Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 47 Chapter 46.

After waiting like this for twenty minutes for the waiter he still didn’t show up. He was still sitting behind that counter not bothering at all with my table at all. Occasionally he would get up and serve some of the other tables of the guests that looked like they were at the limits of their patience and were about to leave.

He was actually quite skilled at determining the breaking point as he would hurry over right before reaching that level and say, “my apologies for the wait, as you can see we are rather busy right now. It is difficult being such a popular restaurant after all. Please accept my sincere regrets at our incompetence.”

It was like I was listening to the perfect recording. The intonation, the emotion, the regret and passion to strive for perfection, I could hear it all. It was like he was a completely different person from who I spoke to earlier. Damn, I don’t like you, but your posing isn’t bad kid.

It was so good I started to doubt myself. Maybe he was just having a bad day and was depressed. Maybe he just got dumped by his girlfriend when I was talking to him earlier. He was looking down at his phone at that time. I didn’t take a look but surely that must have been the case.

I decided to forgive the lad and walked back over to the desk he was sitting behind.

I asked, “excuse me, I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes now, I’d really like to at least place my order. Would you be kind enough to just take it here?”

“Sorry valued customer, we are very busy as you can see. It may take a tiny bit more time for us to attend to you. We do apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your patronage.”

Again it was like a monotone recording. What is with the difference in treatment? I decided to look over the desk to see what he was doing on his phone. When I saw what he was doing I almost punched a hole through the counter in rage.

FarmVille? FarmVille? Are you kidding me?! This is the reason behind the crappy service here?! When I heard his following words I almost wanted to scream.

“Who the hell is this damned hacker? How does he keep stealing all my crops and pigs?! I’m definitely going to report this guy! Sen Kami? Do you think you’re a war god or something? Tch. Lame.”

I was shocked to hear the name I hadn’t heard in a while. It almost felt like father in law was the one trying to sabotage my date with his daughter. I’ll remember this father in law!

One more person was added to my list of people to get even with today. If things kept going at this pace, my list would end up longer than a certain fatty who dresses in red and white.

I’ll be stuck checking my list twice for days on end at this rate.

Anyways, I was fed up and just as I was about to take my wife and leave a gust of wind passed by behind me. When I finished turning around I saw the waiter at my table standing their prim and proper attending to my wife.

Graahhh! This is ridiculous!

I reluctantly returned to the table where he put on his best act in front of my wife. They chatted and laughed like they were good friends from high school who were catching up with each other.

I plopped my bottom down firm and strong and let out an impressive sound for the whole restaurant to hear. I couldn’t be bothered any more. I said arrogantly to the waiter, “two orders of chicken fingers and fries and a chocolate milkshake with a couple’s straw.”

The waiter responded with a nod of his head and politely said, “right away sir.”

He turned, walked away and grumbled under his breath, “is he a kid?”

Hmmp! You dare underestimate the power of chicken fingers and fries?! Don’t you know the ladies swoon over a meal like that? Why else would it be so expensive on your menu? Amateur, don’t even try to understand the ways of a true guru in the way of love.

“Husband what type of food is chicken fingers and fries?”

“My wife, it is the finest food available in this world. There is nothing that can possibly surpass this meal. I can assure you of that.”

“Really? Then why do the people in the surroundings look embarrassed for you?”

“They’re not embarrassed those are looks of worship at your husband’s amazing taste.”

“I see.”

After we waited for nearly an hour, our food finally arrived.

Veins were bulging on my forehead threatening to explode from high blood pressure by this point in time.

My wife didn’t seem to mind, since she was a lower realm god, this amount of time was nothing but a drop of water in the ocean to her. To me, on the other hand, this was a giant slap to the face.

What kind of crappy service is this? I could’ve gone to a fast food restaurant twenty times while waiting for this single meal.

Whatever, at least the food is here finally. It doesn’t look great but at least it doesn’t look like there are any cockroach remains in it at least.

Thinking so I realized we didn’t have any ketchup. I asked the waiter if he could get some for us and he said with an annoyed look, “right way VALUED customer.”

My wife also said, “ah can I have some as well?”

“Right away miss beautiful goddess.”

What?! Are you kidding me? This level of discrimination is too much, right?

The waiter left and came back quickly, he was holding a single small container and placed it on my wife’s plate. It was clearly only enough for one person. He then turned his back and walked away like he had accomplished his mission. I grabbed the back of his shirt and said, “hold it!”

He turned around and said, “what?” His expression showed he really thought hard about what I possibly wanted now. It was an expression along the lines of, “what does this useless trash want now?”

You know, I have a limit to how much I can take before exploding, right?

I was so frustrated, but I managed to keep my cool in front of my wife and said, “where is mine?”

“Your what?”

“My ketchup.”

“You asked for ketchup?”

“Sorry valued customer, when was that? Are you sure you’re remembering things correctly?”

“Look buddy, just bring me some damn ketchup.”

“Right away VALUED customer.”

Was that an eye roll? Add another to the list of people to get even with.

I’m really going to need to check that list twice from now on.

I told my wife to go ahead and start eating without me. When she placed a fry into her mouth her eyes raised into crescent moons. When she took a bite out of a chicken finger for the first time she exclaimed with bright eyes, “what is this? It tastes so good! You didn’t lie to me husband! And this red stuff, what did you call it? Ketchup? It compliments it really well!”

This was the only redemption I got out of enduring all that frustration. Watching my wife eat happily like this left me staring in a trance with my hand on my cheek.

I didn’t even notice that half an hour had gone by when she had finished her meal. I still had not taken a single bite out mine yet. In fact, I had not looked at my plate since it came. I only looked at my wife’s since the beginning as I wanted to make absolutely sure there was nothing wrong with it.

This place was a one star after all. Better safe than sorry.

When she had cleared her plate completely, I finally snapped out of my trance. It was only now that I realized that waiter never came back with my ketchup. I was about to just give up, pay the bill and forget about my meal; but the waiter who saw me about to stand up finally came over and dropped a small container with ketchup in it like he had just tossed garbage on the table. He walked away without another word. He wasn’t even bothered enough to spare a glance towards me.

I don’t think I’d ever experienced such humiliation in my life. I will never believe in one star or five stars again. They are all just lies. I’ll find my safe haven in four stars from now on.

I begrudgingly took the ketchup and picked up a cold fry and chicken finger and dipped it in ketchup. I didn’t bother to look as I was too busy having a staring contest with the waiter’s back. When I chomped down I heard a crunch.

Yes. A crunch. Did chicken fingers always have such a texture and taste like this? I looked over to my wife and saw she wasn’t laughing. It was the first time I had seen an expression like this on her face since I met her.

It was one of extreme rage and anger. I didn’t bother to look at what it was I put in my mouth and just spit it out. Sometimes it was better to not know. It really was for the best. I got up and grabbed my wife’s hand and was ready to leave, but at the entrance I saw the waiter crossing his arms smugly.

He said, “VALUED customer, you wouldn’t be trying to dine and dash, would you? You should really pay the bill before leaving sir. You wouldn’t want to be reported to the police, now would you?”

Are you kidding me? I’ll report your entire damn restaurant to the police!

I decided to forget it. I didn’t want to ruin our date any more than it already had been so I took out a five thousand bill while I gnashed my teeth together. I shit out my best glare at the so called waiter to try and intimidate him. This guy was a true scumbag. The lowest and dirtiest of the dirtiest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a ringleader or hidden boss in the underworld. He definitely has the great demon king feeling going for him.

The bastard didn’t even bring the chocolate milkshake in the end, but I didn’t care. I figured I would pay it off anyways.

I handed the bill to him but he just donned a confused expression on his face. He then said something which made me nearly lose my cool and punch his little life out of existence. I’m not a murderer though, so naturally I won’t do that.

“VALUED customer are you trying to short change me? You know, the bill comes up to 813,510,000.”

“Are you kidding me?! It’s 1000 for each meal. The milkshake that we didn’t even get was 500. Even with 10% tax at best it’s still under 3000!”

“VALUED customer, are you crazy? We only serve the finest meals here. Read the menu more carefully.”

When I took the menu and read it closer. Right underneath the 1000 it said “per fry” in fine print. In even smaller fine print, so small it couldn’t be read by a normal person it said, “each chicken finger is 100,000 each”.

At this point I almost blew my top. The blood was truly rushing to my head. I was reaching the boiling point of what I could put up with. This level of scam was too much! But it still didn’t add up.

Six chicken fingers per meal would mean it was 1.2 million. Assuming there were 50 fries in each meal it would be another 100,000.

Where did the rest of that absurdly high amount he stated come from?

It was then the waiter broke down the bill for me.

“You bill is: 1.2 million from the chicken fingers; 100,000 from the fries; 500 per cubic millimetre in a cup worth of chocolate milk shake comes to about 125,000,000.”

I cut him off at this point and said, “it does not say anywhere on this menu about the milkshake being 500 per cubic millimetre!”

“Sir, are you sure?”

“Yes, absolutely!”

“Do you mind letting me take a look?”

I handed the menu back over to him and he took out a marker and scribbled something onto the menu and handed back over to me.

He then said, “sir it is right there. Can you not see? Are you not only ugly but blind as well?”

Y-y-y-y-you… you’re not bad kid. You really got me there. Well played.

I decided to keep my silence as the kid continued.

“Then there is also the time you spent sitting in our restaurant. We aren’t cheap sir. It is 500,000 per minute. You’ve been here for about two and a half hours sir. That comes up to 75,000,000. There is also service fees, we do provide some of the best service in the industry after all. That would be another 100,000,000. Then there is a 50% tax on the weekends. There is also the mandatory tip of 100% the total bill. Altogether that comes up to a total of 903,900,000.”

What the hell is that?! You’re pretty good for a scammer, you know that kid?

But wait, the amount is different isn’t it?

“Isn’t the amount bigger than what you listed before?”

“Well that’s because we treat our first time customers the best. We offer a 10% discount to first time customers.”

Discount?! What the hell? Is me paying you more a god damn discount to you?! More importantly, do you even have second time customers?!

Is there actually some sort of niche for this type of restaurant?

“Sir, how would you like to pay the bill? Cash or credit? In case you can’t pay right now, we also offer a variety of different services. From liquidation of assets, loans, refinancing you name it, we do it all. Would like to enroll? If you act now, we’ll even add another 10% to the owing amount. We’re quite the charitable and understanding restaurant after all.”

I don’t think I have ever met someone this shameless. I thought I was shameless, but this man makes me bow my head in shame. This kid is definitely a prodigy in the art of shamelessness.

“Kid, you’re dreaming if you think I’m going to pay you anything at this point.”

“Sir, can I take it that you are refusing to pay the bill?”

“Naturally.”

“Haaaah, why do they never learn. Oh well, I like the hard way better anyways.”

The young waiter snapped his fingers and a bunch of bulky men surrounded my wife an I. The people that were remaining at the tables all stood up while others came out from behind kitchen area and front entrance.

If this was the me of the past, I would definitely be cowering in a corner in fear. Luckily for me, I was now a mighty cultivator. At least that was what I thought until I saw them all pull out guns and aimed at me.

Why hire such bulky monkeys if you’re just going to give them guns anyways? Damn you stupid underground organizations!

Seeing as I was on a date with my wife, I absolutely didn’t want to have her lift a finger. If it were any other time I would jump and hide behind my wife while clinging to her mighty legs. How can I show such a lame side to her when we’re on our first date though?

There’s a limit to how much bullying I can take!

In all honesty though, when I think about it, isn’t it stupid to surround one man in a circle with guns? Isn’t that just looking for friendly fire? Are you guys stupid?

When I looked closer I noticed it. They were all cheap knock off look alikes. No wonder they’re all bulky! It’s in the event the person sees through the intimidation!

Most people won’t have composure to pay attention to the small details when they’re distracted by these hulking monkeys. This is their turf after all. They don’t want to repair it every time they shoot the place up. Therefore they target those that look like weak pushovers. First it’s a straightforward approach, then it’s a cunning approach, if all else fails, it’s the down and dirty approach.

This kid’s a pain in the ass. A true villain to the core. I like his style. He may have infuriated me to no end, but for a mortal, he’s got what it takes to be an infamous antagonist in the making.

Who knew I’d find such a young talent in my home realm.

“Well sir, I suppose we can make an exception for you. You see, my coworkers here get a bit frustrated sometimes and it’s been some time since they were able to satisfy themselves. If you let my coworkers enjoy your wife for a few days, all your debts will be considered cleared off.”

Those men surrounding us let out sinister laughs as they were ogling my wife like she were a lamb ready for a slaughter.

They touched my bottom line. I could sense that kid had such thoughts as well towards my wife. Your buddies are done kid. As for you? I’ll make sure we have a long chat about right and wrong later on.

“Go ahead shoot us, I dare you.”

“Tch. So the brain dead idiot isn’t blind.”

“Boys get him.”