Classless Ascension - Chapter 385: Hot Spring

The once serene mountaintop was currently quite tumultuous.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” The elder in charge bellowed toward a youngster who was usually called the Calamity Monk.

“But, old man, we’ve just arrived! You can’t expect us to just turn back and brave the snow, right? We’ll die freezing out there!” The youngster retorted.

Freeze to death?! This was freaking rich coming from a man that hadn’t even bothered to wear a coat!

The newcomers were knee-deep in the snow, didn’t have any gear to resist the cold, and yet didn’t seem bothered in the least. After Climbing the Tower, such a small issue wouldn’t bother them anymore. Their bodies were way more resistant!

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, but we won’t! Do you know how many accidents happened while you were here versus after you left?!”

“T-that, I’m not—”

“Twenty a day versus zero! Do you understand now?! Weren’t you supposed to start a monastery branch at Metropolis-C? What happened to that?! If you need funds to keep it running, I’ll help!”

Wow, this elder was so generous! But the other members clearly couldn’t agree with such a proposition. They were gasping at the elder as if he were crazy.

They kept silently mouthing at him, reminding him that they were broke. How would they eat if they gave all their money away? But even then, the elder seemed resolved to see him gone.

Josh couldn’t help but feel that it was strange. Back then, the monk had a very weak unlucky aura. How could he have done them any harm?

Could it accumulate over time?

What if it was spread between the people around and reduced in power?

Perhaps his bad luck wasn’t as bad in a Metropolis but deadly on an isolated mountaintop with only a few dozen monks?

Some bizarre stuff had happened during their road trip leading there. Perhaps it indeed was number-dependent.

In any case, Josh was seriously considering using his subordinates as a tactical weapon. Why send nukes when you can send an unlucky monk to vacation at their place?

Even now, the old and the new were still bickering. At the rate they were going, they wouldn’t stop anytime soon.

Josh interrupted:

“How about this? I’ll cover for any damage he causes, and we’ll set up camp in a remote corner.” Her proposed.

“T-that…”

“You guys believe in proper hospitality, right? Or was that fake?” Josh insisted.

“Yes we do, fine!….” He then pointed at their unlucky star. “But you aren’t allowed to come near the monastery building at all! Your bad luck is contagious!”

“That’s fine, old man!” the youngster energetically answered.

“The others can sleep in the monastery. As for you, follow me.” He grumbled as he led the way.

Josh couldn’t help but glance at the man, perplexed.

“You’re so afraid of him, and yet you’ll personally show him the way?” <br/>

“Tch— I already told you that we ARE hospitable. If there needs to be a guide, it might as well be an old man who’s already lived a long life.” He grumbled.

Damn! A life had to be risked to uphold their convictions, and he was prepared for the sacrifice to be him. He sure was an interesting character.

He didn’t comment either when they all followed along. He brought them to a rocky wall with many natural caves. They would be able to hide from the elements in there.

Of course, the way was full of peril. What should have been a simple and easy walk was suddenly fraught with pitfalls, rock slides, and even small-scale avalanches.

So many times, the elder thought that he’d kick the bucket, and yet there would always be a gentle hand rescuing him. It turned out the green giant made one hell of a protector!

They did reach their destinations, Josh sending the orc to escort him back to the monastery. The elder left looking so shellshocked that it appeared that his soul would be about to leave his body.

Dale, who had been surprisingly quiet all this time, was the first to run inside a cave energetically.

“I call shotgun!!”

“Shotgun for what? The cave?”

“I like it, and I’m claiming it! So spacious!”

“Haha, whatever. There are a few dozen like that one.”

While they went back and forth, the monk was staring in the monastery’s direction. Nostalgia was plastered all over his face.

“Good or bad memories?”

“Mostly good. They helped me grow so much.”

“I’m quite confused. Why didn’t they recognize you?”

“My mentor was quite the recluse….Thinking back on it, I think he knew about my bad luck aura. Well, it’s already too late to ask him.”

“What got him?” Josh asked.

The monk sighed deeply, regret flashing in his eyes.

“Officially cancer, but perhaps I’m the one to blame.” He softly uttered.

“He knew yet still taught you? He sounds like a great man. Perhaps had truly comprehended the meaning of being serene.” Josh commented.

“What’s the use of being serene if it doesn’t save a good man from death?” He gave a self-deprecating smile.

“Perhaps foster a great disciple? Whatever his reasons, it’s the choice he made, right? All you can do now is look toward the future and see….a huge fucking fireball!” Josh screamed.

“Do you mean the sun? What are you talki— What the fuck?!” That’s when the Calamity Monk finally noticed the huge fireball headed straight at him.

It burned like a miniature sun, melted the surrounding snow, and would freaking kill him if it made contact! He quickly threw himself on the side, feeling the heat near his body.

Steam rose from the ground, rendering their surroundings foggy.

“What the fuck are you doing, you madman?!” The monk’s voice echoed.

“Oh, just helping you dry your tears. No need to thank me!” Came Dale’s playful voice.

Well, that sure was one peculiar way to rescue someone from depression. Throw a fucking a fucking sun at them, triggering their fight or flight response. Hard to feel nostalgic when you’re running for your life.

The two were now arguing.

“Are you crazy?!”

“Yes!”

“…”

“…”

Never mind, it was already over…

It seemed like neither truly dared to fight against the other.

One had extreme firepower. Josh had to admit that Dale had progressed immensely since the last time he had seen him.

Back then, he could barely conjure a fireball, but now he could turn his entire surroundings into a fiery Hell.

As for the monk, it was self-evident. What if he cursed his killer from the grave? Would there even be any way to counter such a thing?

“Still, this place sure is snowy, isn’t it?” Dale remarked.

“You’re really observant, aren’t you?”

“Yes!”

“…”

“…”

Seriously, what was up with their conversations?! Even now, Josh wasn’t sure if they were friends or mortal enemies.

As far as he knew, the two were rivals in the Alter Tower, especially after Draconic had returned to the guild to keep Climbing the regular Tower.

“It’s a bit too cold for my taste, actually.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes!”

“….”

“…”

“But, as they say, there’s no use complaining about what we can change.” Dale mischievously grinned.

A second later, he began raining fire all over the place. The mountain rumbled, the snow melted, and the temperature soon rose. At this moment, he truly seemed to deserve his self-proclaimed “Phoenix” title.

“Now, this is so much better!”

“Are you done monkeying around?!”

“Yes!”

“…”

“…”

That’s when a sound echoed from inside the fog.

— Splish! Splash! —

“What are you guys waiting for? The water’s really nice!” Dale ushered them in.

Josh couldn’t help but chuckle. Since when could Phoenixes make instant hot springs?!

So much for that one elder being worried about the unlucky monk affecting his monastery. Perhaps Dale was a bigger threat? Then again, it seemed like he truly had great control.

Josh unhesitatingly undressed, slipping into the newly created boiling pond. The heat surrounded his body, making him release a sigh of contentment.

Just like that three naked dudes happily dipped in boiling water.

They could hear the splashing of water, but it was so foggy that they couldn’t see each other. Good thing.

As Josh closed his eyes to relax, he heard the two converse. They were already going over how they’d brag about the whole trip back at the school. Were they actually friends?

For now, he’d simply relax.

Minutes passed, soon turning into hours. The poor Dale was used as a human heat generator.

“The temperature is off a bit.” Josh would complain at times, forcing him to adjust it.

What had started as a relaxing soaking time for him had now turned into training. He couldn’t lose focus for a single instant!

“The hot spring truly was a great idea.” The monk teased.

“Yes….” Dale sounded slightly sorrowful.

That’s when the orc came back.

“Is that a hot spring?! I’ve seen this in the documentaries! It’s one of the favorite places for humans to mate, right?” He innocently remarked.

Yep….he still considered porn documentaries.

“What the fuck are you talking about?! We’re all dudes here!” Dale cried out.

“Oh, I know how biology works. I’m just talking in general. Say, can I see how you do it? I’m interested in the mana part of it.” The orc respectfully asked.

“That…alright. Just follow the sound of my voice.” Dale answered.

After a few seconds of an orc and a pyromaniac playing Marco Polo, they finally found each other.

“Alright, I grabbed your arm. Now just come this way.” Dale called out.

“Brother…..that’s not my arm….I don’t mind showing you, but you should at least ask, right?” The orc shyly replied.

It took Dale a few moments to process the information, but then he realized just what he had grabbed.

“Oh fuck! I’m gonna be sick!”

“How was it? Was it impressive?” The monk’s voice echoed in the background.

All that followed was the sound of fireballs exploding all over the place as Dale as he vented on the damn mountain. This memory would forever haunt him!

Except, a few fireballs later, a weird rumbling sound came from the mountain.

Had he inadvertently caused a chain reaction?

What were the chances?!

“Did you screw up?”

“Yes!”

“…”

“….”

“For fuck’s sakes!”

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