaring at Reinkel almost as if to kill him. She was startled by his terribly cold gaze, which contrasted with his soft voice. The Emperor was gentle and kind to her. But to others, he was stern and there was no warmth in his tone. But it was unusually cold to that person alone. Does the Emperor hate that man?

“I have come to report something to Your Majesty.”

“Scram.”

Reinkel looked at her and the Emperor alternately, and then he left without saying another word. Amelia was flustered. That person must also know that she was an Empress candidate. What was he thinking? When she looked at Reinkel’s back.

“Are you allowed to look at other people like that in front of me?”

“…Pardon?”

The Emperor stepped forward and stood in front of her. Naturally, Reinkel’s back was not visible. The Emperor bowed his head and met her eyes and said,

“I want to kill him.”

“…”

Amelia gave a bewildered expression. Was he being jealous? She said with a calm expression.

“I didn’t mean to look at him that way. I just said hello because he was someone I knew.”

“Someone you knew?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of person is he?”

At the Emperor’s question, she opened her mouth and gave an ambiguous expression. Because she couldn’t say in front of the Emperor that she was a friend of her ex-fiance.

“…”

“Why can’t you speak? Is he a lover? Or your first love?”

The longer Amelia couldn’t find her words, the more difficult it became for her to answer. She sighed and said

“He’s… he’s the older brother of the person I loved.”