Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 54 Chapter 53.

(POV crown prince, Ten Jo)

When I opened my eyes what came into view were cold metal bars. Having lived a life of luxury I couldn’t quite believe my eyes so I rubbed them to make sure I was really seeing things correctly.

When I came to understand this was reality and not a dream, the first thing I thought was… I’m free? No more forced cultivation? No more acting like a arrogant crown prince? Could this be heaven?

Can I just stay in this room for the rest of my life and not do anything anymore? I don’t ever have to lift a finger again? No more hard problems involving politics?

No more father to beat my ass senseless whenever I mess up or say something stupid?

No more aides, retainers, or attendants secretly thinking of me as an idiot and making snide remarks behind my back?

No more father to beat my ass senseless? Yes this was the most important part. Hence the need to emphasize it twice.

This is a prison, right? It’s the place I’ve always dreamed of!

Isn’t this the life I’ve always wished to live?

I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks as I revealed the happiest smile I had ever shown in my entire life.

If I could stay here forever, wouldn’t that be great?

“Hey, buddy there’s no need to cry, is there? I understand for a first timer it may be a bit scary, but I’ll have you know, it is your lucky day to come to the shangri la known as prison where meals are free. You don’t have to do any work and you can sleep all day and not worry about having to find a place to shelter yourself against the harsh winter nights alone on the streets.”

“Mister, you don’t need to tell me, my good man. It has been my dream since I was a child to come to this place. To have my dreams come true, you can’t understand how moved I am at this moment.”

“Eh? Is this kid actually a pervert or something. Kid, don’t tell me you want to drop the soap.”

“What? What does that mean?”

The beggar like man sitting on the bench across from me opened his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what I just said.

“Kid don’t tell me you’ve never watched a movie before? Even a beggar like me has seen and heard things.”

“Old man what are you talking about?”

“Kid trust me, whatever you do. When you are taking a shower… do not drop the soap. If you do happen to drop it, if someone from behind you asks you if you are going to pick it up… do not pick it up! I’ll repeat this since it’s important, but at all costs, you must never bend over to pick it up with someone behind you.”

“But it would be such a waste of soap, wouldn’t it? I may not look like it, but I am a rather frugal prince. I will save and cut costs anywhere and everywhere I can.”

“A prince? Kid… are you actually an uke?”

“Eh? What’s that?”

“It’s fine if you don’t know. Just don’t go around spouting about being a prince here. You won’t have a good time.”

“Old man where are we anyways?”

“Well it’s natural you don’t know, you were tossed into this jail cell while you were unconscious. We are presently in the slammer downtown”

“Kid, what are you even in here for?”

“Uh I took someone’s car after winning a fight with them and drove off at high speed. At some point I took a heavy hit from my left side and eventually passed out when the car was sent flying through the air.”

“I see, in summary, you held someone up, beat them down, stole their car and drove off. You likely got chased by the cops and then got into a car accident. From the sounds of it, you probably got hit by a truck to be sent flying through the air like that.”

“Kid, aren’t you actually hot stuff?”

“Not bad kid. If you were aiming for prison, that should get you quite a bit of time in here.”

“I’d never have the guts to pull that off. The most I could do was pissing on public property and indecent exposure. I spent a majority of my time flashing my junk out to pedestrians passing by.”

“I’ll have you know, I was pretty famous. I even had quite a few titles.”

“The little elephant that could.”

“The helicopter man.”

“The worm.”

“The little brother every woman wants to get a bite out of.”

“The endowed one.”

“Gifted one punch shiner.”

“The list goes on, but I am pretty well off if I do say so myself.”

This pervert kept boasting on and on about how disgusting he was, it was to the point where I regretted ever talking to him.

“Hey, losers. It’s time for your meals.”

The old man in front of me started salivating and his expression turned serious. He said, “kid, don’t blame me, blame yourself for being too weak.”

The old man got up and jumped towards me with a hand looking like he was about to karate chop me from behind my neck.

I opened my eyes wide at his sudden change in attitude when the food was suddenly brought. Old man, I don’t even want it that badly. It’s just prison food, it’s not like it’s fine cuisine. Not that I know what that tastes like anyways. I was forced to eat fasting pills day in and day out. You think as a crown prince I would have tasted an unimaginable amount of delicacies, but reality is cruel.

Before I could get out a single word, the old man, who in my eyes was incredibly slow, whom I thought was aiming for behind my neck raised his other hand while I was busy watching his hand that formed into a karate chop.

Before I realized what happened, two fingers penetrated deep into my eye sockets leaving me completely blinded.

“What the hell?! You dirty old fart! Why were you acting all strong when you were just going to play dirty and poke me in the eyes.”

“Kid, prison may be nice, but it’s only nice to those with the power to take the resources they want. I’ve been kind enough to give you this lesson early on. Never let your guard down in the world of prisons. It’s a rat eat dog type of world.”

“What? Don’t you mean dog eat dog?”

“Ha! Moron! The intelligent scheming rat will be the one to triumph over the idiotic panting dog any day.”

“I see.”

While I was busy rubbing my eyes that were throbbing in pain. Ugh. So humiliating, to be taught a lesson by a 2nd realm mortal. It’s a good thing no one I knew was around to see that.

“Crown prince?”

“Eh?”

When I regained my vision what came into view was a familiar muscular black man with a thirsty look on his face.

Ugh. Don’t tell me my short lived heavenly prison life is about to end so quickly. It can’t be they are already sending people to break me out.

Damn, I was just starting to enjoy being able to talk like a normal person too.

“Hmmp! It’s about time you morons came to bail me out. What took you so long?”

“Ah. Sorry crown prince. There were a few complications that came up.”

“Where is that useless incompetent aide of mine? That fool Hosa Kan better get his ass over here soon.”

“Boss, sorry to inform you, but the break out party only consists of me.”

“What?”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You better explain.”

“Uh… well… to be honest, I’m not really here because of any grand plan your aide came up with.”

“What? Then why are you here?”

“I heard certain rumors.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“I heard this was a place where dreams come true.”

“Eh? What? No, I know you have your strange preferences, but you can’t be for real, right?”

“I voluntarily got captured.”

“What?! Why?!”

“I heard rumors about people dropping soap.”

I didn’t quite understand it, but chills went down my back. Was that supposed to be code for something? Why don’t I get it at all?

“Uhm… then is there actually no plan to break me out?”

“Fear not boss, although your aide didn’t come up with a plan. Your mighty minion, Kuro Dong, has thought of a great idea. I managed to buy these two pills that allows one to change their appearance for 24 hours. If we use this I can disguise as you and you can disguise as a cop, knock him out and easily walk out of here without any effort.”

“Wait, wait, wait! What about you? Why do you need to disguise as me and stay here? Can’t we both escape like that?”

“What are you talking about crown prince? If we both disappear then they will be out looking for both of us, but if only I disappear they will never think to stop to check you since your build is so different from mine.”

“No, isn’t it still strange? Your plan has so many flaws I can’t even begin to count. After 24 hours you’re just going to revert back to normal. It’s not like you will stay looking like me forever.”

“Tch. Would you just be a good crown prince and scram?”

“Eh? Why me? Why don’t you leave?”

“What? Crown prince… it can’t be that you want to stay here too, right?”

“…”

“Are you telling me you actually came here not to rescue me, but because you also dream of staying in this safe haven?”

“Crown prince, I said it before, but I came here voluntarily because of people who would drop soap.”

His eyes had a strange madness and caused my danger senses to scream like a little girl being violated by eyes that were raping my feeble body.

I couldn’t stop my butt cheeks from clenching up tightly and trembling.

“Well, since the two of us don’t want to leave… how about we both just stay here and become the rulers of the prison and live an easy life?”

“Crown prince… that is probably the smartest and wisest thing I have ever heard you say in all the time I have known you.”

“Hmmp! Who do you think I am? I am the crown prince of an empire!”

“Whatever you say, just try not to drop the soap in front of me.”

I’ve been trying to play dumb this entire time and act like I didn’t understand, but who am I kidding? I damn well know what dropping the soap will lead to by this point.

If I had a nail I would make sure to stab it through the soap and into my hand to make sure that thing never falls.

While the two of use were catching up the old man who previously got one up on me let out a large burp and pat his stomach in satisfaction.

“Ahh! That stuff really hits the spot. Hey, kid, I saved a tiny bit for you. I felt a bit bad about pulling the rug out from under your feet, so here you go.”

That shameless old fart handed over a bowl with meager portions remaining in five separate dishes.

When I laid eyes on the food I was shocked. Is this really prison food?!

Rice boiled with barley, fried fish, thinly sliced daikon radish, noodle salad, miso soup. Five rather simple dishes, but isn’t this too high class? Shouldn’t it be a slice of dried out bread or something?

I won’t lie, but after eating fasting pills all the time, even a slice of dried out bread sounded alright to me. It was only now that my eyes began to turn bloodshot when I realized how badly this old man scammed me

“Old man.”

“What?”

“I’ll remember this. Debts of blood will be paid in blood. I promise you.”

“What? You want another one of this old man’s good old one, two combo?”

“Kid, you are a thousand, no, a million years to early to get one over on this old man.”

“Just wait old man. Just you wait and see who will become the king of this prison.”

“Kid, wait. I see something deep within your eyes. I can feel it kid. You’re going to be something great. Take this as a token of apology from this old man.”

The old man handed over a thin looking book. When I saw the cover my eyes opened wide with sparkles in them.

“Old man, this is?”

“Well, you got arrested for stealing a car, right? I figured you were an enthusiast to go so far, so I thought this would be something you might be interested in.”

“Old man, you could definitely be a great ruler in the world of politics if you put your mind to it.”

“Hmmp! What? You want to become my disciple now?”

“Eh? No.”

“Oh, you don’t? Well that’s a shame. I had all these magazines and I really didn’t know what to do with them. If only I had a disciple who I could pass down my legacy to. Such a shame. Finding good disciples these days is so difficult.”

When I heard he had more of these godly items he called magazines I bent down and prostrated before him and acknowledged him as my master. You can call me cheap, stupid or a moron, but for the sake of learning more about these divine devices called cars I will do anything!

When I finally got up the old man had a gentle smile on his face and he pat my shoulder with boundless warmth in his eyes. I felt a bit troubled because I somewhat understood what that look meant, but it was too late to take back my words. I definitely acted on the spur of the moment without thinking things through there since the blood rushed to my head.

That moment where I lost clarity was a huge lapse in judgement. Being a prince who knew all about scheming, I could tell the old man was really thinking, “great I caught a real sucker this time.”

“Uhm. I think I was too quick to act just now. Can I take back my words just now so we can act like none of that just happened?”

“What are you talking about my precious disciple? You’ve got a lot of things to do, if we’re going to rule this prison, don’t you?”

Ugh. I caught his meaning there. He was basically saying, get to work while your master slacks off and watches from his high stool while you do all the hard work.

“Crown prince. Who is this old man?”

I knew I really messed up this time, but as an arrogant crown prince I naturally had to keep up my act.

“What are you doing you moron?! Can you not tell this man is a hidden master distanced from the mortal realm? He is merely hiding his true powers. You saw me on the ground earlier when you first came in, right? Well, that was thanks to this master teaching me a lesson in life. Never underestimate anyone. I thought I truly understood that, but apparently I was still lacking.”

“Why do you look so doubtful you moron? Bow down and pay respects! Did you not see your crown prince go so far as to acknowledge him as his master?”

“Right…”

Thus on this day history was made in this realm. Two people, one being an 8th realm semi transcendent while the other being a peak 10th realm semi transcendent bowed down to a 2nd realm mortal scammer.

The things I am forced to do to keep my face in front of the morons from my empire can only leave me shaking my head in shame.