Bornandtorn - Chapter 150 Never Forge

After another of my philosophical escapades, I could not help but laugh at myself. It was not related to the fact, that I did not agree with the words I have spoken. A certain balance is needed to understand the value of something. I was just amused by my word choice and the melodramatic way of presentation I had imagined in my head at that time.

Sounding profound and intelligent did not change the content at all and stroking my ego by using flowery language is a bit sad. If there is no one but myself, who listens to these words, then there is no need for stylistic devices.

It is a simple concept, that can be summed up in a few words. For good things to exist bad things have to exist as well.

This topic has a lot of nuances and layers. For example, no one should accept bad things and declare them as a necessary evil. Embracing the misery does not ease the suffering. Only by trying to find solutions and measures to minimize their extent can life become worthwhile.

Blindly accepting everything, does not lead to a fulfilling life. Humans are not supposed to be cattle, our aspirations and dreams give our existence their worth. I am not going to pretend, that these dreams do not carry big risks with them.

The history of humans has been plagued by wars, schemes and other heinous acts. But through these acts innovation flourished and new ideas and perspectives were born. Every step forward is accompanied by blood spilt either in its name or against it.

It is only due to these ideals and ideas being challenged over and over again that humanity came to prosper. The wolf at the top of the mountain will never understand the hunger of those below him.

Quite barbaric, that such a civilized race relies on those crude methods to advance. But forgoing the roots is blasphemous and disrespectful to those who gave up their lives to create it.

Just like the nation, I was born in never chose to ignore their dark past. All of the atrocities Germany has committed are not glorified. Rather we are taught the cruel truth of all the abhorrent and sinister acts that were committed.

Instead of sweeping it under and rug and pretending that nothing happened. We serve a warning to future generations. “Never forget.” The past can not be undone, but it is our duty to prevent the past from repeating.

It is not an act of repentance, some acts can not be forgiven. A life taken can not be returned. It is to make sure, that the sins of our past remain as such. Expecting forgiveness is hypocritical, countless lives were taken and altered. No act would be big enough to appease and honour the dead.

The ones responsible for these horrendous deeds can not be punished enough for their crimes against humanity and many escaped their punishments and lived a long fulfilling life. With the ones who committed the crimes gone, whom should we punish for their acts?

Punishing the next generation, would only result in more grievances and be unjust since they had no influence on the acts of their ancestors. The only solution in this scenario is to never forgive and to forget about this perverse violence.

This kind of philosophy is something I try to use for myself. My past can not be undone and my mistakes will remain. I aspire to learn from my mistakes and come out of them as a better person.

Following this path is not easy, I see myself repeating old patterns again and again. But it is the choice I have made. Everyone has to seek out their own fortune and purpose in life. Besides, my path is never truly set.

it would be foolish not to change your course if there is a need to. Nothing is ever truly set in stone and thinking otherwise is nothing more than an excuse. Running away from one’s problems does not make them vanish in thin air. I have tried, the issues stay the same no matter how far my feet carried me.

My past always managed to catch up with me. It tightly grabs around me and refuses to let go, someday I might be able to embrace it and come to terms with it, but for now, I will have to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past.

The image of my sister appeared in my mind. I do hope she finds her way and that her hate towards me has finally vanished with my death. I really hope that she would find happiness as a relative of her. But she likes to lay waste of the innocent, which made me look down on her as a human.

I was the same as her in many ways, but I never stopped questioning myself and she has no qualms about her actions. That is the stark difference between the two of us. As for my parents, they were not worth my concern anymore. I wish them a long fulfilled life, that is all I can muster for them.

All of a sudden, I heard a sweet laugh echoing in my head.

Where the hell did that voice come from? Why did I not notice someone intruding in my mind? What the meaning behind that laugh? Forcing myself to calm down, I quickly thought about the different possibilities.

This could have been part of the series of test, but due to the lack of reaction from the other entity, I was not too sure about that theory. Did they try to test my intention by thinking they can not understand English? Well, there is an easy way to confirm this.

“Hey you bastard, I have seen through you little games. Just fuck off ”

Judging by the lack of reaction coming from the voice, there seems to be no relation between the two of them. Because these prideful people would show a reaction to these kinds of words, regardless of what kind of intention they have. Who of them could endure being insulted by a lowly insect?

As for you whoever decided to pry into my mind, I do hope you found what you were looking for. I am thankful for letting me know about your presence, but an act of kindness can quickly turn into something else.

The laugh returned once more it sounded rather sweet and did not assault my mind, which was a big plus in my eyes. Although I did not like the feeling of having a visitor in my head, I was used to the sensation by now.

Though it was a first to have a female voice inside of my mind, knowing my luck it will be another pain in the ass. Even in my fabricated memories, I was attracting those troublesome fellows left and right.

The laughter suddenly stopped and I was greeted by a strong headache. Therefore my hypothesis turned out to be true yet again. Before lamenting my appeal to this kind of entities, I decided to accept the status quo. Although I desperately thought about telling the voice to fuck off, I saved myself the trouble.

Judging by the fact, that I went unharmed after considering to curse at it, I became more certain, that they could not understand the language itself but rather judge the intent aimed towards them. Making fun of the person itself leads to a headache, make fun of it indirectly and my head remains safe.

What a dumbass. In hindsight, I should have not made that comment, as its target was not amused by the statement I made. After my head stopped feeling as if it was ripped apart, I decided to not mess with forces I do not understand for the time being.

After a little while, I heard an unsatisfied grumble in my skull and in the darkness of my eyes a scale appeared. This scale seemed ordinary and did not have anything special about it. It blended in with the darkness almost too well.

Was the appearance of this seemingly ordinary scale related to my thoughts about the coexistence of light and the darkness? Or was there another reason for its appearance? But the scale did nothing as I stared at it, it never tipped to either side.

Though I would get used to its existence sooner or later, since I did not see anything else besides the darkness it was surrounded by. I know I should be appreciative about it but I could not consider a scale I could only look at something I should be grateful about it.

A blessing of this nature did not serve any use to me who can not even use any form of magic. These things are not meant for humans to actually use them. While this might be a nice gesture, I will never be able to operate it.

The scale had reached an equilibrium and it was destined to remain in that state. It was nice to have something to look at but that was about it. My enthusiasm caused the voice inside of my head to give off a rather angry sounding comment, which I once again failed to understand.

I should correct my previous statement, it was not a command but a long rant. My mind was occupied by the sound of an angry female voice talking in a voice I did not know. Once again I came to know that the concept of time was relative, as it felt for me like it would never end.

After a while, it turned into nothing more than a background sound like the white noise of an old tv. Although the voice seemed to only get louder after being ignored i did my best to ignore the attention-seeking behaviour it showcased.

Not understanding a language was one thing, constantly being screamed at in this foreign language was an entirely different thing. At least I could understand what the voices inside of my head were telling me inside of my simulated memories.

Yet, all I could get out of this was having a voice as my company which keeps yelling at me and a useless white scale to look at. I was placing all of my hopes on tiring out this voice inside of my head by not giving her any kind of attention.

This was yet another battle of attrition, though my patience was starting to run thin, as the voice had turned into a wail that resembled the sound a siren gave off.