Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 46 Chapter 45.

When we were finished with our little moment of shenanigans while we floated in the sky, we finally descended to the ground. There was a large crowd of staff who surrounded the landing zone who all sported perplexed looks like they had just seen something unbelievable.

Uh… did they happen to witness the two of us monkeying around up there? I could only look over to my wife for an answer.

She simply said, “well, I kept it suspended in air that whole time so we could enjoy ourselves a bit.”

So it was your handiwork after all.

Someone who looked similar to a boss like figure came over to me and said, “sir, you were quite lucky you got to experience a rare occurrence with you wife. This area is the landing zone for when it occurs. It usually only happens when there is a lot of wind blowing. It was designed that way, hence the reason for the built in parachute.

Don’t try acting like this was a hidden event that can occur for lucky couples! I’ll have you know I almost died!

“Anyways sir, would you like to keep the video recording of your ride?”

Eh? There’s a video recording?

“Uhmm how much does that recoding go up to?”

“Huhuhu sir, don’t worry anything after the bars being raised does not get recorded.”

Don’t look at me with that knowing look!

“Sir, I’ll have you know this ride is known for giving couples still dating and stuck before that last hurdle the push needed to get them to marry each other.”

“We call it the suspension bridge roller coaster. It’s quite famous now these days.”

You’ve got to be kidding me, there’s no way such a convenient lie could be true.

I pulled out my phone and quickly searched the net and after keying in, “the suspension bridge roller coaster.” To my dismay millions of results populated right away and there were even tonnes of reviews and testimonials. There was a 99.9% approval rating from the government after a study was done finding that the number of couples getting married after riding it would have children. By the way, that 99.9% rating was just for show because they were not allowed to put 100%.

Studies said that in present times, due to the lack of threat to our lives, the birth rate was declining which threatened our future population. When couples experienced the thrill from the ride where they feared for their lives for the first time, the stimulus, or in other words the suspension bridge effect was triggered. Couples that faced this dangerous situation had their desires triggered to pass on their genes to the future generation in the event they really were to die.

When I read up to hear I was so frustrated I wanted to shoot the guy who created the stupid thing.

“By the way I’m the one who created the design for this roller coaster. Do you want to punch me? I get that a lot you know. I even sued a few people who did. I have the backing of the government, what are you going to do about it?”

Are you taunting me? Are you really?

“Oh, your wife looks pretty sensible, she’s already finished downloading the video footage of your stupid face screaming like a little girl.”

Yes. When I looked over at my wife, while I was distracted with searching for information on this death trap of a roller coaster, she was busy laughing while she continuously replayed the video that showed all my embarrassing moments on that ride.

When I looked back at the creator of the ride he had a smug, satisfied, and complacent look on his face as he knew I was completely helpless and defeated.

I’ll definitely pay this guy back in the future. I promise you, I will!

When he saw I had nothing else to say, the man turned his back and walked away with his chin stuck up while he trotted off like a proud peacock satisfied after a long hard day of work.

I heard him question things under his breath when he left, “why did that thing stay floating in the air like that for so long. Well, I’ll forget about that for now, the real mystery is how such a toad can get a swan like her. Is she blind? But she could watch the video footage. Maybe she just has a fetish for poor ugly guys? If that’s the case, where can I find such a hottie?”

It took a while to calm my raging emotions and my upset stomach after both the ride and from the infuriating words I heard the from the creator of this crappy ride. When I finally recovered, I grabbed my wife’s hand and forcefully pulled her along, away from this unreasonably crappy and terrifying attraction.

“Husband, don’t you want to watch the video?”

“Never.”

“What? Why not? You looked really cute. Pfft. Those rippling cheeks and wide open mouth of yours are to die for. Pftthahaha.”

I’m exhausted. I just want a break now. I ignored my wife who had a blast while she made fun of me and I planned our next course of action. Should we get something to eat? I’ve heard there are some good places to get food around here.

We only went on one ride and I already wanted to leave. What a crappy amusement park. What five star reviews? I steeled my resolve to write a one star review with one hand while I pulled my wife along with the other.

I wrote, “Crappiest amusement park ever, staff was rude, they made fun of customers. Rides were dangerous and poorly designed. Don’t recommend, ever! Don’t come to this shitty place! Don’t listen to all those other five star reviews, they were just written by the staff that work here so they would get paid and keep their jobs. The ones written by non staff were merely paid to write good reviews.”

After I was satisfied with my rant and proofread it for errors… who am I kidding, proofread a review? That’s for amateurs. Anyway, I submitted it and received a message which stated the review would be looked over by designated staff and posted within seventy two hours once approved.

I finally felt I had managed to vent a bit and just as I was about to put my phone away a notification popped up that said, “We have looked over your review and deemed it to be defamatory, derogatory and biased. It has been deleted and your account has been blocked for 30 days.”

Are you fudging kidding me?! Did this site also get paid off and bribed? What the hell happened to the right to free speech? Did some terrorists find free speech, create weapons of mass destruction and bomb it to death? I’ll remember this you, you damn review site!

It felt like this review site was provoking the keyboard warrior that laid dormant deep within the depths of my soul, but fortunately for it, I was too busy with my date.

Forget it, I’ll deal with you later.

Restaurants, restaurants, I need a good restaurant. I’m definitely not trusting those five stars anymore. This time let’s go with a one star. This review site is definitely out to eliminate the true hidden gems.

Let’s see, “D.A.D.” short for… “DorA Dining?”

That sounded promising, it’s got a nice ring to it, it had to be a nice peaceful family restaurant. I quickly got directions and pulled my wife along excitedly towards the location.

When we got there, when the barker saw my wife and I, he plastered an ingratiating smile on his face while he handed the menu over to us. I should have noticed the suspiciousness of it all the moment I stepped foot in the place. I really should have noticed that something was really off, but unfortunately I was still on a high from holding onto my wife’s hand.

Everyone inside were clearly foreigners. Well, I guess this place just caters more towards people overseas, that’s nothing to out of place I guess.

When my wife and I took our seat, a loud fart like sound rang out as air was pressed out from the cushions.

What the hell? Please get some better cushions! Are you trying to embarrass your customers to death.

But that was only the beginning. When I brought the menu up the outside said “D.A.D.” on it like expected; however, inside when you flipped it open there was a different name. It still had “Dora” at the start but the letter a in it wasn’t capitalized in it and it was a bit longer too. In fact there was a “con” written in after the “Dora”. In between the first word and the “Dining” at the end was the word “Asian”.

When I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together I started to have a headache.

When I think of “Dora” I think of the circle tiles in Mahjong. When you say “con” I think of a scammer. Damn it! If I put the two together isn’t it just a scammers circle asian restaurant?! I could even imagine a robotic cat mascot character saying “doracon” while tilting their head cutely and winking at me. Did you guys think you were funny when you came up with this stupid name?!

When I looked at the prices on the menus they were fairly cheap though. Maybe I was overthinking things a bit. I decided to give the place a shot since we were here anyways.

I looked over to my wife and saw her not even bothering to take a glance through the menu. She was instead just staring at my face while smiling looking like she couldn’t get enough of my constantly changing expressions.

Being the man I determined I needed to step up and decide what we would eat.

When I looked through the menu I saw chicken fingers and fries on the menu and it was like I knew it was meant to be. It had 1000 written beside it, so I naturally chose it as my go to choice. For some reason it had the highest price, but seeing as I had a million on hand I was willing to splurge a bit.

Having decided on what to eat, I waved my hand confidently towards the waiter to come over and service us.

I said, I waved at the waiter to come over and service us.

Oi. Are you ignoring me? Hey don’t turn the other way when you see me waving at you. Son of a…

In my rage I stood up and walked over to him and said, “I’ve decided what to order would you come over to take my order please.”

“Yes valued customer, I’ll be right over. I’m a bit busy, it will just be a moment.”

He said that in a monotone voice like he couldn’t care less that I was there.

I calmed myself down, I naturally didn’t want to make a scene and I walked back over to my seat to sit down. This time I took extra caution to slowly sit down.

Unfortunately for me it just made things worse. This time it was a quieter but long and drawn out squeak sound that rung out.

I could only bend my head over in shame and cover my face with my hands trying not laugh. What is wrong with this stupid restaurant. Give me a break please.

My wife was looking at me also trying to fight the urge to laugh. I could see the tears forming at the edge of her eyes as she was trying to keep a straight face.

“My wife, it’s not funny.”

“What is? You trying to smoothly slowly sit down and a loud one, but instead ending up with a quiet long drawn out one. Husband, if you need to go, you need to go. Don’t worry, your wife understands. If the wild is calling, just let it be. No need to feel ashamed.”

After a moment of silence my wife finally managed to suppress the desire to laugh.

I didn’t even want to retort. There is a limit to how thick skinned one man can be.

The stares from the crowd filled with understanding and sympathy hurt even more than my wife who tried to console me.

Damn it! Did all of you experience the same thing too?! Isn’t this restaurant too evil?