Becoming The White Moonlight’s Human Weapon After My Death - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: If the World is a Stage, Yan Chenli is an Entirely Worthy Protagonist.

In the same way as he was dragged to the library with a confused face three days ago, Shen Lu was taken to the theatre half an hour later with the same feeling of confusion. There were no empty seats around, they were all filled by well-dressed adults, and he sat worriedly by himself on a VIP seat in the front row.

This was neither a children’s competition nor an amateur band playing, it was a famous orchestra on a global tour. It was a solemn, dignified, and grand concert, and up on the stage sat numerous people wearing formal black clothes and holding all sorts of musical instruments.

Shen Lu didn’t understand symphonies, but Yan Chenli stood in an eye-catching position in the centre of the stage holding a violin, he even had several solos, so he guessed Yan Chenli’s role must have been very important.

Shen Lu watched the glimmering lights shining down on Yan Chenli in the centre of the stage and thought, he really is suited to standing in front of a crowd, right under the spotlight.

If the world was also a stage, Yan Chenli was certainly an entirely worthy protagonist.

The more than an hour-long performance passed by in the blink of an eye, and Shen Lu didn’t even feel like he had seen enough by the time it was over.

After the show ended, he followed the crowd and left, but his footsteps became slower and slower until he stopped at the entrance of the theatre. The people in the crowd left one after the other, and the bustling theatre was left empty. Shen Lu didn’t know where he should go to look for Yan Chenli, and he also didn’t know if he was supposed to go greet him before leaving. They didn’t seem to have agreed to meet after the show was over.

As Shen Lu strolled through the hall holding the books they’d borrowed from the library, he saw promotional posters for the performance covering a large area of the wall, and Yan Chenli wearing a small suit was still a very eye-catching poster. Shen Lu stood in front of the posters for a while, and caught sight of advertisements for learning musical instruments and recruitment posters for the orchestra. When he saw the word “violin” written on it, Shen Lu, who had never had any interest in music before, suddenly and for no reason thought, maybe I could also learn.

But there’s already a violin soloist. He thought.

But an orchestra has so many spots, maybe if I work really hard I might also rise to join them. He thought again.

Just as Shen Lu was standing in front of the enrolment advertisement in a daze, Yan Chenli, who was coming back around from the main entrance, saw him. He was carrying a small black bag on his back, and he ran over to Shen Lu and patted him on the shoulder, “How come you haven’t gone back? Were you waiting for me?”

Shen Lu looked at the posters without turning his head, and suddenly asked, “Are you going to leave?”

“Yeah, it’s so late, we should be heading back home. Let’s go?” Yan Chenli took off the formal bowtie and straightened out his collar, while rolling up the sleeves of his shirt in his usual manner.

“I’m not talking about that.” Shen Lu looked at the words ‘World Tour’ written on the poster, and turned his head back as he spoke, “What I meant was, are you going to leave this town soon?”

Yan Chenli’s tone was light as he nodded, “Ah, yeah, I’m not originally from here. I came with the show to stay for a few days, my home is in Yinjiang. Though I also don’t have many opportunities to stay home.”

That’s right, Shen Lu thought. Yinjiang was one of the top economic centres of East Asia, it was truly more like the kind of place he should be in.

Yan Chenli, who was a head shorter than Shen Lu, raised a hand to pat him on the shoulder, “Let’s go, I’ll take you back!”

Shen Lu still didn’t move, he just stared at the bottom part of that new music student enrolment advertisement, where there was a tear-away section with contact numbers, hesitating about whether he should take one with him or not.

He asked again: “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow.” Yan Chenli said with a smile.

Shen Lu let out an oh. He looked away from that row of contact numbers, turned around, and walked back.

The concert ended very early, but the streets were still very lively. There were stalls by the side of the street with cheap plastic products and sweet ice popsicles, and everything returned to the appearance Shen Lu knew best.

Shen Lu lowered his head and looked at the shadows cast by the street lights, he held on to the books and dragged his feet with his head hanging down, even his shadow looked lifeless, and Yan Chenli bounced beside him, clearly in a good mood.

“I actually still have a question.” After walking for a little while, Yan Chenli suddenly asked.

“Do you hate them? Those people who hurt you?”

Shen Lu looked down at the books in his arms, and then at his own arms. The pages of the books were yellow, old, and a little wrinkled, and there was a row of messy cuts and wounds on his arms. These yellowed old books had been left behind and forgotten on the shelf for so many years, and it was only when Yan Chenli came that they were able to see the light again in these past few days. But Yan Chenli would leave soon, and the books would also be returned to a dark corner nobody cared about, nothing had changed, and they were no different from waste paper.

Shen Lu remained silent, neither nodding nor shaking his head.

Yan Chenli waited patiently for his answer, looking over at him from time to time.

Shen Lu suddenly frowned, “It shouldn’t be like this.”

“Like what?” Yan Chenli looked at him.

“I shouldn’t hate them. You should tell me that I shouldn’t hate them, to look for more of my own reasons, and then to not cause trouble… My parents, my teachers, everyone else says so.”

“And then?” Yan Chenli continued asking.

“And then I nod and say okay. And the matter ends.” Shen Lu hung his head.

Shen Lu heard Yan Chenli sigh slightly.

“But it doesn’t end. You know that.” He said.

Shen Lu didn’t say anything. He thought, yeah, but it was only because his own life didn’t end. When he disappeared from this world, his neighbours, classmates, teachers, parents… everyone, perhaps they would all breathe a sigh of relief.

“…You don’t want to admit that you hate them.” Yan Chenli’s voice became very soft, “You hate them, and you hate yourself, right?”

Shen Lu stiffly clenched his fists, and finally nodded.

The stupid and malicious crowd, and his incompetent and cowardly self. Shen Lu always thought the entire world was rotten, but then he unintentionally ran into Yan Chenli. He was smart and hard-working, and extremely bright and beautiful. It was as if the whole world was loudly proclaiming, the unbearable ones are just you and the people around you. The unbearable ones are all the mediocre people like you.

“Tell me, what is 1+1?” Yan Chenli suddenly caught him off guard by asking.

“?” Shen Lu was a little confused, “What do you mean… are you teasing me?”

“No, no, just tell me.” Yan Chenli spoke with a tone sounded a bit like that of a spoiled child, “I guarantee you that every single word will be very important in the following conversation. Please give me a bit of your time.”

“2.” Shen Lu couldn’t find a way out, so he answered honestly.

“What about 80724÷1922?” Yan Chenli asked again.

“…?” Shen Lu was puzzled, tilting his head and trying to calculate, “I can’t. I need to get… a pen and paper for this.”

“There are two systems of human thought.” Yan Chenli raised two fingers, gesturing as he spoke, “This is a concept in cognitive science and behavioural economics, one is called the fast system, and one is called the slow system.”

“What?” The topic was changing too fast for Shen Lu to keep up with.

“The fast system is a system that handles simple issues. Whether its driving a car, eating food, doing the laundry, or running, and when you’re doing these things, I can ask you what 2-1 is and you can immediately tell me the answer is 1 without having to stop walking or doing what you were doing. The part of the brain that handles these kinds of simple problems is the fast system.” Yan Chenli continued speaking.

Shen Lu didn’t know why he was talking about this, but he was still unconsciously listening.

“And the slow system is the system that handles complex issues that require you to spend time, concentration, energy, and thought. You can’t drive a car and figure out what 80724÷1922 is at the same time, you have to stop the other things you’re doing and, like you said, use pen and paper to wholeheartedly make the calculation. Of course, I mean without using a calculator to cheat. ——Like right now. Have you noticed your footsteps slowed down?”

Shen Lu looked at his steps in surprise, he had indeed slowed down unconsciously. He nodded, and Yan Chenli continued talking.

“Now, let’s assume that in scenario one, there is someone by your side who asks you, how much is 1+1, how much is 2+1, and other questions of this degree every ten minutes. What would you think?”

Shen Lu thought about it: “It would seem a little annoying. But it wouldn’t be unbearable.”

“Okay. Then let’s assume that in scenario two, the person next to you asks you, how much is 80724÷1922, how much is (79494+1230)÷1922, how much is 138138÷(1991+1229+69), and so on and so forth every ten minutes.” Yan Chenli thought as he spoke, and the pace of the two of them slowed down, “No matter what you are doing, whether it is riding a bike, eating food, lining up at checkout, watching a movie, playing ball, whatever, you have to stop the other things you’re doing and make the calculations, and you can only continue after you’ve given the answer. Or, you can write it down for the time being and then complete at least 72 maths problems after coming home every night. Of course, doing these problems brings you no benefits or feedback, or even any need to do them. What would you think?”

“…Don’t say that, I would go crazy.” Shen Lu put himself in those shoes for a little and immediately felt irritated.

Yan Chenli laughed: “Haha, yes. You know that these problems are actually not difficult, it’s addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication, which all primary school students can understand. But I would surely fight that annoying guy if they interrupted my daily life so often.”

“So, why are you talking about this?” Shen Lu was curious.

“Don’t rush, let’s continue. If a greater force made you make a choice every ten minutes, but you could choose the type of problem to be a simple problem like the 1+1 in scenario one, or a relatively complex problem like in scenario two, how would you choose?”

“Of course I would pick the simple 1+1 types.” Shen Lu felt like he was talking nonsense.

“Yes, everyone would make that choice. The slow system of thought has limited energy, so it gets tired very easily. Our brain is even more lazy than us, so it will never actively use the slow system to handle things when it can use the fast one.

“1+1 is the fast system, and so are emotions.” Yan Chenli looked at him seriously.

“When you hear others insulting and cursing you, you feel angry. When you get betrayed and ignored, you feel hurt. And maybe if you hear a ghost story, you feel fear. Emotion and intuition are instinctual reactions, you don’t need to intentionally spend energy to achieve them, so it is the fast system.

“Then, the brain will immediately tell you, I’m done dealing with this event, we don’t need to spend any more energy on it, we can get off work, yeah!

“Everyone receives countless pieces of information all day long, meeting a different person, hearing thousands upon thousands of words, dealing with your teachers, classmates, work, homework, life, social interactions, too many things to count. The benefit of the fast system is that it can help you save a large amount of energy by using the 1+1=2 approach to deal with a majority of the problems. But the bad thing is that it is superficial, impulsive, and acts blindly with no reason.

“Death brings about disease and all kinds of unknown fears, and hiding from danger is an instinct every living being has. The reason why people reject ‘different’, and why they alienate and hurt you, is not because human nature is evil, cold, and ugly, but rather because they are unable to understand what is happening, hence they give in to their living instinct of maximising benefits while avoiding harm. Most people are just controlled by their lazy fast systems, and they don’t realise what they’re actually doing.

“Modern medicine began in the 16th century with the founding of the study of human anatomy, and so far humans have spent over five hundred years and still have not been able to completely study the secrets of the human body. You’re looking into a huge and complicated subject, and that’s a hard thing. Not everyone has the desire to learn and think about it like you do.”

Yan Chenli spoke for a long time within a single breath, and Shen Lu listened quietly.

“I seem to understand your thoughts a little.” He said.

Yan Chenli smiled, “I hope you don’t mind if I speak too much. As a matter of fact, a few sentences can convey very little, and there must be some discrepancy between what I’m saying now and what you’re hearing. I need at least one million words of text to accurately describe the core details of what I want to convey, so I’ve already condensed it as much as possible. So, please be a little patient and let me finish speaking, okay?”

Shen Lu nodded vigorously.

“Now, let me give you two examples, both of which are true. Number one, a junior high school student has an altercation with their parents and jumps from a building out of resentment, dying.”

Shen Lu frowned a little uncomfortably upon hearing this. That was something that happened last week at his school, and the ambulance had driven by in front of his eyes. The town was so small word of it had long since spread around.

Yan Chenli continued speaking, “Number two, the rare-earth tandem extraction method has successfully been implemented, creating an all-time high record for separation coefficients.”

Shen Lu stared blankly as he listened, “I’m sorry, wait… what is that?”

“A type of new rare-earth technology. Rare earths are known as ‘surfactants’ and are used in everything from civilian equipment to cutting-edge technology. Everything from high-speed rails, airplanes, and atomic reactors, down to the electronic components for cellphones. This will break through the technology blockade monopoly and dramatically reduce manufacturing costs, which will benefit every ordinary person in the future. In short, it’s a huge accomplishment.”

Shen Lu couldn’t keep up again, and Yan Chenli looked at him and laughed, “How was it? That was a negative piece of news and a positive one, wasn’t the feeling you got from hearing them completely different?”

Shen Lu nodded.

When he heard about his schoolmate jumping off the building, he immediately felt angry and helpless. On one hand, he could understand the suffering of a child faced with their parents’ ruthless and unyielding control who had nowhere to turn, and on the other hand, he felt like doing this kind of thing was really too foolish.

And when he heard about the progress for rare-earth technology, his first reaction was: what does that have to do with me? And even when Yan Chenli explained that this technology would benefit all living things, he still thought that this thing was a little too far removed from his own life.

“You see, this is a very important accomplishment, but very few people know about it. This is because it takes a great deal of background knowledge to understand its importance, you need complete understanding of the relevant modern history, physics, chemistry, economics, sociology, and so on and so forth, so this threshold is very high.

“When you mobilise this knowledge, you’re unconsciously using careful thought, so you need the slow system to pick up this information, which offsets the impulsive emotional urges.

“However, the bad news were not the same, they were simple, rough, blunt, and they didn’t have any kind of threshold. And since there was no threshold for the bad news, there was also no threshold for the emotions. For the lazy brain, this is a double whammy. When you see a loss, an atrocity, or a tragedy, the brain automatically switches to the fast system, and immediately uses anger or sadness or another kind of emotion to handle it, and then goes to rest.

“Like this, your brain skips work and leaves you wallowing in sadness, pain, and remorse.”

Yan Chenli stopped walking, then turned his gaze to look attentively at him, earnestly and sincerely saying,

“Shen Lu, don’t lose to it.”

“I never think human nature is mean, vicious, selfish, or ugly. Most people are neither good nor bad, they are just being hijacked by their fast systems and emotions.”

Shen Lu thought about it: “…You mean, most people don’t really think about things.”

“No. I think people take the ‘human intelligence’ thing too much for granted. As if the act of reflecting and thinking is something every single person can easily accomplish.” Yan Chenli looked up at him with a calmness on his face that didn’t fit with his age.

“I believe thinking is hard, very, very hard. It requires large stores of knowledge, the motivation and passion of a thirst for knowledge, an abundant strength of mind and concentration, a steady foundational base, breaking free from being hijacked by emotions, long hours of training and hard work, and also a humble and open mind. I believe not being able to think comprehensively is normal, and that ignorance is normal. Thinking is far more challenging than most people imagine, and if you don’t realise how valuable it is, you won’t be able to use it rationally without being hijacked by your emotions.

“You feel curiosity, and you have questions, which is a very good thing. You have a passion for learning and you are willing to act, to go read, observe, reflect, and interact, which is a very, very beautiful thing.”

This brief journey had finally reached its end, and Yan Chenli had already walked Shen Lu downstairs. He stopped walking at the door, and softly said,

“That’s not a crime, don’t punish yourself for it.”

Shen Lu also stopped in place.

Yan Chenli would leave the town tomorrow. This person, who was as dazzling and ephemeral as a shooting star, burst into his world with no explanation, and would then disappear again completely unreasonably.

Shen Lu didn’t know how much he could remember. He took out a pencil and paper and used the hard cover of the books he’d borrowed to write down on, scratching away with the lead of the pencil.

“42.” Shen Lu spoke suddenly.

Yan Chenli looked at him with raised brows, the starlight in his eyes flickering slightly.

“The answer to those maths problems just now…” Shen Lu spoke very slowly, “Since your footsteps slowed down a lot every time you mentioned each of those complex problems. I guessed you must not have been speaking at random. The answer to the first two is 42, the last one was too long for me to remember, but I’m guessing it was also 42?”

Yan Chenli’s eyes curved as he smiled, “That’s correct, here, it’s a reward.” Yan Chenli took out a ripe red apple from his bag as if he was conjuring it up with magic, pulled Shen Lu’s hand over, and stuffed it into his palm, “Comrade Xiao Shen has a promising future, I wonder if you’re interested in being a criminal police officer with me in the future?”

“You want work in criminal police?” Shen Lu lowered his head to look at the apple, “I thought you’d want to be a detective… maybe a musician… or a scientist or something.”

“Those are all pretty good, I’ll consider it.” Yan Chenli smiled, “In the event that my choice deviates from my expectations in the course of its practice.”

“I’ll also… I’ll also consider it.” Shen Lu stammered as he gripped the apple tightly, “If I can do it. I will try my best…”

Yan Chenli waved his hand carelessly, “I was joking. Hmm——If I really were to say, forensic investigation fits you much better. I’ll be leaving, then, you better get back home soon.”

“Wai—wait! …Why is it 42?” Shen Lu asked loudly behind him.

“Good question, why is that? Congratulations, you now have a new treasure chest!” Yan Chenli had already hopped very far away, and he turned around and waved at Shen Lu, “If you know the answer next time we meet, let me know.”

After that, Shen Lu spent the rest of his life trying to get close to Yan Chenli.

Because he’d said “next time we meet”.

As if he’d taken for granted that there would be a next time, and he was also looking forward to meeting Shen Lu again.

Thirteen years later, a 30-year-old Shen Lu joined Yinjian’s Bureau of Criminal Investigation just as he’d wanted. On his first day on duty, the group leader took him to meet each one of his co-workers, and Yan Chenli had just walked in carrying a cardboard box full of folders. Before the group leader could speak, Yan Chenli looked at Shen Lu, then walked over to him with large strides and freed one of his hands to shake his, “New guy? Hi, nice to meet you, I’m the Captain of the Violent Crime Investigation Squad, Yan Chenli.” Then Yan Chenli turned around and patted the cardboard box without waiting for Shen Lu’s reply, “A new situation has been linked to an old string of robberies, these are the materials from back then, you should all hurry up and look through them, there’ll be a meeting in half an hour. Xiao He, go and tell Han Xue and the others that they don’t need to check the mall’s surveillance and to immediately come back and assemble at the office. Team two, come with me.”

Yan Chenli spoke quickly and without stopping as he finished conveying his instructions, pointing to a few people who hurriedly left and, in the blink of an eye, there was no one left.

This was the reunion Shen Lu had waited thirteen years for, and it was over in less than ten seconds.

Yan Chenli had already become a mature and reliable investigator in a high position, and he was one of the key figures in the Investigation Department. Yan Chenli was brave, sharp, heroic, and even more dazzling than he was when he was young.

And just as he had expected, Yan Chenli didn’t remember him at all. He was never able to be as close to Yan Chenli again as he was during those brief three days when he was seventeen years old.

Shen Lu cautiously kept his distance, and kept his secret.

Until his death.