Classless Ascension - Chapter 366: Drinking Party

Three humans and an orc walked into a bar. All eyes turned toward the powerful-looking creature as people gasped in shock.

“What the hell is this?!”

“This is a costume, right? Right?!”

“Wow, I guess I drank a little bit too much. I’m seeing orcs!”

“What happened to the bouncers?! Are they still alive?! Should we call the MTA?”

Many were unsure of what to do as anxiety slowly overcame them. But then that one bodyguard showed up, instantly attracting everyone’s attention.

“Everyone! This friend right here is the new mascot of our bar! Please give him a warm round of applause!”

The bar’s patrons were utterly confused. Why the heck was a bar with the name Sunny using an orc as a mascot?! But seeing him smile and appear so excited, they lost any sense of danger, as they felt curiosity instead.

The bodyguard approached them, his face a little stiff. He then murmured next to the orc;

“Please don’t crush my skull. I just said that so they wouldn’t report you.” He uttered a little shakily. “Now, please follow me. I’ll bring you all to a private VIP room.”

“Don’t worry, human. You can live for now. But did you get the food I asked you to fetch?” The orc king inquired.

The bodyguard took out a bunch of boxes of chocolate and a few whip cream cans before handing it all over to the orc. Had he been turned into his errand boy?! Just in time to reach a cozy room in the corner.

It was separated from the rest of the bar by an expensive-looking curtain, and it had amethyst tables that gave it all a very chic look. Josh gave a thumb up to their host, but so did the orc.

“Good job, human. I’ll give you a 5-star review!” The orc praised with the human cheering by the side.

Wasn’t this green guy adapting a little bit too fast? He already knew about reviews?! What would happen if he left him alone a little bit longer? Would he start his own business empire? Perhaps a fast-food chain: Orcish King of Burger!

Now, it was time to get the party started:

“First of all, let’s get some booze here. Bodyguard dude, bring us enough alcohol to drown a city!”

As their host left to busy himself, the orc king turned serious.

“Master, about my previous question. What should we do about the next Floor? I think it could be very deadly.” He solemnly declared.

Josh did a quick search on his UW, quickly understanding what the issue was about.

“I see. The next Floor is one with a flying enemy. I’ve already encountered a similar one in the past. It was an Eagle King. Now, this one might take a little bit more preparations for sure—”

“Master, it’s worse than that! I’ve noticed something very problematic. It seems the archives of your entire species are erroneous. I’ve checked many times over and over and yet—” the orc heatedly began.

“I know what’s happening. Have you ever encountered the terms Normal, Hard, and Hellish in your information search?” Josh casually asked. <br/>

“What?! Ah, yes! I’ve read about it, and it seems humans cannot head inside the Hellish version, right? This point really seems odd, but all the sources—”

“That’s bullshit. Humans can enter hellish easily. It’s as easy as selecting the difficulty with the Tower Protocol.”

“Ah, does that mean that I’m not a Hard orc but a hellish orc?” The green creature seriously asked.”

“I sure hope you’re not a Hard orc since there are only us dudes here.” Josh chuckled.

“….?” (Confusion of the highest order.)

“Just a bad joke. But yeah, you were in Hellish, and the entire Tower should have evolved thanks to the divine energy it has absorbed. Now the only question is how much harder that next fight will be.” Josh uttered.

“Master, what are you able to do ranged-attack-wise? What about the ability to fly?” The orc was staring at him with hopeful eyes.

“The ability to fly? What do you take me for? Super-Josh?! I do have a bow, but it doesn’t penetrate defenses that well compared to my normal attacks. As for flying, the best I can do is use strings to hang on the damn thing.” Josh admitted.

“Master, that’s a recipe for failure. We’re 100% going to die if we head to such a fight.”

“Weren’t you the one that just chuckled while I destroyed your subordinate? Now you’re giving me lessons about overconfidence?!”

“I have grown since then. That is why.” The orc nodded with deep wisdom I his eyes.

Why was it that this orc seemed like the perfect protagonist? Strong, smart, a tragic back-story, and an amazing goal to strive for? But the bodyguard came back just in time to end the serious conversation.

“I brought the strongest stuff we have. There is nothing better in the city! Well, at least not anything legal….” He mumbled under his breath.

Josh happily grabbed a mug, handing one to everyone in the room.

“I’d like to give a toast. To Morpheus for crafting me an amazing weapon that will carry me for the Floors to come! To the bodyguard for being our host! Finally, to my new companion, the one that will one day become the True Orc King!”

“Cheers to that, but can I observe said weapon some more? I’m not exactly done with—”

“Sure, here you go.” Josh handed it over.

“Hehe, master, you forgot killing gods. Cheers to that too!”

“Hehe, you’re right! Let’s not forget killing the gods!”

The two happily began drinking happily. It only took them a few seconds to down the golden liquid that was strong enough to down a bull easily.

The bodyguard on the side was already sweating. Slay gods?! What the actual fuck?! At this moment, he made a mental note to avoid taking them as clients. Who knew who or what they would anger in the future.

“Now, let’s start a strategy meeting. Now, we need to figure out how I can power—up to keep climbing. Oh right, if anyone proposes Climbing at normal, I’m punching them!”

They began brainstorming as they drank ceaselessly. This wouldn’t be an issue, right?…

A VIP room in the Sunny bar smelled so much of booze that the heavy scent even permeated its exterior.

“G-guys, I think you should stop drinking already. You’ve had enough to kill a few elephants.” The bodyguard worriedly said on the side.

“So what if it can kill elephants?! We are all human and orcs here. There are no elephants!” The orc king thundered loudly enough to be heard in the entire bar.

“What I meant was—”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’s fine. After all, he can still speak coherently.” Josh waved him away as he cackled happily.

Funnily enough, the one who was the drunkest was the blacksmith. But in his case, it was 100% from the fumes, for he hadn’t consumed a single drop of it.

“W-wow, this sword is so smoooooth! Can you believe it?! Oh my goood, it’s so cooold too! It would be perfect for a hoooot summer! …Ah?! Wouldn’t this be perfect for the beach?!” Morpheus shouted in astonishment.

“For a beach? What do you want to kill on a beach? Crabs? Tourists? Or are you talking about that new aquatic Tower?” Josh raised a brow.

“H-hear me out! You could go up to sweaty people and help them.”

“Help them? How?”

“S-simple! The sword is cooold, so I’d offer them to touch it to cool down!”

“How would you do that?”

“Tcch— E-easy! I’d go: sister, would you want to touch my sword?! I swear it will feel really nice!!”

This was one sure-fire way to get reported for sexual harassment. Josh was almost tempted to bring him outside to see how people would react. But, they had serious business to attend to.

“Anyway, it seems our options are pretty limited,” Josh uttered.

“Well, not really master. The problem isn’t the options but your timeline. If you want to go back to Climbing ASAP, then this is our best bet.” The orc king appeared very serious.

Their first plan was to use specially made ropes for him to hang on the boss, but it would be very risky. The lack of solid ground could easily cause issues. As for considering the boss as solid ground? This wasn’t really an option.

With the Tower evolving, chances were that the new enemy would have a few tricks up its wings. It would likely be far easier to dodge whatever that was if he kept his distance. But that brought along another problem.

This meant that he would need a ranged-attack skill. Just having a bow and knowing how to use it wouldn’t cut it. He needed some serious firepower.

“Now, there remains the question of where the fuck can I learn an archery skill easily?”

“Master, I have read that some auction houses are selling skill gems that can be used to—”

“Denied, these things impose memories unto the users. It’s the same as with classes, really. I’m not comfortable with getting my mind invaded.” Josh protested.

“I understand, master. Then we’ll need to find someone with an actual long history of archery. If possible, one passed to their descendants.”

“A-archery? I hate archery! Archers don’t need blacksmiths, and I’m a b-blacksmith, soooo I hate archers!” He drunkenly complained.

That’s when their bodyguard host entered the room once more, bringing along some medicine for the poor drunken mess.

“Here, you guys should all drink this. Especially this guy.” He sighed as he went next to the blacksmith to force-feed him. “Here, you go, buddy, drink.”

“I-I don’t wannaaaa! I really hate archer! T-they’re the woooorse!” He kept grumbling.

“Me too, I hate archers—especially the ones who are assassins. But you can tell me about it later. For now, you should drink your medicine.” He convinced gently.

Hearing this, both Josh and the orc jumped up:

“HUMAN?! What did you just say?!”

“Repeat that?!”

“W-what?! He needs to drink his medici—”

“Not that! There would be archers in the LoA, right?!” Josh asked expectantly.

“E-eh…yeah, why?!”

“Master! We need to find this league of assassins right now! I’ve read about them. Apparently, they are all cowards with no honor attacking from the shadows. Human, where could we find them?!” He thundered.

He even grabbed the bodyguard as he began to shake him, expecting an answer.

“What are you doing?!”

“Enough, I know where to find them. I just happened to be a member.” Josh casually commented.

“What?!”

“What?!”

“W-what?! Alsoooo what are we surprised about?!”

Oh well, finding them wouldn’t be too hard. The only issue was how fast he could learn. His track record wasn’t that great.