Can I really keep my Goddess Wife to myself and away from all the Crazy OP MCs - 77 Chapter 76.

(POV Sen Kami)

Oh? What’s that noob doing spacing out over there for? There’ve been a bunch of noobs popping up recently, but that guy really takes the cake.

At least everyone else was intelligent enough to get into their vehicles.

I opened up the leaderboard and saw the name “San” placed dead last. First on the list was “Sen Kami.” Of course I was first, who do you think I am? However, recently there has been one noob in particular who has been giving me a run for my money. The nerve of these kids trying to take glory away from a war god. The name in second place was “Ten Jo.”

He’s been right on my ass every day lately. When I go offline for even a moment he manages to come in first place in all the races I’m not in. This kid is getting cockier lately and has been tailgating me every race. Of course, anytime he wants to pass me I’ll toss out a banana onto the race track directly in front of him.

Did your really think a lowly mortal like yourself could pass one who has mastered the art of banana tossing?

Occasionally I let him pass to get his hopes up just to crush his little dreams shortly after. As soon as he lets his guard down I let a big beautiful blue shell fly his way. Occasionally I’ll mix it up with a triple shot of green shells off the walls. The way I timed it was so the three shells would bounce in a manner where each time he was about to recover he would be hit by the successive shell.

It was truly a wondrous and masterful art that I wrote records of to pass down to my future descendants. Of course, my wife would rip and tear up the records in rage every time as she also suffered defeat time and time again at the hands of this forbidden art. It was truly the art of the devil when it came to infuriating naive little greenhorns.

They came into this virtual world with hopes and dreams of one day making a name for themselves, only to have them crushed by me while taking three green shells to the rear. I can’t remember the last time I felt so satisfied. It was probably only back in the days when I led my first war that I experienced such an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

Oh? I’m about to overlap the person in dead last. Wait. Something’s weird. What is that moron doing? Why is he going backwards? Can this guy not read the wrong way message on his screen? Is this San person an idiot?

Just as I passed him my face drained of all color. On the path behind him laid a banana peel positioned directly in front of my path. That little troll! He’s just a noob, but he wants to pull the wool over my eyes?! I managed to somehow just barely avoid the banana peel on the road and smugly looked behind me to taunt and jeer at him, but what came into my field of view as I turned around was green.

Green? Why? What is that?

Not able to process what just happened the world around me spun out of control. No way. This can’t be for real. I looked at the leaderboard only to see my name now positioned in third. San, whoever you are, I’ll remember this! Mark my words, you won’t live a good life! I’ll make sure to castrate you. Don’t even dream of having children!

It was already the last lap and we were right before the finish line. When I looked at who was presently in first place I grinded my teeth together as it was none other than that brat on the rise, “Ten Jo.”

Placed second was some other noob who I wasn’t familiar with. They probably just started playing along with the new batch of players who joined the game in the last week. How infuriating, I won’t even get second, but will get third and be placed right behind a complete noob?

You better hope we don’t meet in real life San. You can only pray that we don’t. If we do, the things I will do to you, you will wish you were dead. Don’t you dare enrage the war god Sen Kami you greenhorn brat.

(POV Ten Jo)

“Hahaha! I did it? I finally passed him and there are no green shells! It took a full week, but I’m finally the best! None can stand above the crown prince of the Celestial Empire! Eat my dust Sen Kami you old fart!”

While I was busy looking at the leaderboards and basking at my impending victory I didn’t bother to pay attention to the road. If only I had paid attention, maybe things would have turned out differently.

It was only when I noticed the scenery in the background spinning around me I noticed my name had disappeared from the leaderboard. No, rather than disappear it was now in the second position. The name that now occupied the first position right before I crossed the finish line was, “Shina Shika.”

The fire that had been lit in my chest at the thought of victory was suddenly drenched in an ice cold bucket of water. How could I have let the perfect victory slip out of my fingers like that?

Revenge… I must have a revenge match with her. The next race… I will definitely win, I cannot accept losing to a complete beginner! I’ve already surpassed Sen Kami, there is no way I cannot surpass some stupid noob with beginners luck.

After I crossed the finish line and stepped out I examined the vehicle the player in first was presently in. What came into view was a maiden wearing a pink dress. I really lost to a girly girl like this? Are you kidding me?

I walked over to her vehicle to talk smack while wearing an arrogant expression and said, “little girl, I challenge you to another race.”

She glanced at me wordlessly for a moment before she turned away and snubbed me.

“You’re not going to run away and decline my challenge like a coward are you?”

She turned towards me again with a cold expressionless face like some sort of ice princess. It was quite in contrast to the frilly pink dress she wore. When I looked directly into her eyes, it felt like I was staring into the eyes of a bottomless abyss. I didn’t see any of the joy one should have after coming out victorious in a race. What’s with this woman? Does she not feel the glory of coming in first?

(POV Shina)

This is so embarrassing! What is with this pink frilly dress?! Whose bright idea was it to dress me up in something that doesn’t suit me at all? Was it that little girl’s idea? You may like pink little girl, but I absolutely do not!

What’s with this delinquent anyways? Challenge me to another race? I just hurried to finish the race because I wanted to change out of this stupid frilly dress as soon as possible. How am I supposed to do that with this jerk staring daggers at me? Is he some kind of perverted lecher?

Let’s just ignore him, I’m in no mood to humour another random idiot trying to hit on me. I checked the map and found there was a changeroom in the building next to the finish line where I could change clothes. I got out of the car and headed towards the building to get out of this disgusting pink dress as soon as possible.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?! I’m a crown prince you know.”

What the hell? Do you know how many times I’ve heard that line when playing online games? What are you, another Norwegian prince that apparently number in the thousands? Whatever, just ignore him.

I sped up my pace and entered the girl’s change room and started to strip. At least, I’d like to say I started to strip, but there were two problems. The first problem was, I had no clothes to change into and…

“Hey, aren’t you going to answer me?”

This damn pervert was the second problem. Just how bold are perverts getting these days? When I looked over to him and examined his clothes, they weren’t bad in terms of quality. A black overcoat and black undershirt with two swords on his back. One sword was black while the other was light blue color. What’s with this poser? I really had the urge to kick him.

The swords were lame, but his clothes at least suited my preferences. But again, the pointless swords on his back really made me want to vomit though.

“Hey, mister, want to have a good time?”

“Eh? Good time?”

“Yes, a good time. If you know what I mean.”

I traced one finger along his cheek and tossed him a wink. His eyes opened wide and I could tell he was tempted by my offer.

“Well, if it’s a woman who beat me in a race, I suppose I can lower myself to someone of your standards.”

“Close your eyes.”

He obediently did as requested while I slid my finger down from his cheek and removed his overcoat. I pushed him backwards and he fell onto the ground. He looked strangely excited towards the whole situation.

I put on the pervert’s overcoat and was just about to walk out when I suddenly realized something. Wasn’t this the perfect chance to release some of my pent up frustration? A broad smile floated onto my face when I looked down on the self proclaimed crown prince. I was around San alot lately and I had unconsciously gone into full on maiden mode, but that did not change my true nature.

I sat down on the bench beside the idiot lying on the ground, crossed my legs and took off the slipper from my right foot. I poked his face with my stocking covered leg and bent forward towards him to accentuate my bust while resting my chin on my palm.

“Well mister pervert, whatever shall we do with you?”

“Pervert? Insolence! How rude! I am a dignified crown prince. How dare you poke my face with your foot.”

“You know, you’re not very convincing when you’re breathing heavily like that.”

Those expectant eyes, it’s really too easy to read you. Well, it’s not like I’m planning to actually do anything aside from blue ballsing you.

“Do you have any rope?”

“Rope? Why would you need that?”

“That’s a secret.”

I sent another wink towards him and he looked eager to cooperate.

“System, purchase the finest rope available. Prisoner points are not an issue.”

A rope materialized out of thin air in front of me after the self proclaimed crown prince said that. I was wondering what that PP stuff I earned after the race was. So it was prisoner points? There was even a system shop, how cliche.

The rope was very fine, but it was still extremely sturdy. Perfect. Maybe this will teach him not to follow a woman into changing rooms. I took the rope and tied his wrists behind his back.

“Miss, is this some sort of play?”

“Yes, it is.”

I used the same rope to tie up his ankles while I was at it. When I was done I shot him a smile and heartlessly left the female changing room.

“Eh? What? Where are you going?”

It’d be more fun if it was abandonment play with my little brother, but towards an idiot in a game posing as a crown prince I hardly feel satisfied. I suppose I can only satisfy myself with this little play for now.

“Hah. Hah. This isn’t too bad either.”

Like I thought, he’s a pervert after all.

(POV Sanji)

I didn’t have much interest in winning the race, but when I looked at the leaderboard and saw a certain name, I was determined to get some payback. My name was registered as San, so I figured I’d be safe if I griefed father in law. Of course I was curious as to how he had access to this game, but he was a god after all. What can he not do?

After I made sure he failed to get first place, I ditched my vehicle and ran back to hide in the building near the finish line. When I entered I ran into my big sister.

What in the? Looking at my sister, she was wearing a strange black robe that I felt should be copyrighted, over a pink dress. I felt it was a shame because the pink dress looked good on her. It created a strange gap with her sadistic personality, but the black robe really suited her personality much more than the pink frilly dress.

When she ran into me, her initially cold eyes turned a bit flustered while her eyes darted about left and right like she had been caught at the scene of a crime. I really had a strange feeling when I heard the strange panting noises coming from the change room behind her.

When she noticed where my curious gaze was directed, the changing room behind her, she fidgeted with her hair a bit and meekly said, “a pervert followed me into the changeroom, but luckily I was able to escape after trapping him.”

“I see.”

I still squinted with clear suspicion in my eyes, but decided to ask no further. Right now, it was essential I escape from father in law before he found me. I’m sure he’s off raging right now trying to wreck me after getting third place. He’s a war god after all, how could he accept anything but first place?

“How do we log out of this game anyways?”

“That little girl never mentioned anything about it.”

“Right, that little girl never mentioned anything about it San.”

Eh? The first was clearly the beautiful voice from my big sister, but who was the second person’s voice that came from behind me?

A shiver went down my back and I warily turned my eyes and checked behind me only to see someone I hadn’t seen in quite a while.

“Brat, you really thought I wouldn’t see through your disguise? You really thought you could escape my eyes?”

“Haha. Long time no see, father…”

In law, I couldn’t bring myself to say that with my sister here when I thought about how she may end up hurt. If it was when I first disguised myself, I wouldn’t have had any problems revealing he was my father in law, but after I realized she had fallen for the disguised version of myself, I felt horrible every time I thought about it.

“Father?!”

My big sister flusteredly cleaned up her appearance when she heard how I had addressed him. When father in law saw that, he glared daggers at me before his eyes lit up a bit like he had thought of something brilliant.

When I realized he was probably thinking of causing trouble for me, I pulled him off to one side and whispered, “for the record, she’s my big sister, please don’t get any weird ideas father in law.”

“Hoh? You have the nerve? To boldly two time, with a relative at that, when you have my daughter? How would you like to die? Did you want a quick death or a painful one?”

“Please father in law, cut me a break! It’s complicated.”

“A painful one it is then.”

“Should I inform your wife about the goddess of seduction, also known as my wife’s master?”

“You little vile thing, you dare?! How do you even know the details?”

His eyes were squinted and clearly suspicious whether I really knew the specifics of the whole affair.

“My wife is quite open with the information she has. She’s made all sorts of information available to me for purchase in the system shop she made.”

When I saw the slight fear that entered his eyes, I couldn’t help but feel empowered. Having dirt on and blackmailing the mightiest existence was a new type of feeling. It felt pretty pleasant.

“Wipe that smug smile off your face you brat. You really think a war god is afraid of little blackmail from a tiny insignificant mortal like you?”

“In case you thought I didn’t have mother in law’s contact information… hehe.”

When he saw the wide smile on my face after my chuckle he just snorted with a cool and composed expressionless face, turned around imposingly, then fled with his tail between his legs. Once again, somehow, on this day, an untold history was made.

“What? He’s gone already? I didn’t even get to introduce myself. Did I do something wrong?”

When big sister saw father in law run away like a defeated dog, she seemed rather dejected and troubled.

“Father is shy like that.”

(POV Sen Kami)

You damn brat! Shy your mother! You may have some dirt on me, but just you wait. I’ll make sure my daughter sees the light and dumps you so hard you’ll wish you were never born. My daughter is just in her rebellious phase. I read all about it from online parenting ebooks from your world.

Books such as “My daughter no longer loves me”, “My daughter no longer wants to marry me like she did when she was younger”, and “Raising your rebellious teenage daughter.”

There is no way your petty love of a bit over a month can surpass a four billion year father and daughter relationship! You’re just like one of those trashy delinquent bad boys mentioned in the book, “Trashy delinquent bad boys that your rebellious teenage daughter falls for, but later on in life realizes it was a mistake.” Hmmp! She’ll definitely divorce you sooner or later when she matures.