Before You Leave Me - Chapter 3

Its 6am, and its still dark outside. I head straight for the kitchen to make myself a fresh cup of coffee, I would make dad a cup but he’s more into vodka. I clean my room to where it looks sparkly clean, grab my backpack, get dressed, and head for my car. No more heartbreaks no more passed out drunk fathers, no more anything. After what seemed like the longest drive of my life, I made it to the bridge. The bridge where Daisy and I kissed, the bridge where I use to walk pass on my way home from school. This bridge knows me, and I know it, we’re connected. I drop my backpack take out my phone and hit record: ”Dad if your watching this just know that I’m sorry and I believe in you. I know its been hard since mom left but u gotta stop drinking dad you gotta stop. I love you and mom very much and you both will always no matter what stay in my heart. I’m sorry. Goodbye.” I saved the recording to my videos and slid my phone back into my backpack for someone to find it once I’m gone. Step. Step. I put each leg over the other side of the bridge, looking down I see people that look like tiny dots from all the way up here. I count to 10 before I jump. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. ” yo! What the heck do you think your doing!? Hey you!!” I look back, I see someone, the first person I’ve seen since I’ve been up here. Light blue hair, green eyes and just pretty in general. I close my eyes to hopefully drown her out, I continue my counting and I feel myself slowly releasing the grip of the bars I was holding unto. I feel lighter, and I feel myself starting to tip over. I feel a soft hand (not as soft as Daisy’s were) touch my wrist. Before I know it I’m on the cement and laying on the ground. She yanked me over before I could jump. Dizziness feels my head as I lay on the cold cement trying to grab hold to my thoughts. ”What the heck man! Are you ok?!” she says standing on her feet dusting her bright yellow shirt off. ”I’m I… why did you…” I try to speak but nothing makes any sense. THIS IS NOT HOW ITS SUPPOSE TO GO, I’m not suppose to be saved, why did she save me? ”why did” I can’t manage to finish my sentence. She reaches for my hand and I take hers as she helps me get up on my feet. ”I’m Lola, are you ok? I’m happy I decided to come up here when I did” I open my mouth, but no words come out, am I dreaming? Am I dead? Or is this real. I feel her touch my arm in sympathy, I’m not a sad little puppy and I don’t need her sympathy. Not one bit of it. I snatch away, ” I’m fine, you can leave now” I say, reaching for my bag wishing I could just teleport back home. ”doesn’t look like you are. Someone who’s about to jump off a bridge isn’t fine” she says in a low voice almost seeming like she didn’t want me to hear her say it. I walk. I walk as fast as I can. I never wanna see this bridge again, I never want to see her again. 10 minutes away from home and I feel tears forming in my eyes. I’m not a coward, she just saved me out of nowhere, I didn’t chicken out, I DIDN’T CHICKEN OUT. The house is completely dark, and it smellsclean. I forgot what clean smelled like. No sign of dad, you would think this would make me happy, but it just makes me scared. I don’t wanna think anymore for the day, I wouldn’t have to think at all if it wasn’t for that Lily girl, or was her name Lola? Lola, I think that’s it. Nothing seems to register in my mind but sleep. I feel numb, like that feeling u get when you put a rubber band around your finger for too long. Its not just numbness on my finger this time its everywhere I don’t think I can take it. Bed, bed, bed is all that I thin- Yoo what’s up man! I’m throwing a party tonight at my place you have to come! Starts at 9. Reads a message from Jacob, why do I still have his number? Sure, I’m done, I’ll be there. I text back a few minutes later, I don’t wanna think, I don’t feel anything anymore so why not go get drunk and forget about my problems even if its just for one night. I know what your thinking I AM NOT LIKE MY DAD. I just I just need a freaking break for once, its not like I’m gonna be a whole alcoholic after this. My phone lights up for no apparent reason, almost as if its telling me to leave before I’m late like that matters at this point. Its 8:58 according to my phone and I guess I should probably leave but my body doesn’t move one bit.