Break-up - Chapter 44
Many things are easy to think about, but hard to say. Because there are always expectations. Tang Yi had a long-standing relationship with Lin Rui, so long that he almost had a physical disgust with the name, and when he mentioned him, he felt irritated.
At first, he was afraid of being narrow-minded, so he chose to forbear in anger. However, he is not destined to be someone who can really endure it. The knot in his heart is getting tighter and tighter, and all kinds of grudges and grievances are buried in it, until he can’t bear it any longer, and finally it explodes.
It’s not that he didn’t discuss this issue with Gu Yanting. The first quarrel between the two was for Lin Rui. Before breaking up, Tang Yi also asked Gu Yanting’s attitude many times. The difference was that he believed in his heart at that time Gu Yanting had no cure. The night Lin Rui just came back and the night Lin Rui had an accident, Gu Yanting’s performance failed to give him the slightest hope.
Even though Gu Yanting later said that he took Lin Rui as a friend as a classmate as a benefactor, and even made less contact for Tang Yi, but Tang Yi no longer believed it. If they can put Lin Rui aside for themselves, why should they go to the situation of breaking up.
But after breaking up, it was difficult for him to really let go. He and Gu Yanting were very young when they met. In the years that followed, they lived together, renting a house, seeking a job, going to a restaurant, and then buying a house to repay the loan. With a burden on their shoulders, they had ambitions and desires in their hearts. For the first time in Tang Yi’s life, someone was with him for a long time. The two felt like living together, and the place they were in finally became a home.
He didn’t want to hate if he could.
The waiter brought the appetizers, and the beautifully packaged foie gras and scallops were placed in the center of the table. After Tang Yi said this, his expression gradually calmed down, but he still couldn’t get his appetite in the face of this expensive thing, so he leaned on the back of the sofa and turned his head to avoid Gu Yanting’s sight.
Gu Yanting was silent the whole time. He had been looking forward to this conversation for a long time. He knew that Tang Yi had a pimple in his heart, but he never knew how deep the pimple was.
Say, what do you want me to do with him, and even go into more detail, what can be done, what can’t be done, what can be said, what can’t be said, when can we meet, when can’t meet…”
“These can be determined by you, and I will abide by them.”
He underestimated how much Tang Yi cared about these things at first, but now he thinks that whether he sends Lin Rui home in front of Tang Yi or asks Lin Rui to borrow it, it is undoubtedly deepening Tang Yi was disappointed with him.
He paused and said, “He is indeed special to me. I was slightly autistic when I was in high school. When I had a car accident, I was pessimistic and miserable because of the rejection of my classmates. He saved me at that time. It is one of them, and the more important thing is that he unintentionally opened my heart…Before I met you, it was almost a habit for me to be nice to him. I didn’t think about whether it was right or not, and I didn’t think about it later. I was wrong about hurting you.”
“But, Tang Yi, if you really can’t accept it, I can change all of these. You can decide how far I can do it, and I will definitely not cross the line. But…you can’t say push away I just pushed me away and didn’t even give me a chance to make corrections.”
Gu Yanting hadn’t said such a long word for a long time, but this time, his chest finally smoothed out in one breath, and he stared at Tang Yi’s eyes with a good mistake.
Tang Yi looked at him for a while and then slowly turned his eyes away. He understood what Gu Yanting meant, and it even sounded reasonable, but now his heart is very confused. Gu Yanting was impulsive when he came out. He was choked up by Shen Fan’s evaluation of “no mercy, no mercy”. He was eager to get rid of all those who were related to Lin Rui, and Gu Yanting was the first to bear the brunt.
But he was not prepared for such a conversation, and now he regrets it.
Tang Yi unconsciously stirred the soup in front of him, he didn’t know how to answer, he shook his head for a while, “It’s unnecessary.”
Gu Yanting: “…why is it not necessary?”
“The days ahead are too long, and no one can guarantee anything. If you don’t see me, it doesn’t mean you don’t want to see me. Now you are making compromises for me, and maybe one day you will regret it and go to him.”
“…But I have never had anything with him.” Gu Yanting took a deep breath and was speechless, “My mistake was not grasping the scale, I was good to him, but this is not Error of principle!”
At the end of his words, his emotions were slightly agitated, and his voice became louder by two points.
There were other diners next to them who turned their heads slightly, Tang Yi frowned, and lowered his voice to remind him, “Keep your voice down.”
This is one of the most high-end western restaurants in T city, Tang Yi faintly regretted setting the meeting place here. After all, most of the people who come to eat are talking in low voices and pay great attention to etiquette. Gu Yanting’s voice just fell, and at least four or five people from the table have calmly looked over.
Gu Yanting glanced at him and suddenly sneered, “…No.”
Tang Yi: “…”
“If you want to talk today, we will make it clear. If it is not convenient to talk here, we will change places. Two years ago, you gave me a pat on the **** and left. I’m so aggrieved, Tang Yi, the death row prisoner still has the right to speak in defense, just for the sake of you who just kicked me out of the house today with a cold and fever, you can’t be so cruel to let me suffocate here.”
Tang Yi can’t, even if it’s not for him, he’ll be thinking about the waiter who is obviously embarrassed and worried not far away.
Gu Yanting saw that his expression was a little loose, and quickly invited the waiter to settle the bill first. When signing the bill, he glanced at Tang Yi, who was obviously absent and rubbing his eyebrows, and paused and said, “This is There is a plaza not far ahead, so let’s go there.”
The city of T at the end of November already smelled of ice balls. Tang Yi went to the restaurant directly from the company, wearing only a suit. Gu Yanting pulled him when he went out, took off his jacket and put it on him.
When Tang Yi reacted, Gu Yanting had already strode forward, his shadow was stretched out by the street lights, Tang Yi wiped his face irritably, and simply stepped on his feet on the drawn slender head. Then he picked up the pace.
The small square is not far from here. It is said that the square is actually a small open park, with an open space in front and a small hill behind. When the weather is warm, nearby citizens will dance here, and the best thing to see is a male teacher teaching tango. It’s just that it’s so cold right now, and there’s not a single person in the square. After Gu Yanting arrived at the place, he kept walking, and he walked to the top of the **** three or two before stopping and turning to look at him.
Tang Yi hesitated and followed.
Tang Yi was about to take off his coat, but Gu Yanting grabbed his hand just as he raised his hand.
Gu Yanting’s eyes were surprisingly bright, Tang Yi looked up at him, and heard him laugh coldly, “Tang Yi, I didn’t finish talking in the restaurant just now, in fact, when it comes to reconciliation, it should be It’s me who has a lump in my heart, right?”
Tang Yi paused for a moment, then looked up at him sharply, “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? Don’t you know?”
Gu Yanting let go of his hand, his attitude was almost different from the gentle appearance in the restaurant, he lowered his head and stared at Tang Yi’s eyes, and after a while his eyes fell, touched the latter’s lips, and at the same time he raised his hand to cover it with his thumb, rubbed it, and asked with a sneer, “Here… has he touched it?”
Tang Yi was stunned for a moment and suddenly reacted, a feeling of anger and anger made his face hot, he didn’t think Gu Yanting deliberately called him out of the restaurant to say this, he suddenly He threw off his clothes, and when he pushed Gu Yanting away, the coat also fell on the ground.
“You said you mind Lin Rui, but you never thought about whether I would mind you kissing me and hugging me in the past two years?!” Gu Yanting’s voice was a bit gritted, his eyes from start to finish They all stared at Tang Yi tightly, “Did you know that I almost died when you were having a spring dinner with other men! Christmas Eve is very lively, right? Huh? Do the new underwear fit? You can’t eat Christmas Eve. Apple is safe?”
The evil fire in Tang Yi’s heart slowly turned to doubts after hearing this, and he didn’t react until the “underpants” later.
In the darkness, only the light from the small square passed through weakly, which vaguely outlined Gu Yanting’s tense cheeks. what.
Tang Yi was silent for a while, then suddenly asked, “Did you make that call?”
Gu Yanting’s eyes flashed, in fact, it goes without saying that the two of them already knew it. Tang Yi didn’t understand what he meant by “nearly hit to death”. He wanted to ask a question at this moment, but then he felt that it was a lot of things – the two people who had already broken up wanted to break up further, and talk about those What’s the point of something.
He sighed, and finally nodded slowly, “If that’s the case, shouldn’t it be better to stay away. You see, I’m sympathetic to your past, and you’re sympathetic to mine. , no need to talk about it.”
Gu Yanting snorted heavily from his nose, “You don’t have to rush to clear the relationship, Tang Yi, I do mind, but I can bear it, because I can’t let you go, I’m right Your feelings are much heavier than these junk! I want to spend time with you so this can be resolved!”
“You said you were afraid that my old relationship would be unforgettable, so I won’t be afraid? At most, I’ve been rude to Lin Rui for the New Year, but you have been swaying from spirit to body!”
Tang Yi’s mind exploded with a bang, he stared fiercely at the past, opened his mouth to say something, but was robbed by Gu Yanting.
Gu Yanting’s chest heaved violently, and his voice became hoarse, with a chill, “If you like others, just say it straight, don’t play like this, the double standard is too serious?! Why do I have to recognize when a big hat is put on my head? It’s been two years since I can’t take it off? I’m so **** soft, if you don’t feel anything about me at all, just say it , don’t use Lin Rui as an excuse! Unless you are in love with someone else, just kick me away in a hurry!”
“You!” Tang Yi’s face turned pale, and he was so angry that he didn’t know what to say for a long time. He couldn’t help but punch him, but Gu Yanting grabbed his wrist.
When he gets along with Gu Yanting, he has always been the dominant one. Gu Yanting used to be stupid and never talked about him. ”, but he didn’t expect to say anything, the latter would be so arrogant that he would be mad at him.
“I want to shut up, but I have to let you know that you have had a boyfriend in the past two years, but I’ve had a hard time living more than a monk, every day and every night. I’m thinking about you, I almost go crazy when I think that you might be touched by another man, and it’s all about you in my sleep and dreams at night, I have to hug your shirt even if I slap it, or I won’t be able to get up…”
Gu Yanting saw Tang Yiqi’s body shaking, his lips moved and his breath eased.
After a while, he released his hand to hold Tang Yi’s arm, and gently stretched his hand up and down on Tang Yi’s back. He lowered his voice, his tone was not as aggressive as before, but with a bit of coaxing meaning, “I know that you are angry with me, it was all my fault before, and you have punished it. The days are still long, let him pass the past, can’t we start over?”
When he reached the last sentence, he bent down slightly and hummed softly against Tang Yi’s ear. Tang Yi finally eased his breath in his arms, and closed his eyes silently until the breath slowly calmed down.
Gu Yanting didn’t dare to get too close, he stroked Tang Yi’s back rhythmically with his palm, and when Tang Yi slowly opened his eyes and his beautiful eyes met his gaze, he I was looking forward to it a little.
Tang Yi looked at him for a long time, and finally said slowly, “What a great trick, congratulations to Mr. Gu, I won’t be able to get along in Huayuan in the future, just this ability, I can put it in the entertainment circle. If you take a golden rooster and golden monkey, you will definitely not starve to death.”
His voice was very soft, and his eyes were bright and radiant after he calmed down, his eyes sparkling like jumping fire clusters.
If under normal conditions, Tang Yi was determined and he wouldn’t listen to what others said, but he was a little dazed today, Gu Yanting didn’t know how he saw the clue in the restaurant, and he was simply angry and resentful fought back. First, he said that the Christmas incident caused Tang Yi’s guilt, and then borrowed Zhou Hao to explain his grievances and sadness.
Gu Yanting’s figure froze for a moment, but he remained in an embracing posture and did not move. The two looked at each other and refused to speak first. After a long while, Gu Yanting sighed, and slowly lowered his head and buried his face in Tang Yi’s neck.
He whispered, “Tang Yi, how do you know I’m not sad, not sad…”
This sentence is much lighter than the previous long speech, more like a helpless sigh, but the meaning of sadness is very strong. Tang Yi hesitated for a while, but did not move.
Gu Yanting slowly tightened his arms and exhaled softly, “When we were together, I would say goodbye at every turn, but it was because I knew that you would not agree. Every time you When I refused, I was very happy. It felt like there was something you were afraid of losing. You were always afraid that it wasn’t sticky enough or that the bolt wasn’t tight enough, so you couldn’t help but tug and push it. A push. When you can’t push it away, you will feel at ease.”
“But in fact, I was also afraid in my heart, afraid that if you returned me a good word…until you mentioned it first.”
Those trivial things take four or five years to count. When Gu Yanting has conflicts, he often says break up, but Tang Yi thinks that Gu doesn’t pay enough attention to this relationship. He blames himself who loves first loses, At the beginning, every time I dismissed coldly, in fact, in addition to being stubborn, my heart was full of disappointment.
Gu Yanting gave a wry smile, raised his head slowly, and said softly, “Breaking up is courageous, not heartless. I understand it too late, so I can only put my heart here, you call me a hooligan. No matter what a rogue, I haven’t promised half a word since the first time you mentioned breaking up. I didn’t agree with you before, and now I don’t agree. I’ll spend my life with you and die. agree!”
Tang Yi’s eyes drooped slightly, and his long eyelashes trembled slightly. He never thought that one day he and Gu Yanting would change their positions. Gu Yanting’s confession was once something he longed for. He had believed that Gu Yanting preferred Lin Rui, and his relationship with him was nothing more than a back-and-forth and passive acceptance.
It landed on Tang Yi’s chin, on his lips, on his face, and on the tip of his nose.
In the end, when Tang Yi trembled and closed his eyes, Gu Yanting carefully kissed his eyes, and finally fell on the eyebrows, and whispered, “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.”
When Tang Yi first started doing business, in order to quickly master negotiation skills, he read a lot of psychological theories. Stinger’s Law impressed him – 10% of your life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
For example, what Gu Yanting did to Lin Rui, if Tang Yi handled it in another way, it would probably have a better result. Even if he broke out directly when he was angry for the first time, either Gu Yanting realized his problem earlier, or the two broke up early.
, it’s better to break apart.
The matter of Lin Rui is a fuse, but the fundamental crux lies in their mutual trust and communication.
Tang Yi never thought about how he could completely unravel the knot in the future and accept Gu Yanting. But I have to say that tonight Gu Yanting’s words, word by word, just fell on his heart. He had longed for this scene, but his inner weakness defeated himself first, so that he did not dare to have any expectations for the future.
Gu Yanting kissed him gently one by one, and said sorry in a low and slow manner. When Tang Yi calmed down and stretched out his hand to cover his face, Gu Yanting’s eyes were dark and his mouth was gently kissed in his palm After a moment, he said, “Now it’s my turn to chase you. You don’t have to rush to agree, and you don’t have to care about other things. Let’s take your time, okay?”
Although he asked if he was okay, his tone was very determined.
Tang Yi was silent for a while, then asked after a while, “How is your current job?”
Gu Yanting might as well ask this suddenly and nodded, “Very good.”
“Do you like it? Is there a future?”
“I like it very much, the future… is also good.”
Tang Yi hummed, and finally asked, “If I don’t want you to do it, what should you do?” It came from his mouth, and it may not be meaningful to get an answer at this time.
Gu Yanting smiled, but answered quickly, “Between you and work, I choose you.”
Tang Yi was slightly startled, saw Gu Yanting looking at him seriously, and said, “Don’t underestimate your position in my heart. I know it’s useless to say this now, but I still want you to know If you don’t believe me, you can wait for me to do it slowly for you to see.”
On the way back, the coat was still draped over Tang Yi’s body, Gu Yanting’s face was abnormally red, but the corners of his mouth almost reached his ears.
Tang Yi did not agree to him, but being able to acquiesce to his side was already another form of concession. The two of them sat in the taxi without speaking. Gu Yanting stretched out a hand to hold Tang Yi’s shortly after he sat down. Tang Yi was caught by him shortly after dodging, and finally intertwined his fingers with him helplessly. all the way.
After returning home, Gu Yanting automatically became a dog nanny. Tang Yi always felt that the dog sent by Shen Fan was far more trouble than comfort to him, and not long after he received the little guy, the company It just happened, and it hasn’t been resolved until now, and the dog is probably not immune to separation anxiety. What happened tonight was completely beyond his expectations, and he was a little embarrassed when he got home. So watching the patient work he didn’t even realize what was wrong.
He wasn’t ready to start again, and obviously Gu Yanting couldn’t wait. The latter’s attack was too fierce, and he was caught off guard by the trend of destroying the dead. Tang Yi faintly felt that he didn’t have any. After fully reacting, Gu Yanting was even a little stunned when Gu Yanting gave Fanfan chews and toys, and hummed a song to clean up the dog feces and dog urine in the toilet. In the end, I could only silently pull out the antipyretic medicine and put it on the coffee table.
Gu Yanting took the initiative to come over when he was taking medicine, Tang Yi was reading on the sofa, the page stayed for a long time without turning over, Gu Yanting drank the pills and moved closer to him, suddenly asked , “Are you unhappy today?”
“…”
“I mean before you asked me out,” Gu Yanting lowered his head slightly and leaned closer, but his voice was still a little hoarse, “Did something happen? Or did someone say something to you? ?”
He saw Tang Yi turned his head and said comfortably, “There is no flaming mountain that cannot be crossed, it is good to seek solutions when encountering problems. Straight?”
When Tang Yi heard it in the past, he was mostly helpless, but today he inexplicably feels that there is some truth to it.
He was silent for a while, put down the book in his hand, leaned on the sofa and asked Gu Yanting, “What if it doesn’t last?”
“What happened? At work?”
“…Yes,” Tang Yi paused, “there is something wrong with the contract you signed with our company.”