Becoming Jasmine Star - Chapter 9

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Caring for the Aloe Vera plant has become the part of my life that I can actually predict happening.

Every morning I wake up and water the Small plant. Making sure it is still the way I left it when I feel asleep sends a wave of relief over me before I go to work.

The daily ritual doesn’t exactly have a calming effect. Nor does it insure that today will be a good day. Doing this does not insure that I don’t breakdown in public, or get distracted when I’m working.

It is just something that holds me accountable. If I don’t take care of it, it dies.

Simple as that.

It’s a routine.

One I don’t plan on changing anytime soon.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Lately, I find myself checking my phone more often. There is no denying that it has something to do with those messages.

With this person I never know what they are going to say. Their actions and existence is all too unpredictable for me. Something I’m starting to realize gives me anxiety.

But, I didn’t expect them to say nothing at all.

So far, I checked the same message three times.

Speaking of unpredictable things, ate pancakes this morning.

Honestly, the recipe just popped up online. I don’t know why I made them. There was nothing that made them look ‘different’ or ‘better’ than any other pancake. I tried just them.

They say the first always look strange. A little uneven, pale, ugly, clumsy “different”. But after the first they’ll get better.

Somehow, I was able to turn all of them into a ‘first pancake’

Scrolling through the comments of the blog post, I realize that I wasn’t the only ‘culinary infant’.

“This recipe sucks!”

“The picture looks good, but my turned out too gross.”

“I rate this one out of five stars!”

Those and many others like it were peppered throughout the comment section. Though the good outweighed the bad.

I check my phone one more time before shutting off my phone clean the kitchen.

Monday, January 12, 2015

It’s dying.

The sharp ends on the plant are a pinkish-brown color. The sight made me set down my watering can and observe more closely.
for visiting.

‘What am I doing wrong?’

I watered it everyday, I gave it as much sunlight as I could for it being January. I even played Clair de lune for it. Something Jasmine did for some reason.

I don’t know if it actually did something, but who am I to judge? I’m not a plant expert.

A sudden feeling of determination washed over me, I opened my computer and began to search, I wasn’t going to let this one die.

12:14 p.m.

Over-watering.

That was the problem at hand. I am not a plant expert. I watered that Aloe everyday, not knowing that I shouldn’t water it everyday. That the rocks on top were their to keep in moisture, making watering almost a non-existing issue. I pulled out the Aloe from its pot and observe the roots. Even the roots have been corrupted by water-log.

“Maybe I can save it.”

It never occurred to me that some plants need less water than others.

‘You can’t even take care of a simple plant, you just have to kill all your chances.’

Was it strange that I found this plant as my second chance to take care of something I cared about?

Probably.

“So I just need to cut off the dead parts, right?”

My total lack of knowledge makes me feel guilty for some strange reason.

I have to make this right.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I have stayed up for 24-hours, part of it I was reading article upon article on how to take care of succulents.

The back of my eyes are dry, Clair de lune has been playing since I got home, and I swear, I could play by ear by now.

The one is question was stationed in my lap, waiting for me as I order everything I could ever need online.

My phone chimed.

I guess she finally decided to reply…
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