Ceo And His Empress.. - Volume 2 Chapter 230 227. Scarred And Scared..

Nobody said anything and everything returned to serenity before, ZiXuan spoke again–

“Meilin… I’m in love with you… for a long time now I knew that this life of mine is incomplete without you…I’m sorry that it took this long for me to tell you this… Meilin, I love you….”, his confession was simple because he would rather show it through his action than use 3000 words to describe it and because they were very simple, Meilin got it faster…

She saw the look in his eyes, it was one she had been using to see him for a long time now… she was sure of what it was, but she wondered if it was an illusion…

Yes, a second ago, when she opened her eyes, she could actually see again… but these few moments felt too much like a fantasy and so, accepting it was hard…

She had been in love with this man for years now, for better or for worse, she never thought that her feelings will be returned, it was not that she didn’t want to belive his words… it was more like, she didn’t have that self-confidence in herself when it came to matters concerning him.

He was the only person who knew that she had been quite unstable from the time she came back… that kidnapping incident had left a deep scar in her unconscious…

He was not one to be attracted by her wealth and her personality was not the most likeable, to begin with; as a family, they will have to accept all the aspects of their members, but when he became a lover, he was not obliged to do the same…

So, before she knew it, some words that shouldn’t be spoken to him, left her lips–

“…This is just a fleeting emotion… You just think that I’ll leave you in case you don’t accept my feelings for you and your insecurity led you to think as so… Xuanxuan, your feelings are in a mess because of what happened this time…this isn’t love..”… what was left unsaid was, ‘yes, it isn’t’…

It was a mistake on her part, no matter how strong ZiXuan was, her questioning his feelings without any prove was wrong… it was her own insecurities doing the talk, but even if that was the case, right now, she had indeed just thought for herself… she had thought of it as an auditory hallucination and even then, her first response was to deny it.

ZiXuan would be lying if he said that he wasn’t hurt, but he guessed that she probably got her memory back… he didn’t know if he should be happy about it though…

She was in strong denial right now and he was the only person to bring her back to face reality, face his feelings and hers too.

“Linlin, listen to me…”, his grip on her body tightened as he forced her to look up at him.

Meilin was indeed scared by now, she didn’t want this to continue, even though she knew that making something else purely hypothetical from someone’s emotion was wrong; at this point, her body and mind were working in co-ordination to boost hr defence mechanism so that she wouldn’t be in too much pain at the end of this.

She shook her head and didn’t dare to look him in the eyes as she tried to run away, “…it’s really late, we should get going… we have got an early day tomorrow… I’ll go back first…”, even though she had decided to face her feelings head-on, now that the situation changed contrary to what she thought, she couldn’t stay still.

If this was a dream, she would actually like to wake up from it, because she feared that once she accepted this situation, in case she woke up at a later period, she won’t know what to do with her life anymore.

For the first time, she didn’t care if he was hurt by her words… she struggled, the words he had said a while ago.. those few words that she never in her wildest of dreams thought would be spoken to her by anyone and more so, ZiXuan… echoed inside her heart and soul…

Meilin was really weak to things that involved her heart, it seems… the trauma had scarred her and she was struggling against everything to continue living…

This just proved that she had decided it without his consent that her feelings, her love can only be unrequited from the very start… she really never thought that he will ever accept her and major behind her not confessing to him till now was that she has always been scared of the answer…. no matter what it was.

Who could understand it better than ZiXuan himself?

He himself has been struggling to do the same and he couldn’t deny that he was guilty of what she had become; to this point, he didn’t do anything for her, he has been avoiding this topic and she had been hurting herself.

“Linlin…listen…”, they needed to communicate; the problem was that they have been assuming too much without trying to listen to others what the wanted to say!

But Meilin didn’t want to listen!

“No!! I don’t want to!! Xuanxuan! Please I am begging you…”, her voice trembled as she choked up, “..please… just please let me leave…. I- I don’t want my expectations to go over my head..even though I know it’s not real I can’t help it…..I get my hopes up… I was happy to have given my everything to love you…”, it was then that she remembered she still hadn’t confessed and now that she thought about it, doing that will probably end it once and for all… so, even though she felt a suffocating pain, she gritted her will and said, “You don’t have to worry about me leaving you again.. You see… I… I Love you… Back then, I promised to be your knight, but that wasn’t enough… my heart didn’t remain pure… I fell n love with you…with my everything and so, I even if you don’t do this… I will still be with you… Just now, when you said you’d li– liked me, it was etched into my heart… so… I- I can live happily with those memories… I don’t want to get my hopes up and in the future to get my dreams shattered… all because of a momentary impulse… Xuanxuan, I don’t want to be hurt anymore…”, her grip that held on to his shirt tightened, as she looked at him with detached eyes, it was the same dead eyes that ZiXuan didn’t like to see in her otherwise charming eyes, “…I am… scared….”

Meilin had never shown her weakness to him like this, even when she had lost her memories, she had maintained her strong heart… and that just showed how vulnerable she was at this moment…

It was probably the only time, Meilin would act like this…