Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 40 Chapter 39.

“So husband, where are you going to take your beautiful wife on our date today?”

I have to admit, that’s a good question. What can possibly entertain a goddess who was two billion years old? Could this be what they call a generation gap? In my younger days it would be a p*kemon date or something where we play our g*meboys all day long.

What am I thinking, am I five years old? How could I possibly think of entertaining my wife on our first date with something like that? Don’t worry, this is not some kind of sick and twisted foreshadowing. I’m not that stupid.

Now that I think about it, any quality date requires money. After losing my body I naturally also lost my wallet. I guess our first stop should actually be the bank to get a new card and withdraw some cash.

“Little wife, any date in this world will need money. The first stop on our date will definitely need to be the bank.”

“Who cares about money? We can just sneak in anywhere or take anything we want, can’t we? It’s not like anyone can detect your wife if she does not want them to find her.”

“Little wife there’s this scary thing called the law and police who will make people’s lives miserable if you do such things. If you do things like that, other people are going to need to suffer for it. Your actions of taking what you want could put people out of business. People may also lose their job if things just inexplicably disappear for no reason and they may even be mistaken as the culprit.”

“Aren’t mortals just a pain in the ass with all those make believe laws? Well, I understand husband, let’s get going to the bank. Lead the way.”

“Aren’t you going to teleport us there?”

“It wouldn’t be a date if we didn’t take our time to smell the roses on the side of the road, would it?”

“I guess so.”

Maybe if we had teleported then we could have avoided a lot of trouble. I’m sure the future me would have really wished I was more insistent at this time.

We walked about at a leisurely pace for an hour while holding hands while I kept the conversation rolling.

During this time I came to really admire how delicate and lovable my wife’s hands were. They were so soft I never wanted to them go, so I made sure to walk as slowly as possible while showing her around where I grew up in great detail.

From the local jungle gym where I was crowned the “jii god” in my childhood to the school where I became known as the “god of posing” during a neighbourhood play when I was still a kid. I bet she really thought I was joking when I said I held those titles back then.

We even passed by my university where I spent five years wasting my time studying electrical engineering. I was really perplexed when I saw my wife’s doubtful expression when she continuously looked back between me and the university like she thought I was messing with her.

My wife, I’m not an idiot you know! I studied hard back then, it’s just that when I finished I was burnt out and didn’t want to find a job in my field. Also, rather than getting depressed from applying and never getting a single response from employers, I’d much rather find an easy job where I could slack off and do things at my own pace. It’s not that I was too lazy to send in my resume and write out cover letters, I swear, it’s not!

Okay, it really was. Who am I trying to fool? I’m just a lazy bum who finds breathing to be tiring. I just decided to forget about working under such a high pressure job as an electrical engineer with constant deadlines and the weight of knowing that a bit of carelessness on my part could result in the death of many.

Really though, they tried to brainwash us and make us think safety of the public was our number one priority. They clearly just wanted to stop the crazy quack inventors from being born and bringing about mayhem to the public. Can you imagine what would happen if we started making EMP generators and destroyed electronic equipment everywhere in our free time for fun?

Do I regret learning electrical engineering though? Definitely not! It was super interesting, but the competition was rough. I was the type to never study but I still managed pretty good grades. I could manage an A or A+, usually without much effort on my part while sometimes going down to a B+. Just attend the lectures and figure out what the professor emphasized. That’s typically what would always show up on the exam.

Classes that required groups was definitely my biggest weakness though. My group members were always completely useless and couldn’t think for themselves. None of them ever wanted to take the lead or do anything and even I’m just a follower type rather than a leader. I prefer to stay in the shadows and do things in the background. Standing out was just a giant pain for me; from this you could clearly see, I was completely unsuitable to work as part of a team.

It was truly another big failure on my part when I finally realized the importance of working in teams as an electrical engineer. A team without a good leader, nothing good would ever come out of it.

Sure, I could accomplish everything on my own without help from my group members, but the end result would be subpar or lacking. If I had group members who would actually think for themselves and do their parts rather than me taking over their job and doing it all for them, I’m sure we would have had much better results.

When it came to doing public presentations, they were naturally completely useless as well. After being forced to do all prototyping myself for projects, those group members had no idea about how anything worked in the project. Let’s forget about them being able to figure out how to put together a presentation on it.

That was usually when I would completely give up and just half ass everything. At that point I couldn’t care less if the markers gave me a zero or called the presentation or project complete and utter rubbish.

Hah, university really was the worst experience of my life now that I think about it. Especially the years that had group projects like that. If I censored out the group projects, university really wasn’t so bad though.

It seems my wife noticed my fluctuating emotions after we passed by my old university. “Husband, judging by your expression constantly changing, you probably don’t have fond memories of that university. Do you want me to destroy it for you?”

“Little wife, please don’t joke around. Don’t go casually destroying property carelessly like that! That would affect countless lives and dreams.”

“Tch, don’t do this, don’t do that. You’re worse than my mother at times.”

I really felt like I was flunking on our first date. It’s only been an hour and I’ve failed this badly. No more reminiscing about the past, time to make this a proper successful date! Operation super fun first date my wife will never forget, start!

I firmly proclaimed that in my heart like I was making a grand declaration with unwavering determination as I said, “hello, I’ve lost my bank card.”

Yes, we had reached our destination, National Bank and the bank teller was…

“One moment please.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, and she was like oh em gee when I told her I was sleeping with her boyfriend.”

Yes all that build up just for me to talk to a bank teller and for her to treat me like I was air while she was talking to her girlfriend on the phone. Damn it, put me through to your supervisor! I want a refund for all my effort I put into declaring my grand operation!

You may wonder where the effort was. Well, that name took me a whole five seconds to come up with! Give me back my five seconds of unwavering determination!

“Yeah, and you know what she said to me after that? Like totally, you will never guess.”

“Excuse me?”

“Like, shut up! Are you stupid? Why would she say ‘excuse me?’ You’re like, such an idiot. Like oh ma gad rayleh?”

Who talks like that?! Did you just roll your eyes at me? Did you?! Are you kidding me?!

“Oh, sorry my girl, not you! Just some stupid loser who lost his bank card being a busybody and not knowing when to mind his own business. Like really, why would she say excuse me? He’s such a tool.”

Do I look mentally challenged to you? You can say “really,” normally to your girlfriend, but not me?

Ohhohoh, I am totally going to get you fired! If I don’t, may the heavens smite your phone down now!

“You would never believe it, she was like, ‘how big was he?’”

Crash!

The heavens really do have eyes. You thought I’d say that I bet, but I’m a matured man who has seen the world. It was clearly my little brother heavens up above finally getting his act together and doing the work he was supposed to be doing.

“Kyaa! Oh my god! My phone!”

“Ehem. Excuse me.”

“What the hell do you want? Can’t you see my phone just got struck by thunder?!”

“Uhmm… I think it was actually struck by lightning not thunder. Anyways, I’ve lost my bank card. I need a replacement.”

“Get lost you loser!”

Are you sure about that?

“If I don’t get my bank card now, let the heavens smite your phone down again!”

Crash.

Holy crap, isn’t this super convenient? I might get addicted to this.

“Yes sir! Right away.”

Oh? What’s this? Are you scared now?

“No, bring me your superior.”

“Yes sir!”

Cower in fear, crappy customer service! Kneel before my feet!

After a few minutes a smug handsome dude in a fancy suit came out. It looked like that girl calmed down as she was swooning over the man in the suit. She wrapped her hands around his arms and pressed her chest tightly against him while they were flirting back and forth in their own little world.

After keeping me waiting for another five minutes, acting like I was air, he came over arrogantly and said “sir, we will need some form of ID to issue a new card.”

Ah. I forgot about that.

“What if I said I didn’t have it on me?”

“The door’s over there.”

Are you fudging kidding me?! You arrogant middle class wanker?! Did you train this girl? Actually, better yet, who are you really? A playboy or a supervisor?

I looked to the right and saw another teller looking at the man with some sort of hidden regret in her eyes. If it wasn’t for the illusory money symbols within her eyes I might have thought she really had feelings for him.

Is there some kind of story here?

I was really curious, so much so that I decided I really needed to ask him at all costs.

I closed the distance between us and whispered to him, “umm, excuse me, by any chance… is that teller on the right your girlfriend?”

It looks like he was slightly surprised that I knew and he nodded his head covertly while peaking at her.

“Then what is your relationship with this teller? Did you bone her?”

He was even more surprised at this guess compared to my previous one.

Dude, I’m more surprised than you!

“Does the teller on the right know you’re two timing?”

He trembled. This guy’s a tool. He doesn’t know a thing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to issue that card?”

“Hahaha, what are you talking about sir, I was just joking earlier. We’re best buddies who’ve known each other from the womb after all. Why would I need ID from you?”

This fool who thinks he’s a player when in reality he’s being used for his money. The teller on the right clearly isn’t putting out and is just milking you for all the money she can get. Thus explaining why she doesn’t know how big you are. The other teller who is actually putting out… is definitely also in it for the money.

When I saw this, I couldn’t help but think about how blessed I was to have my wife who married a broke bloke like me.

“Husband, aren’t you a bit mean? Shouldn’t you maybe tell him?”

“It’s fine, there are people like him everywhere. They get a little successful and then it goes to their head. It’s a good life lesson for people like him.”

“Here you go sir.”

When I finally collected my card from the money bag, I mean the man, I was struck by sudden realization. Aren’t I going to easy on this guy? A wide grin floated across my face as this fat sheep looked like the most beautiful being in the world. Of course, you can’t compare to my wife, but still.

“Hey, my buddy, I suddenly realized I am a bit short on cash. I really need to make a withdrawal.”

“Of course sir, how much were you looking to withdraw?”

“One hundred thousand.”

He then quickly checked my balance and handed over ten bills with ten thousand written on them.

“Strange, are you sure this is one hundred thousand? I think it’s missing ninety more bills.”

“Sir?”

I looked towards his girlfriend on the right then looked back at him with a wide smile on my face.

It looks like he caught on when his face paled from the sudden realization.

He whispered with trembling eyes, “are you blackmailing me, my good buddy?”

“What are you talking about? It’s just giving me how much money I requested to withdraw, that’s all.”

He stuck up his trembling hand and pointed at me while he stuttered, “y-y-y-y-you crook!”

“My buddy, what are you talking about? I just wanted to withdraw some money. How dare you call me a crook? I really wonder what your girlfriend would think of you if she knew you were falsely accusing others like this.”

I looked over to the teller on the right again and was about to open my mouth when he quickly grasped my hand and pitifully said, “please don’t, she is the love of my life. I know I let things get to my head and I was two timing, but give me a break. I’ll give you the money, so please just leave.”

He shoved ninety bills into my hand and started pushing me towards the exit. My wife was about to follow from behind to take our leave, but that was when things started to take an interesting turn.

Five bulky men showed up at the entrance to the bank as we were just about to leave. Crap, is it security? Doesn’t look like it. Those ski masks over their faces seem to suggest otherwise.

They were giving off an intimidating aura and when I checked their cultivation I was shocked to find that three of them were 9th realm semi transcendents and two of them were 10th realm semi transcendents.

What the? Are these guys planning to rob a bank with this much force? Aren’t cultivators supposed to be distanced from the mortal realm? Well, cultivation isn’t going to fill your belly I guess.

It was then everything kicked into action and the cultivators quickly rushed towards the crowd and forced everyone back into a corner. My wife and I played along, we were interested in watching the show that was about to play out.

“Security! Security! Where are you guys? Why are you so useless when you finally have a job to do?!”

Uhm, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I think they’re dead or knocked out already.

“Everybody, this is a hold up!”

No shit? I would never have guessed with those ski masks on your faces.

“Get down on the ground or die! You people behind the counter fill up these bags now or I keel you!”

Was that supposed to be a terrorist joke? Are you trying to pin this robbery on a certain group?

“Aren’t you people too cocky? You don’t even have guns!”

Some bulkier looking people stood out from the crowd in defiance. They were clearly those who didn’t understand the strength of the men before them from when they were pushed back into a corner earlier.

It was then an overwhelming pressure slammed them down and crushed them into the ground. They could only look towards the masked men with boundless fear in their eyes as they decided to firmly shut their traps and play possum.

One guy even pissed himself as a defense mechanism to try and ward them off with the scent. At least that’s what I understood from his action when I looked him in the eye. I could see some sort of cockiness and certainty that he strongly believed they would ignore him if he peed his pants. Surprisingly enough… it worked. They acted like he was air and returned to merrily conducting their robbery.

Naturally my wife and I were left unnoticed thanks to her abilities.

“Husband, shouldn’t we interfere? Didn’t you say it is bad to take whatever we want?”

“It’s fine as long as we follow the rules. Does it matter what other people do? We’re no heroes of justice after all. We’re just a married couple about to go on a date on our honeymoon. Besides, I’m really curious to see who would win in a fight. The cops with guns or unarmed cultivators. I feel like cultivators should naturally win, right? Just like in all those novels where cultivators stop bullets with a single finger. Don’t you want to see such an amazing scene?”

It was only after I said that, that I noticed the wounded blood stained finger of one of the 10th realm semi transcendent cultivators. Strange, how did he get injured like that? I looked at my wife to see a mysterious smile on her face. It couldn’t be, right?