Ceo And His Empress.. - Volume 2 Chapter 211 208.away From Her..3

It’s been a little more than a week already…

After that little face-off, ZiXuan’s week was not strenuous, it was just a bit traumatic.

After that day, he was locked in a dark room, well, it was not the hall, but a very small room where he couldn’t even spread his hands completely, he was given one energy bar as a meal for the whole day and around 100ml of water per day…

The floor was very cold throughout the day, but because he couldn’t distinguish between day and night anymore, it didn’t matter and he slept whenever he could.

ZiXuan was also claustrophobic… it was probably because he didn’t like spaces where he couldn’t move freely as it always reminded him of this huge place where it was even worse, maybe that was the reason, he still didn’t like to close his bedroom’s door even now… and so, with the steel bars at the front that enclosed him in this small dark space, his trauma definitely returned.

Well, a phobia towards something was really hard to cure and that also depended on the will of the one suffering from it… ZiXuan was also a normal man and his sub-consciousness was taking a toll on his body at the moment, well, the food and water were also just enough for him to pass a half-a-day so, his brain wasn’t functioning well and his defence mechanism definitely suffered; this was even worse than physical torture… at least there was another person with him…

Staying alone in the dark place led to delusions and hallucinations…

Without anyone or anything to confirm it, he felt like he actually might not be alive anymore or, sometimes when he remembered what Meilin had said to him in the end, he will retrospect and question himself if he actually deserved to be beside her…

Yes, he knew that she loved him and it was the same for him as well, but would she really be happy with him…?

Didn’t she deserve someone better..?

Did she still think that he was someone she needed to take care off…?

Isn’t that why she still couldn’t leave her back to him in emergency situations..?

This was pent up stress and questions he had been suppressing for years now so, now that his mind was too clear and he didn’t even have to remain alert as he faced the torture… his senses were flooded by them… the first 2-3 days he could smile as he thought about her, but the next half became suffocating if he thought about her… all these years, his world revolved around her even when she wasn’t there… he didn’t mind, but was it the same for her?

Wasn’t that the reason she left him for five years….?

Did she realise that her love for him was only because they have been together for a long time?

Did she misunderstand her feelings of protectiveness as a love..?

ZiXuan realised that the reason of him not taking the first step was because he wasn’t really sure… of course, there was the fact that he actually wanted her to get straight with her past, but maybe he was unconsciously trying to stretch the time from his side as well…

She had never confirmed it… so, he felt like he might be deluding himself… maybe what he was seeing was actually what he wanted to see.

He felt lost…

He didn’t regret the fact that he gave his body and soul to her, not even for a moment, but the thought of everything being his delusion… that she may not like him from the start and it was just her sense of responsibility towards him working, made his gut wrench in pain and it became suffocating for him…

He wasn’t even sure if this was the sequelae of his phobia or, his emotions running wild.

He regretted having not asked her…

Why couldn’t he have asked her when they were together?

ZiXuan finally felt the fear of his rash decision…

He was not scared of that man, more so after he knew what his purpose was… to him it was very cheap… it was just that, when he was with Meilin, he didn’t get to think about these things and he was fine with suppressing these morbid feelings forever… but now he was scared that if he couldn’t go back, won’t she finally realise the very facts?

She was a very responsible person, but she also checked her emotions to be in line… if he couldn’t return… if he had actually died already… won’t she move on?

He felt scared… he felt very vulnerable and sensitive…

The matter they have been pushing for years now finally came to hit him hard… and because he was alone and this place always reminded him of his trauma and his brain couldn’t think well without food and water.. he was in a miserable state…

Each passing day, the twinkle in his dark eyes dimmed and he didn’t even know what he felt anymore…

As he thought more, even if he didn’t want to believe in it, he couldn’t help but think that what he was thinking was actually true and to him, his delusions became truth and then his assumed reality… the abyss he had jumped into became a swamp and he was pulled into it each passing second…

He had tried to struggle at first but then he gave up.

This might be the difference between Meilin and ZiXuan…

To Meilin, if her feelings were not accepted, she will definitely go mad and make sure to bind this man to herself forever; her love won’t be pure anymore and it will become toxic, but to be with him, she will do everything… but of course, if she thought that he could be live a better life without her, even if she had to kill her heart, she will let him free and decide to protect him from the shadows…. it was very ironic, but sometimes even she wasn’t sure about what her heart wanted… just one thing was clear… she will definitely push herself to live, as long as, she could be by his side.

For ZiXuan, it was a little different… it was probably because how they grew up in the start…

though Meilin knew it was hard for her to believe in someone, she still had a support, in the face of her grandparents… but ZiXuan was different, from the start, he didn’t have anyone to lean on, he killed even before he could feel the warmth of others and he knew how fragile a life actually was… without him knowing, the heart he thought was made of iron actually turned out to be the most sensitive to wounds.

He couldn’t accommodate many people inside his heart for the same reason and gave his everything to her, but now that he thought of their being a possibility of everything he thought till now being an illusion, just his heart’s desire and thinking as such, he was breaking inside… if Meilin wasn’t there for him, he will probably choose to end his life because he didn’t want to be an obstacle in her life… he wouldn’t want for the person in his heart to have the same ending as the people he had killed…

These two were connected by fate but they had started their paths too differently…

Their life together played inside his head for the nth time… but he felt like all of it was actually a dream… at some point, he even saw himself being a part of a dream from another life… maybe this was not the real world, but everything was just a dream… though he hadn’t wanted to wake up from it, after having ‘realised‘ that it may be a dream… he couldn’t allow him to remain here, even if his whole heart and soul wanted this facade to continue…

The floor was cold, but his heart felt even colder.

After more than a week, the wounds in his body had stopped bleeding and had scabs had also started forming, before throwing him here, they had given him some basic first-aid… they still wanted him to survive… but if it was possible, it would have been better for him to die like that… he could use it as an excuse…

He knew the answer to his suffering was very simple…

All he had to do was simply go find her and ask her… but if he had the guts to do it, he would have already done it… it was because he was scared of getting hurt that the situation stretched to this point and at this point, it became harder plus, she was too far away from here and he had lost the fire to struggle…

Mental well-being was sometimes more essential than one’s physical health… and communicating with another became very essential than always suppressing your feelings.

ZiXuan laid down on the cold floor… his body directly touched the cold floor as his weak eyes tried hard to remain open… even breathing became hard for him… his chapped lips opened and a feeble whisper came out of them… “Lin…lin…”

BUT–

Just when he was about to fall asleep–

BONKKKKKKKKK

WEE—WOO—WEE—WOO

The emergency alarm in the base went off…

Someone had infiltrated this isolated and partially underground base for the first time and the continued alarm showed that they haven’t been eliminated yet…