Classmancers A Moba Esport Story - 145 Terrible Marketing

Monday came around. It was time for the clubs of Skyline Junior High to start recruiting new members.

Each club captured a spot to advertise the club. Some spread along the hallways, others filled the schoolyard and some even took control of entire classrooms. They all prepared tables, flyers, posters, mics and everything else they could get their hands on. Compared to that, the Classmaners club…

“This area will be free,” The club advisor, Ms. Stone, showed them to an area in the middle of nowhere on the schoolyard. “That’s the best the school could give. Just do your best. Good luck.”

“You think that hag even try negotiating anything better?” Luke rolled his eyes.

“Shh! She’ll hear you!” Vincent waved his arms around and tried to hide Luke from view. Thankfully, Ms. Stone has already vanished from view.

“I gotta agree,” Kai crossed her arms. “This sucks. We’re surrounded by enemies on all sides.”

“‘Enemies’ is a little…” Vincent scratched his head. In a way, Kai was right. All the clubs competed over the same general audience: the freshmen. And, thanks to this amazing arrangement, the Classmancers club was lost out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by dozens of other clubs.

Just to reach their table, a freshman would have to pass through at least three different clubs along the way. What were the chances of such an adventurer reaching its destination with all these temptations along the way?

Not to mention, the sun was blazing hot today. Most students stayed inside the building as they toured around, so the number of possible candidates was already cut down by more than half. These were all rough circumstances for the club.

However, it was too early to give up! This was no club of quitters. They shall overcome this ordeal and find all the strongest players in the area! The Den of Undiscovered Potential shall suck all these players in like a black hole!

“Alrighty,” Vincent fished inside his backpack. “This is what I prepared for today.”

He took out the registration forms. They were updated to the latest format they agreed upon on Friday. Yuel was a tad cautious of leaving this clown with the responsibility of printing everything but Vincent proved himself.

Of course, just in case, Yuel has already checked where he could print some copies at school. He even brought money with him to pay for it as needed. Thankfully, it was unnecessary in the end.

“Oh!” Lars grabbed a registration form and nodded in approval. “This looks sick!”

“I have to admit,” Yuel nodded as well. “It’s well done. Surprisingly.”

“Please,” Vincent objected. “I think ‘surprisingly’ was unnecessary there.”

Vincent indeed printed the registration form as they agreed on but he also added some extra flavor to the design. Thankfully, it wasn’t any of the terrible designs he showed them last week. This time, the design was simple and effective.

The form had one of the official Classmancers wallpapers and stylized text for better visibility. There were no silly terms or edgy images plastered on it. Just a simple and well-edited background that caught the eye.

In fact, it was so well-done that Yuel wanted to keep a copy. Lars shared the same sentiment and acted before Yuel finished the thought. The goof stuffed like five flyers into his backpack while everybody else was busy appreciating them out. Truly, these flyers were well-made; astonishingly well-made.

“You made then yourself?” Yuel asked.

“Nah, I asked my mom to fix something,” Vincent admitted. “You all didn’t like my godlike photoshop edits, so I figured I’ll let a pro handle it.”

“That was definitely the right choice,” Yuel nodded.

“I have a feeling you’re making fun of me.”

“You think so?”

This wasn’t even the end of pleasant surprises. Vincent fished in his bag some more.

“I also brought these,” Vincent took out big posters of Classmancers. “I’d put them on a wall… if we had one!”

“We can use them as a table cover,” Kai suggested.

“My poor, poor posters,” Vincent pretend to be teary-eyed while caressing the posters like his babies. “Reduced to the rank of a mere tablecloth. Not like this.”

With that, everything was ready. At least, as ready as it could possibly be under the harsh circumstances. They had a (terrible) spot to advertise from, their table was covered with a big nice-looking Classmancers picture and they had a bunch of eye-catching flyers which doubled as registration forms.

“So,” Yuel started. “How do we go about it?”

“Normally,” Kai said. “Some stay behind to collect registrations while others walk around and hand out the flyers.”

“I’ll stay to guard the fort,” Luke announced right away. He already grabbed himself a chair from somewhere and sat down.

“Okay,” Lars grabbed a bunch of flyers. “I’mma run all over the place and advertise the club to everybody! The goal is to make at least half the school register!”

“You know we can only get one new member, right?” Yuel asked.

“No problem! If the school sees how popular the club is, it’ll raise the limit for sure! All the clubs gonna be combined into the Classmancers club, yo!”

“That won’t happen but keep up that spirit.”

“Make sure to recruit girls too,” Kai reminded. “As we agreed, girls will get a priority.”

“Yes,” Yuel added. “But, only if they’re at least Lv.30. Don’t bother recruiting girls who never heard of the game.”

“Okey-dokey!” Lars saluted and dashed off with the stack of flyers. “Seeya dudes later!” And poof. He was gone.

“I’ll walk around too,” Vincent took a stack of flyers. “I trust Lars, the Sun Messiah, to cover the schoolyard. So, I’ll walk inside the building and see who I can convert.”

“Are you sure you’re not just going to slack off?” Kai narrowed her eyes.

“You hurt my feelings, m’lady,” Vincent acted as if a blade just pierced his chest. “I’m the most passionate in here about recruiting! I seek to add as many new potentials as possible to our Den of Undiscovered Potential!”

“But,” Yuel retorted. “You’re not passionate enough to do it under the sun.”

“Unlike you three, I don’t possess an Anti-Sunlight Noble Phantasm.”

He was probably referring to the fact Yuel, Kai and Luke were all wearing sports caps. For Kai, this was the norm and she even wore the cap in classes. However, Yuel and Luke came especially prepared for the worst-case scenario today. Compared to them, despite how well Vincent prepared with the flyers and everything, he forgot to bring a cap for outside activities. It was the miscalculation of the century!

“Well,” Vincent glanced at Yuel and Luke. “If any of you kind gentlemen is willing to lend me their cap, I shall gladly walk down this scorched land and bear the infernal sun in order to spread the word about our secret cult!”

[When did we become a “cult”?] Yuel made a face. [Then again, what kind of club holds activities in the basement? Illuminati team confirmed.]

“So? Anybody wants to lend me their cap?” Vincent asked again but only from Yuel and Luke. Kai wasn’t even an option for some reason.

“No way, man,” Luke waved his hand in dismissal. “I ain’t giving up my cap here. My brain gonna melt without it. It’s hot as hell today.”

“Agreed,” Yuel nodded. “I rather keep my cap too.”

“Alrighty,” Vincent shrugged. “Then, the building is my domain. You, the chosen ones who carry the legendary rank S Anti-Sunlight phantasms, shall stay outside and resist the sun’s infernal blaze!”

Vincent took a stack of papers, shoved them into his backpack and strode toward the school building. Even though Lars and Vincent both took big stacks with at least thirty flyers, there were still plenty of flyers left behind on the table. Just how many copies did Vincent print? He was really into this whole thing despite knowing they’ll get only one member at best.

There were three members around the table and the big stack of flyers was calling them. Somebody should probably take them for a walk but nobody volunteered. Eventually, one of them broke the silence.

“You should go around and advertise too,” Kai pushed the stack of flyers toward Yuel.

“How about you do it while I stay here?” Yuel pushed the stack back in Kai’s direction.

“That won’t do,” Kai pushed the stack toward him again. “I’m the captain so I have to stay in the base.”

“Nobody outside the club knows or cares about you being the captain,” Yuel pushed the flyers back. “Besides, this isn’t some military operation. You can walk around without any risk to your life.”

“The captain’s job is to organize the operation. Leg work is for the grunts.”

“I’m not even an official member. You should be grateful I’m even helping out.”

“Oh, I’m very grateful. Now, how about you do some actual work and take a stroll?”

“I don’t believe leg work is my strongest suit.”

Wham. Half of the flyers slipped off the table due to their tug of war.

“Are you guys, like, five?” Luke made a face.

“I don’t wanna hear that from somebody who acts like he came here on a vacation,” Kai shot him a look. “Where did you even did that chair from?”

“Grabbed from one of the classes.”

“That makes us look really unprofessional,” Yuel said. “Everybody is standing in the other stalls.”

“Hey, you two are standing,” Luke chuckled. “That’s good enough to create a serious image. Haha.”

“Now, seriously,” Kai said. “We need at least one more person to walk around. Two recruiters aren’t enough.”

“Sure seems like it,” Yuel agreed. The entire school was like a war zone right now.

“Come join the soccer club!”

“Our basketball club went to nationals two years in a row!”

“Free cookies over here for anybody who signs up!”

It felt like huge armies were fighting for the freshmen’s attention. Meanwhile, the Classmancers club only deployed two soldiers to the field. No matter how much ground Lars and Vincent cover, they won’t be able to win this war.

“Wait,” Yuel looked around. “Where’s Ben?”

“Um,” Kai glanced away. “He’s busy with other things.”

“Like what?”

“Well…” Kai left the question hanging for a while. A long while.

“I bet he’s helping his pals from another club,” Luke said. “What did these guys join, again? I think it was basketball.”

“Probably,” Kai nodded reluctantly.

“Basketball again?” Yuel raised an eyebrow. Last time, Ben already excused his absence from club activity with that “basketball” excuse. [He’s at it again? What gives? He’s part of the Mancers club, not the basketball club.]

“Why does he keep hanging around the basketball club?” Yuel asked.

“That’s…” Kai started but didn’t finish again.

“Let’s just say,” Luke leaned back on his chair and took out sunglasses. “It’s better to not get involved.”

“Are you supposed to be a tourist or something?” Yuel made a face. With the cap, sunglass, and that laid back pose, it felt like Luke only came here for sightseeing and getting himself a tan.

[Seriously, this whole procedure is so lame.] Yuel sighed deeply. Everything about today was so unorganized that he wanted to cry. It was miles away from how everything was handled in StormBlitz. Even after the club carefully went over the details on Friday, they still found themselves in this messy situation and had to improvise on the spot.

It wasn’t entirely their fault, though. Even though they undoubtedly could’ve prepared better and agree on the roles ahead of time, the school itself was largely responsible for how messy everything was. Instead of letting the club borrow a proper space in which they could advertise themselves and get applications, this entire procedure became a battle royale.

It was a raging sea of people flowing all over the place. Loud shouts. Wild hand motions. People dashing. It was like an active war zone. Yuel will be swallowed whole if he dares to step in there. Gulp.

In the middle of this whole chaos, the Classmancers club only had a tiny stall that was composed of just one table. They were like a needle in a haystack. No surprise nobody paid any attention to them. Did people even realize they were recruiting?

“Come to the Tennis club! We got hot boys!”

“Swimming is the healthiest sport! Come to the swimming club if you want to be fit!”

“Soccer! Come play soccer! Soccer!”

Compared to these loud advertisements, the Classmancers stall was completely silent. Literally nothing about it drew anybody’s attention. It was a total disaster.

“So?” Luke motioned with his chin while lying back on his chair with his sunglasses on. “Anybody gonna call people over or what?”

“That’s…” Kai pursed her lips. No matter how Yuel looked at her, she definitely wasn’t the type to raise her voice and shout out loud. And, Yuel wasn’t the type either.

“How about you do it?” Yuel asked.

“Me?” Luke pointed at himself. “Alrighty, I guess I could. How much ya gonna pay me for it, though?”

“Let’ see,” Yuel rolled his eyes. “How about I don’t nag you regrading your meme picks? For each person you bring in, that’s one day free of nagging.”

“You know what? You got yourself a deal,” Luke gave a thumbs up and stood up. “CLASSMANCERS CLUB! Do you wanna play a video game during club activities? Then come to the Classmancers club!”

“Wha,” Yuel frowned. Luke’s volume was high enough to make some heads turn but what’s with these terrible lines!? Advertising the Classmancers club as some lazy “gaming club” was the last thing the club needed!

“You know we’re searching strictly for competitive players, right?” Yuel asked.

“Welp, you ain’t gonna get any competitive players if you got no players at all.”

“… I suppose that’s true,” Yuel had to concede. Even though this was terrible marketing, at least it got the attention of some people. A few students came to the stall to hear more.

“What’s that Class thing?”

“Is this really a video gaming club?”

Unfortunately, it mostly attracted the wrong kind of crowd. No offense to any of these students, but they weren’t the target audience. Yuel would gladly convert each and every one of them into a high-level Classmancer player but that was impossible with the club’s strict limit.

“Yes, this is a club for the game Classmancers,” Kai confronted the crowd. “But, we only search for competitive players who already know how to play.”

“Eeeeh? That’s a bummer.”

“Hey, I think I heard of the game before. Does that count?”

“Well, I haven’t played this one but I’m Gold in League of the Ancients. So, I’m kinda a pro. Does that count?”

The freshmen raided the stall with their curiosity.

“No, no, and no,” Kai shot down each and every one of them. “We can only accept experienced players. If you want to complain to anybody, complain to the school for its strict rules.”

“Meh, that’s dumb. Let’s go.”

“You have no idea what you guys are missing. I’m totally a pro player. LotA is way better than that crap anyway.”

One by one, the students left and the crowd thinned out. Only three candidates remained to sign up. They actually had some experience under their belt so they were relevant. One was a Lv.43 player, another was Silver III and the last was a rather impressive Gold V.

“That’s twelve days free of nagging for me,” Luke reminded.

[He was serious about that part?] Yuel smiled wryly. “But, only three people registered.”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything about how many register. I brought in twelve, so I get twelve days of peace.”

“Heh, fair enough,” Yuel produced a dry laugh. It was amazing somebody actually put in the work just for the sake of not getting nagged by Yuel. Perhaps he should exploit this kind of deal more often.

At any rate, even with Luke doing a loud advertisement, they failed to attract a large crowd. Were they really going to recruit anybody at this rate? Not to mention, not a single girl has applied so far…