Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 63 Chapter 62.

(POV Sanji)

Sitting directly in front of me was a certain man. When I saw him I couldn’t help but ask.

“So what are you in for bud?”

“You know damn well what I’m in for!”

“Did you rob a bank or something?”

“Shut up.”

“Did you blow something up?”

“I said, shut up.”

“How’d they catch you? Weren’t you confident in your abilities?”

“You’re not any better off.”

“What are you talking about? I’m doing great. Can’t you see my wife giving me a shoulder massage?”

His face paled and he looked away.

“Boss slipped on a banana peel shortly after he made his great escape into a dead end alleyway.”

“By the time he got up he didn’t even have the chance to bust a wall open to escape. He was surrounded with nowhere to escape.”

“You moron! Don’t tell him pointless crap!”

“But boss was so confident back then. I think his title got to his head and he really thought anything was possible for him. Pfthaha!”

“Well, isn’t this great though? You managed to reunite with your crown prince.”

“You imbecile! How dare you address, I, the crown prince of the celestial empire so casually?!”

“Yeah, yeah. Isn’t this great? We’re all one big happy family of criminals now.”

I couldn’t help but find the entire situation hilarious.

Mighty cultivators from another realm were completely helpless when guns were pointing down their throats.

I really wonder if I’d ever become strong enough to take an atomic bomb without taking any damage. From my viewpoint, I always thought even the weakest cultivator would crush a regular mortal, but are cultivators actually really overrated?

“Husband, I can more or less guess what you’re thinking right now. For the record, when you become a lower god you’ll be able to take an atomic bomb with no damage. The power of an atomic bomb is about equivalent to the attack from a demigod. The power to bring severe damage to a planet is on the level of strength a lower god has. A weapon that can destroy a planet is equivalent to the power of a middle god. The level of strength required to destroy a solar system is on the level of a high god. A 1 star true god is capable of destroying a single galaxy while a 5 star true god can destroy a universe. When you are able to casually destroy an entire realm is when you will be at the level of a lower realm god. The most I can ever see the humans of your realm accomplishing through the use of technology, would be the destruction of a solar system. That in itself is still a rather terrifying thought. However that is the utmost limit of what I can see technology of your world being capable of accomplishing, but even that is a result that would happen far off into the future.”

“When you enter the transcendent realm, bullets won’t be able to hurt you. When you reach the saint realm you can take a tank shell and even an artillery strike head on.”

Having my eyes opened I suddenly realized how amazing mortals were. Cultivators? What the hell, are you kidding me? Basically a less than a hundred year old mortal, with the push of a button, releasing an atomic bomb can deal a strike at the same level as a who knows how old demigod?

“Husband, don’t get cocky. If a cultivator determines he can’t beat a mortal he can just hide away for a hundred years and that mortal will be long dead. Of course, that’s assuming technology does not develop to the point where extending one’s life becomes possible.”

With wide open eyes I retorted loudly, “shameless cultivators like that exist?! What the hell?!”

“Boss, he’s still crazily talking to his alleged ghost wife. What do we do?”

“Just ignore him. We saw and heard nothing. He doesn’t exist. He’s just air.”

While I was unjustly insulted the truck we were being transported in made an abrupt stop.

After some time, the back of it opened up and they let three people in. When my gaze landed on one of them in particular my body froze up. Why is she here?!

“Eh? Little brother?”

I quickly turned to my wife with a begging and pleading face and whispered, “please make it so my sister can’t recognize me!”

When my big sister got closer and re-examined me she confusedly muttered, “what? Was I mistaken? Is it someone who just looks like him?”

“Futufu husband, I bet you were surprised, right? I was too when I found out. Who knew my beautiful little sister in law would be dragged along with little Han? Who would have expected the girl little Han had a fling with was actually best friends with sister in law? Husband, how long do you think you’ll be able to deceive your big sister like this?”

No way, I don’t want my big sister to think of me as a criminal! Actually, why is she here anyways? Did she commit some sort of unforgivable crime?

“Husband, are you curious? Her friend framed her for a crime so she could drag her along with her.”

Wait. You mentioned it before, but… best friend? You can’t mean, the best friend that big sister mentioned in the past, who she was once in a lesbian relationship with was little Han’s fling?!

Holy shit!

Whatever, as shocking as all that is, if she figures out who I am, the scam I have going with little Han will fall to pieces. What do I do? What do I do? I can’t let the image of a venerable master I’ve put so much effort to maintain go down the drain like nothing.

My big sister who had second guessed herself got even closer and examined my face carefully.

I naturally put on an indifferent facade and said, “like what you see young lady?”

“You have a stupid look like my little brother. Actually it might be dumber than his.”

Who has a stupid look?! Who looks dumb?! Is that what you’ve always thought of me big sister?!

“You even look at my chest the same way.”

“I’m not looking. I’m admiring.”

“You even say the same stupid lines.”

“Shina, what are you doing?”

“Sorry, I mistook him for my little brother.”

“Your little brother looks like this scammer?”

You! I don’t look like a scammer, I mean I get that I am actually a scammer, but I’m still a respected venerable master in little Han’s eyes.

I naturally couldn’t pick a fight with this woman though, I’m a distanced from the mortal world master.

“Child, I am no scammer. I still haven’t acknowledged your relationship with little Han.”

“Venerable master, greetings. Thank you for your hint.”

“Oh. It’s good that you realized it child. Otherwise my efforts would have been wasted.”

“Venerable master, where is your wife?”

“Oh her? She’s around doing her own thing.”

More like she is right behind me giving me a shoulder massage while watching with interest just waiting to see how I will mess up my act.

“You! It’s the brat that was with the woman who defended your patriarch! I knew I recognized you!”

“Brat, are you saying his ghost wife really exists?!”

“Ah. You’re the jerks that attacked my adoptive father!”

Thus the big family was reunited and everyone lived happily ever after behind bars.

“What do you mean ghost wife? You’ve surely seen her with your own eyes when she halted your attack, right?”

“You’re kidding me, that woman who effortlessly blocked out attacks was a ghost?!”

Eh? They are talking the same language, right? Why does he still not understand she’s not a ghost?

It seems Anything is Possible really couldn’t deal with it and he started hyperventilating while holding his knees while rocking back and forth. How traumatized by ghosts is this guy?

“Brat, don’t tell me you’ve seen their daughter as well.”

“What daughter? I’ve never seen their daughter before.”

He started trembling even more. It looked like he came to his own conclusions about things.

“I see nothing. I know nothing. I hear nothing. Lalalalala.”

Ignoring the man who completely broke down. Like hell I’m going to ignore him.

I whispered so nobody else could hear under my breath, “if my ghost daughter doesn’t exist let the heavens smite something down.”

Crash!

When I examined him closer him his teeth chattered together while he shivered uncontrollably like he thought the thunder were related to the ghosts as I had intended. Isn’t this too much fun?

It was even a stormy night with heavy rainfall at night while we were being transported to this mysterious prison. I felt like I really had to set the mood perfectly with the sudden thunder and flash of lightning.

How about some ghost stories to break the ice?

The occasional bumps in the road with the sound of rain in the background was truly too perfect to pass up this chance.

“How about to pass the time we tell some stories?” I naturally looked towards the three stooges and smiled deviously. It seems they caught on quickly and returned a malicious smile while peeking at their traumatized boss.

“Then, how about I go first?”

“Wait! What’s with this random turn of events? Why is it suddenly story time?”

Aoi tried to get her two cents in, but we simply ignored her.

Stooge 1 started his story off and said, “it was a dark and stormy night, similar to tonight.”

“There was a fifteen year old young man who was minding his own business, he was working as the aide to a certain prince of an empire. On this night, while he was dutifully catching up on his work the candles were suddenly blown out. When he looked up he noticed the door was slightly ajar. He enjoyed his privacy and knew that he would never leave the door open like that.”

“He thought it must have been some sort of prank, so he naturally got up to close the door. The moment he touched the door knob to close it, he heard something from the other side. It was the sound of a cracking voice that started off at a low frequency before the intervals between the cracking sounds progressively increased.”

“The man was startled and quickly opened the door wide to see what was behind. When he did, guess what he saw?”

“Was it a little girl?”

“No… there was no one there.”

“…”

“But the story does not end there. The young man was naturally startled so he hurriedly ran back and sat down on the chair behind his desk to try and finish up his work as quickly as possible so he could leave right away. However, when he returned to the desk, do you know what he saw?”

“A little girl?”

“No… there was… a bloody baby handprint on the document he was just working on.”

Crash!

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

Did you think that was Aoi or my big sister? Sorry, you were wrong, that was Anything is Possible.

He was on the verge of tears and hugging his knees tightly with a terrified face.

“The story doesn’t end there though. The man naturally fell backwards on his chair when he saw that handprint. When he did, can you imagine what he saw on the ceiling?”

“A little girl?”

“No, he saw written in blood, ‘look down below your desk.’”

“Ahhhhhhh! No more! I can’t take it! Don’t remind me!”

“When he looked downwards while laying on his back, he saw a little girl beneath the desk with her head tilted ninety degrees pointed towards the ground with her blood stained hand holding onto his leg.”

Anything is Possible foamed at the mouth like he was on the verge of death from fear. Well I think I somewhat understood now why he’s so afraid of little girls. I might really piss my pants too if that happened to me.

“Ooo me next, me next!”

There’s more?

“It was a silent night. There was a certain twelve year old who was busy cultivating peacefully in his home.”

“He would occasionally pop a pill into his mouth to replenish his spiritual energy while cultivating. He started off with six pills in front of him.”

“After two hour passed he ate one pill and closed his eyes to continue his cultivation. After another two hours passed he opened his eyes and guess what he saw?”

“Was it a little girl?”

“No, he saw four pills. He thought he might have made a mistake and ignored it. He popped a pill and simply closed his eyes and resumed cultivating.”

“After another two hours passed he opened his eyes again. Guess what he saw?”

“A little girl?”

“Stop guessing the same thing damnit!”

“He saw there was still three pills like he expected. He was relieved and popped one in his mouth. Another two hours passed and he opened his eyes, do you know what he saw? Well… he saw one pill remaining.”

When I looked at Anything is Possible I could see he was on his side with his hands against his ears trying to zone everything out. I could tell by the occasional twitch of his body he could still hear everything. His eyes were vacant like he wanted to deny the existence of everything within the world.

“Do you know what happened next? As he extended his hand to examine the last pill in uncertainty, the whisper of a little girl sounded out from behind him and asked him, ‘where’s mine?’”

It looks like he had finally reached his limit and passed out from recounting his childhood traumas.

“This isn’t fair, I haven’t even gone yet!”

I guess even the third stooge had his own story.

“One day a certain overly talented nine year old brat, who was destined to become the aide to a certain prince was cockily concocting pills. This overly talented prick really had it coming to him. Even the heavens wished to take him down a peg.”

“He took out his favourite pill furnace from one of the cupboards and placed it on the ground. He was a cocky little brat and was trying to create a nine yin pellet. Perhaps he would have become a true prodigy in the world of pill concocting if not for a certain tragic event that left him traumatized and unable to ever hold another pill furnace.”

Oi. Isn’t this a bit much for bullying? Did your boss really deserve this? I started to feel bad for the poor guy for having such crappy childhood acquaintances.

“That child carefully put in one ingredient at a time. He was very diligent with his work and quickly reached the point of nearly completing the pill. However, at the final step, just as he was about to finish forming the pill, something bizarre happened. He sensed that all of the medicinal substances within the pill furnace disappeared into thin air. He didn’t understand in the slightest what had occurred and anxiously rushed to open the pill furnace to investigate the mysterious disappearance, but just as he was about to remove the lid from the pill furnace, the lid slightly rattled and vibrated like something were trying to force its way out.”

“The child was startled and jumped backwards at the sudden development. Just when he calmed his beating heart and was about to get up and head back over to the pill furnace it rattled once again until the lid half slid off by itself.”

“At this point the child knew something had definitely gone terribly wrong, but it was too late for him to do anything. It was at that very moment a pair of small fingers grabbed onto the lid of the pill furnace from within.”

“A voice sounded out from inside, ‘I’m free! Kakakakaka!’”

“The lid was violently flung to the side as an entire arm abruptly shot straight out of the pill furnace with its palm opened up towards the heavens like it wished to drag it down to the nine hells in defiance towards the world’s natural order. It was similar to how a man buried alive would emerge from the ground.”

“The arm wrapped around the pill furnace as a head slowly emerged from within. A little girl with her eyes barely peeking over the opening of the pill furnace could be seen by the child. She stared directly into the eyes of the horrified terror stricken child. She raised her head further to reveal her nose before a grin stretching from one ear to the other all while twisting her head about in an eerily bizarre fashion while crawling out of the pill furnace.”

“After that, the child who seemed unable to bear any more passed out. After a few hours he regained consciousness. When he woke up, all he saw was his pill furnace back in one piece like everything that happened was merely a dream.”

“The boy sighed in relief and thought it was just a terrible nightmare.”

“However, when he glanced at his arm, he saw something written in crimson letters. What was written out in blood was two simple words, ‘I’m free.’”

What the hell did these guys make their little sisters do?! Isn’t this too much?! It is, right?

I’m not the weird one, right?

Well, that poor guy was luckily already unconscious so the last story really didn’t do much damage.

Eh am I wrong? I thought he was already out cold, but he was rolling around a lot on the ground for someone who was unconscious. Could it be he’s actually having a nightmare?

The third stooge who just finished his story walked over to his unconscious boss and started repeatedly whispering, “I’m free.”

Every time he repeated it, it appeared his boss’ nightmare only intensified.

It continued like that for a few minutes before the third stooge finally felt satisfied and went back to his seat.

He looked really refreshed like he had accomplished something great.

After that, people took turns and told their stories, a few hours passed like this until the truck we were being transported in eventually came to a permanent stop signalling we were likely at our destination.

It was only then my wife said mysteriously, “husband, we’re here.”