Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 73 Chapter 72.

(POV Sanji)

Since my little avatar wife was taking her fine time getting dressed and I was bored, I took some time to browse through the system shop to see if there was anything I could do to pass the time. Somehow I had managed to accumulate 24562 LP.

I was a real miser and wanted to save up as much as possible for when the really good items were made available in the shop. But that was when I thought of something. A lot of good items in the shop can actually be made if I take the time to learn how to make them.

Luckily, there was a category in the shop called educational material. Over the last week I had already glanced at this section and selected a few things here and there at random. When I opened it up and examined it more closely, I only now realized just how many different sub categories there really were. There were so many I didn’t know which to choose from. There were things ranging from books to spice up your love life from my world to books on alchemy from the world of cultivation.

There was, of course, a sub category marked as forbidden as well. When I opened it up, I understood right away the meaning behind it. My wife is a considerate woman after all. Yes, a very considerate woman.

It was truly a section for the sake of science. What a perfect wife. How can such a perfect wife who truly cares for their husband’s health like her exist?

I’ll save that for later when I’m alone though. There was presently a little five year old girl in a pink one piece still sleeping soundly on my lap after all.

When I looked through all the subcategories, I figured I’d start from the beginning and work my way up as I go along. In the “A” section, the one I took note of the most was naturally alchemy. How can one be a cultivator and never concoct a pill? My life would not be complete if I did not learn this skill.

I checked all the beginner alchemy books and one book in particular was very eye catching. It was listed on every page I went through as the very first result. It said it was a hot item that was presently on a blow out sale. It felt like a paid advertisement, but I went along with it anyways since the 100 LP price had a line through it with a big 1 LP was written in bright red right beneath the normal price.

When I saw the author for this one, I understood the reasoning right away. Well, it was written by a lower realm god, it should definitely be of high quality, right? Besides, it’s not like I recognized any of the other authors. Who knows, their names may be deceptive and completely misleading. There were a few written by “Alchemy God”, “Edward the Full Metal Chemistry Teacher”, “The Alchemist whose Pill gave birth to a Realm” and many more. There were all sorts of ridiculous names floating about, so much so that I didn’t know who to believe in. Thus I settled for something much closer to home.

“Alchemy for Dummies.”

It was something easy to understand. My wife seemed to be quite influenced by my realm, I even felt a bit happy that she would put this kind of attention to detail.

If my wife invested such effort to put this together for me, I really mustn’t disappoint her.

Perhaps had I chosen a different book, maybe things would have turned out differently in the future. Too bad I was a miser and only looked at what was most cost effective. Perhaps my wife understood this quirk which was why things turned out the way they did.

If I knew now how much trouble pill concocting was, maybe I would have given up sooner. However, her book was perfect for a beginner. I could tell she had tailored and fine crafted it specifically for me.

I couldn’t help but wonder, when did she find the time to put this together?

The first introductory sentence read, “My dear husband, alchemy is just chemistry from your world combined with cultivation techniques.”

That one sentence had me marvel at how simple it all was. I read on and soon understood more and more about the concepts and theories behind alchemy.

Her explanations were all simple and to the core. She brilliantly pointed out everything of utmost importance. It felt like she took a strainer and filtered the knowledge through it over and over again until only the finest essence remained.

“If you can understand and manipulate the laws of the world and understand chemistry, you can become a true master in alchemy.” It felt like the most suitable line for a book called “Alchemy for Dummies.”

“Alchemy is nothing but trial and error. Once you understand the chemical makeup of the ingredients you can easily determine the correct proportions needed to reach your desired end result.”

“It is as simple as building a puzzle one piece at a time. Each process and ingredient simply adds a piece of the puzzle to the bigger picture.”

“Do not be overwhelmed by how vast the field is and the number of different permutations that exist. Approach it as you would a scientist, methodically eliminate problems one by one until you reach your desired end product.”

“Even the most complex formula can be broken down and simplified into simple sub components.”

There were also many different common beginner herbs and cutesy descriptions left by my wife regarding their properties and uses.

“If you mix this and this together your realm will go boom.”

My wife, that’s definitely a good point to note, but just how did you learn about this point? Maybe it’s best if I don’t know. Also, aren’t we starting a bit too high level here? Make the realm go boom? Shouldn’t we start small and work our way up the explosion scale? Isn’t making the realm go boom a ten? Can’t we maybe start at make the planet go boom? That should be a one on your scale of explosions, right?

“This one here can increase stamina when mixed with this other herb that I forgot the name of. You’ll know what herb it is when you see it though.”

Ah, yes, such cute descriptions. Please at least remember the names of the herbs my wife.

“This one herb, I think it was called ‘My Johnson Vanished,’ is known to really spice things up in the bedroom. For some reason it is a herb highly recommended by father.”

Yes my wife, that would definitely spice up one’s love life. Your father is a caring person as well my wife.

She mentioned a lot of things to be careful and wary of when concocting pills. She really made everything look as simple as 1+1=2.

Like hell she did. If anything, these descriptions left me more scared than anything.

I really started to suspect whether my wife was actually an alchemy grand master with how impressive her extensive alchemy knowledge was.

At least that is what I wish I could say.

After reading up to a certain point I realized I had lost myself in her book for a bit over twenty minutes. When I looked back up I noticed the avatar version of my wife was looking at me curiously.

Seeing as she reminded me of my wife, I couldn’t help but smile at her. There was a strange happiness within me when I thought about the effort my wife went through to tailor this introductory guide into alchemy just for me.

It definitely wasn’t a self deprecating smile or a smile of resigning oneself to one’s fate.

But was the reason she took off so I’d focus on my cultivation again? Now that I think about it, the deadline is getting closer for that particular bet. Luckily I was already pretty close to the goal and over the last week I managed to inadvertently break through to become an 8th realm semi transcendent.

I still didn’t understand why my cultivation was skyrocketing like this, but I was definitely not complaining. The less work the better. Hard work is for MCs like little Han.

Speaking of little Han, I haven’t seen that little brat for a full week now. I wonder just what that unfilial child is up to. Of course I can’t actively seek him out, that would be unbecoming of a venerable master like me.

As for my sister, over the past week I instructed her on her cultivation. I purchased a few books from the system shop at my wife’s recommendation a few days ago and handed them over to her. Of course I read through them to make sure they were suitable. Even if she was my wife, I shouldn’t blindly trust her, I’ve learned I must still doubt my wife on occasions. Blind trust is a dangerous thing, she’s taught me that lesson the hard way after all.

I, of course, discussed the techniques with my wife through texts to get a better understanding of them so I could keep up the appearance of a mighty cultivator in front of my big sister.

Things were strange though, my big sister was definitely a very perceptive person. Yet I found she constantly looked for me and always asked me questions about cultivation that I was sure she would be able to understand herself. Sometimes there were even questions I had already answered.

Thanks to the little girl on my lap pulling some strings, I managed to make sure my sister was placed in the same prison cell as me.

I say prison cell, but this was definitely not a normal prison cell. They were the best ones available in the Toddlepant ward.

When I looked at the other cells there were several rooms where prisoners were grouped together. There were many rooms with four or more men crammed together. The testosterone levels were definitely through the roof. If my sister was to stay in one of those I would really be concerned and unable to sleep at night.

Although a different problem arose that left me with a few sleepless nights.

It wasn’t the fact that my sister would sleep walk and crawl into the same bed as me in the middle of the night. Rather than that, it was the killing intent I felt that had locked onto me from god knows where.

My wife, I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! My sister has always been a bad sleeper who can’t stand the cold. Whenever it was winter, she would unconsciously make her way to my room and steal my blanket in the middle of the night. Often times she would inadvertently kick me off the bed and I would find myself on the cold hard floor in the middle of the night with my sisters foot hanging off the bed and planted on my face.

Maybe she didn’t do the same now because she was somehow a bit conscious of the fact that I was actually a stranger. Her hugging me in the middle of the night and using me as a body pillow was definitely just because she disliked the cold. There’s no deeper meaning my wife, so can you please stop radiating killing intent from whatever god forsaken place you are presently at?

There were a few other unnatural things about my big sister though. The fact that she was completely fine with it when she woke up next to a stranger every morning and only said, “good morning” was far too bizarre. She’s also been doing things like cooking meals for me and the little girl. Though what really scared me the most was when she mumbled ‘I love you” while she was asleep and using me as a body pillow. My wife’s killing intent surrounding me would usually sky rocket whenever big sister mumbled things like that in her sleep.

But did big sister actually find someone she loves while I wasn’t looking? My expressionless uncaring big sister really loves someone? Nah, it couldn’t be, right?

“Excuse me.”

Speak of the devil.

“You’re back?”

“Uh. Mm.”

The gap was really to big when I compared the big sister in front of me to the big sister in my memories. My big sister was never like this before; for her to only meekly nod her head in front of me like this, something had to be wrong.

Her normal response was usually, “no shit I’m back, are you blind? Do you need me to take you to a doctor to get it checked out?”

Or, “would I be standing here if I wasn’t back?”

It always used to be words that stung me, but right now she was acting so weird.

“Are you feeling okay? There’s nothing wrong with you is there? You’re not feeling sick or anything, right?”

“I’m perfectly fine. There’s no problems with the cultivation technique you taught me. I’ve even broken through to become a 6th realm mortal thanks to your guidance.”

Who are you and what have you done to my big sister? Is this what happens to a woman in love? Honestly even I’m starting to get the wrong idea by this point.

Could it really be as my wife had suggested? No way, right? But it’s true that I’m not her little brother right now. Did she actually fall for the disguised me after all? Like that would ever happen. It felt like if I didn’t deny it, things would get awkward.

It’s probably her cooking for me because she’s grateful I’m guiding her in her cultivation and she is just trying to pay me back in her own way. The whole “I love you” thing is probably just the type of love for one’s teacher. The reason she’s not showing her sadistic personality is just because she’s showing respect towards someone she considers to be a master like figure.

That’s definitely the reason behind he unusual behaviour.

Anyways, for my sisters happy future I need to find a way to hook her up with that crown prince. If she marries into royalty she can live an easy life.

That can wait for later though.

“San what is that?”

“Oh this? Nothing much. It’s just a pill furnace.”

I hid the Alchemy for Dummies book behind my back so she wouldn’t realize I was a complete beginner.

“You’re an alchemist?”

“Of course I am. I’m actually a renowned grandmaster in the world of alchemy. You may have heard of the name Alchemy God, right? Well, he’s my disciple.”

(POV Alchemy God)

“Achoo.”

“Blood? Am I sick? Scary. I better get myself checked.”

(POV Sanji)

“Alchemy God? Never heard of him.”

“Well that’s to be expected, this realm is out in the boonies after all.”

“Realm?”

“Oh, right, you probably don’t understand.”

“That kid right now is probably still working hard trying to get recognized by others in the upper realms.”

(POV Alchemy God)

“Cough. Cough. Cough.”

“Holy crap, what’s with all this blood? I really need to stop pulling these thousand year all nighters trying to craft that pill to help Sen Kami break through. The fatigue must be catching up with me.”

(POV Sanji)

“Upper realms?”

“Yes, in the upper realms. Since you probably don’t understand I will explain it to you young lady. The realm you are in is called a mortal realm which consists of the universe you know of. This realm is considered to be the weakest of all the realms. However, the one thing your realm has going for it despite being the weakest is advanced technology. However, technology by itself can only go so far. The limits of human technology will probably only ever reach the strength to handle a lower god. Above that there is still the middle god realm, upper god realm, true god realm, realm god.

“Oh. I see. San, what realm of strength are you at?”

“That’s a secret.”

“Then what are the upper realms above the mortal realms like?”

Crap, like I actually know that. I spent barely any time in the upper realm when my wife first took me to meet her father.

“Well, they are very different.”

I was forced to put on an all knowing face and spout some made up lines that I thought sounded correct.

“The laws in each realm is controlled by the realm gods.”

“But there is one upper realm god in specific who set certain absolute laws that cannot be overturned by any other realm gods. That certain upper realm god happens to be my father.”

In law. I didn’t want to say it, since it would make me feel weak in front of my big sister, like I was just a hanger on of my wife. Although that was the truth.

“Cough.”

Eh blood?

“Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah. It happens from time to time. It’s just expelling impurities from my body.”

“I see.”

(POV Sen Kami)

“This damn brat. How many lies are you going to spout to that big sister of yours?”

“Husband, she is technically our daughter in law.”

“Just because our daughter is away from son in law, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to secretly spy on him.”

“What are you talking about, this is just making sure he doesn’t get into trouble.”

“Husband, that’s not very convincing when you are hammering a nail into a voodoo doll that looks like our son in law onto a cross.”

“This is just a ritual I discovered from his realm that is to wish for one’s good health.”

“Eh? Really?”

“Of course. Would I ever lie to you?”

My wife’s expression turned cold the moment I said that and retorted back, “what about the time you said you had returned the pigs you stole from me when in fact you just gave me some crappy ones from some random kid you stole from?”

“I never lied. I returned the same number of pigs I stole. Whether they were the same ones have nothing to do with me. It’s not like I keep track of every pig I plunder in game. Besides that, haven’t we been enjoying that new game we found recently? Let bygones be bygones.”

“Just because the new VR racing game is cool, doesn’t erase the fact you never returned my original pigs!”

“Tch. They’re probably long dead and eaten already. Why are you crying over spilt milk? Just forget about the stupid pigs already.”

Ai’s face turned pale when she heard my words.

She lifted a trembling finger towards me a screamed, “you savage beast! You chopped them up and watched them with their cute little beady eyes as they trembled in their little piggy boots waiting for their death, didn’t you?! You’re just a sick monster! My husband, I don’t even know what you’ve become anymore! How could you step so far off of the righteous path? Do you even have a heart?”

When I saw my wife’s tears I felt a strange mixed emotion deep in my heart. It was a feeling along the lines of, “what the hell so wrong with you” and “it’s just a game, right?” It was truly a mix of bafflement and confoundedness.

“I’m not talking to you from now on. No sex either. Hmmp.”

Eh? Isn’t that fine? There’s this thing called porn in son in laws world. It’s a pretty useful and convenient thing. I don’t even need to take a step outside of my room to go to a brothel. Plus, thanks to the VR technology from the facility son in law is in, the porn is even more impressive.

“Husband, if I catch you watching porn, I’ll file for a divorce.”

It was only now I started breaking out into sweat when I realized all avenues of retreat were being cut off. As a war god, I am naturally a bit promiscuous. Whenever my wife says no sex, it can end up lasting billions of years. One time it was a dry spell so long that I did something that almost got myself killed. That would be the time with the goddess of seduction that my daughter blackmailed me with. My wife still has not found out, but if she did, I’d be a dead man walking. Of course I almost died back then for a completely different reason. Overexertion. That woman is truly a master of her craft.

But, I can’t take a risk like that again.

“My wife, I’m sorry, I was wrong. It’s my fault, please forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive you if you stop spying on our son in law and get rid of that stupid voodoo doll.”

“I can stop spying, but the voodoo doll stays.”

“Maybe billions aren’t enough, how about a trillion this time?”

“Oh, where did this fire appear from? Oh no, the voodoo doll is burning up. Whatever shall I do?”

“Husband, what are you doing?!”

She conjured up a bucket of water and tossed the voodoo doll inside it.

“Tsk.”

“Are you trying to kill him?”

“Of course not, this voodoo doll can’t go that far. Our daughter would hate me if I actually did that.”

“Really, stop messing around with our son in law like this.”

“Fine.”

After conceding to my wife we left the voodoo doll in the bucket off to one side and started playing video games to pass the time.