Be My Strength - Chapter 444

While Kai Xin and DX were at the hospital, at the moment, Ghost was at Callum’s apartment with his mother.

Lin was playing with the two bunnies that Mr. Ye sent over, as well as some of her toys, the day after she came to live with them. Since Callum’s apartment had 5 rooms, Ghost took the smallest room and turned it into a room for her to play with.

Within a day, he had decorated the smallest room with warm colors and cute furniture. He wanted his mother to feel safe, and he knew that she was still afraid of him and Callum… Mostly him.

On the first night, both of them could not sleep. Lin was uncomfortable with the new environment, while Ghost was wondering what he should do with his mother.

Most of the time, Lin would lock herself in the room. She would only come out during meal time. Even then, she would only eat more if Ghost was not eating with her. It seemed that while she was getting more and more comfortable with Callum’s presence, for some reason, she could not bring herself to hang out with Ghost.

However, Ghost was patient when he dealt with her. At first, he wanted to get Dr. Phillip to look at his mother, but knowing how scared she was with strangers, especially men, he got Dr. Wong back instead. After all, Dr. Wong had been with his mother for a long time and she knew what his mother would be like.

During the last therapy session, Dr. Wong had given a brief description of what Lin was going through to Ghost and Callum. She had advised them to be patient. In addition, she had also advised Ghost that he had to tread carefully if he wanted to trigger his mother’s memories.

So, knowing that by remembering him, and that his mother would have to remember all the bad things that happened to her, Ghost felt conflicted. Other than mulling over what he should do, he had not been doing much in the past few days.

He wanted to just tell his mother who he really was, but he was afraid that his mother might break apart. Thus, even though it was killing, he tried to take it slowly and think more about the consequences of each of his action.

Today, as he was watching a movie in the living room, he suddenly noticed the little white bunny that had hopped over to him. After he picked up the little bunny, he saw that his mother was standing at a distance away. She was holding the brown bunny in her arms.

She kept her eyes on the bunny that was in his hand, and it was evident that she was afraid that he would harm the bunny.

“My bunny…” murmured Lin. She averted her gaze when she saw that he was looking right at her.

Ghost smiled and he tried to signal her to come over to him. “Lin, come and pick up your bunny.”

Lin shook her head and took a step backward before saying, “Put her down… She’ll come to me.”

“I won’t bite. Just come and get her.”

Lin hesitated before saying, “I’ll tell Callum…”

“Still no progress…” thought Ghost. He shook his head and sighed before he placed the bunny down on the carpet. Once the bunny hopped over to his mother, she immediately picked it up and ran back to her playroom.

Ghost watched as she closed the door behind her and sadness engulfed him. The knowledge that his mother did not want to have contact with him at all hurt more than anything.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, he lied down on the couch and decided to take a nap.

….

Not long after Ghost fell asleep, Callum came back from work. When he saw Ghost sleeping on the couch, he grinned mischievously before he placed his keys back on the keyholder.

Approaching Ghost, Callum frowned when he saw that his “wife” was sweating in his sleep. There was also visible frown lines on Ghost’s forehead.

“Mama…” Ghost murmured softly in his sleep.

“Nightmare?” thought Callum. He had wanted to jump on his “wife” to scare him, but seeing Ghost at his current state, Callum put his prank aside.

He sat down on the edge of the couch as he gently patted Ghost on his chest. In a soft voice, he said, “Xiao Ying… Be good… Mama is home now…”

In his dream, Ghost reached out his hands. Sometimes, when he dreamed about his mother, in his dream, she would always walk away from him… Or he would keep running after her, who was standing there, but he would never be able to reach her.

This time, Ghost caught her… but she refused to look at him no matter what he did.

“Mama…”

Back in reality, Callum sighed as he held Ghost’s hand tightly, “It’s ok, my little Xiao Ying. Your Mama is home now, and I’m here with you as well…”

“Xiao Ying…” A timid voice suddenly repeated the name.

Callum turned around and saw Lin. She was standing behind a grey bunny that was sitting inside a toy pram. In her arms was the little white bunny.

When Callum looked at her, she murmured, “My son’s name is Xiao Ying…”

Callum gasped before he asked happily, “Do you remember anything?”

“He’s 10…”

Callum looked at Ghost for a while before he turned back to Lin. Then with a bright smile, he asked, “Lin… It’s been 20 years… Xiao Ying is an adult now… Don’t you want to see him?”

Lin glanced at Ghost who was still sleeping and she shook her head. “He’s not Xiao Ying… My son has beautiful black hair…”

“But he’s your Xiao Ying, Lin. It’s just that he’s been through a lot, so his hair greyed out… Why don’t you come and take a closer look?” He beckoned her to come closer. Since Lin was showing signs of clarity, he wanted to take this chance to help her remember.

Lin hesitated for a moment before she stepped forward. She liked Callum because Callum made her laugh… and that he had never looked at her with a sad and pained expression.

When she was standing right next to Ghost, she murmured, “He’s not my son…”

“Take a closer look, Lin… He’s your Xiao Ying, only bigger…” He covered his mouth before he added, “Some parts are even bigger than I thought…”

“What?” asked Lin, who did not hear his last sentence.

Callum chuckled as he shook his head. “Nothing. Come. Look at his face, Lin. He’s sleeping now, so you don’t have to be afraid of him.”

Lin placed the white bunny inside the baby pram before she crouched down to take a good look at Ghost. Up until now, she had always been afraid to look at his face. Mostly, she was also afraid to see those sad eyes of him.

Now that she had a good look, she did see the resemblance between Ghost and “Xiao Ying”. She remembered that her son used to sleep with a hand underneath his pillow, and Ghost was sleeping in that way too.

Lin shook her head and thought, “That could be a coincidence…”

Callum could tell that Lin recognized her son, but at the same time, she was afraid to admit it. So, he decided to take charge by whispering to her ear, “There’s a birthmark on his butt that looks like a bunch of grapes.”

Lin held her head as the memory of her dressing her toddler son came back to her. Her head hurt slightly from the memories that suddenly came rushing back into her head. With a slow nod, she murmured, “Yes… He has a birthmark on his butt…”

“Wanna see?” asked Callum with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He glanced at Ghost for a second before whispering to Lin, “This guy, whenever he’s here, he sleeps like a pig… We can even completely undressed him and put him in a dress and he won’t even know it…”

Lin laughed softly at the thought of Ghost dressed in a dress. However, she quickly stopped herself. After some thinking though, she nodded. In her mind, the last memory of her son was him at around 10 years old. She wanted to confirm with her own eyes that the sleeping man was her son.

Callum chuckled before he slowly turned Ghost around. Then, he kept an eye on Ghost’s face while he slowly lowered Ghost’s joggers down. At the top of Ghost’s left b*ttock was a faded greyish-looking birthmark that looked like a bunch of grapes.

When Lin saw the birthmark, she gasped and quickly covered her mouth. If this was her son… Suddenly, her head hurt badly… It was unbearable and she groaned in pain as she fell down onto the floor while clutching her head.

“Argggh!!!”

“Wh-What happened?” asked Ghost, who was woken up by his mother’s voice. He looked at his mother who was sitting on the floor and then at Callum who was still holding the back of his joggers. Half of his b*ttocks were exposed.

Then, without a word, he kicked Callum off from the couch.

Luckily, Callum managed to block it with his hands or his poor ribs might actually break this time.

Ghost glared at Callum as he asked Lin, “Did this idiot do anything to you?”

Lin had no energy to reply to him. Instead, she held her head with both her hands and groaned from the pain. When Ghost reached down to help her, she pushed him away while she looked at him with a pained expression.

She then crawled away from Ghost a little before she ran back into her own room.

The memories had all returned, and she remembered why her son was crying in that image she saw before. Disgusted at the memories, and at herself, she rushed into the toilet inside her room and vomited into the toilet bowl

She could hear pounding at the door but she ignored it and tried to drown off the sound of pounding by flushing the toilet. In her mind, she kept thinking about the scene that her young son had to watch. Now that everything came back to her, she realized why Ghost had grey hair.

As she sat down against the bathtub, she cried loudly as she beat her own chest, “Xiao Ying… Mama has disappointed you!”

“Lin!” Ghost and Callum yelled.

“What the f*ck have you done!” Ghost snapped at Callum.

Seeing Ghost’s angry face, Callum stuttered, “I-I just… Should we break down the door? How about I go get the key?”

“No time!” Ghost pushed Callum aside and within one swipe of a kick, he kicked off the doorknob. The bottom of his feet hurt but he could care less as he rushed into the room. He could hear sobbing coming from the bathroom and he went over to knock.

“Lin, are you alright? Don’t believe whatever Callum told you earlier! He’s just an idiot!”

“Yeah, Lin! I was joking, alright!”

Lin shook her head as she continued to cry. The memories of her being violated by men were horrifying, but the thing that horrified her the most was that her young son was there and that he witnessed everything.

She blamed herself for her inability to protect him, and for exposing him to such a cruel world.

“I’ve failed him! I’ve failed him!” Lin cried as she banged the back of her head against the bathtub, hard. She wanted to forget about everything and just continued to be the dim-witted, scaredy-cat Lin. The memories and her past hurt too much, and she did not want to bear it again.

“Lin!”

Ghost wanted to kick the door down but the bathroom was not that big. He was worried that he would hurt her.

“Here! I got the key!” said Callum who had rushed off earlier to look for the key. He frowned when he saw Ghost’s bleeding heel but he did not point it out to him.

Ghost immediately unlocked the door but when he tried to push it open, he noticed that it was blocked.

“Lin?”

“Don’t come in!” Lin shouted as she blocked the door with her body. “I-I can’t see you!”

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Let me help you!”

“No!” Lin cried. She leaned against the door as she sobbed. Her crying sound was amplified by the echo in the bathroom and it only made Ghost worried more about her.

“What’s wrong? Tell me. Please… Or tell Callum… Please don’t hide away…”

“I-I can’t face you!”

“Why?”

Callum placed a hand on Ghost’s shoulder. When Ghost turned back to look at him, Callum said with a guilty expression, “I told her that you’re her son…”

“What?! Who told you to do that!” snapped Ghost as he shoved Callum away from him.

“She has to know sooner or later! She already remembered parts of her past! It would not shield her further!”

“That’s none of your business!”

Callum felt hurt by what Ghost said. As he clenched his jaw out of anger, he said, “You’re right. It’s none of my business… I’ll leave you guys alone…”

And so, with a gloomy expression, he left the room.

Ghost did not notice Callum’s pain at the moment. He kept trying to push the bathroom door open.

“Lin – No. Mama. Ma. Please don’t do this. I’ve been waiting for your return for 20 years! Please don’t keep me out now!”

“I couldn’t protect you, Xiao Ying! Y-you had to see all those things! Those horrible things! And your hair!”

“Those are in the past, Ma. I just want to move on… The people who had hurt you… and me… They could no longer hurt us anymore!”

Lin cried as she continued to beat her chest. “That doesn’t mean that I can forget! You were a child! A little boy!”

Ghost sighed and said in a pleading voice, “Ma, please open the door…”

Hearing the sadness in his voice, Lin could not bear to keep her son out anymore. She slowly stepped back and allowed Ghost to push the door open.

As they stood there, staring at each other, they both wondered what should they do now. Her face was covered in hot tears, while his eyes were red as he tried to hold himself back.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lin opened her arms and called his name, “Guang Ying… My son…”

Hearing her words, Ghost finally walked forward and hugged his mother. He had waited 20 years for this… He had thought that this was an impossible dream, but here she was… She was here with him now.

He hugged her tightly.

This time, Lin did not push her son back.

…

Once they calmed down, they talked to each other about what had happened in the past. Both of them tried to avoid talking about the bad things that happened to themselves. Instead, they tried to focus on only the happy things.

After a while, Lin felt tired and went to sleep without dinner.

As for Ghost, when he went back to the room that he shared with Callum, he saw that Callum was out of his suit and had put on his pajamas.

Now that he calmed down, Ghost realized that he might have gone overboard with his words earlier.

“A-Are you hungry? Have you eaten? Should I order something in?” asked Ghost as he stood awkwardly in front of their closet.

Callum did not look up from his phone as he answered in a curt manner, “Yes. No. It’s on the way.”

Ghost knew that Callum was throwing a tantrum. Not knowing what to say, he decided to let the man cool off for now by taking a shower first. When he came out of the shower, Callum was no longer in the room. Ghost quickly changed before he went out of the room.

When he saw Callum setting up the table, he sighed in relief. For a short moment, he thought that Callum had decided to give up on him.

Once he sat down, Callum passed a bowl of hot, steaming rice to him. Ghost guessed that the food must have arrived for quite some time and that Callum had heated it up.

Otherwise, based on experience, at most, the food would be mostly warm to borderline cold.

Dinner was, as usual, a Chinese takeout from one of the best restaurants nearby. Since Lin had just fallen asleep, Callum had set aside some of the dishes, and one of the rice. If she wanted to eat later, he would heat it up for her.

Ghost kept glancing at Callum, but the latter just kept eating. What Ghost found annoying was that Callum was being unnaturally quiet. He was so used to the man’s chitter chatter and constant inappropriate jokes that he felt a little sad to see him so quiet.

After a while, Ghost sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“Mm…”

“Callum, please… I’m really sorry about what I said earlier…”

“I’m sorry that I intruded in your business earlier,” said Callum curtly. It was apparent to all that he was hurt by it.

Ghost’s lips twitched slightly. He then picked up a braised drumstick and placed it on Callum’s bowl.

When Callum looked up at him, Ghost said, “I didn’t mean to say it. I was just really worried about Lin… Ma, I mean. I apologize if I hurt your feelings… Feel free to b*tt in anytime you want. I’m already used to it…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just too busybody…”

“No… Well, yes you are… But you meant well, and I like that about you. Callum, please don’t be angry at me anymore…” said Ghost. He then touched Callum’s legs with his feet to tease the fella.

This time, it was Callum whose lips twitched slightly. Ah, who was he kidding… As if he could stay mad at his “wife” for long. With a huge smile, he said, “Apologies accepted! But I want one round next week!”

Ghost looked at him agape as he thought, “His mood changed…so fast…”

He knew what Callum meant by “one round” and with a gentle smile, he nodded. “Fine, one round next week.”

Callum smirked, “Backdoor!”

Ghost sighed and showed him a depressed face. “Fine… Backdoor… Just be… softer…”

Callum laughed out loud before he started to eat with more gusto. Meanwhile, Ghost was smirking as he kept his face down.

If Callum was not so distracted by the dirty images that he was thinking about, he would have seen the smirk on Ghost’s face. He might even be able to guess what Ghost was thinking about… which was –

“I agreed to backdoor… I didn’t say that it’s mine…”