Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 58 Chapter 57.

“Hey buddy, why are you so tense and standing up like your about to kill someone?”

“Who’s your buddy?”

“No need to get so irritated man. I was just trying to break the ice. You looked like you were pretty mad with how that guy on stage was acting. You were even staring daggers in his direction. I know the guy’s bad, but you don’t need to be so harsh, do you?”

What is he talking about? Oh, you mean that kid on stage who looks like he’s been wanting to pee himself since I stood up a moment ago?

I didn’t realize it but I was radiating a strong killing intent. That kid probably thought he killed my grandparents or something. I felt like I had to apologize, but how can a mighty cultivator like me apologize to an ant?

“Uhm, kid good luck.”

“Eh? Is that why you were staring daggers at me just now?” The kid on stage asked me with a face that said he had been horribly wronged.

“Uh… yeah. I just really wanted to wish you luck.”

“I-I see. Hahaha.”

“Hahaha.” I naturally laughed back like we were actually good buddies.

The kid then quickly finished up his lines and ran out of the room in the direction of the nearest restroom.

I felt a bit embarrassed from my blunder and kept my head down low.

I could hear the whispers in the crowd saying things like, “isn’t that guy horrible?”

“The worst.”

“Scum.”

“Trash.”

“Despicable.”

…

Gossip like that continued for several minutes in the crowd until I heard a certain voice say, “isn’t he kind of hot?”

It was only that one whisper that managed to help me slightly recover.

When I looked over to who it was, it was the young man who had returned from the washroom who took a seat back in the crowd.

I don’t want a man! Why aren’t you a woman?! I want to cry. I haven’t ever had the time to play around with any woman as the aide to the crown prince. I’m always buried in work or stuck cultivating like a madman. The first person to ever call me hot, and it’s a man?

Ugh. I don’t need men with weak bladders thinking that way about me.

Could you at least be a woman crossdressing as a man?

Yeah right, like that would ever happen.

While time passed by, several people had gone up with hope in their eyes, only to come back down minutes later from the stage with dread and despair in their eyes.

It looks like the lead role is quite difficult. They not only needed to be able to act, but were required to pull off their own stunts as well. All the stunt actors and even the main actor were all injured after all.

Apparently all the stunt actors failed a certain stunt, left with no choice the main actor decided to attempt it himself. He was too overconfident in his abilities and in the end, he failed and thus this emergency audition was held.

When it was down to just three people, including me. The crowd was extremely disappointed. Only the director still had an eager expression on his face. It looked like he couldn’t hold himself back anymore and announced something other than his usual, “next.”

He said, “for the last audition, we’ll have the last three participants take the stage at the same time. Since I’m sure everyone is tired of the same old lines and exact same practice stunt, I feel we should spice things up a bit and let them do ad lib for a change of pace. The stunt they perform will be completely up to them. It will be a good way to end the evening.”

“Director, what are you talking about?! We can’t do that! That would be unfair to all the auditions that went before this.”

“Director’s orders are final, besides we’ve saved the best three for last.”

“The stunt devil known for his death defying tricks, let’s give a hand to the man known as ‘Hell Transcending Heaven.’ The second master of his craft, known as ‘The God of Deathly Acrobatics.’ Finally the underdog, the unknown man of mysteries I personally discovered, a man I like to call, ‘Anything is Possible!’”

“Let’s give these three men a round of applause, I expect a great performance from the three of them.”

Clap.

What the heck? Am I supposed to be that “Anything is Possible?” Also, what was with that one clap that stopped after realizing no one else was doing it?!

No but really now, what’s with that stupid title? I started to regret my decision to come to this audition. I don’t want to be tagged with such a stupid title.

One of my minions placed a hand on my shoulder while he snickered and said, “big boss, ‘Anything is Possible’ break a leg out there. Hahahaha. Anything is possible, did you hear him guys?”

My mouth was constantly twitching, but it was too late to back down now. It was too late to get rid of that stupid title anyways. This damn crown prince better appreciate all of the suffering I’m going through to save his sorry ass.

The other two didn’t look any better than me. They were also hiding their heads in their hands.

“Hehehe. What lame names. Did you guys make them up when you were kids?”

“Shut up! We don’t have such weird nicknames! It’s that stupid clown for a director. It’s all his fault they stuck with us for the rest of our lives.”

Ah. Does that mean I really have no way to get rid of that stupid name?

“Hey boss, good luck! Anything is possible boss!”

“You show them your laser beam eyes.”

“No wait, boss should use his special beam cannon instead.”

“No way, boss needs to show his true power. I’ve sensed the seal on boss’ right hand weakening lately. Hahaha!”

To the three infuriating minions over there, I’ll remember this. Just wait until this is over.

“Mister Anything is Possible, your can really do all those things?”

The two actors beside me looked at me with serious expressions like I was suddenly their biggest rival.

I felt my cheeks redden in shame and said, “they are just joking. Naturally I can’t do that.”

“”Tch. Useless, can’t even do such easy things.””

What the hell?! You can do that?

I felt embarrassed that I was now being looked down upon for not being able to do things these two found were easy.

In a slight fluster I said “what? I was just joking, of course I can do such easy things.”

“Then, when it’s your turn, you better prove it.”

Ugh. What do I do? I didn’t know these mortals could do such strange things. How am I supposed to shoot laser beams from my eyes? Maybe I can fake it? How about condensing spiritual energy in my eyes to the point it is visible and shooting them out? What about special beam cannon? I guess I could use sword ki, right? Just have it radiate from my fingers and make it look like a long pole instead of a sword. The power or efficiency doesn’t really matter after all. I guess it would just be useful as a party trick.

Then the seal on my right hand… what do I do about that?!

While I was busy scrambling over what to do in my head, the two other guys started their act.

They performed all sorts of crazy flips and stunts and even dodged projectiles from something that looked similar to a gun, but instead of dangerous metal projectiles, they shot out red balls that splattered out a crimson liquid in all directions when they hit the walls behind them. They dodged through it all like it was completely choreographed before hand. Not a single red ball touched them.

While I was stupidly staring at them, the director waved at me anxiously like he really wanted me to do something.

I reluctantly took the stage and followed through with my earlier plans. I stood in a position I determined no balls would fire at and accumulated spiritual energy in my eyes. Once it built up enough I shot two beams out of my eyes and blinded the two others men performing their stunts. My move caused them to be hit by several of those balls flying through the air. They were completely dyed red after there blunder. Yep, their blunder. It’s absolutely not my fault they couldn’t anticipate my unusually mighty laser beam eyes.

… so embarrassing.

My next move was to gather sword ki in my two fingers. I placed my two fingers on my forehead for show and mumbled three embarrassing words out under my breath. Then like lightning I swiped my right hand from right to left and managed to make the devices shooting out red balls fall over on their sides.

At this point I realized I needed a so called seal on my right hand. Unfortunately I really didn’t have any ideas. The best I could think of was to scream out, “akk! The seal on my right hand!” After saying that I slammed my palm onto the ground and caved in the stage. A small crater of about five meters in radius was formed.

When I finished with my little act I embarrassingly looked up to see the crowd staring with jaws dropped like they couldn’t believe what they had just seen.

Was it really that bad? No wonder they said it was something easy. The crowd was clearly shocked that I would perform something so subpar.

Thinking I had made a fool of myself, I decided to walk off the stage towards the only noisy group that were having the time of their lives while laughing themselves to tears.

“Did you hear him? Did you guys? He tried to hide it by mumbling under his breath, but he really said it, ‘special beam cannon.’ What a clown!”

“No no no. The seal on his right hand was the best man.”

“What are you talking about guys, those laser beam eyes were to die for!”

When I reached them I gave them a good hard kick to the stomach of the three fools rolling on the ground with tears in their eyes.

“Let’s go.”

“Wait! What are you doing mister Anything is Possible?! You’re hired!”

“What?”

“You’ve got the lead role!”

“Even after I put on such a subpar performance? I didn’t even act out any lines. I only mumbled out a single line under my breath and one other embarrassing line loud enough for everyone to hear.”

“Who cares? Those stunts or special effects; whatever you want to call them, they were amazing! Completely superhuman feats. With you, it feels like there would hardly be a need for any special effects to be added in.”

“I see. Then I’ll take the role.”

It was then a grand applause burst out from the audience. It looked like I had full approval from them all. It was just three simple little party tricks, yet they’re worshipping me like some sort of messiah. Aren’t these mortals actually really gullible?

“Your suit also fits the appearance of the character perfectly in the scene coming up tomorrow. We’ll change it up a bit and act like in this scene the protagonist is wearing some sort of disguise to keep his identity a secret.”

“With you here, I’m sure this one scene will draw the eyes of the world!”

“Right.”

After finishing up with the young man and discussing where to meet up tomorrow, we took our leave.

My minions still snickered to themselves, occasionally pointed at me and even nudged each other in the gut every now and then while they followed me from behind. When we exited the theatre, we decided to find somewhere to rest for the night. It had been a long day and I was exhausted.

We managed to find a street that was lit up with red lights and found somewhere that looked like we could take a rest at. When we went up to the counter the man shot us a strange look, but chose to say nothing. We asked him for four of the cheapest rooms available and handed over enough money to stay for ten hours.

He handed over four cards which I assumed would be used to open the rooms we would be staying in.

We made our way over to a rectangular door that had numbers above it and a button with an arrow pointing up at the side. I pressed it and after a moment the door opened up.

I looked at the cards and it had the numbers 913-916 on them. I assumed it would be on the ninth floor and pressed the corresponding button. After a short while we made it to our rooms. They were side by side and across from each other. We each took a card and swiped it in front of a black rectangular box on the side of the door and they automatically opened up.

I didn’t look back for a second and dashed into the room and slammed the door. Good riddance you annoying slimy smelly minions. Finally some alone time. After that I jumped on to the bed and quickly fell asleep. It was the best rest I had in a long time.