Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 74 Chapter 73.

(POV Sanji)

Ugh. What’s with this situation?

I was perfectly fine one moment, but now I can hardly breathe. What’s going on? Is my big sister in front of me the cause for this breathless state?

Shortly after I coughed up blood in front of my big sister I broke into an uncontrollable sweat. It felt like I was being burned alive. I really thought I was going to die.

My big sister noticed my strange state and came over to check my temperature and found that I was burning up..

With her so close to my face I found it a bit ironic I was breathless like this. Damnit, I’m not breathless because of my big sister’s beautiful face or anything! I literally couldn’t breathe at all and for some reason I suddenly felt a freezing cold sensation across my entire body like I were drowning in ice cold water. It was the same sensation as the time I was underwater with my wife.

Shit, if this keeps up I feel like something terrible is going to happen. Is this some sort of divine retribution? Am I actually going to die like this?

With my present level of strength I can survive for a few hours without oxygen, but if this goes on for too long, I’ll definitely die.

“What’s wrong San?! You’re not breathing at all.”

I picked up a piece of paper and pen and wrote out, “I’ve run into a bit of trouble in my cultivation, I’ll need some time to myself. Please leave for now. Please also take this girl with you.”

“Your face is so pale, are you really going to be alright?”

I wrote out, “don’t worry, I’ll be fine. It happens all the time.”

“Okay, but promise me you’ll find me if you need any help.”

I just nodded towards her and handed over the little girl who was still sleeping soundly on my lap.

She held the her in both arms and walked out of the room with a worried look on her face.

Ugh. Now, just what has happened? Why can I not breathe? Did I enrage the heavens by summoning lightning as a party trick for the little girl too many times?

Maybe it was the time I called the heavens my incompetent little brother? Could it be the Alchemy God I just took on as a random disciple? Was it my lie about being an alchemy grand master? Maybe it was the lie about being Sen Kami’s blood related son. It could even be my wife having a fit of jealousy. Damn, there’s too many things I’ve done that would enrage powerful people, isn’t there?

Maybe I should keep my big mouth shut from now on, or at the very least tone down my boasting a notch.

What do I do? What do I do? If I don’t think of something soon, I’m definitely going to die, right?

I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could use to help me at least breathe. Of course there wasn’t, it’s a prison cell after all. It may be the best room in the ward that had a bed, computer, television, a strange pod and several other things you would expect from a fancy hotel, but there appeared to be nothing here that could help me breathe.

It was only when my eyes landed on the pill furnace in front of me that I had an idea. I opened up the beginners book my wife had written and flipped through the pages. After some time spent searching, I found it. It was a pill that allowed one to breathe underwater for a day.

Once I looked through the required ingredients in the recipe, I opened up the system shop to buy the ones that I didn’t have and hurriedly sorted them out into bundles. This was a matter of life and death for me, I couldn’t afford to mess up. I knew I could just text my wife and ask for help, but that’s a last resort. I can’t be a man who relies on his wife for every little problem I face. I’d really like to solve the problem myself this time.

Wait, why don’t I just buy the pill instead. I opened up the system shop again and keyed in “Breath of Fresh Air Pill” in the search box. When it popped up I saw the price was 5,000 LP.

Are you kidding me?! It’s way too expensive for a damn consumable! I opened up the system avatar app and wrote out, “isn’t this just highway robbery?! Can’t you make it cheaper?”

“Hmmp! Pervert husband, serves you right! As of now it’s 30,000 LP.”

I should have just kept my mouth shut. Well, I did keep my mouth shut, I wrote it out after all.

Haaaaah. Of course, I thought of just using an tank of oxygen to breathe, but that wasn’t a cost effective solution. At most, the oxygen tank would last a few hours, but I’d have to keep buying them and if this state keeps up, I’d easily run out of LP. The problem was really duration. In the end it appeared I was stuck with concocting it after all. Making the pill itself was by far the more cost effective solution with how cheap the ingredients were.

Ah. It was only now I realized I didn’t know any fire cultivation techniques. I doubt I have enough time to learn anything tedious like that though so I looked through the system shop’s miscellaneous section. After some time searching I found the things I needed. A bunsen burner, a portable gas cartridge and a stand to place the pill furnace on top of. It cost me 1100 LP for everything. I got five Bunsen burners and five portable gas cartridges. I placed the pill furnace on top the stand and positioned the five Bunsen burners connected to the gas cartridges beneath it in a square shape with one at the center.

I really felt like it was all just a joke though. It really felt like modern world chemistry met alchemy. Whatever, desperate times call for desperate measures.

I started up my ghetto alchemy session by adjusting the bunsen burners to the appropriate temperature indicated in the recipe. My wife indicated to preheat the furnace to the optimal temperature before placing any herbs or ingredients in.

While I preheated the pill furnace I started the prepare the herbs and ingredients one by one.

Let’s see, “peel off the outer layer of the Summerscoming Herb and Springshere Herb and place them directly into the center of the pill furnace. After that… meh, just randomly toss in all the other ingredients one by one when you think it’s the right time, then cover the lid and wait five minutes and you’re done.”

No no no. Please don’t give me that lazy half assed description here my wife! My life is on the line!

What do I do? What do I do? No, actually, what else can I really do? She didn’t even mention the order after the first two herbs. I’ve got to just wing it like she said then?

I want to cry, I really want to cry. Why did I choose this book out of all of them? Is my death going to be caused by my frugality? Is it a crime to be a thrifty husband?

I opened up the system shop and to my horror all the beginner books on alchemy presently said sold out.

What do you mean sold out?! System are you messing with me?! When I opened up the system avatar app she just glanced at me and turned away with a “Hmmp!”

I get I saw you naked, but you’re supposed to be the avatar of my wife, right? Isn’t it fine if I see you naked?

Whatever, no help from the system this time. I can only trust in my luck. My wife said I was a very fortunate person, surely that luck can save my life. I really felt like a gambler putting all his money on lady luck right now, but there was nothing else I could do.

I looked through each page to confirm the properties and uses of each of the ten herbs required in the recipe and after some time had passed I somewhat had a general idea of what each one did.

Luckily I had some guesses as to how the pill was supposed to work now. It was basically compressing oxygen to a solid, clustered, and compact state. When you put it into your mouth it will break apart into smaller components like sand. You then need to breathe it in and allow it to flow into your lungs. Over time it will decompress slowly and release gaseous oxygen from directly within your lungs. It then flows through your bloodstream and is delivered to the rest of your body.

Unlike how solid oxygen is normally formed, this process is made possible through alchemic techniques.

When I understood the chemical makeup of each of the ingredients I vaguely understood what my wife meant. The only really important step in the whole process was the beginning and end. The first two and last two herbs put in were key to the concoction process. After the first two, if I knew the order to toss in the remaining eight herbs, I just needed to throw them in as soon as each one was completely used up.

Following my instincts I went along with my guts and threw in the eight herbs one at a time as they were used up. There was only one problem, I was able to figure out the order for the majority of the herbs, but for the last two herbs, I really wasn’t sure which one would go first. They were both herbs that were involved in creating the final product.

One was for creating packets of finely compressed oxygen while the other would create a solid lattice structure that upon contact with saliva would break apart easily into its smaller packets. If I messed up the order for these two, I’m sure it’d be a troublesome situation. I could find someone to act as a lab rat, but I’ve significantly cut my time short due to everything I was doing. I might not be able to make it long enough to make a second batch.

The shortened time was thanks to several factors such as overuse of my brain to analyze everything as fast as possible. Concentration on the concocting process, moving about to prepare ingredients, along with my accelerated heart rate were all factors that also significantly increased my oxygen consumption.

Since I was damned if I did it and damned if I didn’t, I threw caution to the wind, closed my eyes and randomly picked one to put in first. After that I waited until it fully dissolved and threw in the final herb and covered the pill furnace. I waited five minutes as my wife instructed. It was really the longest five minutes of my life. Not even watching an episode of P*ngu in the City would leave me suffering for as long as this.

Calm down me, I’m sure if I mess up, things will somehow work out anyways.

After five minutes passed I opened up the lid of the pill furnace and ten beautiful solid, colourless but cloudy looking pills were presented before my eyes. The surface of the pill wasn’t smooth but rather granular instead.

I picked up a pill and examined it closer, but I really had no way to determine if this was a success or failure. The only thing I could do right now was test it. I could tell I was already running low on oxygen and definitely didn’t have enough time to make another batch. If things don’t work out I’ll just have to go with plan B. Text my wife and beg for help like a good little boy.

I tossed a pill into my mouth and when it came into contact with the saliva in my mouth, it crumbled to pieces. It was only now I realized a point I hadn’t thought of before. I had no way to inhale it and bring it into my lungs. I could only swallow right now, meaning it would end up in my stomach which was useless. To begin with, if I could inhale, I wouldn’t be in this trouble to begin with.

That was when I had a really stupid idea. Those portable gas cartridges I purchased were perfect for this, weren’t they?

I disconnected two of the tubes from the Bunsen burner and inserted them into my nose. Kids, don’t try this at home. I’m not kidding. I repeat, do not try this at home. These are chemicals that are flammable. It may be fine to breathe them in at low concentrations, but high concentrations will naturally displace the oxygen in your lungs. The only reason I can do this is because I’ll be inhaling highly concentrated oxygen at the same time.

In case any gods that happened to be watching me wondered why I didn’t just buy an oxygen tank, I’m a frugal and thrifty man after all. If it’s in hand and can accomplish the same task, I will use it. Got a problem? Bite me.

I tossed a second pill in my mouth as insurance and it quickly dissolved inside my mouth. I turned the lever on the cartridge slowly and allowed the gas to flow into my lungs while moving the contents inside my mouth towards the back of my throat to be dragged along into my lungs.

Thankfully everything went as planned, once my mouth was empty I turned off the gas and took out the rubber tubing. I exhaled the methane gas that had filled my lungs. I was still unable to breathe in, but I could still breathe out. My condition was truly bizarre though, it all just happened out of nowhere. At least I should be safe for now though.

That was what I thought. Yes, that was what I really thought since everything had gone so well. However, five minutes later my vision turned dark and I felt light headed. In fear that I had failed, I pulled out my phone and sent a text with the last bit of energy I had. I texted my wife what I could before I lost consciousness.

‘Venerable Master San: SOS’

(POV Shina)

It’s been two hours since I left the room, but I’m still concerned about his condition. I haven’t heard a thing from San since I left. I’m really worried and anxious, but why is that? We’ve only known each other for about a week. Is it because he reminds me of my little brother?

Once it reached the two hour mark, I couldn’t hold myself back any more. I snuck over to the room we shared and slightly opened the door wide enough for me to see inside.

What I saw made my face turn pale. San was on the ground with his head facing the ceiling and his arms resting on his chest. I couldn’t see any movement from him, it appeared he wasn’t breathing and he really looked like he was dead. His pale face further convinced me that was the case.

I ran into the room and bent down next to him to check his heart beat. It was still beating and he was still warm. It was just that he wasn’t breathing. But if he doesn’t breathe won’t he die? Although he is supposedly a mighty cultivator, he probably doesn’t need oxygen, does he?

What if on the off chance he does though? What do I do? Do I call for help? This is a prison though, would they really care to help a prisoner? That little girl could probably help, but I don’t know where she went. Fifteen minutes after I left the room, she went off somewhere else to play when I told her San was busy and requested to not be disturbed.

What about artificial respiration? When I looked at his lips I felt my body heat up a bit. What am I thinking, it’s to save a life. There’s no deeper meaning. He’s just somebody who happens to look slightly similar to my little brother.

Ahhhhh! What am I doing acting like a Virgin Mary right now? I’ve kissed other women before and this isn’t even a kiss, it’s saving a life. Yes, it’s just saving a life. San has been good to me all this time and taught and guided me on my cultivation. He even provided a cultivation technique that suited me well. He even helped me quickly breakthrough twice.

I straddled on top of his body. It’s not that I’m taking advantage of the situation to act out a sadistic play or anything. I’m just doing this because it’s easier for me this way to deliver oxygen. Okay, it’s not easier at all, I admit it. It is just my personal preferences getting the better of me.

I moved my face closer to his and angled my head towards the side so I could seal his lips easier. I breathed out through our connected lips and felt his chest move up below me. I slightly parted our lips and pressed down the full weight of my body on top of of his chest to force the air out of his lungs. My heart was pounding uncontrollably and it felt like I had just crossed a certain line that I would never be able to return from.

It appeared he still wasn’t breathing though, so although my breathing was ragged I closed my eyes once again and sealed his lips and forced my heated breaths through our lips. Why is my heart beating so uncontrollably right now? Why does it feel so wrong, but feel so right?

What’s wrong with me right now? Is it because he looks a bit like my little brother? Does the idea of such a forbidden love really get my heart fluttering uncontrollably like this? Something must be wrong with my head right now. This is just helping someone breathe.

“Puhaaaa haaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa.”

“San, you’re really still not breathing? What’s wrong with you?”

I repeated the process of forcing air into his lungs and expelling the air out by pressing my body against his several dozen times, but no matter how many times I did it, he still did not breathe by himself. Could it be his diaphragm is paralyzed?

What do I do?! If that’s the case, then he really needs emergency medical treatment immediately! This is no time for me to be enjoying a passionate make out session with an unconscious soon to be dead man. Ugh, am I really that far gone of a pervert? No way, I’m not like Aoi. I’m really not!

At this point the only thing I could do was pray I could find that little girl. I got off of San and stood up, but noticed there was a slightly wet spot on his chest. Ugh, there’s no time to clean up right now, nor is it the time for me to have that switch flipped. I’ve got to find someone to treat him as soon as possible.

I ran out of the room to look for the little girl to request for her assistance.