Better Than One - Chapter 3 Call Of The Moose.

The following morning Estra was in a better mood; maybe she had a catharsis, or maybe it was the after effect of the night tea that Zeeld gave us. Regardless, she started the day off by using up all her regenerated mana to [Heal] Kobolds in the infirmary. Thankfully, I didn’t have to coerce her this time; I still felt bad about having to do it.

Zeeld was thrilled. Estra healed up three yesterday, and another four this morning, with just as many left. Two of them were his sons, including the oldest who is supposed to take over after Zeeld dies. While she healed, we talked about our situation and how to fix our two-headed problem.

“I don’t have time for this! I have to send a letter to my father.” She said anxiously.

“Is it possible that your father may no longer be alive?” I asked, and she thought over it for a minute.

“I could send it to my uncle.” She suggested, looking downcast.

“How? We can’t approach humans, and I doubt sending one of these kobolds would work.”

“Argh, I hate this. What did I do to deserve this!” She growled. We talked it over some more, but couldn’t come up with any plan that wouldn’t put us in serious risk of death. Zeeld didn’t know of any monster to human couriers either.

The fight with the rival Kobold clan was coming up in three days, and according to Zeeld it was more bravado than actual battle, though occasionally some would get hurt and even get killed. It was a fight over the mountain’s resources, a Kobold territory clash. If Zeeld’s clan wins, then they would gain mining territory – a lucrative gain and a much needed source of ore. Kobolds live to mine, and mine to smith. Zeeld promised us new equipment and sharp weapons if they win, with our help of course.

In the meantime, he gave us a battered wooden shield, that was in actuality a door, and a large wooden club, which was just a piece of lumber they haven’t cut up for firewood yet. They fashioned it with a handle and a grip, and stuck some rusted nails on the opposite end; if the bashing wouldn’t kill you, then tetanus would. The shield was fashioned with a rope loop so we could wear it on our back, and allowed Estra to continue casting with her left hand, if needed.

It wasn’t so much that he was greedy, which he partly was, but there was nothing our size to equip and wear. The kobolds are no more than 3.5 to 4.0 feet tall, and weighed around 50 lbs. They were like children, and I had to be careful not to step on one by accident.

It was hard to get a sense of their numbers, because they all looked the same to me. There was a constant activity as many would go in and out of the tunnels, coming back with ore, or coming to eat. The smithy was constantly busy turning ore into iron ingots, and then iron into tools, weapons, and armor. As much as I was interested in the smithy, Estra on the other hand, wanted to go outside for fresh air.

“I can’t stay here, living in a cave like an animal!” She said, as soon as we were out, walking through mostly melted snow. I didn’t know if she was claustrophobic or wanted to get some fresh air. The cave tended to get a bit stuffy, especially with all the burning wood and charcoal.

“What do you propose we do? And don’t say to go see your father, uncle, aunt, or grandma. They’ll kill us on sight!” I sighed.

“I don’t know.” She said, in a disheartened tone.

“Do you have any friends that are not human? Maybe a distant troll, or an orc acquaintance?” I said jokingly and to my surprise she barked out a laugh.

“Oh look, a winterbell!” Estra said, and we walked over to find a green plant with white flowers that look like bells. “It means winter is here.” She yanked it out and started eating the bell flowers that looked tiny in her ogre hand. “They’re sweet.”

And so, we spent a good part of the morning going from one winterbell to another, like bees. She wouldn’t share any with me, so I didn’t get a chance to even try one. It wasn’t a conflict worth starting. Picking flowers seemed to lift her mood, so I left it at that.

She’d pick and eat the flowers while I acted as a lookout. I made sure that we wouldn’t get lost by dragging the club behind me to leave a noticeable trail. I asked her about her family, and the conversation quickly degraded to how she’s going to kill her brother, and put him in a troll body. She also told me quite bluntly how hideous I looked, and that I should stop looking in her direction when I spoke to her. I needed to get a mirror.

It was high noon when her sweet tooth was satisfied, so we lumbered back towards the kobold cave. It seemed that this Ogre body was seriously out of shape. It was something I needed to fix, and a walk like today was a good start. But before going inside, there was something important that we both knew we had to do. It would be a test of courage and will, a challenge, perhaps even a bonding moment. We needed to poop.

I broached the topic which I knew was squarely on her mind. “Over there.” I pointed to a bit of brush to provide us cover. She reluctantly nodded, and looked away. I settled on a spot, squatted and tugged the loincloth down. It was happening.

She started to cry, yet again, but it was quickly drowned out by exhaustive, minute long evacuation accompanied by a thunderous applause. A moose mating call, if you will. By the time we were done, she stopped sobbing and was deathly silent, petrified. Whereas myself, I was rather proud of the tiny hill we built together. I considered giving her a high-five.

We had an easier time squeezing through the entrance to the Kobold’s cave. At the infirmary she spent the mana that she regenerated over our walk. I haven’t seen her so solemn and quiet before.

“How do I do magic?” I asked her. She didn’t respond for a minute, something else was still squarely on her mind. We were having lunch, well, I was. For some reason she had an aversion to the meat and stew they were feeding us. I hoped she wasn’t vegetarian. What did royalty eat after all?

“What’s your class?” She asked without looking at me. Perhaps it was the way I was eating our meal. I figured I was a hideous ogre, what pray tell me did manners mean at this point?

“A class? I have a class?” I said, my mouth full of half-chewed food. What I wouldn’t give for some salt – everything tasted bland here. And maybe some black pepper.

“It’s on your status screen, top center.” She didn’t call me stupid for a change, I felt that we were making progress together. I brought up my status screen, and nothing of the sort was there.

“Nope, it just says, ‘Evolve.’ What does Evolve mean? Is that my class?” I asked.

She looked at me with an irritated look on her face and sighed. “Show me your status screen.”

“How?”

“Are you kidding me!? How can you be so stupid? Just bring up the screen, and then motion it over to me. Argh!” Never mind about making progress. I did as she instructed me, and she stared out into a space between us.

“Oh. That’s … interesting.” She said. “Huh. You don’t have a class, but you can evolve into other monsters. Just select the Evolve option and see.” She had calmed down, and even looked concerned. I tried selecting the [Evolve] option and was presented with a short list of monsters and their corresponding costs in Essence.

Two-Headed Troll 24,000

Two-Headed Half-Giant 26,000

Two-Headed Draconian 30,000

Two-Headed Lesser Devil 32,000

Interesting indeed. All the options were of the two-headed variety. I don’t suppose I could somehow [Evolve] away from her. I only have 805 Essence to my name, and all the options also have steep attribute requirements before I can even consider spending Essence that I don’t have. It was a problem for another time.

“So I can’t do magic?” I asked.

“Doesn’t look like it. Unless you can get your hands on a spell tome. Those you can buy, or get them in the dungeons.” She said, and then waited for me to finish eating our lunch before she brought up a touchy subject.

“I need to improve my physical condition. I can’t be losing my breath after a short walk like today.” She said, and I was floored. Did she read my mind? It was exactly what I wanted to tell her, but dreaded saying it. Could you imagine suggesting to a princess that she might be fat, and needed to exercise?

“So … by that, you mean what?” I asked her; maybe there was a magical way to get into shape that she had in mind.

“Running and exercising, what else could it mean?” She rolled her eyes. “Look at this,” she slapped her hand on our belly, causing it wobble like a jelly. “This is no way for a princess to look.” She said, and I laughed. That belly was the least of her ‘princess’ problems. Technically, we’re more in the ‘prince’ territory now.

“Alright, that sounds great, when do we start?” I said.

“After a nap, of course, that’s when I always train.” She said. Obviously, how could I forget – princess needs her nappy time. Though, I shouldn’t complain, who doesn’t like a good afternoon nap, especially when well fed as we are. Zeeld has been more than generous with food portions, especially since his sons were up and about, healthy as ever.

We didn’t have any other duties besides an occasional [Heal] when she had the mana, and there was still another three days left to the bravado battle. Zeeld has filled us in on the details, and it was a rather simple ordeal. They would square up combatants in an arena, six from each clan, against each other. Whichever side was still in the arena after the second gong was rung, they would be declared winners. Now, this would have been a bloodbath for any other race, but for Kobolds it was a perfect test. That’s because Kobolds are born cowards, and the arena has six exits, all wide and open, begging to be used. They’ll fight when they have to, especially when cornered, but there’s a reason they got all these tunnels everywhere. This is where we come in. Clans can have guests fight for them, if they can afford it. And Estra and I, well, we get paid in food and lodging.

Estra’s healing happened to benefit the more ‘courageous’ ones in this clan, which is probably why they were hurt to begin with, come to think of it. These will be the same ones who will be in the arena with us in three days, if they don’t run off first. That’s another common problem for these battles. Sometimes the other side just doesn’t show up.

Maybe it was the morning walk in fresh air, or the filling meal, but Estra was out cold as soon as we hit the rug for our nap. We had to sleep on our back because of the odd shape of our body. It was far more wide than deep, and I could only imagine her drooling down on top of me if we slept on our side, which is what she was doing now, but at least it was running down her neck.

I don’t know if it was the un-princess like snoring as loud as a lawnmower, or the many thoughts running through my head, but I stayed awake through our nap. I studied the status screen and read the few help screens that the System provided. And when I couldn’t distract my mind any longer, I finally broke down and cried. I wasn’t going to be there for when my daughter would grow up. I missed her dearly.