Black Romance - 49 Good For You

Jessie pushed herself up higher in the bed, letting out a long breath. “I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. Can we change the subject?” Pulling the blanket up to cover her chest, she looked down the bed, staring at her feet as they wiggled back and forth. “Why don’t you tell me how you ended up in this profession.”

“I was born into it, there’s not much more to it than that.”

“But why do you do it? Why do you think it’s alright to be this way? Why do you help such horrible people?”

Sitting beside her, I laid my hands in my lap, unsure how to answer. Nothing I did was really for the men that hired me. I didn’t care about their gains or losses. I was the last of a dying breed.

My father used to say, “If we don’t do this, then who will? It’s who we are, you were born for this. The world needs people like us, because no one else is going to do it.”

There was that red ribbon, perfectly tied for me to see my job as normal and accepted.

I wasn’t sure where all the anger I felt inside came from. But it was there, and I saw this job as a way to vent it. The men I killed weren’t normal people. They deserved what they got.

I thought of myself as a vigilante for the damned, a small light inside the darkness. At least if I was the one on the other end, I could rest my head at night knowing the right person had been hit and no one else got injured, or lost their life in the crossfire.

That made everything alright in my eyes. I was the angel that delivered to the evil.

“I’m good at what I do, Jessie, let’s just leave it at that.” Running a hand across the back of my neck, I frowned. “Nine. . .” Pausing, I eyed her, trying to imagine what it was like for her at such a young age. “And you’re still alive.”

I couldn’t even begin to fathom what her life had been like. The things she had probably seen were enough to ruin even the strongest soul. But she was still here, breathing the same as I was.

Knitting her brows, she tilted her head. “Why are you so surprised?”

Shrugging a shoulder, I laid my head back against the headboard. “It’s just hard to imagine is all. I’ve known Virgo for years, and I’ve never seen him keep someone that long.”

“Yeah, well, lucky me I guess.” Jessie let her head drop down as she began to fiddle with her nails. “So, what now?” she asked, allowing her eyes to soften as she glanced back in my direction. “What happens to me?”

It’s not what I want, but I don’t have a choice.

“Right now I think we both could use some rest, and tomorrow—” Cutting myself off, I couldn’t bear to say the words out loud.

I knew what she wanted, but I couldn’t give it to her.

Holding her eyes with mine, she nodded with sad acceptance. “Tomorrow I go back.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to, there’s nothing else I can do.”

Her chest lifted and fell as if she wanted to cry but refused to. “So this was what you could do for me? Give me a fucking orgasm and push me back into the hands of evil.”

“It’s how it has to be, Jessie, I don’t have any other choice. Even if I wanted to save you, the world I live in wouldn’t allow it.”

“Why not? You see what I live in, it couldn’t be any worse with you.”

She couldn’t understand. Jessie was living in the danger, it wasn’t chasing her. But if I stole her, she’d become my weakness. I wasn’t willing to risk that. I’d be forever worried that she’d die because of me.

How could I live with myself if I was the reason she got killed?

“It won’t work. You’d never be safe with me.”

Jessie held her breath as her eyes filled to the brim with tears. “Then why take me at all? Why not just leave me there?” Her voice quivered as she tried to stay strong.

“I just thought a night away would be good for you.”