Classless Ascension - Chapter 383: Proud Orc Is Clumsy!
Two brothers were at a loss as they watched the scene unfold before their eyes.
“Is it me, or does this seems like a goddamn cult?” Josh couldn’t help but remark.
[This….they seem to be very into it.]
The two were watching the orc rally the troops around. They were following him around, clamoring about Orc Pride. Somehow he had managed to brainwash all the dogkins.
This scene looked quite hilarious. Why did it seem like they were confused about their own race?! Well, at least they had unity as they marched to battle.
Then it was time for the war with the monkeys. One could have called the dog soldiers very brave, but crazy would also have been valid. They were throwing themselves at the enemy with no regard for their own lives.
[W-What the fuck?!]
“Yeah, it’s pretty impressive in its own way.”
The two couldn’t help but shudder as they watched the carnage happening. Hell, even Josh hadn’t managed to get so much loyalty out of them! Then again, handling the problem alone was definitely preferable.
Still, the battle was quickly over thanks to the orc’s leadership abilities that bordered fanatic cult leader level.
Afterward, there remained only the banana maze and the burger restaurant defense.
The orc didn’t have a good time. The maze almost drove him crazy as he kept shouting to no one in particular.
“What the hell is this?! I can track prey when hunting….but bananas?! Who the fuck came out with that?!”
[Pfft— I truly wonder.]
“Why do I feel like you’re having fun right now?”
[Because I am?]
“Fair enough, haha.”
The two brothers kept watching what was, in essence, a fail compilation.
Still, the orc finally cleared the maze through sheer willpower and tons of failures. Afterward started his burger training. He had so much trouble to evade that it was comical!
“Damn, it’s a good thing we came here. His evasion is shit! No wonder he had so much trouble back in the Tower.”
[Actually…most look like that.]
“Really?” Josh raised a brow, perplexed.
[Unsurprisingly keeping watch over a 360-degree area, dodging and completing orders all at once is quite challenging]
AT had a point. For anyone unable to feel killing intent, it would be difficult for them to evade the attacks coming from their blind spots, especially while multitasking.
Still, it remained oddly entertaining to see an orc rage in a kitchen. This truly was a kitchen from hell.
At some point, he even began to curse the “customers”. Then again, who could blame him? After all, they were trying to kill him— this whole thing not making any sense was just adding insult to injury.
“You can throw kunai but can’t make a freaking burger? How stupid are you?!”
“Just wait for your freaking turn! This orc is going as fast as— put down your fucking weapon already!” <br/>
“You guys don’t have any orc pride whatsoever! Bunch of pussies that hide behind a counter! Come on and fight me here!”
He kept thundering like a madman. Somehow, his taunts worked! Some monkeys ran up to him with shivs as they invaded the kitchen. Josh stared at it happen in shock.
“Is that supposed to happen?” He asked.
A short silence followed his question. It was as if AT was carefully thinking about the answer he would give.
[It’s not a bug. It’s an unexpected feature.]
Wow. At this moment, Josh was sure AT would have been wisely nodding if he had a body! He had put his hand on some book about online games, hadn’t he?
After lots of training, the orc did manage to achieve a small success. He was still getting screwed, but he managed to survive a few rounds. He was especially having trouble with the launchers.
Heck, his eyes would turn white in fear every time one entered the shop. As for how he dealt with it…. “Get to freaking cover!!!!” He’d shout while carrying cooks under his arms like a damn superhero.
But, they’d all inevitably end up blown to smithereens. Still, it was a nice try. The orc finally got back from his training journey.
He gazed at the air as one would toward a god as he sighed deeply.
“Thank you, Sir AT, for opening my eyes on so many of my shortcomings.” He bowed slightly before turning to Josh. “Thank you, Master, for bringing me here!”
Even as he looked tired and defeated, he still had nothing but gratitude for the two. So what if he was weak? He’d fight until he grew stronger! This was what it meant to have orc Pride.
[Talk later o/]
Josh and orc returned to the outside world, leaving poor AT alone in the Tower. Luckily, he was a protocol, and his notion of time differed from theirs. Still, Josh assured him that he’d be visiting again soon.
They had barely taken a single step out of the Alter Tower that they were already ambushed! There were fans (students) everywhere!
“The founder is back!”
“Oh my god! A new record so quickly. How?!”
“Leader! Please sign my puppies. They’re really nice!”
“Is the one by his side the mysterious Proud Orc Warrior?!”
Proud Orc Warrior? Did they all know about him already? Sure it was a small place but still.
Just as he was wondering, his gaze finally landed on some of the leaderboards nearby. His title was showing on the rankings! He finally understood why they called him proud.
– Josh’s Pet: Proud Orc Warrior.
This sure was misleading…In any case, the curious students were all glancing their way. Some couldn’t believe that a pet had beaten them. Josh didn’t even need to make a move himself to beat defeat them. He could just order his pet! Talk about domineering!
A sea of people pushed to get to the front row to gaze upon their idol. But suddenly, something strange happened.
Their faces turned pale as they shuddered intensely. Then without even hesitating, they all threw themselves out of the way with visible goosebumps. They were all looking toward their back in fright.
As the crowd parted way, a man was revealed. He looked quite like a yakuza: the typical suit, a bald head, a stern face, and toned muscles. He was gazing straight at Josh with a heated gaze.
The orc by the side instantly tensed up. There was something about this man that put him on edge. He took a step forward, ready to take care of the problem.
“What do you want?” He growled, staring at the newcomer.
But the man simply ignored him as he strode forward toward Josh. The aura he was emitting was obviously betraying his evil intentions! He could feel his mana tainting the surrounding, trying to latch unto them: this was a curse!
Without waiting, the orc charged forward!
His muscular legs created a small crater on the ground as he flew toward the enemy. His hammer appeared as he swung it with incredible momentum. It would land on the enemy and crack his skull!
But the man didn’t even bother avoiding. He looked as peaceful as a monk as he stayed completely still. Was the curse he was weaving so powerful that he couldn’t move?! He’d exploit this opportunity!
The deadly weapon made its way toward the enemy…only to miss. At the very last second, the orc had tripped?! How?!
He was sent tumbling on the ground face first. He quickly got up, ready to go back on the offensive only to be advised otherwise by the students.
“Brother orc, you really shouldn’t attack him.”
“Only pain awaits you if you try to fight.”
“That’s not true. Pain AND embarrassment!”
“Fair enough. The point is, you shouldn’t go near him at all.”
The orc couldn’t help but feel confused. Their beloved leader was getting attacked, and they weren’t doing anything?! It actually seemed like he was the only one panicking for some reason.
“Can’t you guys feel the curse?!” He thundered, perplexed, making them all chuckle.
“Oh yeah, we can feel it. That’s his trademark, alright!”
“He’s called the Motherfucking Monk of Calamity for a reason!”
The orc couldn’t help but gulp as he heard the nickname. It sounded so damn powerful! That’s when he finally realized that Josh wasn’t stressed in the slightest. He was even warmly smiling.
He had been so preoccupied with the curse that he had totally missed this point earlier.
The monk slowly advanced, showing a huge grin that showed sharp white teeth. He looked overly intense as he opened his mouth, likely to issue a challenge or something!
“Boss! You’re finally back! I’ve missed you so much!” He shouted while….crying?!
What the fuck?! He was now charging straight at Josh, giving him a large bear hug. What?! He looked so scary, but he sounded so damn innocent. What the hell?!
But the orc could still feel the great curse the man was emitting. No, there was no way it was a curse since he turned out to be an ally. What kind of sorcery was this?!
The students were all shivering as they watched the two men hug. They were looking at Josh as if he was doing something incredibly heroic and at the monk with horror.
“Is this guy powerful?” The orc couldn’t help but ask. Suddenly he felt his blood boil.
“Strong? No way! He’s very weak, in fact!”
“Yep, he’s probably the weakest here!”
“Oh, for sure. He’s pretty low-level.”
They all took turns disparaging him, making the orc even more confused. Then why did they fear him?
“But, no one sane would dare fight him.”
“No one sane would dare touch him.”
“W-what?!”
“He’s always cursing his surroundings with bad luck. Be glad you only tripped earlier. The last guy that tried hurting him got beheaded by a potato peeler.”
“Then there was that guy that choked to death on a banana peel after insulting the guy once.”
“My favorite is the guy that stole his hot coco cup and got crushed by a meteor.”
“I almost died once because I bumped into him by mistake.”
What the actual fuck?! The orc glanced at his master in horror. Would he be fine?! The two were happily discussing.
He made his way over, his legs as rigid as wooden pirate legs. He could hear the word “training” coming up very often.
“What did I tell you? You just needed to become serious to see some results.” Josh was wisely nodding.
“You were so right! I’ve managed to upgrade my curses successfully! Not to brag, but anything I touch is now plagued by terrible luck!” The monk bragged happily…
“Then why the heck are you touching Master?!” The orc bellowed angrily.
“Don’t worry about it. His bad luck has its uses.” Josh simply shrugged, disregarding the whole thing. “Now, I meant to talk to you about that monastery you hail from. It helps one stay clear-headed, right?”
“That’s the case, Boss! Why?” The monk asked, puzzled.
“I’m reaching the Floor with the succubi. An extra mental resistance skill wouldn’t hurt….” He admitted.
“Hahaha, understood, Boss! You can count on me! I’ll show you the way!” He happily thumped his chest in assurance.
The orc couldn’t help but freeze. Wait, was this why they had come here in the first place?! As expected of his master. He was always thinking a few steps ahead…
[A/N] Long chap! The OG subordinates are showing up one after the others haha. ^_^v Also, road trip time! Anything you guys want to see in a monastery? Cameo request for statues and stuff =P