Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 65 Chapter 64.

Finally at the bottom of the staircase, we were lead to another door. This door was much unlike any other door I had seen since coming here. I started to wonder if doors were a gimmick in this place as this particular door had a human face inscribed on it.

It was so lifelike I started to question if it was a real face.

No, really, it even blinked a few times.

“Stop! To pass this point, one must answer the security question.”

Are you serious? Security question? Did I forget my online banking password or something?

I looked the guard in the eyes and he just nodded to confirm my suspicions.

My confidence in that little girl becoming someone great one day only increased further.

“Husband, isn’t that little girl too clever and cute? I hope our daughter is as adorable as her in the future.”

I truly felt appalled by my wife who couldn’t understand other people’s pain.

“Do we really have to do this again?”

“Haaaaah. Do you think I like asking these stupid questions everytime? It’s my job though. I get paid for this.”

“Fine. Hurry up, ask your stupid question.”

It looked like the guard and the face on the door were well acquainted with each other.

“What rhymes with orange?”

“Oi. Are you messing with us? Everyone knows nothing rhymes perfectly with that!”

“Sorry. There’s nothing I can do about it. This was the question she came up with today.”

“Are you telling me we will need to wait until midnight when the question resets?”

Eh? The question resets daily? Isn’t that a pain in the ass?

It was at this moment, I felt like I needed to step up and solve the poor guard’s misconception of it being unrhymable.

I really felt bad for the guy when I saw him tremble and on the verge of collapse. It looks like he had suffered on many occasions thanks to the director’s daughter.

I put on the air of a refined master and with distance eyes while looking off into the distance I said with an ancient sounding tone of voice, “sporange.”

“…”

The guard thought I was making things up and had an outburst.

“What the hell? Are you trying to mess with us? Sporange? What the hell is that?! Are you just making words up now?”

Of course I said without sending him a single glance and I said absentmindedly, “it is a part of the reproductive system of certain sporing plants.”

That advanced placement biology class I took in high school really paid off. Thanks to it, I realized the false misconception that it was not perfectly rhymable with any other word.

At least that’s what I like to tell myself. The truth is, I just searched it up on the web one day in high school when someone first told me nothing rhymed perfectly with orange.

“He’s… correct. You may pass.”

When the guard heard the word of the face on the door he stared at me wide eyed. I could see there was deep admiration in his eyes.

Of course you must admire one as great as I. I am a distanced master with an almighty wife, it is a matter of fact for you to worship me.

He wordlessly bowed in my direction before he walked towards the door and opened it up.

“Tch. The scammer is still scamming.”

There was of course a certain bimbo who couldn’t understand my greatness though.

When the door opened up, behind it was a man sitting on a chair attached to the back of door. His face was resting on a hole made in the door.

Everyone squeezed through the small gap between the back of the chair and the door frame.

That five year old is really going to be great one day.

Is this not just modern slavery?

Well he is getting paid at least.

Nobody said anything and everyone just acted like they saw nothing.

The three stooges were giggling though.

We walked down a narrow passageway and when we reached the end, what came into view was a fork in the path which branched off to the right and left.

The guard took out his phone again. I was curious, so I walked over to him and looked over his shoulder.

I saw as he clicked on an app called “G*ogle Maps (dungeon maze version).”

When I looked up into his eyes I saw the blatant despair deep within.

“You’ve got it hard my friend.”

He broke down into tears so I pat his back and said, “it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Do you know how tiring it is? Do you?! That brat is driving me crazy! The director who dotes on her and complies to any of her wishes, do you have any idea how many times I have dreamt of slapping them silly?”

“You’re doing your best. Don’t worry, I’m sure all the prisoners appreciate your effort.”

It seems his harsh behaviour was because he had his own troubles. He just wanted to vent the frustrations deep within his heart.

“Really? Are you really sure they understand?”

“Yes. I understand your pain my friend.”

“You’re not a bad guy. What’s your name?”

“My name is San. Just San.”

“Well San, my name here is Bob. Just Bob.”

I felt a bit confused when I heard that. When I looked at him, I suddenly understood.

“You don’t need to ask. Of course it was that brat’s idea.”

I know I’ve said it many times already, but that kid is definitely going to be someone great.

I asked no more and he lead the way for us. He took us deep within the maze where we came across a red table with an old lady in a red robe with a red crystal ball.

The guard stared at the old lady with dead fish eyes and tried to just walk right past her without a single word.

The old lady grabbed his hand and said, “don’t act like I don’t exist! This is my job!”

“I saw nothing. You don’t exist.”

“Brat, sit your butt down and accept my divination.”

The guard begrudgingly sat down on the chair opposite to the old woman who played the role of a fortune teller.

“To pass this point you must solve a riddle.”

“What are you talking about? The map says it’s that way.”

“The map is a liar.”

“What are you talking about you old hag? It has never been wrong before!”

“Well, the young miss decided the maze was too boring and made a few changes recently.”

“Ugh.”

“I don’t get paid enough for this crap. Hurry up and get it over with already. What’s the stupid riddle?”

“I turn polar bears white

And I will make you cry

I make guys have to pee…”

Before she could finish I interrupted and said, “the answer is time.”

“What?! You brat! How can you know the answer before I finish the riddle?!”

Of course I couldn’t answer and tell her I was asked this riddle in kindergarten, so I just stood there with deep eyes like I was one who had withstood the vicissitudes of life and corrosion of time.

“”Tch. Poser trying to act cool.””

It looked like the bimbo found a comrade in the old woman.

When will these people understand my greatness? Whatever, let the mortals be blinded by their inability to see Mount Tai when it is right before their eyes.

I swished my sleeve confidently and motioned towards the guard, whose eyes sparkled with utmost reverence, to keep leading us. I had once again effortlessly crushed that child’s game effortlessly.

“Venerable master is so cool.”

I heard little Han absentmindedly mutter that while we continued on our way.

This is really getting exhausting though. Can we just reach our destination already? I don’t like long walks of the beach, what makes you think I like long walks in mazes?

After proceeding deeper into the maze we came across another table. The table was green and had a green crystal ball on it.

You know, what is the point in the stupid crystal ball anyways? It’s not like the old lady used it. Actually, now that I look closer, isn’t this the same old lady? She was now wearing a green robe, but it was definitely her, right?

“Old hag, what now?”

The guard was clearly not amused.

“What are you talking about? This is the first time we have met young dungeon dwellers.”

“Stop messing around! You just changed your red robe out for a green one. Do you think I’m blind?!”

“Oh! You must be talking about the red mage. However, I am the green mage though. We get people making such a mistake a lot you young brat.”

“You! I know it’s you!”

“It is not.”

“You think looking the other way and playing ignorant is going to cut it?”

“Young travellers, you must solve this puzzle.”

“You’re ignoring me old hag? Hah?!”

“Shut it you brat. I’m just doing what I’m paid to do.”

When I looked over at the puzzle I saw it was just a piece of paper with nine dots on it. There were three columns and three rows of three dots.

The paper said, “connect all the dots with only four straight lines without lifting your hand from the paper.”

The three stooges who saw it took an interest and tried to figure it out, but they were always unsuccessful.

The guard was frowning and even he didn’t seem to have an answer to the puzzle.

No matter how they drew lines to connect the dots there was always one dot left unconnected.

Even little Han was perplexed and unable to figure it out. He looked at me trying to discern if I knew the answer.

Of course I knew the answer, but I felt it was time to be a true master and guide these young children on the correct path.

I opened my mouth and said in a deep voice, “one must not be bound by the box. One must look outside the box for the solution.”

When I said that to little Han, he put on an expression of deep contemplation and he stared daggers at the puzzle before him.

He started mumbling, “outside the box. Outside the box. Do not be bound by the box? Does that mean with a narrow perspective you will miss the solution right in front of your eyes?”

After several minutes passed by, little Han’s cloudy eyes brightened up and it appeared he had discovered the trick to the puzzle.

He took the pen on the table and drew one line that crossed over three dots on the left most column, but he didn’t stop there and the line continued one row further up. He stopped at that point then drew a straight line downward at a forty five degree angle to the right which connected two more dots. He continued the line past the second row and stopped at the third row. He then drew a straight line to the left and stopped at the dot in the first column. Finally he drew the final line upwards to the right at a forty five degree angle.

The puzzle was solved. Four lines connected all the dots.

As soon as that happened, the crystal ball emitted a blinding flash of white light that left everyone blinded momentarily.

After the flash of light the old lady with the green robe disappeared.

All that was left was a note on the table that said correct.

After that the guard sighed in relief and lead us forward once again.

After several more twists and turns in the maze… a blue table came before our eyes.

Sitting by the table was a familiar old lady with a blue robe. There was naturally a blue crystal ball on the table as well.

“This better be the last time!”

“Oh? Have we met before stinky brat? I am the blue mage. Did you maybe meet the red and green mage before me? Please don’t mistake me for them you brain dead incompetent guard who can’t even beat a child in solving a simple puzzle. Well this is the last time, maybe you can redeem yourself from the failure of being dumber than a fifth grader.”

“Old hag, just get it over with!”

“Tch.”

“This time the challenge is to explain how one can always win when counting to one hundred against another person. Two people alternate between picking a number one through ten. You then add the number the person says to the total. The first person to bring the sum to one hundred wins. The little miss has lost against her father every time and has never won and wants to know why she cannot win.”

Yeah, this little girl will definitely be someone great. When you can’t figure it out, have other people figure it out and explain the solution to you.

The solution is actually really easy. It looks like the cultivators didn’t get it though. They’re probably too busy cultivating to think about math problems after all.

Little Han was in deep thought, but it was clear he was not getting anywhere anytime soon.

I knew the answer to this problem as well, but answering every question would be boring.

Instead of eagerly jumping the gun and answering like the honour student I was, I remained silent and waited for someone else to solve the problem this time.

A distanced master can’t always be gung ho to answer the question, we must let the youngsters have their time to shine.

While I had such thoughts I heard a cough from the direction of the crown prince who was silent the entire time since reaching here. Perhaps he was too arrogant to bless us with his words of wisdom.

Beside the crown prince was an old beggar like man who only a 2nd realm mortal. He strut his stuff and said with a refined expression, much unlike your average beggar would have towards the crown prince, “he who strikes first wins the battle, the key to the question is 11. He who laughs last laughs the longest.”

This guy…

The first part is clearly about the answer to the question. He said that part directed towards the crown prince, while he said the second part while looking towards me.

I felt like I stepped in dog shit when I understood his meaning.

That old beggar like man was definitely like me. Putting on an act. He clearly saw me posing earlier and decided to get the last laugh by solving this final problem.

Damn it! I should have just solved it.

It was too late though, the crown prince seemed to understand right away after hearing the old beggar’s words.

He then said, “whoever picks the first number is guaranteed to win as long as they follow a certain rule.”

“All they need to do is pick their next number such that sum will become a number in the following series: 12. 23, 34, 45, 56, 67, 78, 89. There is a difference of 11 between each number in the sequence. If the first number they pick is one, regardless of what number the next person picks the person who went first is guaranteed victory.”

When little Han heard that, he opened his eyes wide in enlightenment and said, “so that’s how it is. Who knew such depth could be hidden in such a simple problem. This truly is a trial by fire after all. Thus, he who laughs last laughs longest because they were the fool clown for going last. The first to strike wins.”

No, I think you’re way off on that last part.

That last part was definitely just aimed at me. That old clown just wanted to rub it in my face that he got to take the glory at the very end for solving the last question all in his attempt to make himself look better than me. I ingrained that beggar’s face in the deep recesses of my mind for payback at a later date.

After the old man finished giving voice to the solution a loud shout echoed out from the crystal ball.

“Father you no good cheater! No wonder you always won!”

“Eh? What is this all about my little darling?”

“Father you always went first and picked one as your first number. I knew there was something fishy about it!”

“Damn it! Who ratted me out? Who was it?! I’ll definitely make their days hell. Owowow! my daughter please let go!”

After that the voices cut out.

So that’s what the point of those crystal balls were. That little girl was watching the show the entire time for her amusement through a camera hidden inside it.

Isn’t she already too great? Is she really going to become an even greater person in the future?

When I looked back over to the old man I saw there were beads of cold sweat that dripped down his forehead. A frown was plastered all over his pale face.

I couldn’t stop the grin that grew on my own face. I smiled at him brilliantly, cupped my hand in thanks and nodded towards him.

Thanks buddy, I don’t know who you are, but you really saved me from trouble this time. I’ll make sure to return the favor one day.

When he saw my thanks his face contorted like he had eaten a fly and stepped in some truly rancid dog shit.

According to my wife I am a fortunate man. Did you really think a beggar could one up a man with fortune as vast as mine?

“Little Han, take note, he who laughs last laughs longest. Although you interpretation might not necessarily be wrong in certain circumstances. There is another interpretation, he who laughs last laughs longest because he won in the end. It is not always he who strikes first wins. That is a fallacy which one should not be naive enough to so easily fall for. The reason for my silence this time was for that very reason. You see that beggar over there? Don’t become one who talks big and runs their mouth only to stub your toe on the rock at the side of the road.”

In the end little Han acknowledged there was more to things that met the eye, while I managed to maintain my dignity as the true distanced from the mortal world master.

All’s well that ends well.