Beloved Tyrant - Chapter 2

When I was eight years old, a local baron brought a clown, saying that he was a gift dedicated to the Emperor.

The clown’s body was that of an eight year old and twisted, like an old tree would be.

But he had a talent, he could make people laugh whether they were eight years old or eighty years old.

Whenever he made a joke on a sensitive topic, my brother and other nobles would laugh and applaud at him rather than punishing him.

It was because it was an unwritten rule that you should overlook whatever was said by the clown.

The lively fool soon became a court clown and was called upon at every banquet to liven it up.

He played me with me on the days he wasn’t entertaining nobles.

On one of those days, he replied to my question enquiring what his name was.

“Your highness, clowns like me have no names. I’m usually called either an idiot, a fool or a moron. So choose which one you prefer to call me by.”

However, the clown was neither an idiot, fool or moron.

He was well-versed in various topics and had the ability to easily teach what he knew to children.

Above all else, he was really good at playing chess.

I played dozens of rounds with him but rarely won.

Not so long ago, I had told my father about this and had gotten scolded for not being able to beat a stupid clown.

My father didn’t know anything.

The Clown wasn’t stupid.

“Why are you acting like an idiot?”

“Because I am an idiotic clown.”

“No, you’re intelligent.”

He shrugged as if it was the first time he had ever heard such a thing in his life.

“Everyone pretends to be smart in front of my father so that he’ll give them a reward. But why do you, who are smart, act stupid in front of him?”

The clown looked at the chessboard.

I was at a loss.

“Your Highness, I know you’re trying to stall for more time. You have 10 seconds left.”

“I’m trying to stall for time! I really am curious!”

“Then, I’ll tell you why when you’re older.”

“I’m already all grown up.”

By the time one is 8 years old, they always think that they are all grown up.

I used to think the same.

“Your Highness is indeed all grown up, but will be bigger in the future. Would you like me to go easy on you?”

“Mhmm.”
[T/N: Mhmm = yes]

I had won the round.

He cried out saying “I’ve been playing chess for twenty years!”

I was angry.

It was not the clown, but me who felt wronged.

I didn’t win because I was good at the game.

I won because the clown played in such a way so that I could.

“Idiot! Fool! Moron! Do you think I’m an idiot? I know you let me win!”

“God, who let you win? Your Highness is just that good at chess…. ow, aaargh, your Highness please don’t pinch me!”

“Let’s play again!”

I also won the next game.

And then the next.

The clown grumbled and said ‘What did I say? I never let you win!’

To be honest, it felt good winning so many times in a row.

In fact, I began thinking I was really good at chess.

However, there was no way that someone who was winning multiple rounds in a row, suddenly started losing.

“Again!”

This time, I purposely moved my pieces in strangely so that I would lose.

But, yet again, I had won.

The clown looked at me while he was organizing the chess pieces.

“Are you angry?”

“I’m not angry.”

I wasn’t angry.

It was unfair that the feeling of victory was not fairly gotten.

I resented that I had accepted what was spoon-fed to me.

“What did my father say to you?”

“What do you mean Your Highness?”

“Did he want you to lose to me every time?”

He tried to distract me by bringing cards, juggling chess pieces and twirling around the room.

In the end he surrendered to my constant questioning.

My guess was correct.

My father ordered the clown to never win a single round against me.

The reason being that a measly clown should never dare to beat a member of the royal family.

“But that’s weird. If that happend, my chess skills wouldn’t improve.”

“But I’m a clown, not a chess teacher.”

The clown scratched his head.

“You asked me why I act foolish in front of His Majesty right? Well that’s because he wants that from a clown.”

“Then why did you become a clown! Become my chess teacher instead!”

The clown patted my head and grinned.

“Your Highness will understand when you’re older.”

I began organizing the chess pieces which were made of ivory and ebony.

They were a present from my father for my seventh birthday.

I was glad to receive it but I didn’t know how to play chess.

There was never anyone there to teach me it.

So I only ever used the chess board for decoration or playing house.

That was until the clown began to play with me.

He was the only person I could play against. I was upset that my only chess opponent was forced to lose against me.

I threw the chess pieces I was organizing.

The clown said it was expensive and began picking them up.

I simply sat on the chair and complained.

“It’s not fun to win like this.”

“Your Highness, don’t you feel better about winning fake games rather than continuously losing?”

“I don’t like losing, but the feeling of a fake win makes me feel worse. It’s not fun if you keep losing on purpose too. I feel bad to…”

“Well, I’m not particularly upset about it… hahahaha!”

The clown laughed loudly for a long time.

“I’m sorry for laughing so much. I should be the one making Your Highness laugh, but what’s happening? Alright. Thank you for considering this clown’s feelings.”

I lost the next round.

I proudly lied to my father saying that I had won all the games.

His reaction showed that he had no particular interest in the matter.

Since then, we had become a type of partner in crime (I learned this word from clown!) that shared a secret.

I lost countless times but won quite a few. On each occasion, the clown was sincerely frustrated and praised me.

He also taught me many things beside chess.

For example, how to survive.

“Soon, His Highness Prince Aurest will be back.”

At 12, I was very nervous about the return of the bastard Aurest, who left for the Western front of the empire five years ago.

“Be careful Your Highness. His Highness Prince Aurest will not welcome you.”

The most likely candidate for Crown Prince was Aurest since my eldest brother, Hector, had died 5 years ago.

He was a brilliant son of a bitch who could kill his own brother to ensure his succession to the throne.

I was afraid and worried about whether Aurest would try to kill me when he came back.

“Princess, do you want to be the Emperor?”

I cowered.

“Not really…. I’m not confident enough to fight against Aurest and win. I also don’t have enough confidence to take responsibility for the empire.”

“You have good self-observation skills, I don’t think our kind princess will be able to win fighting against that vicious prince either. Honestly, your influence isn’t great either huh hey, hey, don’t pinch me! It hurts!”

The clown gently rubbed the back of his hand, where I pinched, with teary eyes.

His right hand was smaller than his left, and twisted into a strange shape.

“So princess, smile like a good child. Look lovable, easy going and naive. Make them think you’re not an obstacle so it would be useless to get rid of you.”

“Do you want me to become a clown in front of Aurest?”

“It’s similar, but don’t be arrogant like I am.”

“So you know you act arrogantly?”

“Of course I do! A true clown is arrogant even in front of the powerful.”

The clown impudently raised his nose.

“But you, you should not like a clown but a doll, a pretty bisque doll decorated with pretty ribbons and jewels.”

An expression of bitterness was made on the clown’s face.

“Please them and act cutely. You can easily do it because you’re quick witted and smart. With His Highness’ protection, you will be able to live a long life. You may even be able to live quite happily.”

His face which calmly told of such horrific things seemed somewhat melancholic.

So I intentionally spoke in a cheerful tone.

“Clown! I’m 12! Do you want to say such things to 12 year olds?”

“I don’t feel good about telling you this either.”

The clown sighed.

“Listen carefully princess, if you’re tired of it all and don’t think you can do it anymore, and if you want to fight Prince Aurest, tell me. Do you understand?”

He briefly breathed in and spoke softly.

“I will then tell you my real name.”

“Didn’t you say that a clown doesn’t have a real name?”

“Do you remember me saying that?”

“Of course! My memory is very good.”

I proudly stuck my chest out with pride.

The clown chuckled.

“I had a life becoming a clown you know? I’m talking about a name of that time. Anyways, if you want to, you have to tell me.”

He told me this several times and even made me promise with my pinky finger.

However, acting cute and giving flattery was somehow manageable.

Aurest whom I met at the victory celebration banquet was wonderful.

His golden hair, which shone like the halo of a saint, rested over skin tanned with a light olive colour, and his shoulders and chest were strong as was expected of someone who had been on the battlefield.

A relaxed and confident attitude surrounded his body like a well-fitted suit, his entire aura was that of a powerful man.

And that cold gaze.

I, who was wearing a blue dress, made eye contact with him.

I smiled brightly, like a girl who met her ‘one and only brother’ for the first time in a long time, and then kept that expression.

I came up to him and greeted him as if one would to an adult.

“Brother Aurest, congratulations on your victory.”

Aurest who looked at me as if he was studying me, soon smiled brightly and reached his hand out.

“Long time no see Erin. Kids sure grow up fast, you’ve already become a young lady in the few years I was gone.”

I held his hand with a smile on my face.

I felt the calluses embedded in his hands.

He must have used these hands to kill countless people on the western front.

Furthermore, he must have killed even more using the hands of others.

And here I am smiling at such a man.

It was to prevent a son of a bitch who killed his older brother when he was only fifteen and disguised it as an accident, from killing his younger sister of 12 years as well.

“You must have been born under the star of an actor. I’m not flattering you, I really am being serious. Is that being arrogant too?”

“So you know you’re being arrogant?”

I genuinely laughed.