Black Romance - 8 Fuck My Life

In the midst of all his torture, in some sick twisted way, I felt like he saw me as an extension of himself, like a daughter, only without the love and attentiveness a father should give. He would never give up, not on me. Because if he did, he’d have to admit his failure to himself.

And Virgo had too much of an ego to ever do that.

My resolve to listen was merely for myself, it was to save what was left of the girl I was, no matter how small that piece might be. I refused to let him destroy me completely, despite how broken I felt.

I was the lone sheep he had molded since childhood. None of the other girls had been with him as long as I had been.

Which was why I thought he hadn’t let anyone buy me. If a man came to him about wanting one of his girls, he already knew the price he would need for each one. It was mapped out in his mind, who was worth what, and how much it would take to give them away. But I was still there, not once had he ever talked about my price.

That only came up once, not a number, not an actual amount, it was just a question about my existence in his home. His response was enough for me to understand my value, according to Virgo, I wasn’t for sale.

Grinding his teeth, my silence was enough for him to know that our conversation wouldn’t go any further. “So be it.” Snapping his head, Virgo barked, “Take her, get her the fuck out of my sight.”

The man jerked his body forward, wrapping his thick arms around my waist. I tried to fight him, furiously flailing my arms at anything I could hit. His face, his chest, his neck and back, all of it was exposed. But I might as well have been hitting a wall, it did nothing.

Tossing me over his shoulder, the security guard stormed off towards the door. Wrapping his arm firmly around my hip, he pinned me in place so I couldn’t move.

Lifting my head to look at Virgo, he was relaxing back into his chair with a smug grin on his face. “One of these days you’ll learn, I just hope it’s sooner than later. You might think I’m the asshole, Jessie, but you keep doing this shit, I might have to sell you to a man who is far worse than me just to teach you a lesson.”

The door closed on my face as the guard walked out, leaving me with those last words from Virgo.

‘Sell you to a man who is far worse. . .’

The thought made me sick. Virgo was the devil, could there really be a man worse than him out there somewhere?

Dropping my body onto the cold concrete, the man took a step back and started to close the door. Jumping to my feet, I ran at the door with my arms out, trying to stop him from closing me inside.

“No! No! I wasn’t lying!” The door clicked shut, blackness consuming me. Pounding my fists on the smooth metal, my muscles shook with anger. “I don’t deserve this!”

He didn’t answer, most of Virgo’s muscle never did. They were spineless, brainless creatures who only functioned with orders.

I had done nothing to deserve the ditch. I had done nothing to deserve this life.

Not a fucking thing.

Virgo was gifted me when I was a child, a small present left over from a nightmare. Smuggling me over seas when I was eighteen years old to this wretched place after his empire collapsed in the states, he removed any chance for someone to find me.

I still didn’t know exactly what my father had done to make Virgo rip my family down the center. I still didn’t know if my father and siblings were out there somewhere in the world or if they were all dead. I tried to ask him once when I was too naive to see him for what he really was.

He didn’t answer, giving me a back hand instead. I never asked again.

For the first few years, things were alright. They weren’t good, but they weren’t horrible considering where I was now. He kept me hidden away, but he treated me fairly, as fairly as someone could without being kind. But the closer I got to coming of age, the firmer his reigns coiled around my body.

And after that meeting, I knew exactly what he wanted with me. I had promised myself that night when I laid in bed after the men left that I wouldn’t let him turn me into one of those women.

I tried, I tried so hard to fight him anyway I could. No matter how much he beat me, I pushed back. No matter how many times he threatened to starve me, I refused to eat. No matter how many times he threatened me with death, I begged him do it, I begged him to save me from all of this by ending it once and for all.

He never did. He kept me, he broke me down, he took who I was and crushed it between his fingers as if I was nothing more than a vile bug. But he never sold me. Maybe it was because he failed his conquest to mold me into his vision of perfection.

Regardless, I was here.

Broken, alone, sad, and angry; hating life because I didn’t have one worth living.

Dropping back against the wall, I slid down onto my ass, wrapping my knees and pulling them into my chest. Stuffing my head between my legs, I let out a defeated breath.

Fuck my life.